How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD (6) thinks things will go back to normal soon. She obviously can't grasp the full impact of the situation yet, and thinks that one day she'll be able to see her grandparents, not a wear a mask, travel, hug friends, attend school. I've been very non-committal about the future because I don't want to negatively affect her mental health, but at some point she'll need to understand that things are different now and won't ever go back. I'm actually wondering if I'm doing her a disservice by putting it off, but I'm dreading it.

Anyway, how and when do you plan on having this conversation?

Listen - and I'm not being ironic here - you need help. Do you have a therapist you can talk to?
People freaking WILL (and some still do!) hug friends, attend school (some privates will be open as soon as this August), travel, and even ditch masks, eventually. A year from now, everything will be back to normal.
Reading some posts here, you'd think an asteroid hit the Earth and the surviving 50 humans all frequent DCUM. "Things are different now and won't ever go back". Geez.

Interesting. You've not heard the term "new normal" either? And you do realize the government never drops restrictions they institute, right?

I think you should go back to your social studies class. Seriously.

Right? I mean, I'm pretty sure at some point they lifted the rations they instituted during WWII. Or wait, do we still have to limit our use of butter? Maybe we do and I just forgot.

I don’t know what the point of arguing here is. I studied abroad in college in the fall 2001. When I left in July 2001, my parents waited at the gate with me until I boarded the flight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh? Haven't you been discussing it all along. Sounds like its a parenting issue.

She's 6. Explaining that her life is over is kinda tough, O Super Parent.

This. OP you’re being overdramatic. Experts say life may go back to normal by 2022. Maybe earlier, who knows. If your child is 6, that will be about 2 years of this. That means she’s got about 80 more years of a normal life of joys, sorrows, successes and setbacks.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am trying to say this kindly, but your anxiety and mental health issues will hurt your daughter. Please don't over-dramatize this in front of her.

Many many people are still seeing grandparents, traveling and hugging friends now -- to suggest she won't do these things in her lifetime (at 6!!) is completely ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:So... mine is 6 too. We talk about it a lot, but in a certain way. Factual but light...we set the tone, they adopt it. "yeah this might be one really weird school year! but one out of life isnt that bad right? at least we get to hang out!" "Its so awesome we have zoom to talk to grandpa during the germ problem, imagine if we didnt!" and I tell them we do not know if a vaccine will come for years, but, the scientists are working and will probably find some good treatments and things will ease up in a year. We have sprinkled these comments throughout the last few months adn it has helped. At first they thought it would be better by summer, but now they know its taking longer and we all just float on.

Problem is, DH is telling her we can go see people next summer without masks. This is super irresponsible since we all know the restrictions won't ever be lifted, but I'm the one who'll get to comfort a crying child when she finds out he lied, so what does he care?

They won’t EVER be lifted? Op you sound dramatic and pathetic, get a grip!

Huh? How am I being dramatic and pathetic? Voters don't WANT them lifted. Shoppers don't WANT them lifted. My friends are all freaking. New normal, remember?

They don't want them lifted *right now,* you flippin' moron.

Stop engaging this crazy. She’s either insane or she’s just trolling you. If someone is really telling their 6 year old they’ll never travel or hug someone ever again in their life, they need help and that poor kid needs help. I hope the father is working hard to counter her crazy, seems like this could do some serious harm to the mental health of a 6 yr old. Also, this ‘new normal’ poster is an idiot who missed the ‘TEMPORARY new normal” part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is obviously a troll. I can't believe you all fell for it. "The government never relaxes restrictions once they're in place" was the tell.

You guys can't be this dumb. They relaxed the lockdown and made us wear masks. First they were requiring them on planes, now it's at airports. First it was when you couldn't social distance, now it's all the time in public. That's not lifting restrictions. It's actually increasing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t plan to ever let her see her grandparents? Most people are still seeing relatives. Ours live far away so it will be more challenging, but we’ll find a way to visit safely.

Both sets are across the country and with state quarantine restrictions, it's impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait. You aren’t letting her see her grandparents? Wow

State quarantine restrictions forbid it. We don't have 14 days of vacation to spend in a hotel once we get there. Is everyone's family local or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It won’t ever go back? Are you this dramatic in real life? Life will eventually go back to normal. That’s how you explain it.

Odd that you've never heard the term "new normal" over the past few months. Is your hearing always this selective?

Oh for gods sake. The new normal after all this won’t even be noticeably different. Stop being overly dramatic. A year from now people will be doing everything they did before the pandemic. Frankly, probably in less time than that.

This. In fact, it will probably be closer to Nov 5.

This is funny. Biden has said he plans on increasing restrictions. And if Trump wins, God forbid, the Democrats will keep them in place to spite him. Not sure where November 5 comes from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD (6) thinks things will go back to normal soon. She obviously can't grasp the full impact of the situation yet, and thinks that one day she'll be able to see her grandparents, not a wear a mask, travel, hug friends, attend school. I've been very non-committal about the future because I don't want to negatively affect her mental health, but at some point she'll need to understand that things are different now and won't ever go back. I'm actually wondering if I'm doing her a disservice by putting it off, but I'm dreading it.

Anyway, how and when do you plan on having this conversation?

We have been incredibly cautious about this whole thing so we don't think the virus is a hoax and my husband is a pessimist but even he wouldn't say these things will NEVER happen again. Come on.

Do you know what new normal means?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It won’t ever go back? Are you this dramatic in real life? Life will eventually go back to normal. That’s how you explain it.

It won’t. The half-life of antibodies is 36 days. There will never be an effective vaccine.

Not true about B cells and T cells. I hate armchair epidemiologists and immunologists who literally don’t understand how the immune system works. Immunity will be more durable than flu. Many promising vaccines and treatments so far—a few in phase 3. You only want to live in the negative. You need help. You are in a dark place.

As for your daughter, just be honest. Don’t tell her she will never do these things again because actually that’s patently false and of your own making. We are very honest with my 3.5 year old who missed school, friends, relatives, visiting special places. We say there are germs that are brand new that are making people, especially people grandma and grandpa’s age really sick. But luckily little kids like you don’t seem very effected. So to prevent spreading it you will see people in masks more including us, you will need to wear a mask sometimes, we wash hands when we come inside. Many places are closed so we need to have fun at home. One day you’ll go to school again! And one day we will have a great big party because this will all be over—what thing would you like to do first when that happens?

Because newsflash. This is going to end. It may take a year or two but it will get incrementally better. There will be a vaccine and therapies. Please do not tell your daughter that she will never do these things again. It is not based in reality.

I (OP) didn't write anything about the vaccine.

Weird about planning a party. Worst thing you can - just see PP's post about Vietnam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is obviously a troll. I can't believe you all fell for it. "The government never relaxes restrictions once they're in place" was the tell.

You guys can't be this dumb. They relaxed the lockdown and made us wear masks. First they were requiring them on planes, now it's at airports. First it was when you couldn't social distance, now it's all the time in public. That's not lifting restrictions. It's actually increasing them.

Uh yeah because we’re only about 5 months into it, still have achieved a treatment or a vaccine. Do you think when your kid is 50 she’ll be wearing a mask when she leaves the house because of COVID-19? You have serious issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD (6) thinks things will go back to normal soon. She obviously can't grasp the full impact of the situation yet, and thinks that one day she'll be able to see her grandparents, not a wear a mask, travel, hug friends, attend school. I've been very non-committal about the future because I don't want to negatively affect her mental health, but at some point she'll need to understand that things are different now and won't ever go back. I'm actually wondering if I'm doing her a disservice by putting it off, but I'm dreading it.

Anyway, how and when do you plan on having this conversation?

Listen - and I'm not being ironic here - you need help. Do you have a therapist you can talk to?
People freaking WILL (and some still do!) hug friends, attend school (some privates will be open as soon as this August), travel, and even ditch masks, eventually. A year from now, everything will be back to normal.
Reading some posts here, you'd think an asteroid hit the Earth and the surviving 50 humans all frequent DCUM. "Things are different now and won't ever go back". Geez.

Interesting. You've not heard the term "new normal" either? And you do realize the government never drops restrictions they institute, right?

I think you should go back to your social studies class. Seriously.

Right? I mean, I'm pretty sure at some point they lifted the rations they instituted during WWII. Or wait, do we still have to limit our use of butter? Maybe we do and I just forgot.

It was years of rationing. Don't play dumb. And we still have overreach at the airports, 19 years later.

[Anonymous]

The degree to which many posts in this thread are just divorced from reality is freaking me out.

Yes, restrictions are currently increasing. That's because the virus spread is currently increasing, and everyone is worried it will get worse in the fall when it cools down. The restrictions are a direct reaction to what is currently happening with the virus.

Yes, this is hard for kids and it makes sense to acknowledge it. But even if some of these things (like mask wearing in public indoor spaces) become commonplace here as they have in Asia in recent years, all of our kid's will still be able to lead full, meaningful lives. I know people who have given birth in masks. People who have graduated from school in masks. Even if this virus or others like it force us to wear masks and become more careful in other ways, human beings will still continue to live their lives, socialize, and do things. The whole point of masks is to enable us to do some of those things now, even thought this virus is rampant.

There is promising news on the vaccine front. People who are very negative about the development of a vaccine (for instance, arguing that its not producing antibodies that last long enough, etc.) probably have never paid close attention to another vaccine being developed before. The Covid vaccine process is incredibly expedited and we are extremely fortunate to already be seeing some of these clinical trials producing antibodies in test subjects without worrisome side affects. They only mapped the virus in Jan/Feb of this year! That's amazing. The scientists working on this are incredibly motivated and very good at this. Lots of resources are being directed at it. There's no guarantee that we'll have a widely available, effective vaccine in the next 6 months (though the possibility exists, I just would be cautious about hoping for it), but from what we've seen so far, we will definitely have some kind of vaccine or effective treatment for this disease within the next 18 months.

I agree with others advising OP to get therapy. This black and white, catastrophic thinking is common in people with depression and will likely make functioning during this high stress time more difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So... mine is 6 too. We talk about it a lot, but in a certain way. Factual but light...we set the tone, they adopt it. "yeah this might be one really weird school year! but one out of life isnt that bad right? at least we get to hang out!" "Its so awesome we have zoom to talk to grandpa during the germ problem, imagine if we didnt!" and I tell them we do not know if a vaccine will come for years, but, the scientists are working and will probably find some good treatments and things will ease up in a year. We have sprinkled these comments throughout the last few months adn it has helped. At first they thought it would be better by summer, but now they know its taking longer and we all just float on.

Problem is, DH is telling her we can go see people next summer without masks. This is super irresponsible since we all know the restrictions won't ever be lifted, but I'm the one who'll get to comfort a crying child when she finds out he lied, so what does he care?

No, we don't "all know the restrictions won't EVER be lifted." If you know that, PP, you know something most people don't. Should we listen to you? Are you in some real position to know this or you just an everyday ninny who is scared of her own shadow?

Not scared. We moved to a rural area last year and I actually don't go out anymore now that masks are required, and I'd still be traveling once a week if it wasn't for state restrictions (even our church isn't allowed to open). My lifestyle has drastically changed, DD has noticed, and I don't know how to tell her it's permanent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The degree to which many posts in this thread are just divorced from reality is freaking me out.

Yes, restrictions are currently increasing. That's because the virus spread is currently increasing, and everyone is worried it will get worse in the fall when it cools down. The restrictions are a direct reaction to what is currently happening with the virus.

Yes, this is hard for kids and it makes sense to acknowledge it. But even if some of these things (like mask wearing in public indoor spaces) become commonplace here as they have in Asia in recent years, all of our kid's will still be able to lead full, meaningful lives. I know people who have given birth in masks. People who have graduated from school in masks. Even if this virus or others like it force us to wear masks and become more careful in other ways, human beings will still continue to live their lives, socialize, and do things. The whole point of masks is to enable us to do some of those things now, even thought this virus is rampant.

There is promising news on the vaccine front. People who are very negative about the development of a vaccine (for instance, arguing that its not producing antibodies that last long enough, etc.) probably have never paid close attention to another vaccine being developed before. The Covid vaccine process is incredibly expedited and we are extremely fortunate to already be seeing some of these clinical trials producing antibodies in test subjects without worrisome side affects. They only mapped the virus in Jan/Feb of this year! That's amazing. The scientists working on this are incredibly motivated and very good at this. Lots of resources are being directed at it. There's no guarantee that we'll have a widely available, effective vaccine in the next 6 months (though the possibility exists, I just would be cautious about hoping for it), but from what we've seen so far, we will definitely have some kind of vaccine or effective treatment for this disease within the next 18 months.

I agree with others advising OP to get therapy. This black and white, catastrophic thinking is common in people with depression and will likely make functioning during this high stress time more difficult.

Why do we need to function? Serious question. We're not allowed to DO anything. About