Is A Second Baby Shower Tacky?

[Anonymous]

I think it’s tacky if it’s the same gender and if the kids are close in age. My mom had a second shower because my sister and I are 6 years apart. My friend had a “baby q” (bbq) for the celebration of her second boy. They did want a. Second child and literally saved everything from the first (crib, good clothes, stroller, etc) and in the invitation they asked for no gifts. My cousins wife has 3 kids all 5 years apart and she has a birthday party for them EVERY year. That’s annoying too. I don’t mind baby showers for first borns. But you know what else is annoying?! Gender reveals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm from a Midwestern working class family. I'd say in my circles, everyone has a 1st baby shower. Some have a 2nd shower, but not everyone. Most showers are thrown by friends/family together. Like a mother, mother in law and best friends pitching in together to host, decorate, make food.... Whatever is fine with me but if you think it's tacky, don't go and don't send a gift.

You know. I am from the Midwest too, and although I have been to many second baby showers, I can't think of any where the older generation was involved. Usually it's just a group of girlfriends. Husbands take the kids, and we get together and decorate, serve food, etc. Most gifts are fairly inexpensive or homemade. The social aspect kind of reminds me of the MLM parties, but exchange cute baby baby stuff for the tacky purses and jewelry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from a Midwestern working class family. I'd say in my circles, everyone has a 1st baby shower. Some have a 2nd shower, but not everyone. Most showers are thrown by friends/family together. Like a mother, mother in law and best friends pitching in together to host, decorate, make food.... Whatever is fine with me but if you think it's tacky, don't go and don't send a gift.

You know. I am from the Midwest too, and although I have been to many second baby showers, I can't think of any where the older generation was involved. Usually it's just a group of girlfriends. Husbands take the kids, and we get together and decorate, serve food, etc. Most gifts are fairly inexpensive or homemade. The social aspect kind of reminds me of the MLM parties, but exchange cute baby baby stuff for the tacky purses and jewelry.

How can you compare a baby shower to MLM parties?

The sprinkles I have attended are mostly friends getting together, kind of like a birthday gathering.

I love getting together with my friends and I enjoy buying gifts for my friends.

I admit I was annoyed when I got invited to a sprinkle for a third child but it was probably because I don’t like the mom. We are not close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from a Midwestern working class family. I'd say in my circles, everyone has a 1st baby shower. Some have a 2nd shower, but not everyone. Most showers are thrown by friends/family together. Like a mother, mother in law and best friends pitching in together to host, decorate, make food.... Whatever is fine with me but if you think it's tacky, don't go and don't send a gift.

You know. I am from the Midwest too, and although I have been to many second baby showers, I can't think of any where the older generation was involved. Usually it's just a group of girlfriends. Husbands take the kids, and we get together and decorate, serve food, etc. Most gifts are fairly inexpensive or homemade. The social aspect kind of reminds me of the MLM parties, but exchange cute baby baby stuff for the tacky purses and jewelry.

How can you compare a baby shower to MLM parties?

The sprinkles I have attended are mostly friends getting together, kind of like a birthday gathering.

I love getting together with my friends and I enjoy buying gifts for my friends.

I admit I was annoyed when I got invited to a sprinkle for a third child but it was probably because I don’t like the mom. We are not close.

That’s what the MLM parties I have been to are like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Under most circumstances, yes.

There are exceptions.

What is the situation here, OP?

OP here. I was going to add more details earlier but I got busy. A friend of my had a huge baby shower for her first child ( a boy). She is having a girl in the fall and her mom planned a baby shower for her in July. They canceled it but sent out emails telling people where to send the gift. They got many items and rally don’t need any big ticket items, but she is asking for everything in pink. Her cheapest item is $200. My husband said not to send her anything. They are both doctors and can afford to get these items.

My husband and I have one toddler boy and plan to get pregnant later this year. I would never think to have another baby shower, even if I have a girl. I purposely got everything in neutral colors. I probably will send her a gift but I think it’s really tacky.

Okay, with the explanation it just got worse. Second baby showers are tacky but even more tacky is that her mother planned the shower. It is never appropriate for a mother or MIL to host a shower, baby or wedding. Also, while of course they had to cancel due to Covid, to tell people where to send gifts is beyond tacky. Your DH is right, no gift needed. Send a card letting them know you are happy for them and let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Under most circumstances, yes.

There are exceptions.

What is the situation here, OP?

OP here. I was going to add more details earlier but I got busy. A friend of my had a huge baby shower for her first child ( a boy). She is having a girl in the fall and her mom planned a baby shower for her in July. They canceled it but sent out emails telling people where to send the gift. They got many items and rally don’t need any big ticket items, but she is asking for everything in pink. Her cheapest item is $200. My husband said not to send her anything. They are both doctors and can afford to get these items.

My husband and I have one toddler boy and plan to get pregnant later this year. I would never think to have another baby shower, even if I have a girl. I purposely got everything in neutral colors. I probably will send her a gift but I think it’s really tacky.

U

Your friends are really tacky. A family member should never throw a shower either.

What? Baby showers are usually thrown by the expecting mothers mom.

No,baby showers should not be hosted by mothers or MILs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Under most circumstances, yes.

There are exceptions.

What is the situation here, OP?

OP here. I was going to add more details earlier but I got busy. A friend of my had a huge baby shower for her first child ( a boy). She is having a girl in the fall and her mom planned a baby shower for her in July. They canceled it but sent out emails telling people where to send the gift. They got many items and rally don’t need any big ticket items, but she is asking for everything in pink. Her cheapest item is $200. My husband said not to send her anything. They are both doctors and can afford to get these items.

My husband and I have one toddler boy and plan to get pregnant later this year. I would never think to have another baby shower, even if I have a girl. I purposely got everything in neutral colors. I probably will send her a gift but I think it’s really tacky.

U

Your friends are really tacky. A family member should never throw a shower either.

What? Baby showers are usually thrown by the expecting mothers mom.

No,baby showers should not be hosted by mothers or MILs.

Host pays for the shower. You think the friends should pay for the shower?

My friends and I do sprinkles for our friends.

This reminds me of a bridal shower a friend hosted. The couple had a destination wedding and bridesmaids were trying to throw a bridal shower for the bride. The mom added all these people but didn’t pay for it. It was a fiasco. My friend was so upset. The bridesmaids were pissed. They felt like they were paying for their wedding. More people attended the shower than the actual wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is a second baby shower tacky?

Yes. Some would argue that second babies are tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is a second baby shower tacky?

YES.

[Anonymous]

Amid all the families may "never" host rhetoric I just want to point out that according to Emily Post that is no longer true.

Hosts and Honorees
Traditionally, close friends, cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law, or coworkers of the mother-to-be hosted baby showers. Because gifts are central to showers, hosting by a member of the honoree’s (or husband’s) immediate family appeared self-serving. Today it is appropriate for anyone to host a baby shower as long as there’s a legitimate reason. For example, some parents-to-be live far from their hometowns, and their mothers and siblings want to host a shower so that longtime friends can attend. ... A shower for an expectant or new single mother is a good way for her family and friends to show their love and support.

Link: https://emilypost.com/advice/baby-showers-welcoming-the-new-baby/

[Anonymous]

100% tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is a second baby shower tacky?

I think all baby showers are tacky, post baby welcome to the world and family are okay! I hate showers unless for families in poverty. Very American!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Amid all the families may "never" host rhetoric I just want to point out that according to Emily Post that is no longer true.

Hosts and Honorees
Traditionally, close friends, cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law, or coworkers of the mother-to-be hosted baby showers. Because gifts are central to showers, hosting by a member of the honoree’s (or husband’s) immediate family appeared self-serving. Today it is appropriate for anyone to host a baby shower as long as there’s a legitimate reason. For example, some parents-to-be live far from their hometowns, and their mothers and siblings want to host a shower so that longtime friends can attend. ... A shower for an expectant or new single mother is a good way for her family and friends to show their love and support.

Link: https://emilypost.com/advice/baby-showers-welcoming-the-new-baby/

Thank you! The old biddies on DCUM are living in the dinosaur age. Almost every baby shower I have been to has been thrown by the mom’s mother, except in a few circumstances when there is an estrangement.

[Anonymous]

What is a sprinkle???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amid all the families may "never" host rhetoric I just want to point out that according to Emily Post that is no longer true.

Hosts and Honorees
Traditionally, close friends, cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law, or coworkers of the mother-to-be hosted baby showers. Because gifts are central to showers, hosting by a member of the honoree’s (or husband’s) immediate family appeared self-serving. Today it is appropriate for anyone to host a baby shower as long as there’s a legitimate reason. For example, some parents-to-be live far from their hometowns, and their mothers and siblings want to host a shower so that longtime friends can attend. ... A shower for an expectant or new single mother is a good way for her family and friends to show their love and support.

Link: https://emilypost.com/advice/baby-showers-welcoming-the-new-baby/

Thank you! The old biddies on DCUM are living in the dinosaur age. Almost every baby shower I have been to has been thrown by the mom’s mother, except in a few circumstances when there is an estrangement.

+1. Every baby shower I’ve been to was hosted by the mother. Who wrote these etiquette rules apparently “everyone” knows about?