How do you know you're attractive?

[Anonymous]

Look in the mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have multiple men tell me I was the one who got away. And they still feel the same way 10 years later.

NP and I “show well!”

I got a bid from every sorority at my college.

I have gotten offered a job every time I’ve been interviewed.

I earnestly try to be attractive physically, but also am a very warm, kind, sweet and sunny person.
I’m very smiley and I swear, humble. I get compliments on my voice (done corporate in house voicemail recordings for two employers) and I am known for always dressing professionally and attractively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It basically boils down to people helping me and doing favors for me and giving me things for free. I never really wait in line, get coffee and drinks for free, get comped dinner and tickets to shows. I get out of paying for parking and tickets.

It's strangers so it's not like they know me beyond a superficial level. One guy said I had good energy and made his day bright, which was sweet. But it really comes down to being pleasant and attractive

Being an attractive woman really is the ultimate in privilege. There are definitely downsides but it beats being ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It basically boils down to people helping me and doing favors for me and giving me things for free. I never really wait in line, get coffee and drinks for free, get comped dinner and tickets to shows. I get out of paying for parking and tickets.

It's strangers so it's not like they know me beyond a superficial level. One guy said I had good energy and made his day bright, which was sweet. But it really comes down to being pleasant and attractive

Being an attractive woman really is the ultimate in privilege. There are definitely downsides but it beats being ugly.

Most of us are average though.

[Anonymous]

I got a bid from every sorority at my college.

Hi. I received a bit from every fraternity I rushed as well.

I have gotten offered a job every time I’ve been interviewed.

Me too. In fact, I have been offered jobs without interviewing for them.

I’m very smiley and I swear, humble. I get compliments on my voice (done corporate in house voicemail recordings for two employers) and I am known for always dressing professionally and attractively.

I am also known for dressing professionally attractively. However, I do not consider myself to be attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i'm a guy here is how it goes

super hot (9-10s) - everyone and their brother knows they are hot. they don't need to second guess anything about their looks

attractive (7-8s) - will get compliments on a regular basis, asked out very often, lot of boys chasing them. the 7s and 8s get the most attention from most guys. Because they are hot but not unattainable hot like the 9s and 10s , so all you girls who think you are super hot just because you are getting a ton of attention doesn't make you drop dead beautiful. it makes you .... uhm .. above average not much more

f'ckable (average) is 5s- 6s. you will still get plenty of guys interested because let's be honest. most people are average and half are below average. depending on your other traits you might be marriage material or FWB material. but girls in this category are the ones who keep hoping for the prince charming thinking that because they get some attention they are a 7 or 8 even though they are clearly not. women in this category also get pumped and dumped a lot but not quite as much as the next category.

finally ok if you are drunk (3s, 4s) .. name says it all. most guys are not interested but will still bang you if they are drunk enough. so you will get attention but mostly at bars, clubs and from horny desperate guys

What category are the women who get lots of stares and people act weird around them but they rarely if ever get asked out

The missing a limb category?

[Anonymous]

I am an AA woman so I always find threads like this fascinating. While I’ve been told that I am a seven or eight, I know that when it comes to the overall attractiveness hierarchy, black women are at the very bottom. Though I’ve been hit on a good amount, it’s nothing close to amount of flirting, free drinks, compliments, dates that my white girlfriends women have received.

So for (non biracial, brown skinned WOC): generally being told you’re pretty, getting invited on dates. But don’t expect what a white woman of comparable attractive gets: there will rarely be free drink, the same number of dates, perks etc.

Said differently: if you find a good catch at 25, don’t dump him because you’re bored. Non black women have those options; pickings are far too slim for black women to take that risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I got a bid from every sorority at my college.

Hi. I received a bit from every fraternity I rushed as well.

I have gotten offered a job every time I’ve been interviewed.

Me too. In fact, I have been offered jobs without interviewing for them.

I’m very smiley and I swear, humble. I get compliments on my voice (done corporate in house voicemail recordings for two employers) and I am known for always dressing professionally and attractively.

I am also known for dressing professionally attractively. However, I do not consider myself to be attractive.

This PP and…ok? Maybe different for males?

My DH calls me beautiful and/or hot…
Men smile at me, babies and children, too. Women - not as much.
I make a conscious effort not be at all snobbish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an AA woman so I always find threads like this fascinating. While I’ve been told that I am a seven or eight, I know that when it comes to the overall attractiveness hierarchy, black women are at the very bottom. Though I’ve been hit on a good amount, it’s nothing close to amount of flirting, free drinks, compliments, dates that my white girlfriends women have received.

So for (non biracial, brown skinned WOC): generally being told you’re pretty, getting invited on dates. But don’t expect what a white woman of comparable attractive gets: there will rarely be free drink, the same number of dates, perks etc.

Said differently: if you find a good catch at 25, don’t dump him because you’re bored. Non black women have those options; pickings are far too slim for black women to take that risk.

For sure, PP. Beauty is very racialized. I remember a survey maybe 15 years back of the hottest and ugliest cities, and guess who was at the bottom? DC and Detroit. Partly IMO because they were blacker and partly because the white men taking this survey (it was like Men's Health or something) were not even considering Black women (and potentially other WOC) and thus the pool seemed smaller and with fewer hotties.

I am the PP with low self esteem and my husband (of color) is extremely "objectively" attractive and holds relatively little privilege here in the US because of it. (Sure, he's favored over other men of his race, but that's 75% of it.) When he goes back to his country of birth, it's a hugely different experience. Of course, anti-Blackness is global, so I know this doesn't fully apply to even Black women in majority-Black countries.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and yeah, white women-- the other way to look at it is that we are given a minimum +1-2 bonus just for being white. The most "Aryan" looking get a bonus on top of that. If I had a nickel for every thin, blonde, blue-eyed woman who thought and acted as if she were an 8 or 9... and well, they're often treated as such, so they're right, in a way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an AA woman so I always find threads like this fascinating. While I’ve been told that I am a seven or eight, I know that when it comes to the overall attractiveness hierarchy, black women are at the very bottom. Though I’ve been hit on a good amount, it’s nothing close to amount of flirting, free drinks, compliments, dates that my white girlfriends women have received.

So for (non biracial, brown skinned WOC): generally being told you’re pretty, getting invited on dates. But don’t expect what a white woman of comparable attractive gets: there will rarely be free drink, the same number of dates, perks etc.

Said differently: if you find a good catch at 25, don’t dump him because you’re bored. Non black women have those options; pickings are far too slim for black women to take that risk.

White woman here who secretly thinks black women are universally better looking than white women. I think it’s an objective observation too.

[Anonymous]

Guessing it's because I've been told I'm pretty, beautiful, etc all my life by friends, family, strangers as long as I can remember. Sometimes I think I look gorgeous in pics, other times I think I look hideous. People stare sometimes too, and maybe it's because I have a good sense of style but now in my mid-40s am wondering how many compliments are real or people feeling sorry for me staring because I'm actually ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an AA woman so I always find threads like this fascinating. While I’ve been told that I am a seven or eight, I know that when it comes to the overall attractiveness hierarchy, black women are at the very bottom. Though I’ve been hit on a good amount, it’s nothing close to amount of flirting, free drinks, compliments, dates that my white girlfriends women have received.

So for (non biracial, brown skinned WOC): generally being told you’re pretty, getting invited on dates. But don’t expect what a white woman of comparable attractive gets: there will rarely be free drink, the same number of dates, perks etc.

Said differently: if you find a good catch at 25, don’t dump him because you’re bored. Non black women have those options; pickings are far too slim for black women to take that risk.

White woman here who secretly thinks black women are universally better looking than white women. I think it’s an objective observation too.

such a fascinating conversation. Definitely black and brown women age much better, fewer wrinkles, etc.

[Anonymous]

Random free stuff. People stare at you. Getting hit on all the time.

[Anonymous]

AA PP. Thanks for the kind words and insights. The intersection of beauty and race is interesting indeed.

Also, holy typos! That’s what I get for trying to type on my phone. 🤪