5 yo biting his sister - at wit's end

[Anonymous]

Pretty much all terrible advice. OP, talk to your pediatrician. This doesn’t sound developmentally appropriate. Advice from a professional should be in order.

[Anonymous]

Stop with the fluffy parenting and get serious. He goes to his room for an hour and loses electronics for two days except for school work.

[Anonymous]

When I was doing something similar at about five years old, I remember my dad said “enough, come here.” He turned me over his knee, pulled my pants down, and spanked me.

As a dad myself, I’ve done the same thing. It works.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a parent that uses physical punishment but on bite 4 or 5 I'd be defending her physically. Getting him off of her if it means throwing him to the ground, grabbing him by the neck, etc. I'd make it perfectly clear he's never to touch her again.

If you can't protect her you are failing as her parent and im not so sure that CPS wouldn't be getting involved. Especially if a teacher saw the bites on camera.

[Anonymous]

Bite him back hard. He will stop after a few times!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much all terrible advice. OP, talk to your pediatrician. This doesn’t sound developmentally appropriate. Advice from a professional should be in order.

A pediatician is not going to be very helpful about this, pediatricians don't know as much as we give them credit for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her response when he does it? If the answer isn’t she slaps the dog sh!t out of him, it is now.

Ha, I only read the title of the thread and "let her bite back" was my first thought.

Nothing stopped my younger sister until I bit her. It’s such 80s advice, but it worked.

Some things are time tested. As someone said, the consequences implemented are not great enough. I can guarantee if she wallops him one good time or bites him back he’ll stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bite him back hard. He will stop after a few times!

Said the abusive parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing your consequences are weak. Take away the iPad for a day? Who cares. It’s back tomorrow. He’s old enough to understand that this is NOT okay. I would lay it out for him before it happens again. Charlie—biting is not okay. It hurts your sister. If it happens again, you will lose ALL (non school related) screens for 2 weeks. And then stick to it!!!

Screens is a lame punishment. Most kids can easily find something they like doing just as much, screens are just the laziest option.

Well the Op can pick whatever currency is most important to a kid, it was an example. However, with one of my kids screens are hugely important and after some repeated bad behavior in school a few years ago, we did this and it worked. My son stopped.

Now if you did have a kid who is happy without screens, then bonus, they have some time without screens and maybe their behavior would
Improve because of that.

My point was...the kid kept doing it because the punishment wasn’t big enough. Even if something else was going on beneath the surface that is causing the behavior—you have to stop the kid from biting his sister hard, and that’s one way to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much all terrible advice. OP, talk to your pediatrician. This doesn’t sound developmentally appropriate. Advice from a professional should be in order.

Developmental educator here. Agree 100%. Repeated biting needs to be addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much all terrible advice. OP, talk to your pediatrician. This doesn’t sound developmentally appropriate. Advice from a professional should be in order.

Developmental educator here. Agree 100%. Repeated biting needs to be addressed.

Question for you then: what do you suspect the pediatrician will say based on a 15 minute consult in his/her office? What’s your armchair diagnosis? Could it really not be one out of control 5 year old whose parents have inconsistent consequences that the kid doesn’t care about?

[Anonymous]

What are his privileges? That is, the things beyond food and shelter that he really enjoys and holds dear? (For my kids it's desert and TV). Kneel down to his level, hold his hands firmly and look him in the eye. Tell him the biting is not acceptable. The next time he bites he will loose his privileges for X amount of time. And then follow-through. It make take a few times, but if continues a lot beyond that there may be a larger problem at hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At nearly six, this isn’t impulse control. His desire to hurt her is greater than your consequences. Warn him immediately that if he bites or hurts her again, there will be no screens for a week - and stick with it. When he hears her watching TV or playing on iPad, remind him why he can’t. Don’t give it.

You’ve been too lax, OP. What he’s doing is not okay or age appropriate.

+1. Except the screens and grounding are immediate. No warning.

Honestly, at this point I would consider a swat, especially if he bit her and wouldn't let go. Purposefully harming other people is my bright line for the limit of non-physical punishment and would consider a smack with a crop if I catch him doing it or drag him to child psychologist (probably the latter but I'd need more context if the former was appropriate, such as if he bites and refuses to let go).
I watched my neighbors break each others' bones and leave horrific bruises and have all sorts of hospital runs because this behavior only escalates as they get older and this little brother will likely grow much bigger than his sister. I absolutely will not tolerate physical violence between siblings.I would also tell the sister to defend herself and not punish her for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her response when he does it? If the answer isn’t she slaps the dog sh!t out of him, it is now.

Ha, I only read the title of the thread and "let her bite back" was my first thought.

Nothing stopped my younger sister until I bit her. It’s such 80s advice, but it worked.

Some things are time tested. As someone said, the consequences implemented are not great enough. I can guarantee if she wallops him one good time or bites him back he’ll stop.

My big sister bullied me endlessly when we were that age. One day, my mom said I could fight back. It happened one more time, and that was it. For what it's worth, we're great friends now. Be straight with your daughter, apologize for failing to prevent her brother from hurting her, and let her know she can react and defend herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her response when he does it? If the answer isn’t she slaps the dog sh!t out of him, it is now.

Ha, I only read the title of the thread and "let her bite back" was my first thought.

Nothing stopped my younger sister until I bit her. It’s such 80s advice, but it worked.

Some things are time tested. As someone said, the consequences implemented are not great enough. I can guarantee if she wallops him one good time or bites him back he’ll stop.

My big sister bullied me endlessly when we were that age. One day, my mom said I could fight back. It happened one more time, and that was it. For what it's worth, we're great friends now. Be straight with your daughter, apologize for failing to prevent her brother from hurting her, and let her know she can react and defend herself.

Your mom was a lazy selfish parent.