Men: Do You Care If Your Wife Makes Less Than You?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are just so weird to me, seriously juvenile in the vein of " do boys like girls with glasses?" I guess I don't have the DC mindset.

I think there are a handful of "do men like it when [nonsense post here]" posters and a handful of "is it lower middle class to like [thing that many people like]" posters. I hope they all marry each other.

That would be grand!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems like some weird role reversal question, b/c you know women hate when husbands make less than them. It’s totally caustic to relationship, and make those $300k earners have a tiny pool to date from.

Woman who makes roughly triple her DH here: no, I don't hate it. We both make good money, and it goes to the family. There's no "caustic" relationship nonsense, probably because he doesn't overcompensate by throwing his weight around and leaning into BS gender stereotypes. You should try it!

I’m guessing you probably have a HHI of $600k and have a household manager and nanny?

Nope, $450ish and a live-in grandma. But I do agree with your implication that the real reason there's no resentment is because I'm not expected to do every single thing around the house and with parenting. He cooks more than I do, we both clean, we both parent. That's what I was hinting at with not overcompensating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the bigger question is if men care about their wive’s salary level at all. Because I have never met a man put his wife’s career on a pedestal. Occasionally, I know men that are specifically looking for fellow ambitious women, but it’s a rarity.

Some men put the career of their spouse in high regard. DH brags about my career all the time (reserve military officer). He’s very supportive and jokes he can’t wait until I’m a general. My civilian salary is more than his as well. He’d be really disappointed if I decided to be a SAHM and our household income plummeted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care that my wife makes less than me. I work 50-55 hours a week and she works 35 hours with almost no commute so she does more at home than I do. I think that’s fair as I do a good amount.

So...you do care, and you do expect her to take on more household responsibilities because of it.

[Anonymous]

I make 185k/yr. there were a few years my spouse was making $450-500k/year. He turned into an a-hole during those years. Acted entitled, d@ck at home, etc. He went back to a W2 worker vs independent and gained more time at home, made less $300k-350K. He came out of his self-absorption and saw the sacrifices he was making and time he was missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the bigger question is if men care about their wive’s salary level at all. Because I have never met a man put his wife’s career on a pedestal. Occasionally, I know men that are specifically looking for fellow ambitious women, but it’s a rarity.

Some men put the career of their spouse in high regard. DH brags about my career all the time (reserve military officer). He’s very supportive and jokes he can’t wait until I’m a general. My civilian salary is more than his as well. He’d be really disappointed if I decided to be a SAHM and our household income plummeted.

My husband also brags about my job. I’m a scientist in a STEM field, make a good salary. He’s proud of it.

[Anonymous]

Why yes, OP, all men think the exact same way and black and white is really useful. 🥺

I mean, are 12 or just have an IQ below 80?

[Anonymous]

My dh cares and wants me to change jobs for a more demanding higher paying one. We have 2 kids and i do most of the work. I told him I’d make a change but he needs to fully understand what that means for him. FWIW he already makes about 6-7 times than I do and I’m in low six fig. He thinks all the financial burden is gonna fall on him even though we live so modestly. It’s very frustrating.

[Anonymous]

Usually, it’s the other way around and men get bothered if their wives make more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are just so weird to me, seriously juvenile in the vein of " do boys like girls with glasses?" I guess I don't have the DC mindset.

I think there are a handful of "do men like it when [nonsense post here]" posters and a handful of "is it lower middle class to like [thing that many people like]" posters. I hope they all marry each other.

Yeah.

Men: Do You Like This One Aspect of Me, Which I Focus On Because I Am Likely To Get The Answers I Want? Yes or No?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why yes, OP, all men think the exact same way and black and white is really useful. 🥺

I mean, are 12 or just have an IQ below 80?

Needy and insecure. Validation hits here are easier than the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems like some weird role reversal question, b/c you know women hate when husbands make less than them. It’s totally caustic to relationship, and make those $300k earners have a tiny pool to date from.

Woman who makes roughly triple her DH here: no, I don't hate it. We both make good money, and it goes to the family. There's no "caustic" relationship nonsense, probably because he doesn't overcompensate by throwing his weight around and leaning into BS gender stereotypes. You should try it!

I’m guessing you probably have a HHI of $600k and have a household manager and nanny?

Nope, $450ish and a live-in grandma. But I do agree with your implication that the real reason there's no resentment is because I'm not expected to do every single thing around the house and with parenting. He cooks more than I do, we both clean, we both parent. That's what I was hinting at with not overcompensating.

A live in ‘nanny’ is worth about $100k pre-tax dollars so you basically have $550k income albeit $100k provides by family in service rather than cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it a big deal if your wife makes less than you? Do you expect her to take on more household responsibilities because of it?

I make less than my husband but we work the same amount of hours in our careers. Why do you think I should pick up more of the drudgery of housework and do more laundry and dishes just because I went into a less lucrative field than him? Wtf. How patriarchal of you!

[Anonymous]

My DH says he doesn’t care how much (little?) I make but....he does care. He makes a lot of mean “jokes” about it, which I know are his real feelings.

But he also doesn’t want me to have a career that will impact his very demanding career. Which rules out most high-paying jobs.

If someone know where these mythical 6 figure/20 hour a week jobs are that he believes exist are, please let me know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems like some weird role reversal question, b/c you know women hate when husbands make less than them. It’s totally caustic to relationship, and make those $300k earners have a tiny pool to date from.

Untrue. Up until recently I outearned my husband. When we met he was a student barely making ends meet and I was a homeowner already. This was 15 years ago. Needless to say, I did not “hate” it.