Braids for white daughter? I want to be culturally appropriate. Help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. We have plenty of braids in white culture. Any white culture. We lived in Africa, girl, and my blonde white dd never wore any kind of African braid. Get a grip. Plus, white hair if not even meant for that kind of braiding!

That’s fine if you want to decide that for your child but you have no right to tell OP or me what’s ok for our kids.

But she asked? So yes, I have a right to offer my opinion.

No. You have zero right to tell someone else what's ok. Mind your own business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a complete idiot though I feel like one now. I know better than to let my kid have braids to match her friend. Could I do french braids instead and put beads in her hair that way? I'm so lost on this. I am an immigrant, sorry for not understanding. I am trying.

Every troll claims to be an immigrant.

I am not OP, but I am also an immigrant trying to understand. Would it be ok to say to a black kid not to do something because it is a “white thing”. I understand the debate for older kids or adults. But don’t we want to foster real empathy and friendship between kids of different backgrounds?

No. One of the reasons why putting a white child in box braids is inappropriate has to do with the history around white majority culture policing Black women's hair. If something is "ghetto" when a Black child does it, but "cute" when a white child does it, then it is not something the white child should be doing.

I'm curious if you are black?
I'm one of the black moms above who thinks it's fine.
Little black girls in braids is not "ghetto."

It isn’t ghetto, but people treat it like it is. In fact, there are lots of schools —public, charter, and private— that do not allow little black girls to wear cornrows and beads. Our hair is so policed, but Kylie and Bo are celebrated for the same styles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do one braid with beads ... I see tons of girls with beads in their hair at school and they are all different races / I would not personally do a whole head of corn style braids -

+1. I think there is a big difference between a few thin braids and beads (with the rest of her hair loose) and a standard AA style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a complete idiot though I feel like one now. I know better than to let my kid have braids to match her friend. Could I do french braids instead and put beads in her hair that way? I'm so lost on this. I am an immigrant, sorry for not understanding. I am trying.

Every troll claims to be an immigrant.

I am not OP, but I am also an immigrant trying to understand. Would it be ok to say to a black kid not to do something because it is a “white thing”. I understand the debate for older kids or adults. But don’t we want to foster real empathy and friendship between kids of different backgrounds?

No. One of the reasons why putting a white child in box braids is inappropriate has to do with the history around white majority culture policing Black women's hair. If something is "ghetto" when a Black child does it, but "cute" when a white child does it, then it is not something the white child should be doing.

I'm curious if you are black?
I'm one of the black moms above who thinks it's fine.
Little black girls in braids is not "ghetto."

It isn’t ghetto, but people treat it like it is. In fact, there are lots of schools —public, charter, and private— that do not allow little black girls to wear cornrows and beads. Our hair is so policed, but Kylie and Bo are celebrated for the same styles.

I'm shocked that a public school in the US could have such a rule without being sued for the blatant racism. I do agree that black people's hair is policed but I don't think the answer is to then shame anyone else who wants similar hair styles. Maybe it would feel good (what's good for the goose is good for the gander, and all that) but it doesn't ultimately help the goal of having our hair be considered part of the mainstream, not as 'other' or 'unprofessional.' In fact, girls like OP's daughter is a way to get to that goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a complete idiot though I feel like one now. I know better than to let my kid have braids to match her friend. Could I do french braids instead and put beads in her hair that way? I'm so lost on this. I am an immigrant, sorry for not understanding. I am trying.

Every troll claims to be an immigrant.

I am not OP, but I am also an immigrant trying to understand. Would it be ok to say to a black kid not to do something because it is a “white thing”. I understand the debate for older kids or adults. But don’t we want to foster real empathy and friendship between kids of different backgrounds?

No. One of the reasons why putting a white child in box braids is inappropriate has to do with the history around white majority culture policing Black women's hair. If something is "ghetto" when a Black child does it, but "cute" when a white child does it, then it is not something the white child should be doing.

I'm curious if you are black?
I'm one of the black moms above who thinks it's fine.
Little black girls in braids is not "ghetto."

It isn’t ghetto, but people treat it like it is. In fact, there are lots of schools —public, charter, and private— that do not allow little black girls to wear cornrows and beads. Our hair is so policed, but Kylie and Bo are celebrated for the same styles.

I'm shocked that a public school in the US could have such a rule without being sued for the blatant racism. I do agree that black people's hair is policed but I don't think the answer is to then shame anyone else who wants similar hair styles. Maybe it would feel good (what's good for the goose is good for the gander, and all that) but it doesn't ultimately help the goal of having our hair be considered part of the mainstream, not as 'other' or 'unprofessional.' In fact, girls like OP's daughter is a way to get to that goal.

So if white people start doing it, it will become acceptable? That’s what it will take? It is not good enough if only black people do it? That’s what I am hearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG

+1

That is the state of things now pp. Thank god it is only in this backwaters country.

?

Seriously? Wny does EVERYTHING has to be about race!?

Living in a country with a history that includes stuff like Plessy vs Ferguson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Sounds like you met your first black person in college or something with this question. Every white kid I know, myself included, has the memory of up wanting cool braids with beads, afro puffs, any cute hairstyle they saw on their friends. It doesn't kill that white kid to learn that not everything is for you.

I don't think all white kids desired these hairstyles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. We have plenty of braids in white culture. Any white culture. We lived in Africa, girl, and my blonde white dd never wore any kind of African braid. Get a grip. Plus, white hair if not even meant for that kind of braiding!

That’s fine if you want to decide that for your child but you have no right to tell OP or me what’s ok for our kids.

But she asked? So yes, I have a right to offer my opinion.

No. You have zero right to tell someone else what's ok. Mind your own business.

There is no ‘minding your own business’ on DCUM! Lol!

Anyway—-OP, the braids are fine.

[Anonymous]

There's no such thing as cultural appropriation. It's a term invented by woke warriors to intensify identity politics because they get a thrill out of perpetually victimizing people as oppressed deserving of special attention and care (in other words they are not capable of standing on their own without the help of liberal white SJW). The concept of cultural appropriation is a political and cultural tool that is used to mask righteous dogma and bigotry and judgment so that some people can derive a false sense of superiority by doing the "right" thing and satisfaction in sneering at others who aren't doing the "right" thing.

Just do what you want to do. No one owns braids just as no one owns hair straighteners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a complete idiot though I feel like one now. I know better than to let my kid have braids to match her friend. Could I do french braids instead and put beads in her hair that way? I'm so lost on this. I am an immigrant, sorry for not understanding. I am trying.

Every troll claims to be an immigrant.

I am not OP, but I am also an immigrant trying to understand. Would it be ok to say to a black kid not to do something because it is a “white thing”. I understand the debate for older kids or adults. But don’t we want to foster real empathy and friendship between kids of different backgrounds?

No. One of the reasons why putting a white child in box braids is inappropriate has to do with the history around white majority culture policing Black women's hair. If something is "ghetto" when a Black child does it, but "cute" when a white child does it, then it is not something the white child should be doing.

I'm curious if you are black?
I'm one of the black moms above who thinks it's fine.
Little black girls in braids is not "ghetto."

It isn’t ghetto, but people treat it like it is. In fact, there are lots of schools —public, charter, and private— that do not allow little black girls to wear cornrows and beads. Our hair is so policed, but Kylie and Bo are celebrated for the same styles.

I'm shocked that a public school in the US could have such a rule without being sued for the blatant racism. I do agree that black people's hair is policed but I don't think the answer is to then shame anyone else who wants similar hair styles. Maybe it would feel good (what's good for the goose is good for the gander, and all that) but it doesn't ultimately help the goal of having our hair be considered part of the mainstream, not as 'other' or 'unprofessional.' In fact, girls like OP's daughter is a way to get to that goal.

So if white people start doing it, it will become acceptable? That’s what it will take? It is not good enough if only black people do it? That’s what I am hearing.

NP. I am African-American and I totally agree with the bolded above. Our natural hair when held to the European standard of beauty is often reviled. It's only when a white person wears that same style does it become acceptable and "cute' or "beautiful".

I think if OP is going to do this she should provide the historical context of black hair and why we wear our hair in protective styles. The curl anatomy of our hair is very fragile and braids in one way to protect it and promote growth. Excessive heat and chemicals that are used on black hair may make it "long and flowy" but it comes at a high cost of heat damage and sometimes loss of growth.

I have a daughter who wanted nothing more to have long flowy hair like her white classmates and we have had many conversations where I explained to her that our hair is different. I don't understand why OP cannot explain that to her daughter that her hair is vastly different from her bff and also that everything is not for you.

My final thought for OP is logistically how are you going to have these braids installed? Do you understand that your daughter will have to sit still for hours? Have you explained to your daughter that the texture of her hair might mean that they last for a day or two? What about upkeep?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's no such thing as cultural appropriation. It's a term invented by woke warriors to intensify identity politics because they get a thrill out of perpetually victimizing people as oppressed deserving of special attention and care (in other words they are not capable of standing on their own without the help of liberal white SJW). The concept of cultural appropriation is a political and cultural tool that is used to mask righteous dogma and bigotry and judgment so that some people can derive a false sense of superiority by doing the "right" thing and satisfaction in sneering at others who aren't doing the "right" thing.

Just do what you want to do. No one owns braids just as no one owns hair straighteners.

Have you discussed with any (other, if you are black) black people you know if they think there's no such thing? Lots of black people are offended by appropriation of their culture. It's not white people who brought this up originally!

We explain differences to young children about lots of things: hair, special needs, race, language, culture, etc. I think it's fine to say "Larla has a different type of hair than yours, it's able to hold small braids together but you have very fine hair that will come apart. Let's pick a thicker braided style that works for fine hair."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a complete idiot though I feel like one now. I know better than to let my kid have braids to match her friend. Could I do french braids instead and put beads in her hair that way? I'm so lost on this. I am an immigrant, sorry for not understanding. I am trying.

Every troll claims to be an immigrant.

I am not OP, but I am also an immigrant trying to understand. Would it be ok to say to a black kid not to do something because it is a “white thing”. I understand the debate for older kids or adults. But don’t we want to foster real empathy and friendship between kids of different backgrounds?

No. One of the reasons why putting a white child in box braids is inappropriate has to do with the history around white majority culture policing Black women's hair. If something is "ghetto" when a Black child does it, but "cute" when a white child does it, then it is not something the white child should be doing.

I'm curious if you are black?
I'm one of the black moms above who thinks it's fine.
Little black girls in braids is not "ghetto."

It isn’t ghetto, but people treat it like it is. In fact, there are lots of schools —public, charter, and private— that do not allow little black girls to wear cornrows and beads. Our hair is so policed, but Kylie and Bo are celebrated for the same styles.

I agree...Another Black mom here and also think this would be fine. While many hairstyles have over the years been attributed to certain cultures, I wouldn't look at a 5 year old in braids and think that she or her parents were "culturally appropriating." There is no issue with her having braids and beads.

[Anonymous]

I suggest French braids too

[Anonymous]

Hair salons can do braiding for cheap. I'd get her hair braided at Supercuts or something and get her some pony tail holders with the beads.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/760496132/hair-bobble-ponytail-ties-for-girls?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=beaded+hair+ties&ref=sr_gallery-1-3

[Anonymous]

Braid away! No one "owns" a hair style.