S/O men would you marry a physician?

[Anonymous]

Op here I find it interesting that men pick woman based on what they think woman can do for them. While male physicians are seen as attractive to woman because of the high salaries, female physician are unattractive to men because of long hours that make the profession too all consuming to allow for the husband to feel nurtured, cared for and to do sick days for future kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. The only issue I would have marrying a Physician is the hours they may be required to work. I have a job where I work 40 hrs / week, making decent money (200K/yr). I have no problem being with someone who makes more than me (400K /yr is starting to get to decent money).

But, if she is working 70-80 hours per week, she will be too tired for a life outside of work.

I don't think anyone mentioned this in the nursing thread. Which is interesting because I know many nursed that work 70 hour weeks. Nurses were okay because they are seen as smart enough and sexy, Most importantly caring ans nurturing, and will cater to the man.


These threads are so silly, if you want a guy be attractive and cater to him.

Nurses don't have to work 70 hrs/week. Nurses don't have to take call. Nurses don't have to come in suddenly in their day off because the patient they had yesterday isn't doing well. Nurses don't have obligations to their work or patients beyond the hourly work they do. Some drs work shift work too, but many don't and often have unpredictable schedules and have to come in on off days, stay late/early, answers calls in the middle of the night, go in emergently...they are responsible for people in a longer term way that is not comparable to what a nurse does or their schedule.

There is also a big different in the schedules of different types of physicians. A dermatologist has a very different work life than a general surgeon.

There are nurse who do have to work 70 hr weeks. There are nurses who take call, in fact many are taking call for the doctors. Not all doctors are up in the middle of the night answering questions, or are responsible for longer term care, in fact most don

Bottom line is you prefer nurses because in your misogynistic and clueless thinking they better fit your needs.

[Anonymous]

My husband is a physician in a female-dominated specialty. Most of his female colleagues with kids are part-time. Those that have risen up into senior leadership positions tend to be single/no kids. A couple women still work FT and have risen up, but usually have help (e.g., a nanny/au pair).

I'd say most are married to other physicians, although there is one with a SAHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here I find it interesting that men pick woman based on what they think woman can do for them. While male physicians are seen as attractive to woman because of the high salaries, female physician are unattractive to men because of long hours that make the profession too all consuming to allow for the husband to feel nurtured, cared for and to do sick days for future kids.

This dating/marriage in a nutshell. Marriage is only beneficial to a woman if it improves her financial situation. As was brought out in the recent SAHM thread men and women are raised with the idea that women are to do the heavy lifting of the household, even if they work it's the expectation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a physician in a female-dominated specialty. Most of his female colleagues with kids are part-time. Those that have risen up into senior leadership positions tend to be single/no kids. A couple women still work FT and have risen up, but usually have help (e.g., a nanny/au pair).

I'd say most are married to other physicians, although there is one with a SAHD.

This highlights the point that most men are not going to sacrifice their careers for women, and they are less likely to marry a woman who they perceive won't be willing to sacrifice her career. In short, most men really don't want to marry their equals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. The only issue I would have marrying a Physician is the hours they may be required to work. I have a job where I work 40 hrs / week, [/b]making decent money (200K/yr). I have no problem being with someone who makes more than me ([b]400K /yr is starting to get to decent money).

But, if she is working 70-80 hours per week, she will be too tired for a life outside of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a physician in a female-dominated specialty. Most of his female colleagues with kids are part-time. Those that have risen up into senior leadership positions tend to be single/no kids. A couple women still work FT and have risen up, but usually have help (e.g., a nanny/au pair).

I'd say most are married to other physicians, although there is one with a SAHD.

This highlights the point that most men are not going to sacrifice their careers for women, and they are less likely to marry a woman who they perceive won't be willing to sacrifice her career. In short, most men really don't want to marry their equals.

Or, women with kids want to some extent to stay home and raise the kids. You didn’t exclude that possibility, you ran right to “men are bad” as your explanation for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a physician in a female-dominated specialty. Most of his female colleagues with kids are part-time. Those that have risen up into senior leadership positions tend to be single/no kids. A couple women still work FT and have risen up, but usually have help (e.g., a nanny/au pair).

I'd say most are married to other physicians, although there is one with a SAHD.

This highlights the point that most men are not going to sacrifice their careers for women, and they are less likely to marry a woman who they perceive won't be willing to sacrifice her career. In short, most men really don't want to marry their equals.

If you want children, who is going to raise them needs to be considered. Two people with high demand careers that want children need to hire out full time childcare. Two people with lower wage jobs that can’t afford for either to stay home have to hire out full time childcare. Many women don’t want an “equal” either for that reason. They want a man that makes a lot more than them so they can stay home with children for a period of time. There isn’t anything wrong with hiring out childcare if you need to, but let’s not pretend men are the only ones that don’t want an equal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a physician in a female-dominated specialty. Most of his female colleagues with kids are part-time. Those that have risen up into senior leadership positions tend to be single/no kids. A couple women still work FT and have risen up, but usually have help (e.g., a nanny/au pair).

I'd say most are married to other physicians, although there is one with a SAHD.

This highlights the point that most men are not going to sacrifice their careers for women, and they are less likely to marry a woman who they perceive won't be willing to sacrifice her career. In short, most men really don't want to marry their equals.

Or, women with kids want to some extent to stay home and raise the kids. You didn’t exclude that possibility, you ran right to “men are bad” as your explanation for everything.

But your reply has nothing to do with the selction process for men. As shown multiple times in multiple threads. MEN go for women they think will have more time to do family/household stuff.

[Anonymous]

Would much rather marry a nurse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a friend who divorced his doc wife because she kept doing residency and fellowships while borrowing enormous debt

This makes zero sense. You get paid to do both. And you do a residency, maybe a fellowship, and a few rare doctors go on to do a super fellowship. Either you are confused or lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have a friend who divorced his doc wife because she kept doing residency and fellowships while borrowing enormous debt

This makes zero sense. You get paid to do both. And you do a residency, maybe a fellowship, and a few rare doctors go on to do a super fellowship. Either you are confused or lying.

Physician here. You do get paid for both, but not a lot. Maybe 10-20% of what you will make when you finish. It’s also VERY easy to take out loans, even lifestyle loans, as a resident/fellow. You are almost certainly going to pay them back.

So, she could continue to do fellowship after fellowship making $50k/yr and taking out another $30k in loans and racking up credit card debt.

This has nothing to do with being a doctor though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have a friend who divorced his doc wife because she kept doing residency and fellowships while borrowing enormous debt

This makes zero sense. You get paid to do both. And you do a residency, maybe a fellowship, and a few rare doctors go on to do a super fellowship. Either you are confused or lying.

Yeah, I caught that too. You do get paid for residency and fellowship but it's generally no more than about $50,000. You also don't do multiple residencies. So yes debt can be acquired rapidly while in school, but that's typically understood when you undertake medical training. I suspect there's much missing from this story, which is to be expected as it's secondhand information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a physician in a female-dominated specialty. Most of his female colleagues with kids are part-time. Those that have risen up into senior leadership positions tend to be single/no kids. A couple women still work FT and have risen up, but usually have help (e.g., a nanny/au pair).

I'd say most are married to other physicians, although there is one with a SAHD.

This highlights the point that most men are not going to sacrifice their careers for women, and they are less likely to marry a woman who they perceive won't be willing to sacrifice her career. In short, most men really don't want to marry their equals.

If you want children, who is going to raise them needs to be considered. Two people with high demand careers that want children need to hire out full time childcare. Two people with lower wage jobs that can’t afford for either to stay home have to hire out full time childcare. Many women don’t want an “equal” either for that reason. They want a man that makes a lot more than them so they can stay home with children for a period of time. There isn’t anything wrong with hiring out childcare if you need to, but let’s not pretend men are the only ones that don’t want an equal.

Why can’t the man do childcare ?

[Anonymous]

Some can do the child care. Find one of those.