It blows my mind that there isn't more agitation about the school issue

[Anonymous]

Doesn't it seem to you as if most non-parents (including teachers) expect parents to just suck it up and accept that schools can't open and that our children's educations is going to be lacking this year?

It blows my mind that the same people who rant against reopening schools because of safety ALSO rant against people hiring tutors because of privilege.

What do they want parents to do?! This is not a rhetorical question, I really want to know the answer to this. Pretty much everyone agrees that distance learning in the spring was a disaster for most kids. It certainly wasn't great for my own kids. IF they learned anything (big if), it's because my husband and I took time out of our workdays to teach them.

I hired someone for $75/hr and made the mistake of mentioning this on an online parenting group that I'm in when a question was posted asking how people are planning to work and do online schooling at the same time. Most of these people have younger kids than I do and they expect their daycare centers to be open. They also think public schools should be closed because "there's no way public schools can social distance." Such hypocrites.

We make decent money and we are good at saving. We should sacrifice our kids' educations because...why exactly? Because other people don't make as much money? What are you supposed to use your savings for if not in an emergency?

They think I should give up my job and home school my kids full time (which is what distance learning requires with them - full time supervision to make sure they are actually working and not goofing off) because I'm a woman?

I just want to know what the naysayers want us parents to do. Can't open schools because of Covid, even in states where cases are low (like ours in NY). But you also can't allow parents to hire private teachers because not everyone can do it? Why don't these people care about private schools then? WTF

[Anonymous]

I seriously don’t know. The pushback on pods is so fierce and bitter. I’m part of a pod cause I really don’t see how this year my DD will receive anything but a water down curriculum. I don’t want this year to be written off as an “oh well corona what can you do” year for her. Three of us who felt the same have hired a part time tutor. We will also ban together to have girls DL together.

We’re lucky in that we all work from home and have flexible schedules to help make this work. I refuse to feel guilty for trying to make lemonade out of these lemons and doing what’s best for our daughter.

[Anonymous]

I don’t actually care what you do but I ttake issue with your implication that caring about your children requires spending 75/hour on tutors.
I may get a weekly math tutor (1 hour/week) for ny kids but otherwise plan on letting them do distance learning. It’s not ideal but it’s fine. At the end of the day, kids goof off in any setting (you just don’t see if when they are at school) and learning really has to be self-directed or self-motivated to be effective.
I do strongly believe they should have let schools open for kids with extreme special needs, in very small group settings.

[Anonymous]

You have a mental problem, OP. You really do. Most others don't agree with you. Those making the decisions also don't agree with you. What psychological issue do you have that you just can't accept that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t actually care what you do but I ttake issue with your implication that caring about your children requires spending 75/hour on tutors.
I may get a weekly math tutor (1 hour/week) for ny kids but otherwise plan on letting them do distance learning. It’s not ideal but it’s fine. At the end of the day, kids goof off in any setting (you just don’t see if when they are at school) and learning really has to be self-directed or self-motivated to be effective.
I do strongly believe they should have let schools open for kids with extreme special needs, in very small group settings.

This is just the going rate. I learned this past spring that my particular kids need someone supervising them most of the time and I can't do that and work at the same time. Neither can my husband, who makes a great deal more money than I do. We can't sacrifice his job if we want to stay in our house and we can't sacrifice mine if I don't want to jeopardize my career and I don't. I guess most people think I should because I'm the woman, though, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have a mental problem, OP. You really do. Most others don't agree with you. Those making the decisions also don't agree with you. What psychological issue do you have that you just can't accept that?

What? That schools can't be open and that we shouldn't think that's a big deal? We can't be mad/upset about that as parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't it seem to you as if most non-parents (including teachers) expect parents to just suck it up and accept that schools can't open and that our children's educations is going to be lacking this year?

It blows my mind that the same people who rant against reopening schools because of safety ALSO rant against people hiring tutors because of privilege.

What do they want parents to do?! This is not a rhetorical question, I really want to know the answer to this. Pretty much everyone agrees that distance learning in the spring was a disaster for most kids. It certainly wasn't great for my own kids. IF they learned anything (big if), it's because my husband and I took time out of our workdays to teach them.

I hired someone for $75/hr and made the mistake of mentioning this on an online parenting group that I'm in when a question was posted asking how people are planning to work and do online schooling at the same time. Most of these people have younger kids than I do and they expect their daycare centers to be open. They also think public schools should be closed because "there's no way public schools can social distance." Such hypocrites.

We make decent money and we are good at saving. We should sacrifice our kids' educations because...why exactly? Because other people don't make as much money? What are you supposed to use your savings for if not in an emergency?

They think I should give up my job and home school my kids full time (which is what distance learning requires with them - full time supervision to make sure they are actually working and not goofing off) because I'm a woman?

I just want to know what the naysayers want us parents to do. Can't open schools because of Covid, even in states where cases are low (like ours in NY). But you also can't allow parents to hire private teachers because not everyone can do it? Why don't these people care about private schools then? WTF

OP, are you a single mom? If not, you and your spouse have to make some changes. You have to downsize. One of you has to go part time. Something has to change. This is life. You have to adapt. If you don't think you should be the one to go part time, talk to you partner about it. Someone has to make a serious compromise to make this work. Sorry that it is happening this way, but it is. Just accept it and do what you have to do. Life isn't a perfect straight line to the top.

[Anonymous]

For someone who is very busy making so much money and being privileged, it boggles my mind how you have time to be ranting on online forums about hiring a tutor. It's your money, no one is stopping you. You are covered. Everyone else's kids are going to uneducated expect yours. So what seems to be the problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a mental problem, OP. You really do. Most others don't agree with you. Those making the decisions also don't agree with you. What psychological issue do you have that you just can't accept that?

What? That schools can't be open and that we shouldn't think that's a big deal? We can't be mad/upset about that as parents?

So you keep saying. And saying and saying and saying and saying and saying. Meanwhile other parents have swallowed the bitter pill and are moving past you to start dealing with reality. What you WANT is not what IS. You have to stop stomping your feet and being mad about it, so you can move forward.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're going to get a lot of bitter, resentful people criticizing you because they can't afford to hire a $75/hr tutor.

But, obviously, yes it's a huge deal that schools are not opening and we should ALL be upset about that as a society. We are hurting our children and the next generation with our choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a mental problem, OP. You really do. Most others don't agree with you. Those making the decisions also don't agree with you. What psychological issue do you have that you just can't accept that?

What? That schools can't be open and that we shouldn't think that's a big deal? We can't be mad/upset about that as parents?

So you keep saying. And saying and saying and saying and saying and saying. Meanwhile other parents have swallowed the bitter pill and are moving past you to start dealing with reality. What you WANT is not what IS. You have to stop stomping your feet and being mad about it, so you can move forward.

Duh, she is moving forward. Did you not read about the part where she hired the very expensive private tutor that other people have a problem with because they don't make as much money and can't afford it?

I did the same thing and I completely agree with her that this whole thing is nuts.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the pushback on pods is anything more than agitation for the kids who can’t have them. It’s a good thing. You want people to be upset about inequity. You can still have your pod. There won’t be any consequences. I think you’re way overstating the impact of people’s general upset about the situation on you personally. I get why - it’s uncomfortable to think about how you can afford to make this situation better for your kids and it feels better to be angry/wounded about people attacking you than it does to feel shitty about abandoning the team boat (which is sinking anyway, make no mistake). What you need to do is get comfortable with your decision and then try to be generous in your dealings with other people and probably keep the specifics of what you’re spending private.

The only solution is to get the virus under control. Pods are like 12 steps down the road and the truth is that it doesn’t really matter what parents do to cope when the actual problem is still a problem.

Frankly people DO feel this way about private schools, but there aren’t as many situations where people might be having a conversation about the public school and you chime in with “I’m spending $40k a year to go to private.” If you did, you might catch some feedback. But as in your current situation, it wouldn’t actually harm you or prevent you from using the private school even if you decided you had been victimized.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, the people driving me bonkers are the ones who are myopically making this be about school reopening instead of about the fact that THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA HAS HAD THE LEAST EFFECTIVE COVID RESPONSE IN THE ENTIRE DEVELOPED WORLD.

School closures are a symptom of a much, much larger problem we're facing right now. Focus your anger on the root cause, and you'll get a lot more support.

Also, IDGAF about pods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, the people driving me bonkers are the ones who are myopically making this be about school reopening instead of about the fact that THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA HAS HAD THE LEAST EFFECTIVE COVID RESPONSE IN THE ENTIRE DEVELOPED WORLD.

School closures are a symptom of a much, much larger problem we're facing right now. Focus your anger on the root cause, and you'll get a lot more support.

Also, IDGAF about pods.

well obviously but nothing will be done until January.

[Anonymous]

I'm not "agitating" because 1) I think it's reasonable to close schools in a pandemic and 2) I'm waiting to see if they do a better job this fall.