Freeloading swim team parents suck

[Anonymous]

Sadly this is all sports these days. Millenial parents think the world is comprised of instgram moments and seem to just be unaware that there is a lot of work to get everything done. It was all done for them so they never realized what went into things. Now that the GenX parents have mostly aged out they're like little snowflakes in the spring melt.

[Anonymous]

Part of the problem this year, at least for my kid's team, is that they AREN'T doing the points system as in past years. In the pre-COVID days, parents signed up for their volunteering commitment as part of the swim registration process, which was easier both for parents and those running things.

I also think that if some of the over-hyped, I brought my own timer to practice parents would settle down a little more people would be willing to time. I avoid it myself because I don't want them yelling at me, and I volunteer in other roles. I've also been a Little League coach and a Girl Scout leader, so while I see the role of parent volunteers in many kid activities I also think some of the swim people are a little much and don't make me want to do more than what's required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sadly probably a working parent issue. Swim team was historically only SAHM because of practice times, but now with more telework you are getting more working parents.

But working parents would VASTLY prefer to pay hire fees and simply hire refs and timers and upgrade equipment than squander their limited non-work hours doing swim martyr duty.

Cultural divide.

The opt out fee would be insanely expensive, though. Our pool had ten lanes. That's thirty timers for every A and B meet.

There are hundreds of team members. You are talking probably $100 a summer. 100% of working parents would pay that to free their weekends. Most SAHM can afford because they have breadwinner (hence why they don’t work)

umm- I'm a working parent. An extremely hard working parent. Volunteering at meets my kids are swimming in is not hard- its fun. I would never pay an opt out fee to avoid volunteering. I'm at the meet- might as well volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly this is all sports these days. Millenial parents think the world is comprised of instgram moments and seem to just be unaware that there is a lot of work to get everything done. It was all done for them so they never realized what went into things. Now that the GenX parents have mostly aged out they're like little snowflakes in the spring melt.

+1!

[Anonymous]

I really think its a myth that 'stay at home mommies' do all the work and 'working parents' are the problem. If I think about the certified officials on our team (e.g. stroke and turn/ starter/ ref) they are all working parents. Most of them are lawyers Lots of them are dads. I do think that there is a cultural shift and people are less willing to volunteer. I also think that many people are burned out by the pandemic and feel unable to do anything. In a weird way, I think electronic communications have decreased volunteering. It's so easy to 'sign up' volunteers with sign up genius, etc. However its not as personal. Its easy to ignore a sign up genius. Its harder to say no to someone personally asking you to volunteer/ calling you etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sadly probably a working parent issue. Swim team was historically only SAHM because of practice times, but now with more telework you are getting more working parents.

But working parents would VASTLY prefer to pay hire fees and simply hire refs and timers and upgrade equipment than squander their limited non-work hours doing swim martyr duty.

Cultural divide.

The opt out fee would be insanely expensive, though. Our pool had ten lanes. That's thirty timers for every A and B meet.

There are hundreds of team members. You are talking probably $100 a summer. 100% of working parents would pay that to free their weekends. Most SAHM can afford because they have breadwinner (hence why they don’t work)

umm- I'm a working parent. An extremely hard working parent. Volunteering at meets my kids are swimming in is not hard- its fun. I would never pay an opt out fee to avoid volunteering. I'm at the meet- might as well volunteer.

I'm one of the working parents who signed a kid up for swim team for the first time this year. Maybe I'm the problem? I don't know. I can volunteer for things that start after 6pm. While I'm teleworking, I can be around during the day, but I'll the one working on my laptop from the pavilion at 9:30 every morning while my kid practices. Arriving at 4:30 for the "officials meeting" then sitting at the table for an hour waiting for the meet to start isn't going to work. So I sign up for jobs that don't require that, but they are few and far between.

I think you'd have a lot more volunteers if you were willing to accommodate various schedules. I've done some 'split shifts' with SAH parents of young kids who want to arrive at 4:30 and leave when their 6yo finishes at 7pm - I take over then - but some volunteer organizers get annoyed at having swap-outs halfway through the meet. How many more volunteers would you get if people could sign up for either a 4:30-7 shift or a 6:30-9:30? SAH parents of younger kids would take the former, working parents of older kids would take the latter. Parents who can stay all night could continue to do so, but at least they'd have some help from those who can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really think its a myth that 'stay at home mommies' do all the work and 'working parents' are the problem. If I think about the certified officials on our team (e.g. stroke and turn/ starter/ ref) they are all working parents. Most of them are lawyers Lots of them are dads. I do think that there is a cultural shift and people are less willing to volunteer. I also think that many people are burned out by the pandemic and feel unable to do anything. In a weird way, I think electronic communications have decreased volunteering. It's so easy to 'sign up' volunteers with sign up genius, etc. However its not as personal. Its easy to ignore a sign up genius. Its harder to say no to someone personally asking you to volunteer/ calling you etc.

+1. I'm our pool's volunteer coordinator and every single one of our certified officials are working parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sadly probably a working parent issue. Swim team was historically only SAHM because of practice times, but now with more telework you are getting more working parents.

But working parents would VASTLY prefer to pay hire fees and simply hire refs and timers and upgrade equipment than squander their limited non-work hours doing swim martyr duty.

Cultural divide.

The opt out fee would be insanely expensive, though. Our pool had ten lanes. That's thirty timers for every A and B meet.

There are hundreds of team members. You are talking probably $100 a summer. 100% of working parents would pay that to free their weekends. Most SAHM can afford because they have breadwinner (hence why they don’t work)

umm- I'm a working parent. An extremely hard working parent. Volunteering at meets my kids are swimming in is not hard- its fun. I would never pay an opt out fee to avoid volunteering. I'm at the meet- might as well volunteer.

I'm one of the working parents who signed a kid up for swim team for the first time this year. Maybe I'm the problem? I don't know. I can volunteer for things that start after 6pm. While I'm teleworking, I can be around during the day, but I'll the one working on my laptop from the pavilion at 9:30 every morning while my kid practices. Arriving at 4:30 for the "officials meeting" then sitting at the table for an hour waiting for the meet to start isn't going to work. So I sign up for jobs that don't require that, but they are few and far between.

I think you'd have a lot more volunteers if you were willing to accommodate various schedules. I've done some 'split shifts' with SAH parents of young kids who want to arrive at 4:30 and leave when their 6yo finishes at 7pm - I take over then - but some volunteer organizers get annoyed at having swap-outs halfway through the meet. How many more volunteers would you get if people could sign up for either a 4:30-7 shift or a 6:30-9:30? SAH parents of younger kids would take the former, working parents of older kids would take the latter. Parents who can stay all night could continue to do so, but at least they'd have some help from those who can't.

Your team doesn't have A meets on Saturday?

I agree that they should allow split shifts, but I'm also confused how jobs that don't require you to get there early are few and far between. Our team has a ton of A meet jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sadly probably a working parent issue. Swim team was historically only SAHM because of practice times, but now with more telework you are getting more working parents.

But working parents would VASTLY prefer to pay hire fees and simply hire refs and timers and upgrade equipment than squander their limited non-work hours doing swim martyr duty.

Cultural divide.

The opt out fee would be insanely expensive, though. Our pool had ten lanes. That's thirty timers for every A and B meet.

There are hundreds of team members. You are talking probably $100 a summer. 100% of working parents would pay that to free their weekends. Most SAHM can afford because they have breadwinner (hence why they don’t work)

umm- I'm a working parent. An extremely hard working parent. Volunteering at meets my kids are swimming in is not hard- its fun. I would never pay an opt out fee to avoid volunteering. I'm at the meet- might as well volunteer.

I'm one of the working parents who signed a kid up for swim team for the first time this year. Maybe I'm the problem? I don't know. I can volunteer for things that start after 6pm. While I'm teleworking, I can be around during the day, but I'll the one working on my laptop from the pavilion at 9:30 every morning while my kid practices. Arriving at 4:30 for the "officials meeting" then sitting at the table for an hour waiting for the meet to start isn't going to work. So I sign up for jobs that don't require that, but they are few and far between.

I think you'd have a lot more volunteers if you were willing to accommodate various schedules. I've done some 'split shifts' with SAH parents of young kids who want to arrive at 4:30 and leave when their 6yo finishes at 7pm - I take over then - but some volunteer organizers get annoyed at having swap-outs halfway through the meet. How many more volunteers would you get if people could sign up for either a 4:30-7 shift or a 6:30-9:30? SAH parents of younger kids would take the former, working parents of older kids would take the latter. Parents who can stay all night could continue to do so, but at least they'd have some help from those who can't.

for us you could volunteer for meet take down or for concessions shifts. For very large B meets (we're a big team and we do one B meet with another local pool that is also very large), timers officials and judges are also in shifts. Reach out to your team reps- especially if you have older ones- some don't realize that working parents want to volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly this is all sports these days. Millenial parents think the world is comprised of instgram moments and seem to just be unaware that there is a lot of work to get everything done. It was all done for them so they never realized what went into things. Now that the GenX parents have mostly aged out they're like little snowflakes in the spring melt.

I am a gen-x parent, and I do think that we as a generation were basically happy to continue what was always done (though we have definitely benefitted from upgrading technology, especially in mcdl. Millenial parents are more likely to question why are we doing it this way, can we do it more easily (even if it costs more money), etc. I do think it is a cultural shift. I'm not sure it is bad, but, it is certainly different. I do the volunteer coordination at our pool, and our younger parents are signing up to volunteer. It is important to explain the job descriptions well and let younger parents know which jobs are easier if they have little ones underfoot (who aren't old enough to be swimmers). Getting people to volunteer is really about communication. If someone seems nervous, pair them with a friendly more experienced parent so they can learn the ropes of a job, etc. Be friendly and welcoming. Do not assume that some families aren't meeting their volunteer quota. I always have "hall monitor" types who want to discretely ask me if the "Smith Family" is pulling their volunteer weight. In most cases, people meet their volunteer requirement. If you volunteer for extra time, this does not make other people slackers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of the problem this year, at least for my kid's team, is that they AREN'T doing the points system as in past years. In the pre-COVID days, parents signed up for their volunteering commitment as part of the swim registration process, which was easier both for parents and those running things.

I also think that if some of the over-hyped, I brought my own timer to practice parents would settle down a little more people would be willing to time. I avoid it myself because I don't want them yelling at me, and I volunteer in other roles. I've also been a Little League coach and a Girl Scout leader, so while I see the role of parent volunteers in many kid activities I also think some of the swim people are a little much and don't make me want to do more than what's required.

Different roles for different folks. Good for you for finding the role you like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sadly probably a working parent issue. Swim team was historically only SAHM because of practice times, but now with more telework you are getting more working parents.

But working parents would VASTLY prefer to pay hire fees and simply hire refs and timers and upgrade equipment than squander their limited non-work hours doing swim martyr duty.

Cultural divide.

The opt out fee would be insanely expensive, though. Our pool had ten lanes. That's thirty timers for every A and B meet.

There are hundreds of team members. You are talking probably $100 a summer. 100% of working parents would pay that to free their weekends. Most SAHM can afford because they have breadwinner (hence why they don’t work)

umm- I'm a working parent. An extremely hard working parent. Volunteering at meets my kids are swimming in is not hard- its fun. I would never pay an opt out fee to avoid volunteering. I'm at the meet- might as well volunteer.

I'm one of the working parents who signed a kid up for swim team for the first time this year. Maybe I'm the problem? I don't know. I can volunteer for things that start after 6pm. While I'm teleworking, I can be around during the day, but I'll the one working on my laptop from the pavilion at 9:30 every morning while my kid practices. Arriving at 4:30 for the "officials meeting" then sitting at the table for an hour waiting for the meet to start isn't going to work. So I sign up for jobs that don't require that, but they are few and far between.

I think you'd have a lot more volunteers if you were willing to accommodate various schedules. I've done some 'split shifts' with SAH parents of young kids who want to arrive at 4:30 and leave when their 6yo finishes at 7pm - I take over then - but some volunteer organizers get annoyed at having swap-outs halfway through the meet. How many more volunteers would you get if people could sign up for either a 4:30-7 shift or a 6:30-9:30? SAH parents of younger kids would take the former, working parents of older kids would take the latter. Parents who can stay all night could continue to do so, but at least they'd have some help from those who can't.

Your team doesn't have A meets on Saturday?

I agree that they should allow split shifts, but I'm also confused how jobs that don't require you to get there early are few and far between. Our team has a ton of A meet jobs.

not all swimmers swim A meets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sadly probably a working parent issue. Swim team was historically only SAHM because of practice times, but now with more telework you are getting more working parents.

But working parents would VASTLY prefer to pay hire fees and simply hire refs and timers and upgrade equipment than squander their limited non-work hours doing swim martyr duty.

Cultural divide.

The opt out fee would be insanely expensive, though. Our pool had ten lanes. That's thirty timers for every A and B meet.

There are hundreds of team members. You are talking probably $100 a summer. 100% of working parents would pay that to free their weekends. Most SAHM can afford because they have breadwinner (hence why they don’t work)

umm- I'm a working parent. An extremely hard working parent. Volunteering at meets my kids are swimming in is not hard- its fun. I would never pay an opt out fee to avoid volunteering. I'm at the meet- might as well volunteer.

I'm one of the working parents who signed a kid up for swim team for the first time this year. Maybe I'm the problem? I don't know. I can volunteer for things that start after 6pm. While I'm teleworking, I can be around during the day, but I'll the one working on my laptop from the pavilion at 9:30 every morning while my kid practices. Arriving at 4:30 for the "officials meeting" then sitting at the table for an hour waiting for the meet to start isn't going to work. So I sign up for jobs that don't require that, but they are few and far between.

I think you'd have a lot more volunteers if you were willing to accommodate various schedules. I've done some 'split shifts' with SAH parents of young kids who want to arrive at 4:30 and leave when their 6yo finishes at 7pm - I take over then - but some volunteer organizers get annoyed at having swap-outs halfway through the meet. How many more volunteers would you get if people could sign up for either a 4:30-7 shift or a 6:30-9:30? SAH parents of younger kids would take the former, working parents of older kids would take the latter. Parents who can stay all night could continue to do so, but at least they'd have some help from those who can't.

Your team doesn't have A meets on Saturday?

I agree that they should allow split shifts, but I'm also confused how jobs that don't require you to get there early are few and far between. Our team has a ton of A meet jobs.

not all swimmers swim A meets

You can volunteer at a meet your kid doesn't swim at.

[Anonymous]

If your schedule truly doesn't allow for you to volunteer, then find another activity for DC. It's part of the deal.

I was team rep (NVSL) for 4 years. I was blessed with a team/club culture where this generally wasn't a problem. Even the laziest, most obnoxious, difficult, entitled parents pulled their weight (or learned to), and if you ask most of them, they hated the thought of it a lot more than actually doing it. In fact, many (myself included) made family friendships with other parents by timing beside them, selling concessions with them, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids swam for years -- in the summers and all through HS and college; the youngest is now a college sophomore and is coaching. DH and I did our share of volunteering. I agree that yes, it's annoying when people don't volunteer. And, yes, some of the volunteer gigs are unnecessary (though they do contribute to making swim team fun). All that said, my kids have wonderful memories of swim team and are grateful not only for our -- relatively small -- volunteer efforts over the years, but for the work of those parents who made the huge commitment of being A reps. So, know that your kids see you and that you're setting an example of how to build community.

This. I swam years ago and my parents volunteered consistently (though neither was ever crazy enough to be Team Rep! 😉). My parents said those were some of their favorite parenting times. And I learned the value of community and the need to contribute to maintain that community. The kids do see you.

I'm a new summer swim team parent this year and I already see the value in volunteering. I've been one of the clerks of course for three meets, which means I get to know the kids, other parents, and how the meets are run. At each meet where I've volunteered, at least three parents have come up and told me they could "never" do that job or that they actively avoid it. I know herding kids isn't for everyone, but grow up and do your part, FFS. If not CoC, time, run concessions, whatever, but don't just sit around and whine about how hot you are.

So, yeah, it's worth it for my kids and for all the kids on swim team to have this experience. I was an athlete for years and know how meaningful it is. But those parents who don't pull your weight: we see you.

I am a parent who would rather do anything than be a clerk of course. Having to keep other kids in line is like my worst nightmare - I have no leverage to send them to their rooms or dock their allowances which are my best disciplinary tools So I've definitely said this to our CoC, but I am a certified S&T and my husband times sometimes.