Wife Spending Money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the second time in as many days that I think I have been on DCUM way too long. Are you guys the same couple that was moving to Chicago or somewhere in the midwest? I remember that thread where there were two condos under consideration and I think the DW wanted the elevator and the DH wanted the unit with the patio.

I need to disconnect from this site!

OP here. Not me. Never been or lived in the Midwest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg she’s pregnant and nesting.

Agree on a budget and get out of her way!

I think what he is saying is there is no more budget.

But yeah, dude, get used to it or learn to communicate about money and manage expectations because once the kid arrives the pressure to spend will grow exponentially and be unrelenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We have spent over 10k on hardwoods floors in the two bedrooms, painting the condo, and furnishing the condo. We will likely spend another 5k for the baby. That’s on top of paying a large down payment on a $600k condo. We will only be in the condo for maybe 5 years and the changes she will make are purely cosmetic and will not add any value to the condo.

You don't need 5K for the baby but I agree that the condo should be updated.

OP here. It may not be 5k but we are not having a baby registry and will be buying everything. We will need nursery furniture, stroller, swing, bouncer, clothes, bottles, breast pump stuff, diapers and wipes, etc. My wife did a registry just for us to see how much everything would cost and it was close to 5k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5k baby registry? Adopt me?

If nursery furniture (dresser, glider, crib etc) and a bunch of big ticket items like an air purifier, stroller, car seat etc. are on it, that number wouldn't be so hard to reach.

OP here. This. We will not be having a baby registry because we are not having a baby shower. We have the money and do not feel comfortable asking people for gifts. Our parents and friends will probably gift us something but we are buying everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team OP that his wife is being dumb. Most amercians, despite high incomes, don't have enough savings for one random emergency.

Smart families choose mutual priorities, spend some and save the rest. That's how you get ahead. This family already chose floors and painting. The wife shouldn't have a carte blanche to do what she wants, just because they have money left over after paying immediate bills.

I also note his wife is planning to "stay home for a bit" when baby is born - which we all know means there's a 50% chance she won't go back for 10 years. Shifting to one income is not the time you start wasting money....

All that said, i'd probably concede on a few of these items pre baby, because those pregnancy months are stressful and definitely get in your brain, and if you have the money, this may not be the hill to die on (even she is being unreasonable).

PS the person above who said new backsplash is necessary for digital photos to fit in with the right society.... WTF?

OP here. Thanks. Our kitchen is every nice and beautiful. She loved the kitchen when we bought a month ago but now hates it and wants to change it to the exact one we looked at. It’s just not wroth the expense to me.

We do have plenty saved for emergencies, retirement, savings, etc. She will bro be staying home for 10 years.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I will say yes to the kitchen and put a budget on it. I think it’s not worth the money but she can do it.

For this saying I’m controlling, no. We both talk things through and make a die is on together. I usually let her win on everything. She furnished the condo and I let her pick things that were more her preference than mine because she cares more about that stuff than I do.

As for the other condo having stairs - it was legit 9 stairs to the uni. Really not a problem but she didn’t want stairs.

It’s our money. She can spend whatever she wants and I don’t question her spending habits. It will still be our money even when she takes time off to be with the baby.

I will talk about setting up a budget.

[Anonymous]

I have a win/win proposal for you. You can save a fortune on all the baby crap by buying the substantial majority of it used (except for the car seat, buy that new). Take the money you saved from buying baby stuff used and use that for the backsplash.

Getting baby stuff new is generally a rip off and you can get baby stuff in excellent condition on CL or FB Marketplace for 10-20% of the retail price.

[Anonymous]

Why are you choosing not to have a baby registry? Your friends and family will want to celebrate this baby's arrival. If you don't set up a registry, the people that want the baby to have a welcome present won't have any guidance and will just purchase random items you may not desire or need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: For those saying I’m controlling, no.

Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a win/win proposal for you. You can save a fortune on all the baby crap by buying the substantial majority of it used (except for the car seat, buy that new). Take the money you saved from buying baby stuff used and use that for the backsplash.

Getting baby stuff new is generally a rip off and you can get baby stuff in excellent condition on CL or FB Marketplace for 10-20% of the retail price.

Truth. And you don’t need matching nursery suites. A good crib is under $500.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you choosing not to have a baby registry? Your friends and family will want to celebrate this baby's arrival. If you don't set up a registry, the people that want the baby to have a welcome present won't have any guidance and will just purchase random items you may not desire or need.

OP here. We are in a pandemic and will not be having a baby shower. We don’t feel it’s right to ask someone to send us a baby gift when we omg be having a baby shower. We are in a pandemic and people may not be able to afford it. We can afford it and don’t feel it’s right. We will be giving some suggestions to our parents and close friends but that’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you choosing not to have a baby registry? Your friends and family will want to celebrate this baby's arrival. If you don't set up a registry, the people that want the baby to have a welcome present won't have any guidance and will just purchase random items you may not desire or need.

Horrible idea. It's quite tacky to ask people to contribute when this couple decided to have a kid on their own. That's no one else's business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a win/win proposal for you. You can save a fortune on all the baby crap by buying the substantial majority of it used (except for the car seat, buy that new). Take the money you saved from buying baby stuff used and use that for the backsplash.

Getting baby stuff new is generally a rip off and you can get baby stuff in excellent condition on CL or FB Marketplace for 10-20% of the retail price.

OP here. My wife wants everything new. She doesn’t want to buy used items during the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a win/win proposal for you. You can save a fortune on all the baby crap by buying the substantial majority of it used (except for the car seat, buy that new). Take the money you saved from buying baby stuff used and use that for the backsplash.

Getting baby stuff new is generally a rip off and you can get baby stuff in excellent condition on CL or FB Marketplace for 10-20% of the retail price.

Truth. And you don’t need matching nursery suites. A good crib is under $500.

OP here. My wife likes things to match. We will be getting everything to match. We will be buying a nursery set mostly like from PotteryBarn. She really likes those and says they’re high quality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you choosing not to have a baby registry? Your friends and family will want to celebrate this baby's arrival. If you don't set up a registry, the people that want the baby to have a welcome present won't have any guidance and will just purchase random items you may not desire or need.

OP here. We are in a pandemic and will not be having a baby shower. We don’t feel it’s right to ask someone to send us a baby gift when we omg be having a baby shower. We are in a pandemic and people may not be able to afford it. We can afford it and don’t feel it’s right. We will be giving some suggestions to our parents and close friends but that’s it.

Good for you, OP. I know many people who can clearly afford to buy things putting up registries when they’re not even having a baby shower. It’s tacky.