Reply to Braids for white daughter? I want to be culturally appropriate. Help!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not a complete idiot though I feel like one now. I know better than to let my kid have braids to match her friend. Could I do french braids instead and put beads in her hair that way? I'm so lost on this. I am an immigrant, sorry for not understanding. I am trying.[/quote]

Every troll claims to be an immigrant.[/quote]

I am not OP, but I am also an immigrant trying to understand. Would it be ok to say to a black kid not to do something because it is a “white thing”. I understand the debate for older kids or adults. But don’t we want to foster real empathy and friendship between kids of different backgrounds?[/quote]

[b]No. One of the reasons why putting a white child in box braids is inappropriate has to do with the history around white majority culture policing Black women's hair. If something is "ghetto" when a Black child does it, but "cute" when a white child does it, then it is not something the white child should be doing.[/b] [/quote]

I'm curious if you are black?
I'm one of the black moms above who thinks it's fine.
Little black girls in braids is not "ghetto."[/quote]

[b]It isn’t ghetto, but people treat it like it is. In fact, there are lots of schools —public, charter, and private— that do not allow little black girls to wear cornrows and beads. Our hair is so policed, but Kylie and Bo are celebrated for the same styles.[/quote][/b]

I'm shocked that a public school in the US could have such a rule without being sued for the blatant racism. I do agree that black people's hair is policed but I don't think the answer is to then shame anyone else who wants similar hair styles. Maybe it would feel good (what's good for the goose is good for the gander, and all that) but it doesn't ultimately help the goal of having our hair be considered part of the mainstream, not as 'other' or 'unprofessional.' In fact, girls like OP's daughter is a way to get to that goal.[/quote]

[b]So if white people start doing it, it will become acceptable? That’s what it will take? It is not good enough if only black people do it? That’s what I am hearing.[/quote]

[/b]

NP.  I am African-American and I totally agree with the bolded above.  Our natural hair when held to the European standard of beauty is often reviled.  It's only when a white person wears that same style does it become acceptable and "cute' or "beautiful".

I think if OP is going to do this she should provide the historical context of black hair and why we wear our hair in protective styles.  The curl anatomy of our hair is very fragile and braids in one way to protect it and promote growth.  Excessive heat and chemicals that are used on black hair may make it "long and flowy" but it comes at a high cost of heat damage and sometimes loss of growth.

I have a daughter who wanted nothing more to have long flowy hair like her white classmates and we have had many conversations where I explained to her that our hair is different.  I don't understand why OP cannot explain that to her daughter that her hair is vastly different from her bff and also that everything is not for you.

My final thought for OP is logistically how are you going to have these braids installed? Do you understand that your daughter will have to sit still for hours?  Have you explained to your daughter that the texture of her hair might mean that they last for a day or two?  What about upkeep?  [/quote]

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