Is A Second Baby Shower Tacky?

[Anonymous]

It is tacky for a Mom to plan a baby shower (the grandmother of baby #2

The cheapest item is $200? Even tackier. Agree with your husband.

Both are doctors?

If the mother lived in poverty, in a homeless shelter
on assistance and was having baby #2 then I would be okay with a baby shower for baby #2 to get supplies.

Otherwise, no way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YES, especially during a freaking global pandemic.

People are canceling or postponing their weddings.

People are not even having funerals and memorial services at the moment.

And you're over here expecting a SECOND baby shower?!

Wow.

Wow to your response. OP asked a simple question and in no way indicated the shower was for her. Maybe she was invited or asked to co- host. Lots of anger and judgement in your response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Under most circumstances, yes.

There are exceptions.

What is the situation here, OP?

OP here. I was going to add more details earlier but I got busy. A friend of my had a huge baby shower for her first child ( a boy). She is having a girl in the fall and her mom planned a baby shower for her in July. They canceled it but sent out emails telling people where to send the gift. They got many items and rally don’t need any big ticket items, but she is asking for everything in pink. Her cheapest item is $200. My husband said not to send her anything. They are both doctors and can afford to get these items.

My husband and I have one toddler boy and plan to get pregnant later this year. I would never think to have another baby shower, even if I have a girl. I purposely got everything in neutral colors. I probably will send her a gift but I think it’s really tacky.

Your friends are really tacky. A family member should never throw a shower either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Under most circumstances, yes.

There are exceptions.

What is the situation here, OP?

OP here. I was going to add more details earlier but I got busy. A friend of my had a huge baby shower for her first child ( a boy). She is having a girl in the fall and her mom planned a baby shower for her in July. They canceled it but sent out emails telling people where to send the gift. They got many items and rally don’t need any big ticket items, but she is asking for everything in pink. Her cheapest item is $200. My husband said not to send her anything. They are both doctors and can afford to get these items.

My husband and I have one toddler boy and plan to get pregnant later this year. I would never think to have another baby shower, even if I have a girl. I purposely got everything in neutral colors. I probably will send her a gift but I think it’s really tacky.

Your friends are really tacky. A family member should never throw a shower either.

Who should throw the shower then if not a family member?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Under most circumstances, yes.

There are exceptions.

What is the situation here, OP?

OP here. I was going to add more details earlier but I got busy. A friend of my had a huge baby shower for her first child ( a boy). She is having a girl in the fall and her mom planned a baby shower for her in July. They canceled it but sent out emails telling people where to send the gift. They got many items and rally don’t need any big ticket items, but she is asking for everything in pink. Her cheapest item is $200. My husband said not to send her anything. They are both doctors and can afford to get these items.

My husband and I have one toddler boy and plan to get pregnant later this year. I would never think to have another baby shower, even if I have a girl. I purposely got everything in neutral colors. I probably will send her a gift but I think it’s really tacky.

Your friends are really tacky. A family member should never throw a shower either.

What? Baby showers are usually thrown by the expecting mothers mom.

[Anonymous]

Have a party, don’t call it a shower. If people ask, you can tell them it felt weird to have a shower but you wanted to see everyone before you entered the newborn cocoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes omg all Baby showers are tacky.

Especially if you are older than 30

What? A baby shower for the first child is not tacky. Why does it matter how old the mother is? It’s to celebrate the baby.

NP. If it were to celebrate the baby you would wait until there actually is a baby. It's to shower with gifts and set up the parents, taking off some of the financial burden. It's about the gifts. The age thing is because it makes sense when there is a young mother who may not be able to equip herself with the necessities. When it's some 600k HHI professionals in their late thirties hitting up friends for Brest Friend pillows and 1300 dollar SNOO bassinets, it's tacky. Host a sip and see (on your own dime! :gasp and ask for donations to a children's charity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a party, don’t call it a shower. If people ask, you can tell them it felt weird to have a shower but you wanted to see everyone before you entered the newborn cocoon.

I hadn’t read page 2.....I’d send a nice card and a board book. Offer a hot meal post partum. F the rest. Wow.

[Anonymous]

It can be tacky but the question is what’s the gracious way for you to handle it and it’s probably to send a gift if the $ is not an issue for you. Or send something off registry.

[Anonymous]

My friend had a second baby 6 years after her first. Friends organized sprinkle. We Gave them something small but have passed on a stroller and lots of boy clothes.

[Anonymous]

If someone offered to host one for you then no.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never heard of this rule. This sounds crazy to me. Why not celebrate a second child like the first? How rude to the second baby!

I come from a culture where we don’t have baby showers at all so this whole thing is mysterious. I think all showers are tacky but if you have one why not two?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never heard of this rule. This sounds crazy to me. Why not celebrate a second child like the first? How rude to the second baby!

I come from a culture where we don’t have baby showers at all so this whole thing is mysterious. I think all showers are tacky but if you have one why not two?

Because you already have baby supplies from the first baby.

You don't need a crib, a glider, a breast pump, bottles, blankets. You have that already.

And if you chose to get everything in "gender-specific" colors, then that's on you. Your lack of foresight is not your friends' problem.

[Anonymous]

To answer the original question, yes. It's tacky. There's some situations it's okay (second marriage, first baby died), but generally tacky. I've been to multiple showers for kids with close in age older siblings and I'm always surprised because it seems so pointless to me.

In this specific case, super tacky. I'd send an Uber eats gift card and call it a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is a second baby shower tacky?

Yes. Yes yes yes yes, no matter if your first child is 95! If you can't afford a child, don't have unprotected sex.