5 yo biting his sister - at wit's end

[Anonymous]

DS, who will be 6 in Nov, is generally speaking a super sweet kid. Well behaved at school, lots of friends, full of hugs and love. EXCEPT. For the past 2-3 months, every time he and DD (8) get into it - which is at least once a day, because let's be honest, they have spent an absurd amount of time together - he bites her. Never bitten another soul. And he bites her HARD.

We have tried what feels like everything to get him to stop - strategies for what to do instead when he's mad at her (bite a pillow! breathing ball! come find me!), positive reinforcement for days without biting, and even taking away beloved toys and enforcing extra chores when he bites.

And it just doesn't stop. I have cut my kids a fair amount of slack this year with everything, but this is not acceptable - and I seriously am out of ideas. I need my little predator to quit chomping on his sister!! Help!!

[Anonymous]

What is her response when he does it? If the answer isn’t she slaps the dog sh!t out of him, it is now.

[Anonymous]

Tell him next time he bites her you will put soap in his mouth. Then do it. You will feel like an abusive parent for all of 5 mins. Then when he never bites her again you will know you did the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Read the kazdin method (evidence based sustained behavior change through positive reinforcement).

No soap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is her response when he does it? If the answer isn’t she slaps the dog sh!t out of him, it is now.

Ha, I only read the title of the thread and "let her bite back" was my first thought.

[Anonymous]

Breathing ball?? He's SIX and he's repeatedly biting hard? Yell and send him to his room for 30 minutes. And he's basically grounded for at least 48 hours. No TV, no video games, no screens except for school work.

I would not stomach physical violence from a kid that age.

[Anonymous]

At nearly six, this isn’t impulse control. His desire to hurt her is greater than your consequences. Warn him immediately that if he bites or hurts her again, there will be no screens for a week - and stick with it. When he hears her watching TV or playing on iPad, remind him why he can’t. Don’t give it.

You’ve been too lax, OP. What he’s doing is not okay or age appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read the kazdin method (evidence based sustained behavior change through positive reinforcement).

No soap.

No soap but no “method” either. This is angry violence against a sibling. Swift and deep/meaningful consequences like no screens at all for at least three days. The consequences have to “hurt” to be impactful.

And the sibling bitten gets extra tv, tablet and treats for her injury.

[Anonymous]

Next time he bites her, tell her to bite him back. HARD. He will learn if not from his sibling than the wrong person he bites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: This is angry violence against a sibling. Swift and deep/meaningful consequences like no screens at all for at least three days. The consequences have to “hurt” to be impactful.

And the sibling bitten gets extra tv, tablet and treats for her injury.

You bite your sister? She gets a bowl of ice cream. With sprinkles.

[Anonymous]

He earns his freedom. Direct supervision of him at all times. Prevent it from happening in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Breathing ball?? He's SIX and he's repeatedly biting hard? Yell and send him to his room for 30 minutes. And he's basically grounded for at least 48 hours. No TV, no video games, no screens except for school work.

I would not stomach physical violence from a kid that age.

+1

[Anonymous]

I would do the soap AND I would do the Kazdin method. You need to protect your daughter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: This is angry violence against a sibling. Swift and deep/meaningful consequences like no screens at all for at least three days. The consequences have to “hurt” to be impactful.

And the sibling bitten gets extra tv, tablet and treats for her injury.

You bite your sister? She gets a bowl of ice cream. With sprinkles.

+1

When DS was a toddler biter, ped said to lavish all the attention on the victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next time he bites her, tell her to bite him back. HARD. He will learn if not from his sibling than the wrong person he bites.

+1 I couldn't get DD2 to stop pinching DD1...until DD1 pinched back. It never happened again.