S/O men would you marry a physician?

[Anonymous]

I ask because my classmates in Med school have difficulty dating men. One guy broke up with my friend because his grandma was worried she’d make more than him (true story). Seems like being a physician isn’t very attractive to men who aren’t doctors themselves.

[Anonymous]

About 80% of physicians are married, according to a recent online survey, and these doctors often marry other doctors or other health professionals.

One in four women physicians are married to doctors.
https://www.ama-assn.org/residents-students/resident-student-health/why-doctors-marry-doctors-exploring-medical-marriages

[Anonymous]

Guy here. The only issue I would have marrying a Physician is the hours they may be required to work. I have a job where I work 40 hrs / week, making decent money (200K/yr). I have no problem being with someone who makes more than me (400K /yr is starting to get to decent money).

But, if she is working 70-80 hours per week, she will be too tired for a life outside of work.

[Anonymous]

My physician DS is dating another physician. They met in medical school and will probably get married.

[Anonymous]

Yes, absolutely. I’m not a physician, but am a high earner, and would be fine if my DW outearned me. As it is, there have been times when my DW has.

I also agree about lots of dual MD households.

[Anonymous]

Have a friend who divorced his doc wife because she kept doing residency and fellowships while borrowing enormous debt

[Anonymous]

Woman here - I think it’s hard to blanketly say woman physician because there are some, like my neighbor, that work 3 days a week as a pediatrician, and others who are emergency room docs, like my best friend, that work overnight shifts and constantly switching between days and nights, and others like surgeons that work very very long hours. I think most men are fine with the first but how many are okay with the second or third scenario which means the husband must be the primary parent..... be available if kid is sick and has to stay home from school, take dog to vet appointment, not travel much for work, be home when kids get home from school and take them to sports practices. In my experience it is uncommon for men to be willing to take this ok regularly.

I am not a doctor but I am in a very senior role at a company and have had to have big conversations with my husband as I’ve taken on increasing responsibility because it means more of the things that traditionally fall on a woman will fall on him. He’s generally okay with it but it involves a lot of stress on me because he forgets things so I have to make sure appointments are made, activity fees are paid, etc. I am hopeful culture is slowing changing but I still think it’s tough for a woman to have a career that requires significant hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. The only issue I would have marrying a Physician is the hours they may be required to work. I have a job where I work 40 hrs / week, making decent money (200K/yr). I have no problem being with someone who makes more than me (400K /yr is starting to get to decent money).

But, if she is working 70-80 hours per week, she will be too tired for a life outside of work.

Read: She'll be too tired to baby me and take on 70% of the household responsibilities and I would have to step up and be an equal partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. The only issue I would have marrying a Physician is the hours they may be required to work. I have a job where I work 40 hrs / week, making decent money (200K/yr). I have no problem being with someone who makes more than me (400K /yr is starting to get to decent money).

But, if she is working 70-80 hours per week, she will be too tired for a life outside of work.

Read: She'll be too tired to baby me and take on 70% of the household responsibilities and I would have to step up and be an equal partner.

Then you read it wrong.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the women, but I wouldn’t want to date someone constantly on call. I have an old co-worker who got her first free weekend this past month because the elective procedures were canceled due to Covid.

She’s at least 45!

Working holidays, on-call, depression that follows after Med school, huge debt, and not a very generous vacation schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. The only issue I would have marrying a Physician is the hours they may be required to work. I have a job where I work 40 hrs / week, making decent money (200K/yr). I have no problem being with someone who makes more than me (400K /yr is starting to get to decent money).

But, if she is working 70-80 hours per week, she will be too tired for a life outside of work.

Read: She'll be too tired to baby me and take on 70% of the household responsibilities and I would have to step up and be an equal partner.

Then you read it wrong.

No I read you accurately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask because my classmates in Med school have difficulty dating men. One guy broke up with my friend because his grandma was worried she’d make more than him (true story). Seems like being a physician isn’t very attractive to men who aren’t doctors themselves.

The problem isn't your friend being a physician, the problem i she needs to do a better job vetting the men she date ie not man babies as in the example you gave. She needs to own her career and not apologize for it and make it into a negative for her dating life.

[Anonymous]

I'd give anyone a shot. These threads are so ridiculous. There are great people of all professions.

Here's a question for you. Do you care what someone thinks if they are enough of a jerk to screen you based on your profession?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. The only issue I would have marrying a Physician is the hours they may be required to work. I have a job where I work 40 hrs / week, making decent money (200K/yr). I have no problem being with someone who makes more than me (400K /yr is starting to get to decent money).

But, if she is working 70-80 hours per week, she will be too tired for a life outside of work.

I don't think anyone mentioned this in the nursing thread. Which is interesting because I know many nursed that work 70 hour weeks. Nurses were okay because they are seen as smart enough and sexy, Most importantly caring ans nurturing, and will cater to the man.


These threads are so silly, if you want a guy be attractive and cater to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. The only issue I would have marrying a Physician is the hours they may be required to work. I have a job where I work 40 hrs / week, making decent money (200K/yr). I have no problem being with someone who makes more than me (400K /yr is starting to get to decent money).

But, if she is working 70-80 hours per week, she will be too tired for a life outside of work.

I don't think anyone mentioned this in the nursing thread. Which is interesting because I know many nursed that work 70 hour weeks. Nurses were okay because they are seen as smart enough and sexy, Most importantly caring ans nurturing, and will cater to the man.


These threads are so silly, if you want a guy be attractive and cater to him.

Nurses don't have to work 70 hrs/week. Nurses don't have to take call. Nurses don't have to come in suddenly in their day off because the patient they had yesterday isn't doing well. Nurses don't have obligations to their work or patients beyond the hourly work they do. Some drs work shift work too, but many don't and often have unpredictable schedules and have to come in on off days, stay late/early, answers calls in the middle of the night, go in emergently...they are responsible for people in a longer term way that is not comparable to what a nurse does or their schedule.

There is also a big different in the schedules of different types of physicians. A dermatologist has a very different work life than a general surgeon.