Is A Second Baby Shower Tacky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amid all the families may "never" host rhetoric I just want to point out that according to Emily Post that is no longer true.

Hosts and Honorees
Traditionally, close friends, cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law, or coworkers of the mother-to-be hosted baby showers. Because gifts are central to showers, hosting by a member of the honoree’s (or husband’s) immediate family appeared self-serving. Today it is appropriate for anyone to host a baby shower as long as there’s a legitimate reason. For example, some parents-to-be live far from their hometowns, and their mothers and siblings want to host a shower so that longtime friends can attend. ... A shower for an expectant or new single mother is a good way for her family and friends to show their love and support.

Link: https://emilypost.com/advice/baby-showers-welcoming-the-new-baby/

Thank you! The old biddies on DCUM are living in the dinosaur age. Almost every baby shower I have been to has been thrown by the mom’s mother, except in a few circumstances when there is an estrangement.

+1. Every baby shower I’ve been to was hosted by the mother. Who wrote these etiquette rules apparently “everyone” knows about?

-1. I have never been to a baby or wedding shower hosted by the mother or mother-in-law. I always knew it was not done. I am not an old biddy (29) nor live in the dinosaur age. But I am a New Englander and private school woman so maybe things are very different here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is a second baby shower tacky?

I think all baby showers are tacky, post baby welcome to the world and family are okay! I hate showers unless for families in poverty. Very American!

x1000 and I am as WASP American as they come. "Meet the baby!" is cute and some people will want to send gifts, but for educated and affluent people like the couple described, soliciting gifts for the birth of your child (your choice, right?) is tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a sprinkle???

A party for gift whores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes omg all Baby showers are tacky.

Especially if you are older than 30

What? A baby shower for the first child is not tacky. Why does it matter how old the mother is? It’s to celebrate the baby.

NP. If it were to celebrate the baby you would wait until there actually is a baby. It's to shower with gifts and set up the parents, taking off some of the financial burden. It's about the gifts. The age thing is because it makes sense when there is a young mother who may not be able to equip herself with the necessities. When it's some 600k HHI professionals in their late thirties hitting up friends for Brest Friend pillows and 1300 dollar SNOO bassinets, it's tacky. Host a sip and see (on your own dime! :gasp and ask for donations to a children's charity.

I’ve seen this logic before (with weddings) and it always baffles me. Just because someone marries after 30 or has a baby after 35 doesn’t mean that their community doesn’t want to celebrate those life milestones. I’m the professional woman you described and, you’re right, I don’t need anyone to purchase anything for me. We registered for items from $4-300 and will buy what’s not purchased by friends. But to imply that there’s an income or age threshold to these events is unkind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes omg all Baby showers are tacky.

Especially if you are older than 30

What? A baby shower for the first child is not tacky. Why does it matter how old the mother is? It’s to celebrate the baby.

NP. If it were to celebrate the baby you would wait until there actually is a baby. It's to shower with gifts and set up the parents, taking off some of the financial burden. It's about the gifts. The age thing is because it makes sense when there is a young mother who may not be able to equip herself with the necessities. When it's some 600k HHI professionals in their late thirties hitting up friends for Brest Friend pillows and 1300 dollar SNOO bassinets, it's tacky. Host a sip and see (on your own dime! :gasp and ask for donations to a children's charity.

I’ve seen this logic before (with weddings) and it always baffles me. Just because someone marries after 30 or has a baby after 35 doesn’t mean that their community doesn’t want to celebrate those life milestones. I’m the professional woman you described and, you’re right, I don’t need anyone to purchase anything for me. We registered for items from $4-300 and will buy what’s not purchased by friends. But to imply that there’s an income or age threshold to these events is unkind.

I'm also the professional woman I described (over 35 for these events), hence I did not do events that had registeries and were about the gifts. People can do what they want, I just find it distasteful and make that clear to anyone who thinks I'd do something like that myself.There are many mothers out there who need things, my friends can help those women out financially. Send some money to mothers in refugee camps and come have a nice lunch at my place to meet the baby. I'm set on the bottles and diapers.

[Anonymous]

PP. I’m happy to agree to disagree and would note that I do both - I routinely donate to communicate centers for moms in need AND give my 35 FTM friends gifts from their registries. They aren’t mutually exclusive.