Men: Do You Care If Your Wife Makes Less Than You?

[Anonymous]

Is it a big deal if your wife makes less than you? Do you expect her to take on more household responsibilities because of it?

[Anonymous]

Don't care at all. DW and I have very different jobs and salaries. We split the responsibilities fairly well.

[Anonymous]

Things that men don't care about. If they did, women would be making more on the dollar to men.

[Anonymous]

I don’t care if she makes less than me but if she worked full time and her take home pay didn’t cover child care costs and her cost of working I’d question her motivation. But if she had a real passion for her work, especially if it benefited others, I’d be supportive. But most work is just work. But one spouse will always make less than the other and that’s just life.

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman but my husband doesn’t care. I make $80k/year and he is an MD making $450k/year. We have 2 young kids ( 2.5 and 3 months old) and I do most of the day-to-day childcare and manage the household. He takes care of most of the finances but I manage everything else - cleaning, cooking, groceries, etc. He is very involved when our kids and helps out with cooking and cleaning, but I do most of it. Not to sound too 1950’s housewife but I love it. I enjoy being needed and taking care of my family. I find it more fulfilling than my career.

[Anonymous]

I don’t care that my wife makes less than me. I work 50-55 hours a week and she works 35 hours with almost no commute so she does more at home than I do. I think that’s fair as I do a good amount.

[Anonymous]

I’ve asked my husband this because I don’t make a lot of money (80k). He doesn’t care. He knows I like my job.

[Anonymous]

My wife makes $0, don't care.

I actually still do a lot around the house (cooking, cleaning, putting kids to bed, chores). But she definitely runs point. We have three little ones so it's all hands on deck.

We save on childcare, eating out, maid, lawn, commuting costs (work from home), not fancy vacations so still save a lot.

[Anonymous]

I’m the wife, but I don’t think my husband cares. He makes $220K; I make $116K. My job has much shorter hours than his, so I do more of the childcare than he does.

It’s a fine split.

[Anonymous]

This seems like some weird role reversal question, b/c you know women hate when husbands make less than them. It’s totally caustic to relationship, and make those $300k earners have a tiny pool to date from.

[Anonymous]

I think the bigger question is if men care about their wive’s salary level at all. Because I have never met a man put his wife’s career on a pedestal. Occasionally, I know men that are specifically looking for fellow ambitious women, but it’s a rarity.

[Anonymous]

Oh wow. I am TOTALLY SHOCKED at the answers. This is EXACTLY DIFFERENT from how people answered in the last 364 questions about this.

Look, OP: Guys don't care about how much money you make. They are generally fine with you being a nurse, or a nanny, or a cosmetologist or beautician. You know this.

You also know that they are NOT generally okay if you are excessively needy, socially awkward, sexually very inexperienced at a later stage in life (not all, but we discussed how this can sometimes be a red flag), fat, unable to share in their interests at all, or start 364 thread with the title "Men: ..." (They hate that last one. Red flags all over it.)

[Anonymous]

DW made 25% of what I did throughout our careers. We split household expenses proportionally, no big deal. I had more so I contributed more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. I am TOTALLY SHOCKED at the answers. This is EXACTLY DIFFERENT from how people answered in the last 364 questions about this.

Look, OP: Guys don't care about how much money you make. They are generally fine with you being a nurse, or a nanny, or a cosmetologist or beautician. You know this.

You also know that they are NOT generally okay if you are excessively needy, socially awkward, sexually very inexperienced at a later stage in life (not all, but we discussed how this can sometimes be a red flag), fat, unable to share in their interests at all, or start 364 thread with the title "Men: ..." (They hate that last one. Red flags all over it.)

Eh, I know men that would marry a nurse, but not the other three professions. I don’t know anyone college educated married to someone non college educated. They want their future kids to be well educated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman but my husband doesn’t care. I make $80k/year and he is an MD making $450k/year. We have 2 young kids ( 2.5 and 3 months old) and I do most of the day-to-day childcare and manage the household. He takes care of most of the finances but I manage everything else - cleaning, cooking, groceries, etc. He is very involved when our kids and helps out with cooking and cleaning, but I do most of it. Not to sound too 1950’s housewife but I love it. I enjoy being needed and taking care of my family. I find it more fulfilling than my career.

There is nothing wrong with that.