5 yo biting his sister - at wit's end

[Anonymous]

Yea, I’d unleash her to defend herself and also come down super hard on him. By this age it’s a choice on his part. You have to up the consequences big time. Find his currency and use that. No screens, no tv, no pool, no desert, whatever it is that he cares about the most, take that away.

[Anonymous]

Whoops, dessert not desert above. I’m tired, lol.

[Anonymous]

Meh. When my son wouldn’t stop hitting his sister, I told her to hit back!

Funny how quickly that put an end to the behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He earns his freedom. Direct supervision of him at all times. Prevent it from happening in the first place.

I did this for one of my kids. Arms length until I could trust him. He slept on the floor beside my bed. I waited outside of the bathroom for him and didn't let him close the door all the way. And, I did things like clean the house and every chore I could think of. I gave no specific time frame so he had no idea when it would end. I kept it up for a few days. 100% extinguished the behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He earns his freedom. Direct supervision of him at all times. Prevent it from happening in the first place.

I did this for one of my kids. Arms length until I could trust him. He slept on the floor beside my bed. I waited outside of the bathroom for him and didn't let him close the door all the way. And, I did things like clean the house and every chore I could think of. I gave no specific time frame so he had no idea when it would end. I kept it up for a few days. 100% extinguished the behavior.

or you could put soap in his mouth and be done in 5 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He earns his freedom. Direct supervision of him at all times. Prevent it from happening in the first place.

I did this for one of my kids. Arms length until I could trust him. He slept on the floor beside my bed. I waited outside of the bathroom for him and didn't let him close the door all the way. And, I did things like clean the house and every chore I could think of. I gave no specific time frame so he had no idea when it would end. I kept it up for a few days. 100% extinguished the behavior.

or you could put soap in his mouth and be done in 5 minutes.

It is child abuse to physically force something nonedible, that you know to be harmful in your child's mouth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He earns his freedom. Direct supervision of him at all times. Prevent it from happening in the first place.

I did this for one of my kids. Arms length until I could trust him. He slept on the floor beside my bed. I waited outside of the bathroom for him and didn't let him close the door all the way. And, I did things like clean the house and every chore I could think of. I gave no specific time frame so he had no idea when it would end. I kept it up for a few days. 100% extinguished the behavior.

or you could put soap in his mouth and be done in 5 minutes.

It is child abuse to physically force something nonedible, that you know to be harmful in your child's mouth.

Use an organic, non toxic soap. Better than a spanking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS, who will be 6 in Nov, is generally speaking a super sweet kid. Well behaved at school, lots of friends, full of hugs and love. EXCEPT. For the past 2-3 months, every time he and DD (8) get into it - which is at least once a day, because let's be honest, they have spent an absurd amount of time together - he bites her. Never bitten another soul. And he bites her HARD.

We have tried what feels like everything to get him to stop - strategies for what to do instead when he's mad at her (bite a pillow! breathing ball! come find me!), positive reinforcement for days without biting, and even taking away beloved toys and enforcing extra chores when he bites.

And it just doesn't stop. I have cut my kids a fair amount of slack this year with everything, but this is not acceptable - and I seriously am out of ideas. I need my little predator to quit chomping on his sister!! Help!!

Have you tried having the sister hold his nose when he bites or tries to bite? I was a biter and that's what got me to stop.

[Anonymous]

Why haven't you taught your DD to protect herself, and fight back? If someone bit me I would smack them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her response when he does it? If the answer isn’t she slaps the dog sh!t out of him, it is now.

Ha, I only read the title of the thread and "let her bite back" was my first thought.

Nothing stopped my younger sister until I bit her. It’s such 80s advice, but it worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why haven't you taught your DD to protect herself, and fight back? If someone bit me I would smack them.

I am going to guess because she's the older sister, and has been taught the be kind/gentle to her younger brother because she is older and he doesn't know better. I was the older sister and that's the message I received regarding my younger sister.

She also may just be naturally less aggressive.

Regardless I hope she knows it's ok to stick up for herself, especially if she's physically attacked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS, who will be 6 in Nov, is generally speaking a super sweet kid. Well behaved at school, lots of friends, full of hugs and love. EXCEPT. For the past 2-3 months, every time he and DD (8) get into it - which is at least once a day, because let's be honest, they have spent an absurd amount of time together - he bites her. Never bitten another soul. And he bites her HARD.

We have tried what feels like everything to get him to stop - strategies for what to do instead when he's mad at her (bite a pillow! breathing ball! come find me!), positive reinforcement for days without biting, and even taking away beloved toys and enforcing extra chores when he bites.

And it just doesn't stop. I have cut my kids a fair amount of slack this year with everything, but this is not acceptable - and I seriously am out of ideas. I need my little predator to quit chomping on his sister!! Help!!

Maybe you'd like to try some actual discipline, in the forms that other PPs have suggested. You have let this go on too long.

[Anonymous]

I’m guessing your consequences are weak. Take away the iPad for a day? Who cares. It’s back tomorrow. He’s old enough to understand that this is NOT okay. I would lay it out for him before it happens again. Charlie—biting is not okay. It hurts your sister. If it happens again, you will lose ALL (non school related) screens for 2 weeks. And then stick to it!!!

[Anonymous]

This happened with my kids too. It really freaked me out that my daughter was not standing up for herself. We actually had a talk about if anybody hurts you like that you fight back! You scream! You get out of the situation as fast as you can but you do not hold back when it comes to defending yourself.

As for my son, the immediate consequence is that whatever they were fighting about automatically became 100% hers and he had zero rights to it. If they were fighting over Legos all the Legos in our house became hers. Then for as long as I could see a bite mark on her, every morning she got to go to his room and pick anything she wanted. I only had to do this one time and the mark took a few days to fade. Somehow he remembered not to be violent after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing your consequences are weak. Take away the iPad for a day? Who cares. It’s back tomorrow. He’s old enough to understand that this is NOT okay. I would lay it out for him before it happens again. Charlie—biting is not okay. It hurts your sister. If it happens again, you will lose ALL (non school related) screens for 2 weeks. And then stick to it!!!

Screens is a lame punishment. Most kids can easily find something they like doing just as much, screens are just the laziest option.