“Full time mom”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep,, there is not any perfect term for this (yet). "SAHM" is not accurate since we hardly "stay at home" most days. I think "full-time mom" is better, but if it's objectionable to other moms, I'd be happy to use some other term.

Suggestions? It would be so nice to have a term that doesn't diminish the real work we SAHMs do OR the real parenting of moms who do other work during the daytime.

Yes. I haven't ever found one word that conveys all this. I usually say something more wordy that I hope sounds neutral, like, "I don't work outside the home, I run the house and the family instead."

Let's all try on both sides not to look for offense when it's just semantics.

I see that you’re trying, but that doesn’t make sense. Because plenty of women both run the house and the family and work outside the home. There is no instead - it’s not either/or.

The above is cringeworthy.

You’re really invested in the idea that you do everything SAHMs do and you’re committed to getting offended at however they describe their days. “Full time mom” is offensive because you consider yourself a full time mom even though you’re at work during the day and outsourcing childcare. Acknowledging that reality upsets you. A longer explanation that someone doesn’t work outside the home and takes care of the family also offends you because you like to think you do all of that too. You are the special snowflake with infinite hours in the day who has time to take care of kids and family full time and work full time! It must be great to have more than 24 hours in a day!

But really just be honest and say you’re not going to be happy until SAHMs day they’re lazy and do nothing all day. Anything else, you’re going to find a way to get offended about.

Why so triggered?

When my my kids aren't with me (like now, because they're at school) I'm still their mom. I am their mom all day, every day.

I also still run my household and family, along with my husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

That's interesting. I always thought that would sound offensive, deliberately elitist of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep,, there is not any perfect term for this (yet). "SAHM" is not accurate since we hardly "stay at home" most days. I think "full-time mom" is better, but if it's objectionable to other moms, I'd be happy to use some other term.

Suggestions? It would be so nice to have a term that doesn't diminish the real work we SAHMs do OR the real parenting of moms who do other work during the daytime.

Yes. I haven't ever found one word that conveys all this. I usually say something more wordy that I hope sounds neutral, like, "I don't work outside the home, I run the house and the family instead."

Let's all try on both sides not to look for offense when it's just semantics.

I see that you’re trying, but that doesn’t make sense. Because plenty of women both run the house and the family and work outside the home. There is no instead - it’s not either/or.

The above is cringeworthy.

You’re really invested in the idea that you do everything SAHMs do and you’re committed to getting offended at however they describe their days. “Full time mom” is offensive because you consider yourself a full time mom even though you’re at work during the day and outsourcing childcare. Acknowledging that reality upsets you. A longer explanation that someone doesn’t work outside the home and takes care of the family also offends you because you like to think you do all of that too. You are the special snowflake with infinite hours in the day who has time to take care of kids and family full time and work full time! It must be great to have more than 24 hours in a day!

But really just be honest and say you’re not going to be happy until SAHMs day they’re lazy and do nothing all day. Anything else, you’re going to find a way to get offended about.

+1
You can’t be watching your kids during the day AND working. You’re just not. And that’s OK.

You're missing the point. When your kids are in school, are you then a part time mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

That's interesting. I always thought that would sound offensive, deliberately elitist of me.

It sounds worse to say things like 'I run the home!' LOL

[Anonymous]

Why are women so touchy about their roles. Full time mom, working mom! why does it matter to you. You do you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep,, there is not any perfect term for this (yet). "SAHM" is not accurate since we hardly "stay at home" most days. I think "full-time mom" is better, but if it's objectionable to other moms, I'd be happy to use some other term.

Suggestions? It would be so nice to have a term that doesn't diminish the real work we SAHMs do OR the real parenting of moms who do other work during the daytime.

Yes. I haven't ever found one word that conveys all this. I usually say something more wordy that I hope sounds neutral, like, "I don't work outside the home, I run the house and the family instead."

Let's all try on both sides not to look for offense when it's just semantics.

I see that you’re trying, but that doesn’t make sense. Because plenty of women both run the house and the family and work outside the home. There is no instead - it’s not either/or.

The above is cringeworthy.

You’re really invested in the idea that you do everything SAHMs do and you’re committed to getting offended at however they describe their days. “Full time mom” is offensive because you consider yourself a full time mom even though you’re at work during the day and outsourcing childcare. Acknowledging that reality upsets you. A longer explanation that someone doesn’t work outside the home and takes care of the family also offends you because you like to think you do all of that too. You are the special snowflake with infinite hours in the day who has time to take care of kids and family full time and work full time! It must be great to have more than 24 hours in a day!

But really just be honest and say you’re not going to be happy until SAHMs day they’re lazy and do nothing all day. Anything else, you’re going to find a way to get offended about.

Why so triggered?

When my my kids aren't with me (like now, because they're at school) I'm still their mom. I am their mom all day, every day.

I also still run my household and family, along with my husband.

Translation: I do EVERYTHING SAHMs do AND I work too! Someone give me a cookie because I’m desperate for validation of my choices!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

But they do work- they do the work of child care. Instead of paying someone to do that work, they are doing it themselves.

Would it be better if they called themselves child care providers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell me please —
Is this supposed to imply that moms who work are “part time” moms? Or is it just to tell the world that one is on full time duty? Maybe I’m being dense; just want to know if this is a dig....

It's shorthand to mean housewife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

But they do work- they do the work of child care. Instead of paying someone to do that work, they are doing it themselves.

Would it be better if they called themselves child care providers?

We aren't even necessarily talking about kids younger than school-age, though no SAHM who calls herself a full-time mom as answered what she then calls herself, though it's been asked a number of times.

Taking care or your own children is parenting. It's not a job. I don't call myself a chef when I make dinner for my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Earning the money that puts food on my kid's table, and a roof over my head is just as much part of being a parent as building legos with my kid.

It’s not though. And I’m saying this as a WOHM. I did SAH when my kid was 0-3, and there is a lot more parenting going on. A lot. As WOHMs we outsource an important part of parenting. It serves a purpose as kids get older bc they need socialization and structure but no one is ever going to convince me that going to an office and earning money is just as much a part of parenting. By those standards, why don’t you just send a check to your DH weekly? I choose to work but I’m self aware enough to know that someone else is doing the lion’s share of parenting from 9-6 daily.

I'm not following your logic of sending a check to DH.

I've been both a SAH mom and a WOH mom. It wasn't a choice. I did what was right for my family at various stages. My daycare provider didn't parent, any more than I'm parenting the kids in my classroom as a teacher Yes, I'm outsourcing important jobs, but a SAH parent who relies on someone else to provide all the income that puts food on the table is also outsourcing an important job.

So, I am currently a SAH mom and I've been WOH and part time WOH. If you stay home, it is almost always a choice. In today's economy, sitting out is a CHOICE. It might be the best/right choice for a family's situation, but it is a choice.

I didn't feel guilty about outsourcing my daytime parenting duties when I was working, and I don't feel guilty now that my DH is providing all the money. People need to quit being so concerned about other people's family structure and choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep,, there is not any perfect term for this (yet). "SAHM" is not accurate since we hardly "stay at home" most days. I think "full-time mom" is better, but if it's objectionable to other moms, I'd be happy to use some other term.

Suggestions? It would be so nice to have a term that doesn't diminish the real work we SAHMs do OR the real parenting of moms who do other work during the daytime.

Yes. I haven't ever found one word that conveys all this. I usually say something more wordy that I hope sounds neutral, like, "I don't work outside the home, I run the house and the family instead."

Let's all try on both sides not to look for offense when it's just semantics.

I see that you’re trying, but that doesn’t make sense. Because plenty of women both run the house and the family and work outside the home. There is no instead - it’s not either/or.

The above is cringeworthy.

You’re really invested in the idea that you do everything SAHMs do and you’re committed to getting offended at however they describe their days. “Full time mom” is offensive because you consider yourself a full time mom even though you’re at work during the day and outsourcing childcare. Acknowledging that reality upsets you. A longer explanation that someone doesn’t work outside the home and takes care of the family also offends you because you like to think you do all of that too. You are the special snowflake with infinite hours in the day who has time to take care of kids and family full time and work full time! It must be great to have more than 24 hours in a day!

But really just be honest and say you’re not going to be happy until SAHMs day they’re lazy and do nothing all day. Anything else, you’re going to find a way to get offended about.

Why so triggered?

When my my kids aren't with me (like now, because they're at school) I'm still their mom. I am their mom all day, every day.

I also still run my household and family, along with my husband.

Translation: I do EVERYTHING SAHMs do AND I work too! Someone give me a cookie because I’m desperate for validation of my choices!

DP. Jeez, lady. You sound crazy. Take it down a notch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep,, there is not any perfect term for this (yet). "SAHM" is not accurate since we hardly "stay at home" most days. I think "full-time mom" is better, but if it's objectionable to other moms, I'd be happy to use some other term.

Suggestions? It would be so nice to have a term that doesn't diminish the real work we SAHMs do OR the real parenting of moms who do other work during the daytime.

Yes. I haven't ever found one word that conveys all this. I usually say something more wordy that I hope sounds neutral, like, "I don't work outside the home, I run the house and the family instead."

Let's all try on both sides not to look for offense when it's just semantics.

I see that you’re trying, but that doesn’t make sense. Because plenty of women both run the house and the family and work outside the home. There is no instead - it’s not either/or.

The above is cringeworthy.

You’re really invested in the idea that you do everything SAHMs do and you’re committed to getting offended at however they describe their days. “Full time mom” is offensive because you consider yourself a full time mom even though you’re at work during the day and outsourcing childcare. Acknowledging that reality upsets you. A longer explanation that someone doesn’t work outside the home and takes care of the family also offends you because you like to think you do all of that too. You are the special snowflake with infinite hours in the day who has time to take care of kids and family full time and work full time! It must be great to have more than 24 hours in a day!

But really just be honest and say you’re not going to be happy until SAHMs day they’re lazy and do nothing all day. Anything else, you’re going to find a way to get offended about.

Why so triggered?

When my my kids aren't with me (like now, because they're at school) I'm still their mom. I am their mom all day, every day.

I also still run my household and family, along with my husband.

Translation: I do EVERYTHING SAHMs do AND I work too! Someone give me a cookie because I’m desperate for validation of my choices!

For my school-age kids? Yes, I do. Why so pissed off?

[Anonymous]

If this is something Dr. Laura is promoting, I would never use it. That woman is a misogynist bigot.

Otherwise I don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?

"I don't work."

But they do work- they do the work of child care. Instead of paying someone to do that work, they are doing it themselves.

Would it be better if they called themselves child care providers?

We aren't even necessarily talking about kids younger than school-age, though no SAHM who calls herself a full-time mom as answered what she then calls herself, though it's been asked a number of times.

Taking care or your own children is parenting. It's not a job. I don't call myself a chef when I make dinner for my family.

Maybe the best reply for SAHMs to "What do you do?" is just to say, "I'm a parent/mom."

The interlocutor can infer that means she is "just" a parent and doesn't "work."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are women so touchy about their roles. Full time mom, working mom! why does it matter to you. You do you!

The sensible response. Whatever we moms call ourselves, we've all found time to be on DCUM putting in our 2 cents, loll. This is what unifies us.