Freeloading swim team parents suck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I know we're not really mentioning specific pools here, but I was wondering about Wildwood Pool?

I was thinking about signing my kids up for thr first time next year, but I noticed that some of the parents (moms in particular) are really clique-y and kind of intense... especially mom's of the older kids.

They're always standing around huddled together at practices (and whenever they're at the pool really) and whispering.
I've noticed that it's uncomfortable for the other mom's who aren't included in the huddle... and as ​an introvert, that intimidates me.

One mom has two older boys on the team that are in the same grades and would swim in the same div. as mine and she is truly so fake.

Our kids LOVED swim team at our old pool before we moved, and this was our first summer at Wildwood (we moved midway through the season, so we couldn't sign them up this summer) but we went the whole summer at the pool, and it was obvious, they were pretty blatant.

Im very inclusive, and I don't want to NOT sign them up, just because I don't want to have to deal with phoney, cliquey mom's... but I really don't want to deal with phoney, cliquey mom's, lol.

Anyone here have any experience WITH the team or on the team?

Thank you in advance. ❤

I don't belong to this pool but am sorry you had this impression. One thing to possibly consider is that for many families who have been doing summer swim for years, these are long-time friends. Maybe these particular women are actually phony and cliquey, but maybe it's also that you're new to an environment with existing friend groups. If nothing else this is exactly why you should be volunteering. Timing or concessions, things where you work with others but aren't hyper busy like at clerk of course, are great ways to meet other parents and become a familiar face.

Does the team do social things? See if you can get a list of parent contacts for the kids in your child's age group and reach out to see if they want to plan a skit together for the talent show, or meet up at the pool for playdate and popsicles. You get to know the parents, the kids build more friendship.

[Anonymous]

Plus one to the advice above.
I hate swim team so much, and my kids love it even though they are not the fast swimmers. I focused on supporting it from the inside out as soon as they were old enough to not need me on the deck. Now I run the program. The only problem with this approach is that you are coordinating everything at meets, you are needed, you're "in the clique" but .... on the deck are the a-holes who never volunteer-- which brings us to this thread : FREELOADING SWIM TEAM PARENTS SUCK. But, as I run the program, I'm getting lots of ideas here on mandatory assignments or making kids ineligible for championships if the volunteer requirement is not fulfilled. Every year is better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our pool says you can’t go to the end of year banquet unless your family has done their share of volunteering. Then as the end of the season closes in, the reps keep saying, we mean it, your child can’t go to the banquet/dance and get their certificate etc unless you did your jobs.

I’ve heard other pools take $200 from families and you get i back if and only if you do your share. The problem with that approach is that some families will just write that off and not do the jobs (see: swimming is a pretty affordable summer camp option).

That's dumb. A lot of people don't care about the banquet. Then people think, Oh, I don't care about going to the banquet so I don't have to volunteer.


I think you should take at least $1000 check. Its gotta be painful.

It’s not dumb- it works! Our pool doesn’t have the same issues rustling up volunteers as it seems like others do, and I attribute it to this. The kids LOVE this team, they are super into it, and they would howl if they couldn’t go to the end of year celebration! I really think it’s a good incentive, because it’s something that hits the kids, and not the parents’ pocketbooks, you know?

[Anonymous]

the league should restructure if the events are so dependent on a whole army of volunteers

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

the league should restructure if the events are so dependent on a whole army of volunteers

This

I'm sorry but this is the millennial approach to the world. "I don't like how things are done so they should completely revamp to meet my own family's personal desires."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

the league should restructure if the events are so dependent on a whole army of volunteers

This

I'm sorry but this is the millennial approach to the world. "I don't like how things are done so they should completely revamp to meet my own family's personal desires."

Versus your older genterational approach to the world: inflexible when presented with change, no desire or opennes to change or try a new way; make things so inefficient so you can't possibly break it because it creates job security

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate timing- I suspect I have poor reflexes and am always worried about messing it up. Happy to work concessions though.

I love timing! I really do not like S&T - so unhappy when I have to DQ a little kid.

Love this about the range of volunteer jobs. Our reps always tell us there's something for everyone. I love S&T, hate timing and clerk of course. Have never tried concessions.

There really is. If parents hate the pressure of timing or S&T they can marshal. If they don't want to stand around in the sun they can do awards which literally involves putting stickers on ribbons. yet, there are still parents who chose to do absolutely nothing at every single meet.

Exactly! I posted up thread, but I love being clerk of course. I get to know the kids and other parents, stay busy, and can keep an eye on my kids. Standing or sitting for hours is no good for me physically, but the moving around associated with CoC works well.

I'll probably get certified for S&T once all of my kids are swimming, because it sounds interesting and I'm also good at letting kids and parents down easy if I have to DQ them. And I can handle parents who might protest

I do Stroke and Turn in NVSL and while I hate DQing a kid, they don't know it's me. I write the slip and talk about it with the ref and then it goes to the table and team ref. There's something wrong with how the team is run if you're ever approached by parents or coaches about your DQ call. Those questions are directed to the ref. After B meets, I will engage with parents of kids I know well to explain why their kid DQed or I'll talk to the coaches to explain exactly what I saw on one of our kids so they can work on fixing it. Most of the time, the coaches see it too and don't question it.

Good to know. I'm making assumptions based on having grown up here (MoCo, my kids swim for an MCSL team) and playing sports and seeing what the parents are like. Our team is pretty chill, but some of the others against we compete are... not.

As for issues around racism (I know, separate post), historically, yes, it's an issue, and I'm sure still is in many communities. We live in a racially/ethnically/SES diverse area, and our team reflects that.

I know we're not really mentioning specific pools here, but I was wondering about Wildwood Pool?

I was thinking about signing my kids up for thr first time next year, but I noticed that some of the parents (moms in particular) are really clique-y and kind of intense... especially mom's of the older kids.

They're always standing around huddled together at practices (and whenever they're at the pool really) and whispering.
I've noticed that it's uncomfortable for the other mom's who aren't included in the huddle... and as ​an introvert, that intimidates me.

One mom has two older boys on the team that are in the same grades and would swim in the same div. as mine and she is truly so fake.

Our kids LOVED swim team at our old pool before we moved, and this was our first summer at Wildwood (we moved midway through the season, so we couldn't sign them up this summer) but we went the whole summer at the pool, and it was obvious, they were pretty blatant.

Im very inclusive, and I don't want to NOT sign them up, just because I don't want to have to deal with phoney, cliquey mom's... but I really don't want to deal with phoney, cliquey mom's, lol.

Anyone here have any experience WITH the team or on the team?

Thank you in advance. ❤

I've got multiple kids at Wildwood and have enjoyed it for years. I'm sorry your introduction has not gone well. The team is lots of fun and a fabulous community. I have no idea what to say about whispering moms. It's odd to me that moms of older kids even attend practices (I certainly don't, but both of mine are 15-18). I have volunteered extensively for this team in the past and I have many friends on the team that I only see in the summer. So, we might agree to meet there in the evening and want to catch up. However, even as an old-timer I loved getting to know several new team families this year. The enthusiasm of the new families was just awesome and warmed my heart this year as we didn't have a season last year. I also know that many the swim team committee meetings/conversations happen poolside. Everything from planning the banquet to dealing with personnel discussions related to coaches to organizing food trains for grieving families can happen poolside. So, you may have happened on some minor crisis that was being worked out by these mom's -- who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

the league should restructure if the events are so dependent on a whole army of volunteers

This

I'm sorry but this is the millennial approach to the world. "I don't like how things are done so they should completely revamp to meet my own family's personal desires."

If the millennial approach to the world is "the way things have been done hasn't worked for lots of people, let's find a way that's more efficient and inclusive" then I'm on team millennial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

the league should restructure if the events are so dependent on a whole army of volunteers

This

I'm sorry but this is the millennial approach to the world. "I don't like how things are done so they should completely revamp to meet my own family's personal desires."

Versus your older genterational approach to the world: inflexible when presented with change, no desire or opennes to change or try a new way; make things so inefficient so you can't possibly break it because it creates job security

Versus millenials who have great dreams, and are willing to come up with suggestions, but are piss-poor at execution or finishing what was started. For those who haven't seen it, I recommend this great YouTube video about millenials.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLpE1Pa8vvI

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

the league should restructure if the events are so dependent on a whole army of volunteers

This

I'm sorry but this is the millennial approach to the world. "I don't like how things are done so they should completely revamp to meet my own family's personal desires."

Versus your older genterational approach to the world: inflexible when presented with change, no desire or opennes to change or try a new way; make things so inefficient so you can't possibly break it because it creates job security

And with what $$ do you propose HiRing timers, table workers, announcers, clerk of course. Etc. seriously….. you have NO idea how many people are needed to run these teams and that is just for the meets..don’t forget all the social pieces

[Anonymous]

I do agree.. the younger generation of parents do not seem to understand they have to help. They assume everyone else will do it. The past couple of years have been super hard to get parent engagement of younger kids. As a swim rep, we simply let things go when no one stepped up. Parents got angry..we said you want to run it then it’s back and problem solved. They need skin in the game or for the children to feel some sort of pain to engage. It’s sad and I don’t get why there is so much reluctance to step up by them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

the league should restructure if the events are so dependent on a whole army of volunteers

This

I'm sorry but this is the millennial approach to the world. "I don't like how things are done so they should completely revamp to meet my own family's personal desires."

Versus your older generational approach to the world: inflexible when presented with change, no desire or openness to change or try a new way; make things so inefficient so you can't possibly break it because it creates job security

I've been reading this entire thread and have yet to see an example of a change that doesn't fundamentally impact what summer swim is all about.

Getting rid of stuff like concessions, social functions, and banquets takes away the really fun parts which are especially important for those kids who aren't hard core swimmers but do summer swim because it IS fun.

Getting rid of timers and judges because it isn't necessary for your 7yr old takes away the validity of the competition for those kids and teams for whom that is important since it is, you know, a competitive sport.

Paying for all of these adults is an option - but that cheap summer swim experience becomes many many hundreds of dollars, taking it away from families for whom a $700 summer swim is cost prohibitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

the league should restructure if the events are so dependent on a whole army of volunteers

This

People keep saying this but have no suggestions for how.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do agree.. the younger generation of parents do not seem to understand they have to help. They assume everyone else will do it. The past couple of years have been super hard to get parent engagement of younger kids. As a swim rep, we simply let things go when no one stepped up. Parents got angry..we said you want to run it then it’s back and problem solved. They need skin in the game or for the children to feel some sort of pain to engage. It’s sad and I don’t get why there is so much reluctance to step up by them

Yep! This is the answer. Doing it here next year as well. It provides the new generation an opportunity to re-build only the activities they care about.