Took a friend's kid on vacation, no acknowledgement or thank you?
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Anonymous
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I took my son's BF with us on a 3 night trip to our vacation property (kids are in our quarantine bubble and we wore masks whenever we left the condo). Mom and I are good friends, we socialize without the kids, etc. Yesterday before we left to head home I texted her with our return time ETA. She texted back with a thumbs-up emoji. When we got to the house, I walked in with her son and his bags. Son said "mom is on a work call" so I left (I also work full time so I totally understood she may have been on a work call). I texted her "He's home!" and left. She has not answered me at all, not even a thumbs up. No thank you, no "Hey when he went to sleep tonight he told us all about the great time he had", etc. I am feeling hurt and a bit used. I also have a pile of his stuff that I washed (it was in the wet bag) like his pool towel, bathing suit, water bottle, etc. It is all clean and I am tempted to just leave it on their steps without a word.
Am I overreacting? I took her son for three nights, paid for everything (take out, ice cream, etc) -she didn't even send him with $5. This is a family who regularly vacations in Europe, etc so they know how to travel and they have means. I am not looking for much, just one text of thanks. I will let it go because I am not one to start issues, but I wanted to vent and also do a sanity check... my expectations are not out of line, correct? |
Anonymous
| Give her some time. Sounds like she was busy yesterday. |
Anonymous
No it's not out of line and a decent human being would at least text a thank you. What you are feeling is valid and I would feel the same way too. |
Anonymous
+1 Give it time. Don't let this blow up a friendship. Also do things because you want to, not for a thank you. A thank you would be nice, but you shouldn't be in a mindset where an immediate thank you is viewed as a slight. |
Anonymous
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Try not to be offended. She probably has a lot on her hands and keeps meaning to thank you but something comes up to distract her.
She is your friend. You know her well, right? Is she a rude and selfish person? If she generally isn't, give her some grace and assume she is very thankfully but hasn't been able to communicate that to you (yet). It is ok. |
Anonymous
+1 This is a time when we all have to cut each other some slack. |
Anonymous
| Do you do everything in life because you expect to be thanked for it? |
Anonymous
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Work call or not, I would have made sure to convey my gratitude at this point! So yes, I understand how you're feeling. However, everyone is different, and perhaps she's going to thank you later. Wait a few days before getting really resentful. Also check your messages... |
Anonymous
| Why did you feel the need to overexplain to us about your bubble and mask wearing practices? No one cares. That was REALLY weird. |
Anonymous
| I am hoping for her she wakes up this morning and realizes she forgot to send that text she was composing . . . crossing fingers anyway. |
Anonymous
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I would wait. She might have a lot of stress right now that you have no clue about.
Also...you also probably invited this kid as something for your kid...to keep him busy/happy on vacation, right? So you could conceivably thank her for letting him come so your child had more fun. |
Anonymous
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There is dysfunction in the family that has now become visible to you.
The mother is lacking in social graces as well as basic decency. You can only imagine what kind of mother she is when no one is looking. Don't expect anything from her. |
Anonymous
| Send her an itemized list of what you spent on her son. When she is offended by your "demand" you can mention that since she did not "thank" you, you assumed that you were providing a service to her. |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
Not OP but I care. She was just trying to keep the focus on her question and not take a bunch of heat for going on trip. |