How do you know you're attractive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People look at you and keep their gaze on your face for a few seconds longer than necessary. A lot of male attention, often female jealousy or other women asking for beauty/fashion advice. Random compliments, extended service or offers and invitations. But also random people giving you hard time, just because, or to teach you a lesson.

This happens in real life?

My old dentist used to take forever to clean my teeth. He asked about any issues and I told him my jaw was aching. Stress he then gave me a cranial massage that lasted for about 45 mins. I thought it a bit odd....but the massage was great. Every appt afterward I was offered a Cranial neck massage

Went to a plastic surgeon for Botox and he spent forever just staring at my face... admiringly. Exquisite bone structure symmetry
Etc.

The plumber came to fix a leak we chatted about all sorts of things, he stayed for awhile he charged me $50.

I’ve never paid anywhere close to retail for any piece of furniture, car etc. I just say oh I want that one and this is what I want to pay. Always a ridiculously low price. The sales men flirt a bit, laugh say that I can’t give it to you for that. How about... I hold firm and smile and say no I want that one and I am paying this amount. Works like a charm.

Job interviews. When I walk into an office, conference room I can see the startled expressions. The men always shift in their chairs as their faces instantly light up. If a male has the final say I always get an offer.

When I was dating... the sweet ones would shake with excitement, or nervousness. I went out on a lot of dates. Always dinner dates and alway very nice restaurants. Always seated at a great table and I always got asked out again.

I’ve dropped stacks of paper, groceries, etc and never once had to bend to pick up anything. Even on busy streets, even in the middle of a crosswalk during rush hour. Several people always will stop to help me.

I ran out of gas ⛽️ on the highway. Got out and stood next to my car for maybe 3 mins... had no idea what to do. Then a nice man pulled over to help. He left get me some gas. I stayed at my car and no sooner then he drove away another call pulls up and another man offers assistance, the cars kept pulling up one after the other to offer assistance. About 10 cars later he returned with the gas. The last man who pulled over to help Offered to wait around to make sure I was safe. He just sat in his car and waited with me. When the Good Samaritan retuned he followed me to the gas station to make sure I had no more problems.

I was back stage after a concert and random people kept walking up to me to ask for my autograph. I felt really bad having to tell this little girl I was a nobody.

A friend told me I was the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen in person.

Gay men approach me a lot to tell me how ferocious I am.

Gay women hit on me.

Babies never cry when I hold them. They smile and touch my face.

I don’t have pets but friend’s cats and dogs always cozy up to me.

I smile a lot and am happy most of the time. I love to laugh. I like people. And love to hear their stories. People open up to me about very personal things. I like to compliment people and Cheer them on and or up! I am told I smile in my sleep. I Think my face is interesting. Not traditionally attractive but I think all my parts just work really well together.’ I’ve been told I’m stunning.

But I really think it’s just that I am really good picking at up on what makes people tick and reflecting back to them something that they really need to see or hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an AA woman so I always find threads like this fascinating. While I’ve been told that I am a seven or eight, I know that when it comes to the overall attractiveness hierarchy, black women are at the very bottom. Though I’ve been hit on a good amount, it’s nothing close to amount of flirting, free drinks, compliments, dates that my white girlfriends women have received.

So for (non biracial, brown skinned WOC): generally being told you’re pretty, getting invited on dates. But don’t expect what a white woman of comparable attractive gets: there will rarely be free drink, the same number of dates, perks etc.

Said differently: if you find a good catch at 25, don’t dump him because you’re bored. Non black women have those options; pickings are far too slim for black women to take that risk.

White woman here who secretly thinks black women are universally better looking than white women. I think it’s an objective observation too.

Another white woman here who thinks Black women generally rank higher on the beauty scale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People look at you and keep their gaze on your face for a few seconds longer than necessary. A lot of male attention, often female jealousy or other women asking for beauty/fashion advice. Random compliments, extended service or offers and invitations. But also random people giving you hard time, just because, or to teach you a lesson.

This happens in real life?

My old dentist used to take forever to clean my teeth. He asked about any issues and I told him my jaw was aching. Stress he then gave me a cranial massage that lasted for about 45 mins. I thought it a bit odd....but the massage was great. Every appt afterward I was offered a Cranial neck massage

Went to a plastic surgeon for Botox and he spent forever just staring at my face... admiringly. Exquisite bone structure symmetry
Etc.

The plumber came to fix a leak we chatted about all sorts of things, he stayed for awhile he charged me $50.

I’ve never paid anywhere close to retail for any piece of furniture, car etc. I just say oh I want that one and this is what I want to pay. Always a ridiculously low price. The sales men flirt a bit, laugh say that I can’t give it to you for that. How about... I hold firm and smile and say no I want that one and I am paying this amount. Works like a charm.

Job interviews. When I walk into an office, conference room I can see the startled expressions. The men always shift in their chairs as their faces instantly light up. If a male has the final say I always get an offer.

When I was dating... the sweet ones would shake with excitement, or nervousness. I went out on a lot of dates. Always dinner dates and alway very nice restaurants. Always seated at a great table and I always got asked out again.

I’ve dropped stacks of paper, groceries, etc and never once had to bend to pick up anything. Even on busy streets, even in the middle of a crosswalk during rush hour. Several people always will stop to help me.

I ran out of gas ⛽️ on the highway. Got out and stood next to my car for maybe 3 mins... had no idea what to do. Then a nice man pulled over to help. He left get me some gas. I stayed at my car and no sooner then he drove away another call pulls up and another man offers assistance, the cars kept pulling up one after the other to offer assistance. About 10 cars later he returned with the gas. The last man who pulled over to help Offered to wait around to make sure I was safe. He just sat in his car and waited with me. When the Good Samaritan retuned he followed me to the gas station to make sure I had no more problems.

I was back stage after a concert and random people kept walking up to me to ask for my autograph. I felt really bad having to tell this little girl I was a nobody.

A friend told me I was the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen in person.

Gay men approach me a lot to tell me how ferocious I am.

Gay women hit on me.

Babies never cry when I hold them. They smile and touch my face.

I don’t have pets but friend’s cats and dogs always cozy up to me.

I smile a lot and am happy most of the time. I love to laugh. I like people. And love to hear their stories. People open up to me about very personal things. I like to compliment people and Cheer them on and or up! I am told I smile in my sleep. I Think my face is interesting. Not traditionally attractive but I think all my parts just work really well together.’ I’ve been told I’m stunning.

But I really think it’s just that I am really good picking at up on what makes people tick and reflecting back to them something that they really need to see or hear.

Most of this list isn’t about being attractive. It is about being confident, attractive, AND being willing to take advantage of it in many ways. There are things you do that my personality just wouldn’t allow me to do. One of them being standing outside of your car on a street. Of course you are going to get 10 cars stopping. And then waiting in a strange guys car?? Nope, not for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People look at you and keep their gaze on your face for a few seconds longer than necessary. A lot of male attention, often female jealousy or other women asking for beauty/fashion advice. Random compliments, extended service or offers and invitations. But also random people giving you hard time, just because, or to teach you a lesson.

This happens in real life?

My old dentist used to take forever to clean my teeth. He asked about any issues and I told him my jaw was aching. Stress he then gave me a cranial massage that lasted for about 45 mins. I thought it a bit odd....but the massage was great. Every appt afterward I was offered a Cranial neck massage

Went to a plastic surgeon for Botox and he spent forever just staring at my face... admiringly. Exquisite bone structure symmetry
Etc.

The plumber came to fix a leak we chatted about all sorts of things, he stayed for awhile he charged me $50.

I’ve never paid anywhere close to retail for any piece of furniture, car etc. I just say oh I want that one and this is what I want to pay. Always a ridiculously low price. The sales men flirt a bit, laugh say that I can’t give it to you for that. How about... I hold firm and smile and say no I want that one and I am paying this amount. Works like a charm.

Job interviews. When I walk into an office, conference room I can see the startled expressions. The men always shift in their chairs as their faces instantly light up. If a male has the final say I always get an offer.

When I was dating... the sweet ones would shake with excitement, or nervousness. I went out on a lot of dates. Always dinner dates and alway very nice restaurants. Always seated at a great table and I always got asked out again.

I’ve dropped stacks of paper, groceries, etc and never once had to bend to pick up anything. Even on busy streets, even in the middle of a crosswalk during rush hour. Several people always will stop to help me.

I ran out of gas ⛽️ on the highway. Got out and stood next to my car for maybe 3 mins... had no idea what to do. Then a nice man pulled over to help. He left get me some gas. I stayed at my car and no sooner then he drove away another call pulls up and another man offers assistance, the cars kept pulling up one after the other to offer assistance. About 10 cars later he returned with the gas. The last man who pulled over to help Offered to wait around to make sure I was safe. He just sat in his car and waited with me. When the Good Samaritan retuned he followed me to the gas station to make sure I had no more problems.

I was back stage after a concert and random people kept walking up to me to ask for my autograph. I felt really bad having to tell this little girl I was a nobody.

A friend told me I was the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen in person.

Gay men approach me a lot to tell me how ferocious I am.

Gay women hit on me.

Babies never cry when I hold them. They smile and touch my face.

I don’t have pets but friend’s cats and dogs always cozy up to me.

I smile a lot and am happy most of the time. I love to laugh. I like people. And love to hear their stories. People open up to me about very personal things. I like to compliment people and Cheer them on and or up! I am told I smile in my sleep. I Think my face is interesting. Not traditionally attractive but I think all my parts just work really well together.’ I’ve been told I’m stunning.

But I really think it’s just that I am really good picking at up on what makes people tick and reflecting back to them something that they really need to see or hear.

Most of this list isn’t about being attractive. It is about being confident, attractive, AND being willing to take advantage of it in many ways. There are things you do that my personality just wouldn’t allow me to do. One of them being standing outside of your car on a street. Of course you are going to get 10 cars stopping. And then waiting in a strange guys car?? Nope, not for me.

i don't think you understood that PP's point. let's say someone below average-looking had been in the same exact scenarios. they might have not received the same treatment as she did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People look at you and keep their gaze on your face for a few seconds longer than necessary. A lot of male attention, often female jealousy or other women asking for beauty/fashion advice. Random compliments, extended service or offers and invitations. But also random people giving you hard time, just because, or to teach you a lesson.

This happens in real life?

My old dentist used to take forever to clean my teeth. He asked about any issues and I told him my jaw was aching. Stress he then gave me a cranial massage that lasted for about 45 mins. I thought it a bit odd....but the massage was great. Every appt afterward I was offered a Cranial neck massage

Went to a plastic surgeon for Botox and he spent forever just staring at my face... admiringly. Exquisite bone structure symmetry
Etc.

The plumber came to fix a leak we chatted about all sorts of things, he stayed for awhile he charged me $50.

I’ve never paid anywhere close to retail for any piece of furniture, car etc. I just say oh I want that one and this is what I want to pay. Always a ridiculously low price. The sales men flirt a bit, laugh say that I can’t give it to you for that. How about... I hold firm and smile and say no I want that one and I am paying this amount. Works like a charm.

Job interviews. When I walk into an office, conference room I can see the startled expressions. The men always shift in their chairs as their faces instantly light up. If a male has the final say I always get an offer.

When I was dating... the sweet ones would shake with excitement, or nervousness. I went out on a lot of dates. Always dinner dates and alway very nice restaurants. Always seated at a great table and I always got asked out again.

I’ve dropped stacks of paper, groceries, etc and never once had to bend to pick up anything. Even on busy streets, even in the middle of a crosswalk during rush hour. Several people always will stop to help me.

I ran out of gas ⛽️ on the highway. Got out and stood next to my car for maybe 3 mins... had no idea what to do. Then a nice man pulled over to help. He left get me some gas. I stayed at my car and no sooner then he drove away another call pulls up and another man offers assistance, the cars kept pulling up one after the other to offer assistance. About 10 cars later he returned with the gas. The last man who pulled over to help Offered to wait around to make sure I was safe. He just sat in his car and waited with me. When the Good Samaritan retuned he followed me to the gas station to make sure I had no more problems.

I was back stage after a concert and random people kept walking up to me to ask for my autograph. I felt really bad having to tell this little girl I was a nobody.

A friend told me I was the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen in person.

Gay men approach me a lot to tell me how ferocious I am.

Gay women hit on me.

Babies never cry when I hold them. They smile and touch my face.

I don’t have pets but friend’s cats and dogs always cozy up to me.

I smile a lot and am happy most of the time. I love to laugh. I like people. And love to hear their stories. People open up to me about very personal things. I like to compliment people and Cheer them on and or up! I am told I smile in my sleep. I Think my face is interesting. Not traditionally attractive but I think all my parts just work really well together.’ I’ve been told I’m stunning.

But I really think it’s just that I am really good picking at up on what makes people tick and reflecting back to them something that they really need to see or hear.

Most of this list isn’t about being attractive. It is about being confident, attractive, AND being willing to take advantage of it in many ways. There are things you do that my personality just wouldn’t allow me to do. One of them being standing outside of your car on a street. Of course you are going to get 10 cars stopping. And then waiting in a strange guys car?? Nope, not for me.

i don't think you understood that PP's point. let's say someone below average-looking had been in the same exact scenarios. they might have not received the same treatment as she did.

Maybe, but I think I am not making myself clear either. I attract attention. I don’t like the attention. As, an example, I would never get out of the car on the street because I don’t want 10 guys stopping. It would make me feel insecure (an issue I have clearly). If I drop something and when people rush, I’m embarrassed and say something like, thanks so much, but I can clean it up.” At a job interview, or when I walk in a room and men look at me, I don’t like it and think “Ugh- why would I want to spend my time dealing with the sexual politics of this place.” Honestly, I’ve probably limited my career and life choices to avoid this, but there you go. PP on the other hand, dives right in and takes it all on.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that her attractiveness is one portion of the PPs existence, but how she deals with her attractiveness is personality and that probably gets her more and she is more willing to agree to those terms. She would probably agree with me as she also stated, “ But I really think it’s just that I am really good picking at up on what makes people tick and reflecting back to them something that they really need to see or hear.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an AA woman so I always find threads like this fascinating. While I’ve been told that I am a seven or eight, I know that when it comes to the overall attractiveness hierarchy, black women are at the very bottom. Though I’ve been hit on a good amount, it’s nothing close to amount of flirting, free drinks, compliments, dates that my white girlfriends women have received.

So for (non biracial, brown skinned WOC): generally being told you’re pretty, getting invited on dates. But don’t expect what a white woman of comparable attractive gets: there will rarely be free drink, the same number of dates, perks etc.

Said differently: if you find a good catch at 25, don’t dump him because you’re bored. Non black women have those options; pickings are far too slim for black women to take that risk.

White woman here who secretly thinks black women are universally better looking than white women. I think it’s an objective observation too.

such a fascinating conversation. Definitely black and brown women age much better, fewer wrinkles, etc.

I’m the white PP. to clarify I said “secretly” because saying this out loud to a Black woman would seem creepy or fake or whatever. I have waxed poetic about them to white friends however in a non objectifying way.
Anyway, yes, we age worse but not just that. Brown skin is so beautiful. My skin is like see-through and I’m not even that pale. You can see white people’s veins and crap through their skin. It’s weird. We’re like naked mole rats. I don’t hate my skin but I just think that darker skin is beautiful. I do not tan because that doesn’t solve the problem and looks weird on white people. Plus Black women have beautiful features generally. Yes there is great diversity in features but especially African women are the canon of beauty I think. Full lips, a nose that isn’t beak-like like mine, megawatt smiles and almond shaped eyes. Wowza. Anyway, they are far more than their beauty but that’s what this thread is about. So I really hope Black women laugh at white beauty standards because they are dumb for the most part.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never had a male friend who didn’t want to date me. This has been such a bummer and makes me question my worth beyond just being desirable. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an AA woman so I always find threads like this fascinating. While I’ve been told that I am a seven or eight, I know that when it comes to the overall attractiveness hierarchy, black women are at the very bottom. Though I’ve been hit on a good amount, it’s nothing close to amount of flirting, free drinks, compliments, dates that my white girlfriends women have received.

So for (non biracial, brown skinned WOC): generally being told you’re pretty, getting invited on dates. But don’t expect what a white woman of comparable attractive gets: there will rarely be free drink, the same number of dates, perks etc.

Said differently: if you find a good catch at 25, don’t dump him because you’re bored. Non black women have those options; pickings are far too slim for black women to take that risk.

White woman here who secretly thinks black women are universally better looking than white women. I think it’s an objective observation too.

Another white woman here who thinks Black women generally rank higher on the beauty scale.

+1

I totally agree! When I met DH’s sisters I asked if they were models (non-white). They are so beautiful to me and in to men from their home country but not so much in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an AA woman so I always find threads like this fascinating. While I’ve been told that I am a seven or eight, I know that when it comes to the overall attractiveness hierarchy, black women are at the very bottom. Though I’ve been hit on a good amount, it’s nothing close to amount of flirting, free drinks, compliments, dates that my white girlfriends women have received.

So for (non biracial, brown skinned WOC): generally being told you’re pretty, getting invited on dates. But don’t expect what a white woman of comparable attractive gets: there will rarely be free drink, the same number of dates, perks etc.

Said differently: if you find a good catch at 25, don’t dump him because you’re bored. Non black women have those options; pickings are far too slim for black women to take that risk.

White woman here who secretly thinks black women are universally better looking than white women. I think it’s an objective observation too.

Another white woman here who thinks Black women generally rank higher on the beauty scale.

+1

I totally agree! When I met DH’s sisters I asked if they were models (non-white). They are so beautiful to me and in to men from their home country but not so much in the US.

I’ve spent a lot of time in Kenya and Tanzania and many of the women there are truly stunning.

[Anonymous]

What if they say it like, "You puuordeee!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an AA woman so I always find threads like this fascinating. While I’ve been told that I am a seven or eight, I know that when it comes to the overall attractiveness hierarchy, black women are at the very bottom. Though I’ve been hit on a good amount, it’s nothing close to amount of flirting, free drinks, compliments, dates that my white girlfriends women have received.

So for (non biracial, brown skinned WOC): generally being told you’re pretty, getting invited on dates. But don’t expect what a white woman of comparable attractive gets: there will rarely be free drink, the same number of dates, perks etc.

Said differently: if you find a good catch at 25, don’t dump him because you’re bored. Non black women have those options; pickings are far too slim for black women to take that risk.

White woman here who secretly thinks black women are universally better looking than white women. I think it’s an objective observation too.

such a fascinating conversation. Definitely black and brown women age much better, fewer wrinkles, etc.

I’m the white PP. to clarify I said “secretly” because saying this out loud to a Black woman would seem creepy or fake or whatever. I have waxed poetic about them to white friends however in a non objectifying way.
Anyway, yes, we age worse but not just that. Brown skin is so beautiful. My skin is like see-through and I’m not even that pale. You can see white people’s veins and crap through their skin. It’s weird. We’re like naked mole rats. I don’t hate my skin but I just think that darker skin is beautiful. I do not tan because that doesn’t solve the problem and looks weird on white people. Plus Black women have beautiful features generally. Yes there is great diversity in features but especially African women are the canon of beauty I think. Full lips, a nose that isn’t beak-like like mine, megawatt smiles and almond shaped eyes. Wowza. Anyway, they are far more than their beauty but that’s what this thread is about. So I really hope Black women laugh at white beauty standards because they are dumb for the most part.

Hahaha... I've always been self conscious about being able to see my veins in my temples and on my hands and arms and feet. I don't have any varicose veins or anything, just that...you can see my veins easily. I guess it's helpful when I'm getting blood drawn though.

[Anonymous]

Black woman here. Glad to know that you all think we are absolutely gorgeous. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black woman here. Glad to know that you all think we are absolutely gorgeous. Thank you!

Black don’t crack (but white cracks and crumbles and sags)

- white lady

[Anonymous]

How do I know I am attractive? When I was dating, some women were interested without me making a first move.

[Anonymous]

I never really had to think about this, or wonder, or feel insecure. If I ever had to think about it, it’s because it was a problem (inappropriate attention from a client or colleague).