Is A Second Baby Shower Tacky?

[Anonymous]

I send most of my friends a personalized kids book after baby is born. I think it’s horrible they don’t have a gift under $200 but maybe a small gift after baby is born is a compromise? These I See Me book are wonderful and $35 but can’t be sent until after baby is born as they incorporate name and birth date.

https://www.iseeme.com/en-us/personalized-storybooks/my-very-own-name-personalized-book.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never heard of this rule. This sounds crazy to me. Why not celebrate a second child like the first? How rude to the second baby!

I come from a culture where we don’t have baby showers at all so this whole thing is mysterious. I think all showers are tacky but if you have one why not two?

Because you already have baby supplies from the first baby.

You don't need a crib, a glider, a breast pump, bottles, blankets. You have that already.

And if you chose to get everything in "gender-specific" colors, then that's on you. Your lack of foresight is not your friends' problem.

When I had my second DCUM scared the crap out of me for having a second baby shower. But what I really wanted was just to have a nice lunch and tea with my close girlfriends. I’m not being snarky, but what would you call that? All I wanted before number 2 was a nice day out but I was worried about what to call it and be labeled at DCUM trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never heard of this rule. This sounds crazy to me. Why not celebrate a second child like the first? How rude to the second baby!

I come from a culture where we don’t have baby showers at all so this whole thing is mysterious. I think all showers are tacky but if you have one why not two?

Because you already have baby supplies from the first baby.

You don't need a crib, a glider, a breast pump, bottles, blankets. You have that already.

And if you chose to get everything in "gender-specific" colors, then that's on you. Your lack of foresight is not your friends' problem.

When I had my second DCUM scared the crap out of me for having a second baby shower. But what I really wanted was just to have a nice lunch and tea with my close girlfriends. I’m not being snarky, but what would you call that? All I wanted before number 2 was a nice day out but I was worried about what to call it and be labeled at DCUM trash.

what would you call that? Lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never heard of this rule. This sounds crazy to me. Why not celebrate a second child like the first? How rude to the second baby!

I come from a culture where we don’t have baby showers at all so this whole thing is mysterious. I think all showers are tacky but if you have one why not two?

Because you already have baby supplies from the first baby.

You don't need a crib, a glider, a breast pump, bottles, blankets. You have that already.

And if you chose to get everything in "gender-specific" colors, then that's on you. Your lack of foresight is not your friends' problem.

When I had my second DCUM scared the crap out of me for having a second baby shower. But what I really wanted was just to have a nice lunch and tea with my close girlfriends. I’m not being snarky, but what would you call that? All I wanted before number 2 was a nice day out but I was worried about what to call it and be labeled at DCUM trash.

This is totally fine!! Call/text friends and say I’d like to do a girls lunch. Can you come to whatever place on whatever date. My treat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Under most circumstances, yes.

There are exceptions.

What is the situation here, OP?

OP here. I was going to add more details earlier but I got busy. A friend of my had a huge baby shower for her first child ( a boy). She is having a girl in the fall and her mom planned a baby shower for her in July. They canceled it but sent out emails telling people where to send the gift. They got many items and rally don’t need any big ticket items, but she is asking for everything in pink. Her cheapest item is $200. My husband said not to send her anything. They are both doctors and can afford to get these items.

My husband and I have one toddler boy and plan to get pregnant later this year. I would never think to have another baby shower, even if I have a girl. I purposely got everything in neutral colors. I probably will send her a gift but I think it’s really tacky.

A friend.
Your friends are really tacky. A family member should never throw a shower either.

Who should throw the shower then if not a family member?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Under most circumstances, yes.

There are exceptions.

What is the situation here, OP?

OP here. I was going to add more details earlier but I got busy. A friend of my had a huge baby shower for her first child ( a boy). She is having a girl in the fall and her mom planned a baby shower for her in July. They canceled it but sent out emails telling people where to send the gift. They got many items and rally don’t need any big ticket items, but she is asking for everything in pink. Her cheapest item is $200. My husband said not to send her anything. They are both doctors and can afford to get these items.

My husband and I have one toddler boy and plan to get pregnant later this year. I would never think to have another baby shower, even if I have a girl. I purposely got everything in neutral colors. I probably will send her a gift but I think it’s really tacky.

Your friends are really tacky. A family member should never throw a shower either.

What? Baby showers are usually thrown by the expecting mothers mom.

Not in polite society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Under most circumstances, yes.

There are exceptions.

What is the situation here, OP?

OP here. I was going to add more details earlier but I got busy. A friend of my had a huge baby shower for her first child ( a boy). She is having a girl in the fall and her mom planned a baby shower for her in July. They canceled it but sent out emails telling people where to send the gift. They got many items and rally don’t need any big ticket items, but she is asking for everything in pink. Her cheapest item is $200. My husband said not to send her anything. They are both doctors and can afford to get these items.

My husband and I have one toddler boy and plan to get pregnant later this year. I would never think to have another baby shower, even if I have a girl. I purposely got everything in neutral colors. I probably will send her a gift but I think it’s really tacky.

Even if second showers were acceptable, this clearly isn't. There's no actual party, so it's literally just asking people for gifts. And that registry is terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never heard of this rule. This sounds crazy to me. Why not celebrate a second child like the first? How rude to the second baby!

I come from a culture where we don’t have baby showers at all so this whole thing is mysterious. I think all showers are tacky but if you have one why not two?

Because you already have baby supplies from the first baby.

You don't need a crib, a glider, a breast pump, bottles, blankets. You have that already.

And if you chose to get everything in "gender-specific" colors, then that's on you. Your lack of foresight is not your friends' problem.

When I had my second DCUM scared the crap out of me for having a second baby shower. But what I really wanted was just to have a nice lunch and tea with my close girlfriends. I’m not being snarky, but what would you call that? All I wanted before number 2 was a nice day out but I was worried about what to call it and be labeled at DCUM trash.

This is totally fine!! Call/text friends and say I’d like to do a girls lunch. Can you come to whatever place on whatever date. My treat.

You call that "lunch." You invite your friends to lunch, and you pay. And you don't mention the word "shower," or talk about how it's to celebrate the baby, you just say that you would really like to have a nice lunch with your friends before the baby is born, and you invite them to your favorite restaurant and you arrange in advance to pay. No one will find that tacky. It's the asking for gifts (which is what a "shower" means), for a second baby that puts you into "tacky" territory.

[Anonymous]

Yes. The end. There is no circumstance in which this is not tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Under most circumstances, yes.

There are exceptions.

What is the situation here, OP?

OP here. I was going to add more details earlier but I got busy. A friend of my had a huge baby shower for her first child ( a boy). She is having a girl in the fall and her mom planned a baby shower for her in July. They canceled it but sent out emails telling people where to send the gift. They got many items and rally don’t need any big ticket items, but she is asking for everything in pink. Her cheapest item is $200. My husband said not to send her anything. They are both doctors and can afford to get these items.

My husband and I have one toddler boy and plan to get pregnant later this year. I would never think to have another baby shower, even if I have a girl. I purposely got everything in neutral colors. I probably will send her a gift but I think it’s really tacky.

Send her a card with your warmest wishes. If she’s a good friend, and this is her only blind spot, give her a pass. Someone could be giving her bad advice. ( I want to buy you something! Where’s your registry? etc.)

[Anonymous]

Yes. Why can't you just buy your own stuff instead of trying to get other people to buy it for you?

And no, it's not a "celebration" of the baby. You can always do that once the baby is here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. The end. There is no circumstance in which this is not tacky.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, regardless of what the registry says, go ahead and do what will make the most sense to you.

For second babies I always do a little something after the birth if it's someone I'm close enough to care about celebrating with, but no one in my circle has had a 2nd shower. Sometimes I send them dinner from a restaurant, bake something to take over and watch baby & older kid while mom showers & naps, or I send a box with a few books for older sibling and a few books for baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All baby showers are tacky.

This.
+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never heard of this rule. This sounds crazy to me. Why not celebrate a second child like the first? How rude to the second baby!

I come from a culture where we don’t have baby showers at all so this whole thing is mysterious. I think all showers are tacky but if you have one why not two?

Because you already have baby supplies from the first baby.

You don't need a crib, a glider, a breast pump, bottles, blankets. You have that already.

And if you chose to get everything in "gender-specific" colors, then that's on you. Your lack of foresight is not your friends' problem.

When I had my second DCUM scared the crap out of me for having a second baby shower. But what I really wanted was just to have a nice lunch and tea with my close girlfriends. I’m not being snarky, but what would you call that? All I wanted before number 2 was a nice day out but I was worried about what to call it and be labeled at DCUM trash.

You call it " How about lunch at ________ on (date,).