S/O men would you marry a physician?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here I find it interesting that men pick woman based on what they think woman can do for them. While male physicians are seen as attractive to woman because of the high salaries, female physician are unattractive to men because of long hours that make the profession too all consuming to allow for the husband to feel nurtured, cared for and to do sick days for future kids.

This dating/marriage in a nutshell. Marriage is only beneficial to a woman if it improves her financial situation. As was brought out in the recent SAHM thread men and women are raised with the idea that women are to do the heavy lifting of the household, even if they work it's the expectation.

I’m amused that people so bothered by 1950s roles will turn around and boil things down to another stereotype. People are more complex than the convenient generalization you claim was agreed to on another thread.

[Anonymous]

I’m a female physician, and, in my experience, it depends on how attractive you are. Attractive women still find dates even if some men are turned off by the fact that you are in med school/residency. Unattractive female physicians have a lot of trouble finding anyone.

This is probably true everywhere, but I think it’s particularly frustrating as a physician because physical attractiveness doesn’t seem to matter at all for your male counterparts.

I just went to a grand rounds a few months ago where women were talking about freezing their eggs because of the difficulty of finding a partner.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are both doctors and it’s worked out fine. We generally have pretty decent schedules not unlike other professional couples which means it’s not easy but it’s workable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask because my classmates in Med school have difficulty dating men. One guy broke up with my friend because his grandma was worried she’d make more than him (true story). Seems like being a physician isn’t very attractive to men who aren’t doctors themselves.

I know a female doctor who has had this experience. Men are idiots.

I fell in love with my physician wife when we were seniors in college. I knew she wanted to pursue medicine but that had little to do with it. I suppose the fact that she was organized and ambitious is part of what drew me to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a female physician, and, in my experience, it depends on how attractive you are. Attractive women still find dates even if some men are turned off by the fact that you are in med school/residency. Unattractive female physicians have a lot of trouble finding anyone.

This is probably true everywhere, but I think it’s particularly frustrating as a physician because physical attractiveness doesn’t seem to matter at all for your male counterparts.

I just went to a grand rounds a few months ago where women were talking about freezing their eggs because of the difficulty of finding a partner.

+1 This is my experience as well.
My colleagues and I used to joke it was the 'white coat magic' - only for male physicians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here I find it interesting that men pick woman based on what they think woman can do for them. While male physicians are seen as attractive to woman because of the high salaries, female physician are unattractive to men because of long hours that make the profession too all consuming to allow for the husband to feel nurtured, cared for and to do sick days for future kids.

Do you... seriously think women do not pick men based on what they think the man can do for them? 😂😂😂😂😂

Come on, that is the classic female mate-selection strategy for thousands of years - pick the best resource-provider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are both doctors and it’s worked out fine. We generally have pretty decent schedules not unlike other professional couples which means it’s not easy but it’s workable.

It seems to work best for doctor doctor couples

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a female physician, and, in my experience, it depends on how attractive you are. Attractive women still find dates even if some men are turned off by the fact that you are in med school/residency. Unattractive female physicians have a lot of trouble finding anyone.

This is probably true everywhere, but I think it’s particularly frustrating as a physician because physical attractiveness doesn’t seem to matter at all for your male counterparts.

I just went to a grand rounds a few months ago where women were talking about freezing their eggs because of the difficulty of finding a partner.

+1 This is my experience as well.
My colleagues and I used to joke it was the 'white coat magic' - only for male physicians.

The obvious difference is that male doctors can reasonably expect to find a woman willing to be a SAHM, but a female doctor cannot reasonably expect to find a man willing to be a SAHD. And if she did find such a guy, she probably wouldn’t respect him or be attracted to him anyway.

[Anonymous]

My sisters are both doctors. When they were in med school, they complained that many of their male classmates seem to prefer dating physical therapists and physicians assistants rather than doctors or medical students. However, they both wound up marrying doctors.

I think a lot of the comments on this thread about work life balance for doctors are flawed. Residency and fellowship is rough. But after that, doctors often can have very good hours in exchange for very good pay. It depends on the specialty and individual decisions. One of my siblings works three days a week and makes 140 K a year. That’s pretty good for 24 hours a week of work. Of the four doctors in my family, they all have good hours. Much much better than many professions like banking or law or consulting

[Anonymous]

I just posted about hours of doctors. Submitted to you soon. Wanted to also add that once during a physical therapy session I chatted with the female physical therapist in the room about my sisters and their friends opinions about doctors wanting to date physical therapist instead. They responded that they had not experienced that but also noted that a lot of their hours were in the evening when they would rather be spending time with their family. Many physical therapists work nonbusiness hours because they know their clients are working during business hours.

Having said all this, I actually do not seek out doctors to date. I think that medical training can do bad things to peoples personalities and ability to empathize. It can also give people a bit of an ego or God complex. I am not a fan of being in relationships with doctors, male or female. I mean if I met a great guy who happen to be a doctor I would not turn him down simply on that basis, but I consider it a slight con rather than a huge pro.

[Anonymous]

I would be fine with it and I could definitely see a lot of positives that a dr. spouse would bring to the table, particularly generally having job security (COVID situation notwithstanding). Debt load might be a concern depending on specialty/pay but that's not a unique concern to doctors. I wouldn't marry anyone that regularly works 60+ hours per week regardless of profession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My sisters are both doctors. When they were in med school, they complained that many of their male classmates seem to prefer dating physical therapists and physicians assistants rather than doctors or medical students. However, they both wound up marrying doctors.

I think a lot of the comments on this thread about work life balance for doctors are flawed. Residency and fellowship is rough. But after that, doctors often can have very good hours in exchange for very good pay. It depends on the specialty and individual decisions. One of my siblings works three days a week and makes 140 K a year. That’s pretty good for 24 hours a week of work. Of the four doctors in my family, they all have good hours. Much much better than many professions like banking or law or consulting

What speciality is your sister?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be fine with it and I could definitely see a lot of positives that a dr. spouse would bring to the table, particularly generally having job security (COVID situation notwithstanding). Debt load might be a concern depending on specialty/pay but that's not a unique concern to doctors. I wouldn't marry anyone that regularly works 60+ hours per week regardless of profession.

This. I’m the poster with lots of doctors in my family. Their job security is phenomenal. I swear, they simply have a NO clue what it means to stress about having to find a job or build a career. To the point where they can lack empathy about people in other professions. One of my siblings was dogging on a cousin of ours for a time he lost his job years before. He was laid off during an economic downturn. I stuck up for him, pointing out layoffs were common during this time. Sibling scoffed, “people who work hard and are good at their jobs don’t get laid off.” Simply no clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be fine with it and I could definitely see a lot of positives that a dr. spouse would bring to the table, particularly generally having job security (COVID situation notwithstanding). Debt load might be a concern depending on specialty/pay but that's not a unique concern to doctors. I wouldn't marry anyone that regularly works 60+ hours per week regardless of profession.

This. I’m the poster with lots of doctors in my family. Their job security is phenomenal. I swear, they simply have a NO clue what it means to stress about having to find a job or build a career. To the point where they can lack empathy about people in other professions. One of my siblings was dogging on a cousin of ours for a time he lost his job years before. He was laid off during an economic downturn. I stuck up for him, pointing out layoffs were common during this time. Sibling scoffed, “people who work hard and are good at their jobs don’t get laid off.” Simply no clue.

Your siblings must not be in high paying specialties. Specialty drs that are at the high end of pay scales don't have great job security. Finding another job is hard and could take a year plus. Finding a new job usually means a large pay cut too as the compensation is geared toward someone recently out of fellowship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be fine with it and I could definitely see a lot of positives that a dr. spouse would bring to the table, particularly generally having job security (COVID situation notwithstanding). Debt load might be a concern depending on specialty/pay but that's not a unique concern to doctors. I wouldn't marry anyone that regularly works 60+ hours per week regardless of profession.

This. I’m the poster with lots of doctors in my family. Their job security is phenomenal. I swear, they simply have a NO clue what it means to stress about having to find a job or build a career. To the point where they can lack empathy about people in other professions. One of my siblings was dogging on a cousin of ours for a time he lost his job years before. He was laid off during an economic downturn. I stuck up for him, pointing out layoffs were common during this time. Sibling scoffed, “people who work hard and are good at their jobs don’t get laid off.” Simply no clue.

Your siblings must not be in high paying specialties. Specialty drs that are at the high end of pay scales don't have great job security. Finding another job is hard and could take a year plus. Finding a new job usually means a large pay cut too as the compensation is geared toward someone recently out of fellowship.

The physician unemployment rate is .7% ... so they def have great job security