how best teach an 8-year old with decent skills to be more aggressive and energetic on the field?

[Anonymous]

You got it or you don’t; passiveness isn’t wrong of her.

[Anonymous]

They always say “If they don’t bark as a puppy they won’t bite as a dog” .

[Anonymous]

She’s 8.

Let her be just be 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does it matter? She's getting exercise, enjoying the outdoors, learning the values of being a team player and good sportsmanship. Leave her alone and let her enjoy herself and get these benefits.

Why parents have to act like every kid is going to be some sports star is beyond me. There are so many benefits here. Don't spoil it for her.

OP here. I don't expect my daughter to be a soccer star. As I wrote, my praise outweighs my criticism by a ratio of 20 to 1. I'm not one of those crazed lunatic parents screaming angrily at my child from the sidelines.

But I do want to help her experience some larger success on the soccer field, in proportion to the skills that she has worked hard to develop. I think that it would be healthy and beneficial for her to see the fruits of her hard work realized in the form of making a large contribution to her team. I see nothing wrong with gently helping her to improve her performance in games. Would it be better if I were indifferent? I think that would be as bad as being too hard on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't teach it. I have one child who was so skillful and technical but would not be aggressive. Great midfielder but never won 50-50 balls. When he was younger he could be less aggressive because he had a great vision and could anticipate. His coaches say he is just too nice of a kid. He eventually switched to playing baseball and it suits him. My younger one is so unskillful but so crazy aggressive and tall that coaches love her. I can't believe how much aggressiveness is valued but she wins every single 50-50 ball. She plays ugly soccer and her coaches love it.

Yeah I have to agree with this--you get the kid you get and different sports suit different personalities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't teach it. I have one child who was so skillful and technical but would not be aggressive. Great midfielder but never won 50-50 balls. When he was younger he could be less aggressive because he had a great vision and could anticipate. His coaches say he is just too nice of a kid. He eventually switched to playing baseball and it suits him. My younger one is so unskillful but so crazy aggressive and tall that coaches love her. I can't believe how much aggressiveness is valued but she wins every single 50-50 ball. She plays ugly soccer and her coaches love it.

Yeah I have to agree with this--you get the kid you get and different sports suit different personalities.

Baseball is great for kids who are extremely driven to work on skills and perfect them but don't like aggression toward other kids.

[Anonymous]

You can't teach it. I have one child who was so skillful and technical but would not be aggressive. Great midfielder but never won 50-50 balls. When he was younger he could be less aggressive because he had a great vision and could anticipate. His coaches say he is just too nice of a kid. He eventually switched to playing baseball and it suits him. My younger one is so unskillful but so crazy aggressive and tall that coaches love her. I can't believe how much aggressiveness is valued but she wins every single 50-50 ball. She plays ugly soccer and her coaches love it.

I somewhat agree, but if the kid themselves decides to make a change in aggression level, then they can do it. My son used to be the same, and he is not super aggressive, but he made the decision to up his aggression level, and he stayed with soccer. He does fine. He's not on a very top travel team, but an medium level one, and he has fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't teach it. I have one child who was so skillful and technical but would not be aggressive. Great midfielder but never won 50-50 balls. When he was younger he could be less aggressive because he had a great vision and could anticipate. His coaches say he is just too nice of a kid. He eventually switched to playing baseball and it suits him. My younger one is so unskillful but so crazy aggressive and tall that coaches love her. I can't believe how much aggressiveness is valued but she wins every single 50-50 ball. She plays ugly soccer and her coaches love it.

Yeah I have to agree with this--you get the kid you get and different sports suit different personalities.

Most girls are not that aggressive by nature. If you can find a relatively athletic, aggressive girl, coaches figure they can teach them the skills. Can't teach aggressive.

[Anonymous]

When I am worried I am a bad parent I come over to the soccer forum to read about how to make your eight year old a more aggressive soccer player so she can “experience success.”

[Anonymous]

I've seen this play out with my older daughter who is now U15.
I don't think you can teach aggression. Period. Kids either have it or they don't.
There are definitely kids who are aggressive/focused/driven from a very early age and often those who become very good at soccer have this mentality.

My daughter has become more aggressive with age and the game itself gets far more physical after about age U13. She has risen to the occasion. However, she still lacks that extra competitive something
that is needed to be a top player. The girls I know who are top players (and will play in college) all have it. On the field and off (meaning on the field they will lay down whatever it takes to get the ball and off the field they
are practicing all.the.time and doing whatever it takes to become better).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s 8.

Let her be just be 8.

This. If she wants to play ULittle travel great, if not, that's great too. If she wants to work hard that fine, if not, that's fine too. She's 8!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I am worried I am a bad parent I come over to the soccer forum to read about how to make your eight year old a more aggressive soccer player so she can “experience success.”

"Aggression" doesn't mean punching another player in the face.

It means being energetic on the field, pushing hard, not giving up on a loose ball, digging deep when you are tired, etc.

[Anonymous]

Ugh...OP, I get what you are asking. Unfortunately you can't ask a question without your parenting being criticized. You have a child who has exhibited some technical skill with the ball and has not translated into more game situations because she is timid. Very common at that age. Wanting to help your child with something she is struggling with is fine. Her strength is technical ability and her aggression/timidness is a weakness. That's ok, we all have strengths and weaknesses and should work on both.

There are drills to help, but ultimately it will be up to her. My caution would be, and it sounds like you are doing fine, is do not pressurize the timidness because then she will become anxious too, if not already. At 8 it should be about having fun and trying to develop over time. Have an open discussion with your child. Why are they timid? There are tons of reason that manifest into "not being aggressive" Is it a confidence issue (don't think they are good/scared to mess up)? fear (afraid of getting hurt)? comfort in games (lack of game reps/experience/training)? Once you know that you can address, but make sure they are open to addressing. If not, then just let it play out as pushing will only make it worse. She is 8 and no reason to push too hard right now, if ever.

You can start working on 50/50 balls by holding onto the ball with you foot on top and have her come take it away/win the ball. Let her win the first few for confidence and then progressively get harder by keeping your foot on the ball with more force and moving around. Then put the ball 3 feet in front of you and have her come get it while you go in as well. Same thing. Start off easy for confidence and then progress in difficulty. Then move to 6 feet. Obviously you are limited in how hard you can go, but it's a great drill with a peer/neighborhood friend. Once she gets comfortable you can line up and roll a ball out between two people, first one to gain possession and pass back to starting spot wins.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh...OP, I get what you are asking. Unfortunately you can't ask a question without your parenting being criticized. You have a child who has exhibited some technical skill with the ball and has not translated into more game situations because she is timid. Very common at that age. Wanting to help your child with something she is struggling with is fine. Her strength is technical ability and her aggression/timidness is a weakness. That's ok, we all have strengths and weaknesses and should work on both.

There are drills to help, but ultimately it will be up to her. My caution would be, and it sounds like you are doing fine, is do not pressurize the timidness because then she will become anxious too, if not already. At 8 it should be about having fun and trying to develop over time. Have an open discussion with your child. Why are they timid? There are tons of reason that manifest into "not being aggressive" Is it a confidence issue (don't think they are good/scared to mess up)? fear (afraid of getting hurt)? comfort in games (lack of game reps/experience/training)? Once you know that you can address, but make sure they are open to addressing. If not, then just let it play out as pushing will only make it worse. She is 8 and no reason to push too hard right now, if ever.

You can start working on 50/50 balls by holding onto the ball with you foot on top and have her come take it away/win the ball. Let her win the first few for confidence and then progressively get harder by keeping your foot on the ball with more force and moving around. Then put the ball 3 feet in front of you and have her come get it while you go in as well. Same thing. Start off easy for confidence and then progress in difficulty. Then move to 6 feet. Obviously you are limited in how hard you can go, but it's a great drill with a peer/neighborhood friend. Once she gets comfortable you can line up and roll a ball out between two people, first one to gain possession and pass back to starting spot wins.

Good luck!

Great drill and advice there. This is a simple very effective way to get started. Maybe eventually add in some shoulder contact drills just like the PP said start slow let her build confidence pushing you off the ball.

[Anonymous]

You can start working on 50/50 balls by holding onto the ball with you foot on top and have her come take it away/win the ball. Let her win the first few for confidence and then progressively get harder by keeping your foot on the ball with more force and moving around. Then put the ball 3 feet in front of you and have her come get it while you go in as well. Same thing. Start off easy for confidence and then progress in difficulty. Then move to 6 feet. Obviously you are limited in how hard you can go, but it's a great drill with a peer/neighborhood friend. Once she gets comfortable you can line up and roll a ball out between two people, first one to gain possession and pass back to starting spot wins.

Oh, good drill. Will try it with my son.