“Full time mom”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep,, there is not any perfect term for this (yet). "SAHM" is not accurate since we hardly "stay at home" most days. I think "full-time mom" is better, but if it's objectionable to other moms, I'd be happy to use some other term.

Suggestions? It would be so nice to have a term that doesn't diminish the real work we SAHMs do OR the real parenting of moms who do other work during the daytime.

Yes. I haven't ever found one word that conveys all this. I usually say something more wordy that I hope sounds neutral, like, "I don't work outside the home, I run the house and the family instead."

Let's all try on both sides not to look for offense when it's just semantics.

I see that you’re trying, but that doesn’t make sense. Because plenty of women both run the house and the family and work outside the home. There is no instead - it’s not either/or.

The above is cringeworthy.

You’re really invested in the idea that you do everything SAHMs do and you’re committed to getting offended at however they describe their days. “Full time mom” is offensive because you consider yourself a full time mom even though you’re at work during the day and outsourcing childcare. Acknowledging that reality upsets you. A longer explanation that someone doesn’t work outside the home and takes care of the family also offends you because you like to think you do all of that too. You are the special snowflake with infinite hours in the day who has time to take care of kids and family full time and work full time! It must be great to have more than 24 hours in a day!

But really just be honest and say you’re not going to be happy until SAHMs day they’re lazy and do nothing all day. Anything else, you’re going to find a way to get offended about.

Why so triggered?

When my my kids aren't with me (like now, because they're at school) I'm still their mom. I am their mom all day, every day.

I also still run my household and family, along with my husband.

Translation: I do EVERYTHING SAHMs do AND I work too! Someone give me a cookie because I’m desperate for validation of my choices!

For my school-age kids? Yes, I do. Why so pissed off?

Awww. Do you want your cookie now?

[Anonymous]

"Housewife" seems to cover it. We all know what that means. Why did we ever move away from that one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

That's interesting. I always thought that would sound offensive, deliberately elitist of me.

It sounds worse to say things like 'I run the home!' LOL

I think this thread is very accurately illustrating that there is a substantial cohort of working moms who are offended by other women’s choices to stay home with their children. Any implication that SAHM/full time moms provide value to their families is personally offensive to these women.

The insecurity is real.

[Anonymous]

This thread is exhausting.

People should just do what works for them and their families, and keep the judgments about others to themselves.

There will never be any resolution to the work vs. stay-at-home debate...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

This is weird.

People define themselves by what they do, not what they don’t do. When people ask you about your job, do you say “I’m not a doctor” or do you say “I’m an engineer.” It’s really strange to want SAHMS/full time moms to be the only ones to list what they don’t do for a living.

[Anonymous]

To answer the above question, we moved away from saying "housewife" because feminists correctly pointed out that this was inaccurate and belittled the the valuable work that women have always done and many continue to do outside the corporate, paid workforce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

This is weird.

People define themselves by what they do, not what they don’t do. When people ask you about your job, do you say “I’m not a doctor” or do you say “I’m an engineer.” It’s really strange to want SAHMS/full time moms to be the only ones to list what they don’t do for a living.

YOU DONT HAVE A JOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

This is weird.

People define themselves by what they do, not what they don’t do. When people ask you about your job, do you say “I’m not a doctor” or do you say “I’m an engineer.” It’s really strange to want SAHMS/full time moms to be the only ones to list what they don’t do for a living.

Fair point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

That's interesting. I always thought that would sound offensive, deliberately elitist of me.

It sounds worse to say things like 'I run the home!' LOL

I think this thread is very accurately illustrating that there is a substantial cohort of working moms who are offended by other women’s choices to stay home with their children. Any implication that SAHM/full time moms provide value to their families is personally offensive to these women.

The insecurity is real.

Reading is fundamental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep,, there is not any perfect term for this (yet). "SAHM" is not accurate since we hardly "stay at home" most days. I think "full-time mom" is better, but if it's objectionable to other moms, I'd be happy to use some other term.

Suggestions? It would be so nice to have a term that doesn't diminish the real work we SAHMs do OR the real parenting of moms who do other work during the daytime.

Yes. I haven't ever found one word that conveys all this. I usually say something more wordy that I hope sounds neutral, like, "I don't work outside the home, I run the house and the family instead."

Let's all try on both sides not to look for offense when it's just semantics.

I see that you’re trying, but that doesn’t make sense. Because plenty of women both run the house and the family and work outside the home. There is no instead - it’s not either/or.

The above is cringeworthy.

You’re really invested in the idea that you do everything SAHMs do and you’re committed to getting offended at however they describe their days. “Full time mom” is offensive because you consider yourself a full time mom even though you’re at work during the day and outsourcing childcare. Acknowledging that reality upsets you. A longer explanation that someone doesn’t work outside the home and takes care of the family also offends you because you like to think you do all of that too. You are the special snowflake with infinite hours in the day who has time to take care of kids and family full time and work full time! It must be great to have more than 24 hours in a day!

But really just be honest and say you’re not going to be happy until SAHMs day they’re lazy and do nothing all day. Anything else, you’re going to find a way to get offended about.

Why so triggered?

When my my kids aren't with me (like now, because they're at school) I'm still their mom. I am their mom all day, every day.

I also still run my household and family, along with my husband.

Translation: I do EVERYTHING SAHMs do AND I work too! Someone give me a cookie because I’m desperate for validation of my choices!

For my school-age kids? Yes, I do. Why so pissed off?

Awww. Do you want your cookie now?

DP. What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

I recently reviewed a resume of an attorney getting back into the workforce after 10 years. She wrote that she'd been at the CEO of Family Brannigan -- a busy household with Todd, who (has big job) and 4 active kids and many furry animals. At least it was good for a morning laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

This is weird.

People define themselves by what they do, not what they don’t do. When people ask you about your job, do you say “I’m not a doctor” or do you say “I’m an engineer.” It’s really strange to want SAHMS/full time moms to be the only ones to list what they don’t do for a living.

YOU DONT HAVE A JOB.

So? And you’re not a doctor/lawyer/teacher/(whatever field you chose not to go into.)

Do you list all the things you DO NOT do or do you just tell people what you do when they ask?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

This is weird.

People define themselves by what they do, not what they don’t do. When people ask you about your job, do you say “I’m not a doctor” or do you say “I’m an engineer.” It’s really strange to want SAHMS/full time moms to be the only ones to list what they don’t do for a living.

YOU DONT HAVE A JOB.

So? And you’re not a doctor/lawyer/teacher/(whatever field you chose not to go into.)

Do you list all the things you DO NOT do or do you just tell people what you do when they ask?

To quote you, assuming you're PP:


When people ask you about your job, do you say “I’m not a doctor” or do you say “I’m an engineer.”

I'd say "I don't work."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To answer the above question, we moved away from saying "housewife" because feminists correctly pointed out that this was inaccurate and belittled the the valuable work that women have always done and many continue to do outside the corporate, paid workforce.

I don't get why it's belittling, unless you think being defined in relation to your marital status and work in the home (which most non-corporate-workforce women I knew always took to include volunteer work outside the home). What's wrong with acknowledging that household management can take a good chunk of time? And if I'm an "employee," that defines me in relationship to my employer, which to me is a far less important relationship than my marriage.

I have corporate work part-time, but on my days home I think of myself as a housewife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep,, there is not any perfect term for this (yet). "SAHM" is not accurate since we hardly "stay at home" most days. I think "full-time mom" is better, but if it's objectionable to other moms, I'd be happy to use some other term.

Suggestions? It would be so nice to have a term that doesn't diminish the real work we SAHMs do OR the real parenting of moms who do other work during the daytime.

Yes. I haven't ever found one word that conveys all this. I usually say something more wordy that I hope sounds neutral, like, "I don't work outside the home, I run the house and the family instead."

Let's all try on both sides not to look for offense when it's just semantics.

I see that you’re trying, but that doesn’t make sense. Because plenty of women both run the house and the family and work outside the home. There is no instead - it’s not either/or.

The above is cringeworthy.

You’re really invested in the idea that you do everything SAHMs do and you’re committed to getting offended at however they describe their days. “Full time mom” is offensive because you consider yourself a full time mom even though you’re at work during the day and outsourcing childcare. Acknowledging that reality upsets you. A longer explanation that someone doesn’t work outside the home and takes care of the family also offends you because you like to think you do all of that too. You are the special snowflake with infinite hours in the day who has time to take care of kids and family full time and work full time! It must be great to have more than 24 hours in a day!

But really just be honest and say you’re not going to be happy until SAHMs day they’re lazy and do nothing all day. Anything else, you’re going to find a way to get offended about.

Why so triggered?

When my my kids aren't with me (like now, because they're at school) I'm still their mom. I am their mom all day, every day.

I also still run my household and family, along with my husband.

Translation: I do EVERYTHING SAHMs do AND I work too! Someone give me a cookie because I’m desperate for validation of my choices!

For my school-age kids? Yes, I do. Why so pissed off?

Awww. Do you want your cookie now?

DP. What is wrong with you?

Yeah this poster sounds mental.