Braids for white daughter? I want to be culturally appropriate. Help!

[Anonymous]

My daughter is white. Blond haired blue eyed pale white. Her best friend is African American. Best friend wears her hair in tiny braids and sometimes has colorful beads in her hair. My kid wants braids. And beads. The girls are 5 years old. They want to match because they are best friends since they remember. What can I do that is appropriate and will be a good fit? My kid is too young to understand culturally appropriate choices. Help?

[Anonymous]

OMG

[Anonymous]

Nope. Sounds like you met your first black person in college or something with this question. Every white kid I know, myself included, has the memory of up wanting cool braids with beads, afro puffs, any cute hairstyle they saw on their friends. It doesn't kill that white kid to learn that not everything is for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG

+1

That is the state of things now pp. Thank god it is only in this backwaters country.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. This sucks. It’s so hard to explain to your daughter that she cannot wear this style - it seems unfair and won’t make sense to her. Just remember that black parents have to have conversations about unfairness for subject matters much more dire than hairstyles.

[Anonymous]

I think she could have one braid with beads.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a complete idiot though I feel like one now. I know better than to let my kid have braids to match her friend. Could I do french braids instead and put beads in her hair that way? I'm so lost on this. I am an immigrant, sorry for not understanding. I am trying.

[Anonymous]

We live in a free country. If the girls want to be twins, let them be twins. OMG! Enough of this B.S.

[Anonymous]

Sorry I think it’s cultural appropriation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a complete idiot though I feel like one now. I know better than to let my kid have braids to match her friend. Could I do french braids instead and put beads in her hair that way? I'm so lost on this. I am an immigrant, sorry for not understanding. I am trying.

French braids would be cute. Get them friendship bracelets or something that can match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a complete idiot though I feel like one now. I know better than to let my kid have braids to match her friend. Could I do french braids instead and put beads in her hair that way? I'm so lost on this. I am an immigrant, sorry for not understanding. I am trying.

Every troll claims to be an immigrant.

[Anonymous]

Do you have the braiding skills to do this? I would steer clear of beads though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have the braiding skills to do this? I would steer clear of beads though.

This is a bit difficult I think but I can do the regular French braids. I will try that.

[Anonymous]

lol I think say can do straight back braids and that’s it

But other than that it doesn’t work for her and it wouldn’t look good

[Anonymous]

It's fine. Do the braids and beads and let them match. Some people will consider you clueless and offensive. But it's totally normal for kids to want to be twinsies. She knows she is different from her best friend but she wants to imitate her and that is normal. But please, do not explain cultural appropriation to a 4 year old. This is a novel concept that will likely transition to a more enlightened view that, for example, kids can dress up as twins.

I sent my kid to a preschool where she was the only white kid. For her self portrait, she drew herself with blonde hair and black skin. Identity is fragile at that age and they want to belong. No one said a word to her about it, and that was the right answer.