Why does my partner pay $2400 a month child support for one kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He makes like 150k. The mom makes even more than that. Just seems crazy.

That does seem high but nothing he can do.

He can request a modification.

That is risky. 1) It would be expensive to do so. 2) He could end up paying more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2400/month is literally less than 20% of his income. You sound heartless.

This is neither the measurement nor should it be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t seen all the replies but my ex pays $2000 and that’s without the court order. He would have to pay more in alimony and child support if we went to court. His income is 200+ and mine is unemployment. He paid almost the same when I made 65k though.

Forgot to mention I am in CA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2400/month is literally less than 20% of his income. You sound heartless.

Remember Dad pays taxes on his income, and probably provides the health care and more. Mom gets all that money tax free. $2400 is more than most people spend on their kids. Is more than some people earn in a month. Its a lot of money. We spend a lot on our child and don't even come close to that if you average it out over a year (except maybe if you include college savings).

-.+100 the file support we paid for one was much more than the amount we paid for two in our house ( including health insurance, share of utilities and food etc, not just direct kid costs). All while the ex lies about where money and activities came from and never went back to work. I could go on with more... 🙄

We had all kinds of drama. Ex demanded we pay for her health insurance even though kid had always been on Dad's since birth but she didn't want to use it. Dad was ordered to provide insurance. She ended up dropping her insurance and putting him on medicaid as we got a call from medicaid demanding we reimburse them (which we refused as we had insurance for him and they should have done their homework). She'd demand he pay extra for activities and then the kids wouldn't participate. We finally caught on and said tell us where to send the money (company or school) and we'll send it directly and tell us where we buy the uniform/shoes or what ever was needed and sizes and we'll ship it directly to the house. But, hey, no one here wants to hear the other side. And, the braces... we agreed to pay 1/2 per the court order after insurance directly to the orthotist and she refused to use the child support money to pay her half so kid never got them till an adult. They should make people who get child support file yearly like they do with guardianship or social security rep. payee to prove the money is spend on the individual receiving it.

As a parent, the food costs are nominal for an extra kid. Our housing and utility costs are the same. Our big expenses are private lessons and sports and camps (but all of those are optional and I could pick much cheaper ways of doing it). Even so, its not $2000+ a month even with a sleep away camp for a week.

Bologna.

How is it bologna? We bought a house before we had a child. So, same cost as before as we needed a place to live. We see no difference in utility bills. And, food isn't that much and mine are older. So, what other expense are there except activities? Those are optional. And, clothing but I shop clearance so usually the cost is minimal. And, transportation? We have the same cars and would regardless of a child. Many inflate the cost of kids.

It is bologna that "food costs are nominal for an extra kid" (the part I bolded.) If you truly believe that food costs for a kid are "nominal" you must have never had custody of a kid over the age of 8 or 9. This was a topic of discussion on a different thread on DCUM a few days ago--about how much preteens and teens eat, especially if they are athletes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nephew pays $800 a month for one kid with no court involvement, he's paid it for 13 years, totally voluntary. If he did go through the courts it would likely be about half that based on his income and Va laws.

He does it because he wants to.

Ok it costs a ton to raise a kid. $800 isn’t much at all. In the summer camps are $400 a month

Listen to yourself.

FYI activities like camp are typically above and beyond child support and split proportional to income (and must be mutually agreed to by the Ex-spouses)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I could pay someone else to manage all my kid's expenses on only $2400 I'd be coming out way ahead. Infant daycare was $2400 alone.

The $2400 isn’t intended to cover ALL of the expenses. The custodial parent contributes financially as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The crazy thing is that when he has more kids, each won’t get $2400. I make a similar amount and bring home 3k a paycheck (after maxing out retirement and my health insurance)

I know dh and I don’t spend that on our kids a month. We have the same house and cars we did prekids, so those costs would be the same regardless of kids.

Same with us. It costs us no more in housing or electricity as we'd have the house regardless.

Are you a single Mom? Without a child I could live in a 1 bedroom apartment. With a child we need two bedrooms. The cost goes up quite a bit.

No, you don’t “need” that. You want it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2400/month is literally less than 20% of his income. You sound heartless.

Remember Dad pays taxes on his income, and probably provides the health care and more. Mom gets all that money tax free. $2400 is more than most people spend on their kids. Is more than some people earn in a month. Its a lot of money. We spend a lot on our child and don't even come close to that if you average it out over a year (except maybe if you include college savings).

-.+100 the file support we paid for one was much more than the amount we paid for two in our house ( including health insurance, share of utilities and food etc, not just direct kid costs). All while the ex lies about where money and activities came from and never went back to work. I could go on with more... 🙄

We had all kinds of drama. Ex demanded we pay for her health insurance even though kid had always been on Dad's since birth but she didn't want to use it. Dad was ordered to provide insurance. She ended up dropping her insurance and putting him on medicaid as we got a call from medicaid demanding we reimburse them (which we refused as we had insurance for him and they should have done their homework). She'd demand he pay extra for activities and then the kids wouldn't participate. We finally caught on and said tell us where to send the money (company or school) and we'll send it directly and tell us where we buy the uniform/shoes or what ever was needed and sizes and we'll ship it directly to the house. But, hey, no one here wants to hear the other side. And, the braces... we agreed to pay 1/2 per the court order after insurance directly to the orthotist and she refused to use the child support money to pay her half so kid never got them till an adult. They should make people who get child support file yearly like they do with guardianship or social security rep. payee to prove the money is spend on the individual receiving it.

As a parent, the food costs are nominal for an extra kid. Our housing and utility costs are the same. Our big expenses are private lessons and sports and camps (but all of those are optional and I could pick much cheaper ways of doing it). Even so, its not $2000+ a month even with a sleep away camp for a week.

Bologna.

How is it bologna? We bought a house before we had a child. So, same cost as before as we needed a place to live. We see no difference in utility bills. And, food isn't that much and mine are older. So, what other expense are there except activities? Those are optional. And, clothing but I shop clearance so usually the cost is minimal. And, transportation? We have the same cars and would regardless of a child. Many inflate the cost of kids.

It is bologna that "food costs are nominal for an extra kid" (the part I bolded.) If you truly believe that food costs for a kid are "nominal" you must have never had custody of a kid over the age of 8 or 9. This was a topic of discussion on a different thread on DCUM a few days ago--about how much preteens and teens eat, especially if they are athletes.

NP. MAYBE kid eats an extra $400 a month.

I think $2400 a month is crazy. DH makes 150k. That's what our mortgage costs! Our kids are in daycare, so clearly the 3 of them are more than $2400, but we tightened our belts for a few years. I can't imagine if DH were sending $2400 off to a stepkid, we wouldn't be able to afford much of anything. I guess it just gives dads incentive to get full custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nephew pays $800 a month for one kid with no court involvement, he's paid it for 13 years, totally voluntary. If he did go through the courts it would likely be about half that based on his income and Va laws.

He does it because he wants to.

Ok it costs a ton to raise a kid. $800 isn’t much at all. In the summer camps are $400 a month

Listen to yourself.

FYI activities like camp are typically above and beyond child support and split proportional to income (and must be mutually agreed to by the Ex-spouses)

It does not matter what you believe is “extra.” OP’s BF has agreed to that amount or it has been ordered by a court. OP needs to butt out. Not her business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The crazy thing is that when he has more kids, each won’t get $2400. I make a similar amount and bring home 3k a paycheck (after maxing out retirement and my health insurance)

I know dh and I don’t spend that on our kids a month. We have the same house and cars we did prekids, so those costs would be the same regardless of kids.

Same with us. It costs us no more in housing or electricity as we'd have the house regardless.

Are you a single Mom? Without a child I could live in a 1 bedroom apartment. With a child we need two bedrooms. The cost goes up quite a bit.

No, you don’t “need” that. You want it.

So your argument is that OP should tell her BF “go to court and reduce your payment. I don’t care if your ex and child have to move into a 1 bedroom apartment or move away from your child’s school and friends.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nephew pays $800 a month for one kid with no court involvement, he's paid it for 13 years, totally voluntary. If he did go through the courts it would likely be about half that based on his income and Va laws.

He does it because he wants to.

Ok it costs a ton to raise a kid. $800 isn’t much at all. In the summer camps are $400 a month

Listen to yourself.

FYI activities like camp are typically above and beyond child support and split proportional to income (and must be mutually agreed to by the Ex-spouses)

It does not matter what you believe is “extra.” OP’s BF has agreed to that amount or it has been ordered by a court. OP needs to butt out. Not her business.

Honey, it is not what I believe. Or OP. Or her boyfriend. Or the boyfriend’s ex. What I am saying is things like summer camps are considered by the courts to be discretionary big-ticket expenditures that are outside what child support can normally and customarily be expected to cover. Those expenses typically are subjected to mutual agreement and proportional payments that are over and above the child support and either parent had veto power. Please understand how this actually works before you opine. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The crazy thing is that when he has more kids, each won’t get $2400. I make a similar amount and bring home 3k a paycheck (after maxing out retirement and my health insurance)

I know dh and I don’t spend that on our kids a month. We have the same house and cars we did prekids, so those costs would be the same regardless of kids.

Same with us. It costs us no more in housing or electricity as we'd have the house regardless.

Are you a single Mom? Without a child I could live in a 1 bedroom apartment. With a child we need two bedrooms. The cost goes up quite a bit.

No, you don’t “need” that. You want it.

So your argument is that OP should tell her BF “go to court and reduce your payment. I don’t care if your ex and child have to move into a 1 bedroom apartment or move away from your child’s school and friends.”

That is correct. Those are also not the only options. Sharing a larger space with a roommate is another option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nephew pays $800 a month for one kid with no court involvement, he's paid it for 13 years, totally voluntary. If he did go through the courts it would likely be about half that based on his income and Va laws.

He does it because he wants to.

Ok it costs a ton to raise a kid. $800 isn’t much at all. In the summer camps are $400 a month

Listen to yourself.

FYI activities like camp are typically above and beyond child support and split proportional to income (and must be mutually agreed to by the Ex-spouses)

It does not matter what you believe is “extra.” OP’s BF has agreed to that amount or it has been ordered by a court. OP needs to butt out. Not her business.

Honey, it is not what I believe. Or OP. Or her boyfriend. Or the boyfriend’s ex. What I am saying is things like summer camps are considered by the courts to be discretionary big-ticket expenditures that are outside what child support can normally and customarily be expected to cover. Those expenses typically are subjected to mutual agreement and proportional payments that are over and above the child support and either parent had veto power. Please understand how this actually works before you opine. Thanks.

I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. OP’s BF agreed or was ordered to pay that amount. In DC summer camp and tuition costs could be ordered by a court when you earn enough to depart from the default guidelines. And if the BF voluntarily agreed to that amount and the consent agreement was entered in court, it now is a court order likely enforceable by contempt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The crazy thing is that when he has more kids, each won’t get $2400. I make a similar amount and bring home 3k a paycheck (after maxing out retirement and my health insurance)

I know dh and I don’t spend that on our kids a month. We have the same house and cars we did prekids, so those costs would be the same regardless of kids.

Same with us. It costs us no more in housing or electricity as we'd have the house regardless.

Are you a single Mom? Without a child I could live in a 1 bedroom apartment. With a child we need two bedrooms. The cost goes up quite a bit.

No, you don’t “need” that. You want it.

So your argument is that OP should tell her BF “go to court and reduce your payment. I don’t care if your ex and child have to move into a 1 bedroom apartment or move away from your child’s school and friends.”

That is correct. Those are also not the only options. Sharing a larger space with a roommate is another option.

ok well good luck with that! sounds like a great way to blend families.

[Anonymous]

OP what is the point of this thread? If you hear that it's a normal amount, are you going to stop feeling like that money should be available for you (and your future kids)? If you hear that it sounds high, are you going to demand he stop paying it or seek a modification?

This is just really, truly none of your business. You are a girlfriend and this is between co-parents, and very likely the state. If it bothers you, find someone else to date, but you should not presume to have or to voice an opinion on something so far outside of your sphere of influence.