Braids for white daughter? I want to be culturally appropriate. Help!

[Anonymous]

Your bigger problem is going to be actually doing it! I assume you don’t know how to do that kind of fine braiding as if her hair is as straight as you say, it’s not going to work unless you make them very tight.

[Anonymous]

We were in the Bahamas last year and 2 local women asked me if I wanted my hair braided on the beach. I declined but they did DDs, with beads. She was 8. She loved it and we paid for them. It was their business. Was that not ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s ridiculous to impose adult racist nonsense on two innocent children who clearly have no sense of any such thing between them. People have a right to look how they want to, even 5 year olds. Getting all wrapped around an axle about something like this, in the name of “equity” or whatever, is what perpetuates racial conflict by reducing people to the color of their skin.

OP should be pleased and proud that her daughter is an open and non-racially obsessed person

+1. Show her a picture of Bo Derek in braids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s ridiculous to impose adult racist nonsense on two innocent children who clearly have no sense of any such thing between them. People have a right to look how they want to, even 5 year olds. Getting all wrapped around an axle about something like this, in the name of “equity” or whatever, is what perpetuates racial conflict by reducing people to the color of their skin.

OP should be pleased and proud that her daughter is an open and non-racially obsessed person

Most 5 year olds are open and non-racially obsessed. It's the parent's job to keep them that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s ridiculous to impose adult racist nonsense on two innocent children who clearly have no sense of any such thing between them. People have a right to look how they want to, even 5 year olds. Getting all wrapped around an axle about something like this, in the name of “equity” or whatever, is what perpetuates racial conflict by reducing people to the color of their skin.

OP should be pleased and proud that her daughter is an open and non-racially obsessed person

+1. Show her a picture of Bo Derek in braids.

If you can find a picture of Bo Derek in braids that's appropriate for a 5 year old to emulate, then good luck.

[Anonymous]

Were you planning to do this yourself? Will her hair will stay in braids or twists without unraveling? In your place, I’d probably do one or two French braids and ribbons or hair ties rather than beads. And with parental permission, maybe suggest other ways that the two kids can match. I like the PP’s idea of jewelry — matching bracelets or necklaces or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were you planning to do this yourself? Will her hair will stay in braids or twists without unraveling? In your place, I’d probably do one or two French braids and ribbons or hair ties rather than beads. And with parental permission, maybe suggest other ways that the two kids can match. I like the PP’s idea of jewelry — matching bracelets or necklaces or something like that.

I realize that I didn’t speak to the cultural issues because I was thinking of the personal ones. If your kid copies another kid’s distinctive hairstyle— that may or may not be viewed positively by the other kid, so that’s something to consider. Also, if your daughter has a very different hair type, trying for the same style as her friend might not give her the results that she wants. Again, with parental consent, I’d try to find other ways for the kids to match — ideally including both girls and a parent of each kid in the discussion. The most important issue is how the friend and her parents might view your daughter’s wish to match, and how their responses might impact your daughter’s wish.

[Anonymous]

5 year olds don't want to culturally appropriate things. Its fine.

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with a little girl wanting to match her friends hairstyle? This country is going insane.

[Anonymous]

Do two regular or French braids with cute, colorful elastic ties that have baubles. She’ll love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do two regular or French braids with cute, colorful elastic ties that have baubles. She’ll love it.

I'd do this. Maybe some beads at the ends. Partly because of appropriation, but more because if her hair is anything like mine growing up (fine, blonde, little of it) with fair skin it is blazing hot right now and this style is a recipe for wicked scalp sunburn.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe that people are suggesting that a little girl is not allowed to style her hair so that she and her BEST FRIEND WHO IS *BLACK* can be twins... and that if the mom lets her FIVE YEAR OLD daughter do it then they're all racist.

I literally can't believe it. There is something REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wrong with anyone who has a problem with this.

Let your little girl and her friend have some fun, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a free country. If the girls want to be twins, let them be twins. OMG! Enough of this B.S.

No kidding. Op my 6 year old white dd loved braids and beads. I’m sorry I didn’t ask permission here first.

+2
The absurdity is deafening. I would absolutely let them be twins. How fun for both girls.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a mostly white part of Long Island, NY. Every time a white Jewish girl came back from an island vacation, we all knew it because she had one tiny braid with either thread or beads.

I don't know how the (very) few black girls felt - there were literally like two black girls in a middle school of 750 students. I actually just looked up the racial demographics and right now they have NO black students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm a mixed-race foreigner and don't understand the American concept of cultural appropriation at all. It doesn't exist in other countries. It seems to be another one of these self-flagellation concepts that privileged people add to their lives because they have nothing of importance to worry about.

I say your daughter can have braids, whatever kind she wants.

And if anyone wants to dress up as someone from any of my two cultures, they're welcome to.

+1 million, especially the bolded.