Question for parents who let kids use electronics with sound in public places without headphones

[Anonymous]

Clueless parents raising horrid children. The answer is simple - It’s bad parenting. And some people just don’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because parents are afraid to tell their kids no.

and are just plain lazy.
We've never given our kids the option of using a device when out to dinner or really out anywhere in public other than on an airplane. It's not that hard if you don't start the habit/set the expectation.

The was a dad at my sons music lessons who would entertain his other kids, who were old enough to not need to be entertained, by watching Simpsons videos with them with the volume turned up. He was the laziest parent I have ever seen and his kids were a hot mess because of his lazy parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because parents are afraid to tell their kids no.

and are just plain lazy.
We've never given our kids the option of using a device when out to dinner or really out anywhere in public other than on an airplane. It's not that hard if you don't start the habit/set the expectation.

The was a dad at my sons music lessons who would entertain his other kids, who were old enough to not need to be entertained, by watching Simpsons videos with them with the volume turned up. He was the laziest parent I have ever seen and his kids were a hot mess because of his lazy parenting.

You’re a reeeeeeeeally good parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I let my kids use my phone without headphones. I try to remember for things like a flight, but if I forget, I can promise that you would rather hear Frozen at a low volume than listen to my kids 801930842 questions and signing the songs from Frozen.

I would much rather listen to your children ask their questions and sing their songs than a device playing whatever. You might prefer they watch Frozen rather than interact with each other, you, and the world, but don't pretend you're doing it for our benefit.

+1

I find overhearing someone else's movie or music or video game is almost always more disruptive than hearing people talk or sing themselves. It's like loud cellphone conversations -- yes, people who talk really loud in confined spaces are annoying, but it's worse when it's on a cell phone. I'm not sure I can articulate why, it just is.

I also find this fascinating and wonder if there's been research on the topic. I'd never have my phone's volume on in public (barring an emergency, I guess), and I do generally find it rude, but I am open to the idea that I "shouldn't" and all of these things (in-person conversation vs a video at the same volume) are the same. But if I had to put money on it, I'd bet there's a real reason, possibly besides just cultural norms or expectations, that our brain processes these things differently. I just said in another comment that I have ADHD and thus, attentional and sensory issues, so I find these kinds of things fascinating.

Oooh, okay, this is interesting!

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/hearing-just-one-half-of-a-conversation-is-really-really-annoying-2657804/

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/09/100921101344.htm

Another PP mentioned how hearing one-sided cell conversations is more annoying than hearing both sides of a conversation, but here's an interesting tidbit:

"Emberson thinks this is because our brains more or less ignore predictable things, while paying more attention to things that are unpredictable. When both sides of the conversation are audible, it flows predictably, but a cell phone conversation is quite unpredictable."

So my hypothesis re: videos would be that when we only hear them, we are missing a lot of intended visual information, making the auditory output particularly disjointed and unpredictable to bystanders (relative to a conversation-- and if it's happening in person, you can even pick up on body language, anticipating when the other person is about to speak, etc.-- even if you're not staring at them).

As someone who works in film, I can say that film/video has rapidly increased "visual literacy"-- which is why cuts can now be faster, predominantly visual montages used instead of verbal exposition, etc. As compared to movies from, say, the 1970s, and even moreso the 1940s or early talkies. So we now have film/video media that is much less easily understood without the visuals than past film/video output from even 20-30 years ago or whatever.

I mean, that's my hypothesis anyway-- that overhearing videos without visual input can be confusing and distressing for our brains, because it feels really random and unpredictable. And I would think this g6oes triple for kids' videos and games, which are even more visual and less dialogue-driven than a lot of other media.

That makes a lot of sense, actually.

[Anonymous]

Well, how about adults who put their cell phones on speaker and you have to listen not only to them, but to the other party?! So irritating. My kids refuse to use my iphone headset, so if I don't have the other bigger headset with me, I have to struggle for them to turn the volume down.

[Anonymous]

On a cruise we were once seated with another family with a toddler. Great! we thought — until they immediately turned out a tablet with volume on an incredibly high value. My spouse and I were mortified at how rude it was for the other diners.

We don’t show a tablet to our toddler during dinner (we had it with us for the airplane), but I went back to our cabin to get the device because our toddler was screaming that we couldn’t watch a tablet too.

We were going to be seated with them for the week, so we weren’t exactly in the position to ask them to turn it down and they didn’t use headphones. We set our child’s tablet on mute, but the other family never picked up on our cues.

[Anonymous]

My kid is 2. Won’t wear them. But I keep the sound on low so... yeah BINGO might get played.

Not here to cater to the high strung. Would you rather hear tantrum and bawling ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 2. Won’t wear them. But I keep the sound on low so... yeah BINGO might get played.

Not here to cater to the high strung. Would you rather hear tantrum and bawling ?

Yes because I'd find it funny that a 2 year old is the boss of you

[Anonymous]

Not to pile on but this happened to me last night at a relatively upscale restaurant (Et Voila). Family of 4 sat down and kids were promptly handed their parent’s iPhones. One watched video with the volume up. These were not toddlers, but early elementary. They even propped up the phones while they ate. Sorry, but I never give my kids (9 and 5) my phone to play with (even when they were toddlers!), let alone at a restaurant. They color/draw or read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On a cruise we were once seated with another family with a toddler. Great! we thought — until they immediately turned out a tablet with volume on an incredibly high value. My spouse and I were mortified at how rude it was for the other diners.

We don’t show a tablet to our toddler during dinner (we had it with us for the airplane), but I went back to our cabin to get the device because our toddler was screaming that we couldn’t watch a tablet too.

We were going to be seated with them for the week, so we weren’t exactly in the position to ask them to turn it down and they didn’t use headphones. We set our child’s tablet on mute, but the other family never picked up on our cues.

You find a manager who tells them to put on mute as it is bothering many other guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to pile on but this happened to me last night at a relatively upscale restaurant (Et Voila). Family of 4 sat down and kids were promptly handed their parent’s iPhones. One watched video with the volume up. These were not toddlers, but early elementary. They even propped up the phones while they ate. Sorry, but I never give my kids (9 and 5) my phone to play with (even when they were toddlers!), let alone at a restaurant. They color/draw or read.

My parents took us to restaurants and it was expected that we sit and behave ourselves. There were no electronic or coloring books, etc. I did the same with my children and until such time as they could fobtjud, they stayed home with a sitter. Restaurants, particularly upscale restaurants, need a 'no child under 12 policy."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On a cruise we were once seated with another family with a toddler. Great! we thought — until they immediately turned out a tablet with volume on an incredibly high value. My spouse and I were mortified at how rude it was for the other diners.

We don’t show a tablet to our toddler during dinner (we had it with us for the airplane), but I went back to our cabin to get the device because our toddler was screaming that we couldn’t watch a tablet too.

We were going to be seated with them for the week, so we weren’t exactly in the position to ask them to turn it down and they didn’t use headphones. We set our child’s tablet on mute, but the other family never picked up on our cues.

Oh I could give a F if I had to sit with them for a week. Say something or you don’t get to complain. If they still insisted I would complain to the cruise line and have my seat moved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 2. Won’t wear them. But I keep the sound on low so... yeah BINGO might get played.

Not here to cater to the high strung. Would you rather hear tantrum and bawling ?

It’s actually insane your child can’t act normal without a video on. Really, tantrum and bawling? How did you get to this point? Seems like an utter parenting failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 2. Won’t wear them. But I keep the sound on low so... yeah BINGO might get played.

Not here to cater to the high strung. Would you rather hear tantrum and bawling ?

Then you don’t get to take your kid out in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to pile on but this happened to me last night at a relatively upscale restaurant (Et Voila). Family of 4 sat down and kids were promptly handed their parent’s iPhones. One watched video with the volume up. These were not toddlers, but early elementary. They even propped up the phones while they ate. Sorry, but I never give my kids (9 and 5) my phone to play with (even when they were toddlers!), let alone at a restaurant. They color/draw or read.

My parents took us to restaurants and it was expected that we sit and behave ourselves. There were no electronic or coloring books, etc. I did the same with my children and until such time as they could fobtjud, they stayed home with a sitter. Restaurants, particularly upscale restaurants, need a 'no child under 12 policy."

I'd be happy with a "no audible electronics' policy.