Why do some women enable their husbands being terrible fathers?

[Anonymous]

An acquaintance of mine told me that she’s literally never gone out alone for a personal reason because she can’t leave her 4yo alone with DH because DH doesn’t know how to handle her. I mean...???

[Anonymous]

For the same reason women get married and immediately assume household duties.

[Anonymous]

She’s probably working to get him more involved, and shared with you a part of her struggle. She’s not willing to leave her child in a situation where she’s basically a test subject to measure DH’s learning curve.

You’re a nice friend by the way. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
She’s probably working to get him more involved, and shared with you a part of her struggle. She’s not willing to leave her child in a situation where she’s basically a test subject to measure DH’s learning curve.

You’re a nice friend by the way. Sheesh.

Why are you making up stuff? None of what you said is true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She’s probably working to get him more involved, and shared with you a part of her struggle. She’s not willing to leave her child in a situation where she’s basically a test subject to measure DH’s learning curve.

You’re a nice friend by the way. Sheesh.

Why are you making up stuff? None of what you said is true

PP is projecting. Some women like projects. Girls and women are also socialized to put up with bad behavior from men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s probably working to get him more involved, and shared with you a part of her struggle. She’s not willing to leave her child in a situation where she’s basically a test subject to measure DH’s learning curve.

You’re a nice friend by the way. Sheesh.

Working to get him more involved? It's been FOUR FREAKING YEARS. If she were an employee, she'd be fired for not delivering results in a timely fashion.

[Anonymous]

OP you are assuming it is actually true that the DH in question is a terrible father. Maybe is wife is just a hypercontrolling Weirdo.

[Anonymous]

She could be a total control freak. Maybe there isn't anything wrong with her DH, but she wants things done her way, therefore she chooses not to leave their kid with him.

[Anonymous]

This is completely your friend's problem in her mind, you realize that, right? She could leave the house any time she wants? I hope you laughed in her face. Of course her husband can handle their child. SHE DOESN'T WANT TO LEAVE. She needs therapy.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's my job to make my husband a great father. It's unfortunate that he sucks. I'm a good parent. That's the best I can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
She’s probably working to get him more involved, and shared with you a part of her struggle. She’s not willing to leave her child in a situation where she’s basically a test subject to measure DH’s learning curve.

You’re a nice friend by the way. Sheesh.

This is the most pathetic excuse I’ve ever seen on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you are assuming it is actually true that the DH in question is a terrible father. Maybe is wife is just a hypercontrolling Weirdo.

This is far more likely the scenario. Far more likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She’s probably working to get him more involved, and shared with you a part of her struggle. She’s not willing to leave her child in a situation where she’s basically a test subject to measure DH’s learning curve.

You’re a nice friend by the way. Sheesh.

Why are you making up stuff? None of what you said is true

DP. You don’t know that it’s not. Some people are not comfortable trusting their spouses with their young children because their spouses have too much of a track record of being neglectful and they’re worried about the potential consequences.

I have a friend who lost her child to her spouse’s negligence. There was a family party scheduled and she had a conflict with the first half, and, rather than cancel her plans to avoid having her spouse (who she knew was a lazy parent) handle their son on his own, decided to make him handle it himself. Except her husband didn’t step up, their son wandered away from the party and drowned in a creek behind the relative’s house.

Awful stuff can happen, and leaving your young child in the sole care of someone you know doesn’t take it seriously can have terrible consequences. That’s also why women in this position will choose not to divorce, because shared custody will only increase the risk.

[Anonymous]

Ah yes, let’s blame women for men’s behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah yes, let’s blame women for men’s behavior.

It’s the easiest form of misogyny.