Are you letting your teens hang at friends houses, inside?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD has a friend whose parents truly believe that when she comes here they are outside only. In the rain. Snow. Cold. They are not. The girls are 17/18. We are fine with having her inside because she and her family are super Covid safe.

Just saying you may think your amazing child is following your rules and they might not be. She goes and sits outside on our porch right before they pick her up. If the mother asked me I’d tell her the truth but I’m not goin out if my way to tell her.

Wow. You suck.

And this is why we don’t let our kids socialize with their friends right now. You can’t trust others to follow the rules.

Why do I suck? Seriously- I thought about telling her mom but they are 17 and 18 years old. I did tell my DD that she ought to tell her friend to be more true truthful with her mom. But... hasn’t it always been my house, my rules? That’s how it goes, right? I think it’s on this girl to tell her parents that she is choosing to come indoors at our place. Or maybe your “you suck” is because I let her? In that case, I get it, I guess. But we are also very careful and hopefully not exposing this girl to anything. I don’t know. I feel like people are making decisions based on risk assessments and the threat (or very real presence) of mental health issues. At this point it is what it is.

But you know that the mother has different expectations. Why would you not respect that? I bet you are the mom who lets them drink at your house too. Stop with the mental health issues. Unhappy is not a mental health issue. These kids have myriad ways in which they can interact.

How old are your kids?? Let me guess, young teens that you drive everywhere. Come back with your judgement when they're 18.

If my 18 year old is putting my health at risk over selfish behavior and lying to me, they can find new place to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our teens both hang out with friends, indoors. Yep.

Mine too. And trust me, these other teens are too. Unless these mothers are (a) lying, (b) barricading their kids inside, or (c) going with them everywhere and supervising.

This. If you think your older teens are not hanging out inside you're delusional or don't let your kids out of the house. If you kid can drive and is going somewhere alone odds are they're hanging out with friends whether they tell you or not.

We let ours hand out with friends inside and they tell us when they do. We've done this since summer.

I think some people on here must have younger kids (tweens). They just don't know teens.

[Anonymous]

PP who sucks here. I don’t let kids drink at my house. I do apparently make different risk assessments than many other parents. That’s my prerogative. I also let my kids sit in the front seat before yours I bet. I’m not a crazy anti- vaxxer or anything. I just think at this point it’s more important for my kids to see their friends than be 100% vigilant about Covid. And I agree with the PPs who said- come back when you have older teens.

And to the one who said they’d kick their kid out for endangering them? I doubt you really would. That kind of posturing reminds me of the parents who made similar comments about their kids’ behaviors in ES and MS. When parents are so certain about what they’d do and not do are tiring and not the sort of people I want to be friends with. Life is complex and nuanced. Err on the side of understanding and kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD has a friend whose parents truly believe that when she comes here they are outside only. In the rain. Snow. Cold. They are not. The girls are 17/18. We are fine with having her inside because she and her family are super Covid safe.

Just saying you may think your amazing child is following your rules and they might not be. She goes and sits outside on our porch right before they pick her up. If the mother asked me I’d tell her the truth but I’m not goin out if my way to tell her.

Wow. You suck.

And this is why we don’t let our kids socialize with their friends right now. You can’t trust others to follow the rules.

Why do I suck? Seriously- I thought about telling her mom but they are 17 and 18 years old. I did tell my DD that she ought to tell her friend to be more true truthful with her mom. But... hasn’t it always been my house, my rules? That’s how it goes, right? I think it’s on this girl to tell her parents that she is choosing to come indoors at our place. Or maybe your “you suck” is because I let her? In that case, I get it, I guess. But we are also very careful and hopefully not exposing this girl to anything. I don’t know. I feel like people are making decisions based on risk assessments and the threat (or very real presence) of mental health issues. At this point it is what it is.

But you know that the mother has different expectations. Why would you not respect that? I bet you are the mom who lets them drink at your house too. Stop with the mental health issues. Unhappy is not a mental health issue. These kids have myriad ways in which they can interact.

How old are your kids?? Let me guess, young teens that you drive everywhere. Come back with your judgement when they're 18.

If my 18 year old is putting my health at risk over selfish behavior and lying to me, they can find new place to live.

Ok then. You sound like a very loving and caring parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP who sucks here. I don’t let kids drink at my house. I do apparently make different risk assessments than many other parents. That’s my prerogative. I also let my kids sit in the front seat before yours I bet. I’m not a crazy anti- vaxxer or anything. I just think at this point it’s more important for my kids to see their friends than be 100% vigilant about Covid. And I agree with the PPs who said- come back when you have older teens.

And to the one who said they’d kick their kid out for endangering them? I doubt you really would. That kind of posturing reminds me of the parents who made similar comments about their kids’ behaviors in ES and MS. When parents are so certain about what they’d do and not do are tiring and not the sort of people I want to be friends with. Life is complex and nuanced. Err on the side of understanding and kindness.

You and I could be friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, No sport, no school. Snow on the ground so yea

Oh, well, if there's snow on the ground, that's OK, then. We'll just put the pandemic on pause until it melts.

COVID less risky than depression over the next few weeks for us

COVID and depression are separate issues. If your child is experiencing depression, get them help. You cannot pause the pandemic.

Clearly you have not had to deal with the mental health industry. Even in good times it takes FOREVER to have a kid seen. Get help isn't a helpful or practical suggestion.

If seeing friends inside without a mask fends off depression and anxiety I will let my kid do it. Every day if necessary. The risk of mental health issues > their miminal covid risk. And you can lecture me all day, you won't change my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD has a friend whose parents truly believe that when she comes here they are outside only. In the rain. Snow. Cold. They are not. The girls are 17/18. We are fine with having her inside because she and her family are super Covid safe.

Just saying you may think your amazing child is following your rules and they might not be. She goes and sits outside on our porch right before they pick her up. If the mother asked me I’d tell her the truth but I’m not goin out if my way to tell her.

Wow. You suck.

And this is why we don’t let our kids socialize with their friends right now. You can’t trust others to follow the rules.

Why do I suck? Seriously- I thought about telling her mom but they are 17 and 18 years old. I did tell my DD that she ought to tell her friend to be more true truthful with her mom. But... hasn’t it always been my house, my rules? That’s how it goes, right? I think it’s on this girl to tell her parents that she is choosing to come indoors at our place. Or maybe your “you suck” is because I let her? In that case, I get it, I guess. But we are also very careful and hopefully not exposing this girl to anything. I don’t know. I feel like people are making decisions based on risk assessments and the threat (or very real presence) of mental health issues. At this point it is what it is.

But you know that the mother has different expectations. Why would you not respect that? I bet you are the mom who lets them drink at your house too. Stop with the mental health issues. Unhappy is not a mental health issue. These kids have myriad ways in which they can interact.

How old are your kids?? Let me guess, young teens that you drive everywhere. Come back with your judgement when they're 18.

20 and 18. We have asked them to try not to make us sick and try not do things that would make other people sick. They both have 2-3 friends that they do see only outside. We have heaters, a fire pit and electric blankets we got at Costco. They sit out there for hours listening to music or watching movies on a tv we set up. I don’t think it is unreasonable to ask my children to take my health, my husband’s health and the well being of others into consideration. They can fight in a war, then can make their contribution to this effort. They are both involved in a variety of online activities. Why are people so afraid to ask anything of their kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD has a friend whose parents truly believe that when she comes here they are outside only. In the rain. Snow. Cold. They are not. The girls are 17/18. We are fine with having her inside because she and her family are super Covid safe.

Just saying you may think your amazing child is following your rules and they might not be. She goes and sits outside on our porch right before they pick her up. If the mother asked me I’d tell her the truth but I’m not goin out if my way to tell her.

Wow. You suck.

And this is why we don’t let our kids socialize with their friends right now. You can’t trust others to follow the rules.

Why do I suck? Seriously- I thought about telling her mom but they are 17 and 18 years old. I did tell my DD that she ought to tell her friend to be more true truthful with her mom. But... hasn’t it always been my house, my rules? That’s how it goes, right? I think it’s on this girl to tell her parents that she is choosing to come indoors at our place. Or maybe your “you suck” is because I let her? In that case, I get it, I guess. But we are also very careful and hopefully not exposing this girl to anything. I don’t know. I feel like people are making decisions based on risk assessments and the threat (or very real presence) of mental health issues. At this point it is what it is.

NP here. You are a truly awful person. You know that these parents have decided that YOU are too much of a covid risk, but you just don't care. What it is is that you are selfish and inconsiderate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD has a friend whose parents truly believe that when she comes here they are outside only. In the rain. Snow. Cold. They are not. The girls are 17/18. We are fine with having her inside because she and her family are super Covid safe.

Just saying you may think your amazing child is following your rules and they might not be. She goes and sits outside on our porch right before they pick her up. If the mother asked me I’d tell her the truth but I’m not goin out if my way to tell her.

Wow. You suck.

And this is why we don’t let our kids socialize with their friends right now. You can’t trust others to follow the rules.

Why do I suck? Seriously- I thought about telling her mom but they are 17 and 18 years old. I did tell my DD that she ought to tell her friend to be more true truthful with her mom. But... hasn’t it always been my house, my rules? That’s how it goes, right? I think it’s on this girl to tell her parents that she is choosing to come indoors at our place. Or maybe your “you suck” is because I let her? In that case, I get it, I guess. But we are also very careful and hopefully not exposing this girl to anything. I don’t know. I feel like people are making decisions based on risk assessments and the threat (or very real presence) of mental health issues. At this point it is what it is.

NP here. You are a truly awful person. You know that these parents have decided that YOU are too much of a covid risk, but you just don't care. What it is is that you are selfish and inconsiderate.

So you expect me to change my risk assessments and choices for my family because another family might have different ones? I am careful. Just not hyper vigilant when it comes to my kid having this one friend inside. I am not calling the mom of an 18 year old to tattle on her. And I’m not changing my house rules because yours are different.

[Anonymous]

Yes, let my 15 year DS hang inside with same group of 3-4 friends. he started high school. He needs this. We chose to take the risk.

And the overwhelming evidence since Sept is that kids this age and younger do NOT spread it easily. Period. All my kids schools test weekly and the number of kids testing positive is very small. Eg. zero out of 500 tested two weeks ago. 2 this week.

We have more data now than we had last March.

You do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD has a friend whose parents truly believe that when she comes here they are outside only. In the rain. Snow. Cold. They are not. The girls are 17/18. We are fine with having her inside because she and her family are super Covid safe.

Just saying you may think your amazing child is following your rules and they might not be. She goes and sits outside on our porch right before they pick her up. If the mother asked me I’d tell her the truth but I’m not goin out if my way to tell her.

Wow. You suck.

And this is why we don’t let our kids socialize with their friends right now. You can’t trust others to follow the rules.

Why do I suck? Seriously- I thought about telling her mom but they are 17 and 18 years old. I did tell my DD that she ought to tell her friend to be more true truthful with her mom. But... hasn’t it always been my house, my rules? That’s how it goes, right? I think it’s on this girl to tell her parents that she is choosing to come indoors at our place. Or maybe your “you suck” is because I let her? In that case, I get it, I guess. But we are also very careful and hopefully not exposing this girl to anything. I don’t know. I feel like people are making decisions based on risk assessments and the threat (or very real presence) of mental health issues. At this point it is what it is.

NP here. You are a truly awful person. You know that these parents have decided that YOU are too much of a covid risk, but you just don't care. What it is is that you are selfish and inconsiderate.

So you expect me to change my risk assessments and choices for my family because another family might have different ones? I am careful. Just not hyper vigilant when it comes to my kid having this one friend inside. I am not calling the mom of an 18 year old to tattle on her. And I’m not changing my house rules because yours are different.

No we expect you in a pandemic to be considerate and transparent. You don’t know what their familial risk factors are. You call her up and say : « Hi Jennifer. I know that you prefer for the girls to be outside when they are here. We aren’t going to be able to enforce that. Larla is still welcome here but I wanted you to know. » It is called common decency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP who sucks here. I don’t let kids drink at my house. I do apparently make different risk assessments than many other parents. That’s my prerogative. I also let my kids sit in the front seat before yours I bet. I’m not a crazy anti- vaxxer or anything. I just think at this point it’s more important for my kids to see their friends than be 100% vigilant about Covid. And I agree with the PPs who said- come back when you have older teens.

And to the one who said they’d kick their kid out for endangering them? I doubt you really would. That kind of posturing reminds me of the parents who made similar comments about their kids’ behaviors in ES and MS. When parents are so certain about what they’d do and not do are tiring and not the sort of people I want to be friends with. Life is complex and nuanced. Err on the side of understanding and kindness.

You and I could be friends.

+1

My one kid has one friend that comes over occasionally and they hang out indoors unmasked the whole day. My other kid does an indoor sport (masked) several times a week. Besides that, we take very little risk otherwise. Pick up groceries, work from home, etc. Surviving this situation is about doing your own risk assessment and balancing the needs of all family members.

[Anonymous]

Outside only but they do get within 6 feet of each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD has a friend whose parents truly believe that when she comes here they are outside only. In the rain. Snow. Cold. They are not. The girls are 17/18. We are fine with having her inside because she and her family are super Covid safe.

Just saying you may think your amazing child is following your rules and they might not be. She goes and sits outside on our porch right before they pick her up. If the mother asked me I’d tell her the truth but I’m not goin out if my way to tell her.

Wow. You suck.

And this is why we don’t let our kids socialize with their friends right now. You can’t trust others to follow the rules.

Why do I suck? Seriously- I thought about telling her mom but they are 17 and 18 years old. I did tell my DD that she ought to tell her friend to be more true truthful with her mom. But... hasn’t it always been my house, my rules? That’s how it goes, right? I think it’s on this girl to tell her parents that she is choosing to come indoors at our place. Or maybe your “you suck” is because I let her? In that case, I get it, I guess. But we are also very careful and hopefully not exposing this girl to anything. I don’t know. I feel like people are making decisions based on risk assessments and the threat (or very real presence) of mental health issues. At this point it is what it is.

NP here. You are a truly awful person. You know that these parents have decided that YOU are too much of a covid risk, but you just don't care. What it is is that you are selfish and inconsiderate.

So you expect me to change my risk assessments and choices for my family because another family might have different ones? I am careful. Just not hyper vigilant when it comes to my kid having this one friend inside. I am not calling the mom of an 18 year old to tattle on her. And I’m not changing my house rules because yours are different.

No we expect you in a pandemic to be considerate and transparent. You don’t know what their familial risk factors are. You call her up and say : « Hi Jennifer. I know that you prefer for the girls to be outside when they are here. We aren’t going to be able to enforce that. Larla is still welcome here but I wanted you to know. » It is called common decency.

No it's called neurotic helicopter parent. These kids are 17 and 18. No parent is calling another parent.

[Anonymous]

PP who sucks here. I don’t let kids drink at my house. I do apparently make different risk assessments than many other parents. That’s my prerogative. I also let my kids sit in the front seat before yours I bet. I’m not a crazy anti- vaxxer or anything. I just think at this point it’s more important for my kids to see their friends than be 100% vigilant about Covid. And I agree with the PPs who said- come back when you have older teens.

And to the one who said they’d kick their kid out for endangering them? I doubt you really would. That kind of posturing reminds me of the parents who made similar comments about their kids’ behaviors in ES and MS. When parents are so certain about what they’d do and not do are tiring and not the sort of people I want to be friends with. Life is complex and nuanced. Err on the side of understanding and kindness.

I have several teens. I know that they see most friends outside (because it's usually at our house around our firepit), but we have allowed them to go inside at other's houses to watch a movie, etc. with a mask on. Before you jump in and tell us they are not wearing masks, we know that they are because the parents of the kids that do this have a group text chain and whoever hosts confirms it. The kids know that two parents in the group are older/have health issues, and are respectful of their families. They often eat, but do it outside before masking up for tv.

I do think you have an obligation to the family of the teen who YOU KNOW thinks she is outside, but who hangs out inside. How hard is it to text a parent and say "Just confirming the girls are going to hang out here tonight and watch a movie?" That will make it clear. You could also tell the girl yourself that she has to tell her parents, instead of telling your DD to do it. I suspect you would be pretty distraught if someone in your family exposed that girl to Covid and she gave it to her family. I would definitely have pretty negative feelings about an adult who knew that my teen was engaging in behavior that is risky to my family without me knowing, and did nothing about it.