Freeloading swim team parents suck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids swam for years -- in the summers and all through HS and college; the youngest is now a college sophomore and is coaching. DH and I did our share of volunteering. I agree that yes, it's annoying when people don't volunteer. And, yes, some of the volunteer gigs are unnecessary (though they do contribute to making swim team fun). All that said, my kids have wonderful memories of swim team and are grateful not only for our -- relatively small -- volunteer efforts over the years, but for the work of those parents who made the huge commitment of being A reps. So, know that your kids see you and that you're setting an example of how to build community.

This. I swam years ago and my parents volunteered consistently (though neither was ever crazy enough to be Team Rep! 😉). My parents said those were some of their favorite parenting times. And I learned the value of community and the need to contribute to maintain that community. The kids do see you.

I'm a new summer swim team parent this year and I already see the value in volunteering. I've been one of the clerks of course for three meets, which means I get to know the kids, other parents, and how the meets are run. At each meet where I've volunteered, at least three parents have come up and told me they could "never" do that job or that they actively avoid it. I know herding kids isn't for everyone, but grow up and do your part, FFS. If not CoC, time, run concessions, whatever, but don't just sit around and whine about how hot you are.

So, yeah, it's worth it for my kids and for all the kids on swim team to have this experience. I was an athlete for years and know how meaningful it is. But those parents who don't pull your weight: we see you.

I am a parent who would rather do anything than be a clerk of course. Having to keep other kids in line is like my worst nightmare - I have no leverage to send them to their rooms or dock their allowances which are my best disciplinary tools So I've definitely said this to our CoC, but I am a certified S&T and my husband times sometimes.

If the kids don't listen just move on. One DQ and it will never happen again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad our swim doesn't allow opting out. There are tons of different jobs for people with different schedules. Everyone has to pitch in, even the rich busy people.

OP here. Our team doesn’t allow it either. We need too many volunteers and too many people would opt out. The problem is that there is no real repercussion to being an entitled jerk. You get a few harassing emails and phone calls, but the jerks just ignore them and nothing else happens. But everyone knows who you are. I wish these families would get their registration blocked the following summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids swam for years -- in the summers and all through HS and college; the youngest is now a college sophomore and is coaching. DH and I did our share of volunteering. I agree that yes, it's annoying when people don't volunteer. And, yes, some of the volunteer gigs are unnecessary (though they do contribute to making swim team fun). All that said, my kids have wonderful memories of swim team and are grateful not only for our -- relatively small -- volunteer efforts over the years, but for the work of those parents who made the huge commitment of being A reps. So, know that your kids see you and that you're setting an example of how to build community.

This. I swam years ago and my parents volunteered consistently (though neither was ever crazy enough to be Team Rep! 😉). My parents said those were some of their favorite parenting times. And I learned the value of community and the need to contribute to maintain that community. The kids do see you.

I'm a new summer swim team parent this year and I already see the value in volunteering. I've been one of the clerks of course for three meets, which means I get to know the kids, other parents, and how the meets are run. At each meet where I've volunteered, at least three parents have come up and told me they could "never" do that job or that they actively avoid it. I know herding kids isn't for everyone, but grow up and do your part, FFS. If not CoC, time, run concessions, whatever, but don't just sit around and whine about how hot you are.

So, yeah, it's worth it for my kids and for all the kids on swim team to have this experience. I was an athlete for years and know how meaningful it is. But those parents who don't pull your weight: we see you.

I am a parent who would rather do anything than be a clerk of course. Having to keep other kids in line is like my worst nightmare - I have no leverage to send them to their rooms or dock their allowances which are my best disciplinary tools So I've definitely said this to our CoC, but I am a certified S&T and my husband times sometimes.

If the kids don't listen just move on. One DQ and it will never happen again

Yeah, this isn’t an issue at our pool either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids swam for years -- in the summers and all through HS and college; the youngest is now a college sophomore and is coaching. DH and I did our share of volunteering. I agree that yes, it's annoying when people don't volunteer. And, yes, some of the volunteer gigs are unnecessary (though they do contribute to making swim team fun). All that said, my kids have wonderful memories of swim team and are grateful not only for our -- relatively small -- volunteer efforts over the years, but for the work of those parents who made the huge commitment of being A reps. So, know that your kids see you and that you're setting an example of how to build community.

This. I swam years ago and my parents volunteered consistently (though neither was ever crazy enough to be Team Rep! 😉). My parents said those were some of their favorite parenting times. And I learned the value of community and the need to contribute to maintain that community. The kids do see you.

I'm a new summer swim team parent this year and I already see the value in volunteering. I've been one of the clerks of course for three meets, which means I get to know the kids, other parents, and how the meets are run. At each meet where I've volunteered, at least three parents have come up and told me they could "never" do that job or that they actively avoid it. I know herding kids isn't for everyone, but grow up and do your part, FFS. If not CoC, time, run concessions, whatever, but don't just sit around and whine about how hot you are.

So, yeah, it's worth it for my kids and for all the kids on swim team to have this experience. I was an athlete for years and know how meaningful it is. But those parents who don't pull your weight: we see you.

I am a parent who would rather do anything than be a clerk of course. Having to keep other kids in line is like my worst nightmare - I have no leverage to send them to their rooms or dock their allowances which are my best disciplinary tools So I've definitely said this to our CoC, but I am a certified S&T and my husband times sometimes.

If the kids don't listen just move on. One DQ and it will never happen again

+1. I'm not chasing around the pool property for some 11 year old boy. If they don't swim, I don't care. It usually only takes missing an event once. I also send other kids as my "runners" to find the missing ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your schedule truly doesn't allow for you to volunteer, then find another activity for DC. It's part of the deal.

I was team rep (NVSL) for 4 years. I was blessed with a team/club culture where this generally wasn't a problem. Even the laziest, most obnoxious, difficult, entitled parents pulled their weight (or learned to), and if you ask most of them, they hated the thought of it a lot more than actually doing it. In fact, many (myself included) made family friendships with other parents by timing beside them, selling concessions with them, etc.

Ah there are the martyr parents who won’t let busy/stressed parents join in THEIR activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids swam for years -- in the summers and all through HS and college; the youngest is now a college sophomore and is coaching. DH and I did our share of volunteering. I agree that yes, it's annoying when people don't volunteer. And, yes, some of the volunteer gigs are unnecessary (though they do contribute to making swim team fun). All that said, my kids have wonderful memories of swim team and are grateful not only for our -- relatively small -- volunteer efforts over the years, but for the work of those parents who made the huge commitment of being A reps. So, know that your kids see you and that you're setting an example of how to build community.

This. I swam years ago and my parents volunteered consistently (though neither was ever crazy enough to be Team Rep! 😉). My parents said those were some of their favorite parenting times. And I learned the value of community and the need to contribute to maintain that community. The kids do see you.

I'm a new summer swim team parent this year and I already see the value in volunteering. I've been one of the clerks of course for three meets, which means I get to know the kids, other parents, and how the meets are run. At each meet where I've volunteered, at least three parents have come up and told me they could "never" do that job or that they actively avoid it. I know herding kids isn't for everyone, but grow up and do your part, FFS. If not CoC, time, run concessions, whatever, but don't just sit around and whine about how hot you are.

So, yeah, it's worth it for my kids and for all the kids on swim team to have this experience. I was an athlete for years and know how meaningful it is. But those parents who don't pull your weight: we see you.

I am a parent who would rather do anything than be a clerk of course. Having to keep other kids in line is like my worst nightmare - I have no leverage to send them to their rooms or dock their allowances which are my best disciplinary tools So I've definitely said this to our CoC, but I am a certified S&T and my husband times sometimes.

If the kids don't listen just move on. One DQ and it will never happen again

Yeah, this isn’t an issue at our pool either.

I'm the CoC upthread and yup, it only happens once and they learn quickly. The few kids I've had who miss an event because they wander off and then come running up later in a panic learn very quickly. (Side note to parents of first-time or wandering kids: no, it's not the CoC's job to search for them indefinitely all over the pool grounds. That's also part of your role in swim team--letting them know they need to listen to the other parent volunteers and just generally pay attention.) But really, most of the older kids know the drill, and the younger ones just need a lot of reassurance and repetition about which lane they're in. I can do that.

And to clarify: I have zero issue with parents who won't clerk but who do other roles. As I said before, I'd have major back issues if I had to stand there and time for a 3+ hours, so I appreciate those who do! It's the ones who stride up confidently to tell me how awful my role is and then flit off to scan their phone or gab with their friends rather than volunteering for anything who bug me.

One point about the working/SAHP thing: split shifts are great for this, but plenty of working parents can flex for B meet days and do an early shift, myself included. Not every working parent has crazy rigid schedules and if you do, think carefully about how you'll fulfill your volunteer requirements. That's on you to manage, not on the coaches or meet reps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your schedule truly doesn't allow for you to volunteer, then find another activity for DC. It's part of the deal.

I was team rep (NVSL) for 4 years. I was blessed with a team/club culture where this generally wasn't a problem. Even the laziest, most obnoxious, difficult, entitled parents pulled their weight (or learned to), and if you ask most of them, they hated the thought of it a lot more than actually doing it. In fact, many (myself included) made family friendships with other parents by timing beside them, selling concessions with them, etc.

Ah there are the martyr parents who won’t let busy/stressed parents join in THEIR activity.

Anyone can join swim. We need all the bodies. So not sure what you are referring to. But no, if you are too busy/stressed to pull your family’s weight, then swim is definitely NOT for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really think its a myth that 'stay at home mommies' do all the work and 'working parents' are the problem. If I think about the certified officials on our team (e.g. stroke and turn/ starter/ ref) they are all working parents. Most of them are lawyers Lots of them are dads. I do think that there is a cultural shift and people are less willing to volunteer. I also think that many people are burned out by the pandemic and feel unable to do anything. In a weird way, I think electronic communications have decreased volunteering. It's so easy to 'sign up' volunteers with sign up genius, etc. However its not as personal. Its easy to ignore a sign up genius. Its harder to say no to someone personally asking you to volunteer/ calling you etc.

+1. I'm our pool's volunteer coordinator and every single one of our certified officials are working parents.

+2
In most of my kids activities over the years, working parents were more involved.

Unpopular opinion - I prefer working parents over those who have been stay at home parents for a while. The stay at home parents just seem to get more easily overwhelmed with planning, technology, and so on. Working parents are doing this day in and day out so event planning, basic technology, and so on doesn't stymie them. I found it just takes longer and more effort for the stay at home parents to get things up and running. and yes, this is true for even those who run things every year. It usually because they aren't familiar enough with technology that would make things easier and then when they find it, they don't use it enough to get familiar.

[Anonymous]

I have slow B meet kids and my schedule only lets me volunteer for Saturday morning A meets. So I schlep to Vienna or wherever on Saturday morning for my fair share of volunteering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly this is all sports these days. Millenial parents think the world is comprised of instgram moments and seem to just be unaware that there is a lot of work to get everything done. It was all done for them so they never realized what went into things. Now that the GenX parents have mostly aged out they're like little snowflakes in the spring melt.

I am a gen-x parent, and I do think that we as a generation were basically happy to continue what was always done (though we have definitely benefitted from upgrading technology, especially in mcdl. Millenial parents are more likely to question why are we doing it this way, can we do it more easily (even if it costs more money), etc. I do think it is a cultural shift. I'm not sure it is bad, but, it is certainly different. I do the volunteer coordination at our pool, and our younger parents are signing up to volunteer. It is important to explain the job descriptions well and let younger parents know which jobs are easier if they have little ones underfoot (who aren't old enough to be swimmers). Getting people to volunteer is really about communication. If someone seems nervous, pair them with a friendly more experienced parent so they can learn the ropes of a job, etc. Be friendly and welcoming. Do not assume that some families aren't meeting their volunteer quota. I always have "hall monitor" types who want to discretely ask me if the "Smith Family" is pulling their volunteer weight. In most cases, people meet their volunteer requirement. If you volunteer for extra time, this does not make other people slackers.

I think part of the culture shift has to do with millennials being far more comfortable and knowledgeable about technology and can more quickly think of ways to update processes - even if there is a one time cost - that will ultimately save time and money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really think its a myth that 'stay at home mommies' do all the work and 'working parents' are the problem. If I think about the certified officials on our team (e.g. stroke and turn/ starter/ ref) they are all working parents. Most of them are lawyers Lots of them are dads. I do think that there is a cultural shift and people are less willing to volunteer. I also think that many people are burned out by the pandemic and feel unable to do anything. In a weird way, I think electronic communications have decreased volunteering. It's so easy to 'sign up' volunteers with sign up genius, etc. However its not as personal. Its easy to ignore a sign up genius. Its harder to say no to someone personally asking you to volunteer/ calling you etc.

+1. I'm our pool's volunteer coordinator and every single one of our certified officials are working parents.

+2
In most of my kids activities over the years, working parents were more involved.

Unpopular opinion - I prefer working parents over those who have been stay at home parents for a while. The stay at home parents just seem to get more easily overwhelmed with planning, technology, and so on. Working parents are doing this day in and day out so event planning, basic technology, and so on doesn't stymie them. I found it just takes longer and more effort for the stay at home parents to get things up and running. and yes, this is true for even those who run things every year. It usually because they aren't familiar enough with technology that would make things easier and then when they find it, they don't use it enough to get familiar.

Let me guess....you are a working mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really think its a myth that 'stay at home mommies' do all the work and 'working parents' are the problem. If I think about the certified officials on our team (e.g. stroke and turn/ starter/ ref) they are all working parents. Most of them are lawyers Lots of them are dads. I do think that there is a cultural shift and people are less willing to volunteer. I also think that many people are burned out by the pandemic and feel unable to do anything. In a weird way, I think electronic communications have decreased volunteering. It's so easy to 'sign up' volunteers with sign up genius, etc. However its not as personal. Its easy to ignore a sign up genius. Its harder to say no to someone personally asking you to volunteer/ calling you etc.

+1. I'm our pool's volunteer coordinator and every single one of our certified officials are working parents.

+2
In most of my kids activities over the years, working parents were more involved.

Unpopular opinion - I prefer working parents over those who have been stay at home parents for a while. The stay at home parents just seem to get more easily overwhelmed with planning, technology, and so on. Working parents are doing this day in and day out so event planning, basic technology, and so on doesn't stymie them. I found it just takes longer and more effort for the stay at home parents to get things up and running. and yes, this is true for even those who run things every year. It usually because they aren't familiar enough with technology that would make things easier and then when they find it, they don't use it enough to get familiar.

Yeah, that sounds like your prejudice is coloring what you think you see. Our swim team would wither without our SAHP volunteers.

[Anonymous]

All of our patched officials are working parents and most are dads. LOL

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I volunteer almost every meet--S&T or timing because it makes the meets go faster! My kid is usually swimming until the end for IM or relays so we are staying anyway. I think timing is actually fun. You get to see the races up close and chat with the other timers. S&T can be tough because it requires so much constant focus. To the people who said you don't need 4 S&T, there's a good reason you have 4...you can't see the other side of the pool well enough or the other lanes. Part of summer swim is the kids learning how to do the strokes correctly and DQs are part of that process. We fill out the slip indicating what they did wrong so the coach can work with them. Yes, it's not the olympics, but that doesn't mean we should let the kids continue to swim illegal strokes!

[Anonymous]

All that said, my kids have wonderful memories of swim team and are grateful not only for our -- relatively small -- volunteer efforts over the years, but for the work of those parents who made the huge commitment of being A reps. So, know that your kids see you and that you're setting an example of how to build community.

I don't want to be an A rep, and I have my own volunteer activities that I am interested in. I do the minimum amount of volunteering for swim team required, which to me, is not freeloading. It is doing what the team says I need to do for my kids to participate.