Took a friend's kid on vacation, no acknowledgement or thank you?

[Anonymous]

Is it possible that she thinks your generosity warrants an old fashioned, handwritten thank you note, sent in the mail?

[Anonymous]

Maybe she is sending you a small thank you gift and it has not arrived yet.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a very tiresome friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would wait. She might have a lot of stress right now that you have no clue about.

Also...you also probably invited this kid as something for your kid...to keep him busy/happy on vacation, right? So you could conceivably thank her for letting him come so your child had more fun.

This. Presumably she’s been nice enough before or you wouldn’t be close enough to take her kid on vacation. Who knows what’s going on, but lead by example. Thank her first. If she never responds in the way you’d like, then just take that into consideration when deciding whether to do things with her child in the future. You shouldn’t feel used unless you didn’t want to do it, but did so because she asked, in which case that’s on you.

[Anonymous]

Was that last night?

If so, good god, wait a hot minute. You have no idea what might have been going on. Sure, she could/should have texted last night. Maybe she did and didn't hit the actual send (I've done that). Maybe something came up. Maybe she's planning on dropping off a thank you gift. Maybe she just sucks.

But seriously, give it a minute or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you feel the need to overexplain to us about your bubble and mask wearing practices? No one cares. That was REALLY weird.

Are you new to DCUM? If she hadn’t, half the thread would have been slamming her for traveling at all and her defending herself. It’s what people do on here.

[Anonymous]

Her not responding to your text indicates she's having something going on (emergency, work related issue or whatever) right now.

Give it a few more days.

On a side note, I don't think you two are "good friends" like you said. Good friends don't get so worked up like this. I mean, you two have been communicated before, and you know how timely she responded to your text. Doesn't it strike you odd that she has not replied to your text yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you feel the need to overexplain to us about your bubble and mask wearing practices? No one cares. That was REALLY weird.

Because OP knows how easily dcum can get derailed into some irrelevant topic and lose the entire focus of the question in order to condemn an OP about said irrelevant issue, so she’s trying to preempt that tendency.

[Anonymous]

It's a bit odd but try and let it go. I do understand how your feelings might be hurt though.

I’m an older mom so I grew up with grandmother and mother who modeled thank you cards, hostess gifts, “ always arrive with something.” I know not everyone feels this way or even is aware of this ( for good or bad I suppose.) Just focus on how you want your DC to be when they are out in the world as that is more important.

I have boys as well and have consistently emphasized this idea so that they do not think it is only the “ woman” who does this.

For example, one ds was invited for a weekend and so I took him to store to do a small bag of treats and then I wrote a thank you note in advance from me thanking them hosting him for him to hand them on arrival.

Another time this summer, another ds was away with a family and upon returning home I asked for their new address to send a thank you note and Starbucks card to mom as thank you and he said “ it’s good...I bought everyone lunch to say thank you” He’s 17. My grandmother would have been so proud of him!

[Anonymous]

OP here, as I said I am not going to say/do anything. I will give her the benefit of the doubt. I just thought it was strange that she didn't say ANYTHING, not even a thumbs up that I had left her kid in her house. As for paying for everything, I guess I should have left that out as I dont' really care, just feeling grumpy. And my son did have a great time with hers, but no, I am not going to thank her for letting me take him. I will let it be and just leave it.

And to those who understood why I mentioned the masks/bubble, thank you. I didn't want this thread derailed by those who would criticize my choices.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Also, I have another son so my kids would have been fine without him coming along....he did add some variety to the weekend and my kids both love him, but I do not think I need to thank her for the gift of her son's company for mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try not to be offended. She probably has a lot on her hands and keeps meaning to thank you but something comes up to distract her.

She is your friend. You know her well, right? Is she a rude and selfish person? If she generally isn't, give her some grace and assume she is very thankfully but hasn't been able to communicate that to you (yet). It is ok.

THIS. She's your friend, and you know she's not a taker, right? Remind yourself of that. It's an oversight.

I'd text her about the stuff you washed, and tell her you'd love to drop it by and catch up, if she has time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give her some time. Sounds like she was busy yesterday.

+1 Give it time. Don't let this blow up a friendship.

Also do things because you want to, not for a thank you. A thank you would be nice, but you shouldn't be in a mindset where an immediate thank you is viewed as a slight.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give her some time. Sounds like she was busy yesterday.

+1 Give it time. Don't let this blow up a friendship.

Also do things because you want to, not for a thank you. A thank you would be nice, but you shouldn't be in a mindset where an immediate thank you is viewed as a slight.

+1

OP here, OK to this. Thank you. This was what I felt, too, after a good night's sleep. I will let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is dysfunction in the family that has now become visible to you.

The mother is lacking in social graces as well as basic decency. You can only imagine what kind of mother she is when no one is looking. Don't expect anything from her.

The woman was on a work call. No one would say this about a man.