Question for parents who let kids use electronics with sound in public places without headphones

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to pile on but this happened to me last night at a relatively upscale restaurant (Et Voila). Family of 4 sat down and kids were promptly handed their parent’s iPhones. One watched video with the volume up. These were not toddlers, but early elementary. They even propped up the phones while they ate. Sorry, but I never give my kids (9 and 5) my phone to play with (even when they were toddlers!), let alone at a restaurant. They color/draw or read.

My parents took us to restaurants and it was expected that we sit and behave ourselves. There were no electronic or coloring books, etc. I did the same with my children and until such time as they could fobtjud, they stayed home with a sitter. Restaurants, particularly upscale restaurants, need a 'no child under 12 policy."

I'd be happy with a "no audible electronics' policy.

Restaurants are free to ban children under 12 but they certainly won't be getting the $20k per year I spend eating out. This is why you will never see this happen at 80% of restaurants fail by their 5th year anyway. And yes, I let my kids use ipad at low volume (where I can barely hear it at the table is the rule).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to pile on but this happened to me last night at a relatively upscale restaurant (Et Voila). Family of 4 sat down and kids were promptly handed their parent’s iPhones. One watched video with the volume up. These were not toddlers, but early elementary. They even propped up the phones while they ate. Sorry, but I never give my kids (9 and 5) my phone to play with (even when they were toddlers!), let alone at a restaurant. They color/draw or read.

My parents took us to restaurants and it was expected that we sit and behave ourselves. There were no electronic or coloring books, etc. I did the same with my children and until such time as they could fobtjud, they stayed home with a sitter. Restaurants, particularly upscale restaurants, need a 'no child under 12 policy."

I'd be happy with a "no audible electronics' policy.

Restaurants are free to ban children under 12 but they certainly won't be getting the $20k per year I spend eating out. This is why you will never see this happen at 80% of restaurants fail by their 5th year anyway. And yes, I let my kids use ipad at low volume (where I can barely hear it at the table is the rule).

This is embarrassing. You should feel embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to pile on but this happened to me last night at a relatively upscale restaurant (Et Voila). Family of 4 sat down and kids were promptly handed their parent’s iPhones. One watched video with the volume up. These were not toddlers, but early elementary. They even propped up the phones while they ate. Sorry, but I never give my kids (9 and 5) my phone to play with (even when they were toddlers!), let alone at a restaurant. They color/draw or read.

My parents took us to restaurants and it was expected that we sit and behave ourselves. There were no electronic or coloring books, etc. I did the same with my children and until such time as they could fobtjud, they stayed home with a sitter. Restaurants, particularly upscale restaurants, need a 'no child under 12 policy."

I'd be happy with a "no audible electronics' policy.

Restaurants are free to ban children under 12 but they certainly won't be getting the $20k per year I spend eating out. This is why you will never see this happen at 80% of restaurants fail by their 5th year anyway. And yes, I let my kids use ipad at low volume (where I can barely hear it at the table is the rule).

Boo hoo they’ll miss you and your rude kid so much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never seen this. I go to restaurants, airports, and hotels, and I use public transportation. And from the responses on this thread, it seems like very few people do this, and the few that do use it only rarely, try to be as unobtrusive as possible, use it for short periods of time, and would stop if asked.

I see this all the time. Restaurants, airports, doctor's offices, it doesn't matter. Kids are constantly on devices with the volume on. No, I don't want to listen to your kid's very loud and stupid game or show, and I would never let me children do that. I have a pair of earphones in my purse at all times, although I'm not one to give my kid a phone. Play a game, talk to them. I have five-year-old twins and they have never used a device other than at home or on an airplane, both with headphones. It's not hard!

I must just be oblivious to it.
How, with five year old twins to manage in an airport or restaurant are you spending so much of your focus on other kids? My kids are constantly asking questions or wanting to look at something or talk or play a game. I usually feel like I can hardly look at the menu, let alone check out what other children are doing.

I notice it more when I'm not with my kids but they're also not all-consuming so I do hear what's going on around me. I can both play Uno and hear the conversation at the table next to me at the same time. Honestly, I wish I couldn't. I hate that I can hear everything.

I can do both too, but only if I am trying and more or less ignoring the conversation at my own table. I mean, kids don’t play UNO silently. And typically my husband is also there talking.
How often is it really, that you are out at a restaurant with your family, and you feel that your meal was significantly disrupted by a child watching a movie? I get that it happens if you are alone. But most of the people responding here claim to be parents.

PP here. Maybe once a month? We eat out frequently on weekends so it's not every single time we're out, but I'd say once a month at a restaurant a kid at a table next to us is loudly (and I mean loudly) watching an obnoxious cartoon (some of the voices and songs are very grating) or playing a game on a device. It is disruptive, even though I am having a conversation and playing games with my family. Honestly, it would probably bother me less if I were alone and not trying to talk to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I let my kids play ipad before the food arrives, then we convert to eating and family conversation. My rule is that the ipad can't be louder than the voices we can here at the next table (meaning, the ipad sound must be quieter to the other table than their voices are to us). Seriously, so many restaurants in DC are so freakin loud. 40 year old Karens who never got married HAW HAW HAWING as loud as they can to attract attention. Frat bruhs bruhing with their 8 bruhs in the bar 8 feet away from the dining tables. A child on an ipad is not the biggest disruption in DC dining.

Why don't you have a family conversation before the food arrives? Honest question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I let my kids play ipad before the food arrives, then we convert to eating and family conversation. My rule is that the ipad can't be louder than the voices we can here at the next table (meaning, the ipad sound must be quieter to the other table than their voices are to us). Seriously, so many restaurants in DC are so freakin loud. 40 year old Karens who never got married HAW HAW HAWING as loud as they can to attract attention. Frat bruhs bruhing with their 8 bruhs in the bar 8 feet away from the dining tables. A child on an ipad is not the biggest disruption in DC dining.

Your point is taken IMO, but:

1) A child not being the biggest distraction doesn't mean they're not a distraction and

2) If you let your kids play iPad, then it sounds like you planned to bring it, in which case, bringing headphones seems like a reasonable ask, and good etiquette to model for your kids. I won't get into the etiquette of bringing an iPad in the first place, and I do understand some kids have sensory issues that preclude headphones, but just saying.

This does bring up another question, though-- assuming typically-developing kids, if you (general you) allow devices without headphones in public, when do you stop allowing it? Presumably you're not generally okay with teens and adults using them without headphones?

I feel a lot of people are saying their kids are too little to use headphones or whatever, but when does it end, in your experience? Or is this all such relatively new technology that this generation will simply continue not to use headphones into adulthood?

My feeling is that it's weirder to have headphones on at a table. You're disconnected from the environment around you. As a parent, I can still talk to my child while they're on their ipad. So, I only see headphones worsening the problem. If the iPad is less loud than the next table then I don't see how it's contributing to a negative sound environment in any way.

That's... an interesting perspective, and I mean that sincerely. I may just be coming at this from the POV that bringing your TV into a public place (public TVs notwithstanding!) is already "weird" and arguably impolite to your fellow diners. Talking to your child while they're on an iPad in a restaurant... IDK. I'm not being judgy here, it's just... I don't find that less weird or less rude than headphones. Kind of like... you are already intending to occupy their attention with an electronic device so it seems a bit artificial to avoid the visual confirmation of that fact. I mean, even if you don't think the sound is distracting, you're saying you'd rather other people be subjected to the sound than have to see your kid wearing headphones (and you have to get your child's attention in a non-verbal way, I guess).

In order to... what? Like, why is it "weird" for a kid to have headphones on in a restaurant? Because it calls attention to the fact that you are giving them a device? Which you are? I feel like that ship has sailed, though I'm willing to hear your perspective, if that's not why it seems "weird" to you.

+1000

I like you, immediate PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, how about adults who put their cell phones on speaker and you have to listen not only to them, but to the other party?! So irritating. My kids refuse to use my iphone headset, so if I don't have the other bigger headset with me, I have to struggle for them to turn the volume down.

Adults who do that are super rude. Full stop.

But if your kids refuse to use your iphone headset, you refuse to let them use your iphone. Is that really so hard to understand? Why are you struggling with your kids to turn the volume on your phone down? Really, read what you just wrote. Are you not the parent? And yes, I have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On a cruise we were once seated with another family with a toddler. Great! we thought — until they immediately turned out a tablet with volume on an incredibly high value. My spouse and I were mortified at how rude it was for the other diners.

We don’t show a tablet to our toddler during dinner (we had it with us for the airplane), but I went back to our cabin to get the device because our toddler was screaming that we couldn’t watch a tablet too.

We were going to be seated with them for the week, so we weren’t exactly in the position to ask them to turn it down and they didn’t use headphones. We set our child’s tablet on mute, but the other family never picked up on our cues.

We were on vacation with our in-laws (my husband's sister and her husband and their kids) and they allowed their kids to each have their device at the dinner table. We don't allow that, so our kids protested for the first meal and when we made it clear that we were not going to budge, they got over it. Was it fair to them? Not really. But I'd rather they feel like things were unfair for a week's worth of meals than think they can start watching devices at the table because they complained about not being able to do it. I didn't realize how strict of a parent I was until I came on here.

[Anonymous]

I'm not an anal or judgey parent and ignore most of these threads of "kids today, blah blah blah" but can't believe the defenders on this thread.

My kid (8) is special needs with extreme sensory issues. We spend a lot of time around other SN families. Anyone who knows anything about SN kids knows that they tend to *thrive* with headphones. That's why you frequently see SN kids with the big headphones on. So the people citing that their kids physically can't wear earphones - I call liar.

Also, my special needs kid has always managed to be in restaurants without needing screens. And he's a freakin' handful of behavioral issues. For the posters saying they need BINGO turned up or their kid will have a massive tantrum - seems like your kid is on the severe end of behavioral issues that most kids aren't having and that you should probably opt out of restaurants for a year. Because 95% of kids don't have the same issues.

Granted, there are settings when i periodically give my kid access to a screen in public. Usually in the waiting room at the many doctors appointments we have, or if DH or I is out with a friend and had to bring DS along for whatever reason (think, the other spouse is traveling) and are there to talk to the other adult (not to entertain DS), then DS might get the screen. And you know what? Since birth, there are a million things he can do without volume. Spelling/reading apps. Playing solitaire. Angry birds. Like, millions of apps without sound. They don't have to be watching Baby Bum Bum. If you insist on Baby Bum Bum, you're being inconsiderate to those around you because you literally could just choose another app without sound that would have no impact on those around you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, how about adults who put their cell phones on speaker and you have to listen not only to them, but to the other party?! So irritating. My kids refuse to use my iphone headset, so if I don't have the other bigger headset with me, I have to struggle for them to turn the volume down.

Adults who do that are super rude. Full stop.

But if your kids refuse to use your iphone headset, you refuse to let them use your iphone. Is that really so hard to understand? Why are you struggling with your kids to turn the volume on your phone down? Really, read what you just wrote. Are you not the parent? And yes, I have kids.

Because I am a single mom of twin boys, and this might not be on the top of my "survival" list, that's why. And just to clarify, this only happens when we fly for a trip, or when kids are sick and I bring them to my office, so rarely. We do not go out to restaurants much, so it is not a constant issue for me. And even with these challenges, I struggle until they turn the volume down. So you can stop judging in the typical DCUM way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, how about adults who put their cell phones on speaker and you have to listen not only to them, but to the other party?! So irritating. My kids refuse to use my iphone headset, so if I don't have the other bigger headset with me, I have to struggle for them to turn the volume down.

Adults who do that are super rude. Full stop.

But if your kids refuse to use your iphone headset, you refuse to let them use your iphone. Is that really so hard to understand? Why are you struggling with your kids to turn the volume on your phone down? Really, read what you just wrote. Are you not the parent? And yes, I have kids.

Because I am a single mom of twin boys, and this might not be on the top of my "survival" list, that's why. And just to clarify, this only happens when we fly for a trip, or when kids are sick and I bring them to my office, so rarely. We do not go out to restaurants much, so it is not a constant issue for me. And even with these challenges, I struggle until they turn the volume down. So you can stop judging in the typical DCUM way.

I'm the PP. I also have twins and my husband travels overseas a lot for long stretches at a time. Sure, you win because you're a full-time single mom, but I don't think your excuse is a valid one for letting your kids listen to your phone without headsets on an airplane. It's just rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I let my kids play ipad before the food arrives, then we convert to eating and family conversation. My rule is that the ipad can't be louder than the voices we can here at the next table (meaning, the ipad sound must be quieter to the other table than their voices are to us). Seriously, so many restaurants in DC are so freakin loud. 40 year old Karens who never got married HAW HAW HAWING as loud as they can to attract attention. Frat bruhs bruhing with their 8 bruhs in the bar 8 feet away from the dining tables. A child on an ipad is not the biggest disruption in DC dining.

Your point is taken IMO, but:

1) A child not being the biggest distraction doesn't mean they're not a distraction and

2) If you let your kids play iPad, then it sounds like you planned to bring it, in which case, bringing headphones seems like a reasonable ask, and good etiquette to model for your kids. I won't get into the etiquette of bringing an iPad in the first place, and I do understand some kids have sensory issues that preclude headphones, but just saying.

This does bring up another question, though-- assuming typically-developing kids, if you (general you) allow devices without headphones in public, when do you stop allowing it? Presumably you're not generally okay with teens and adults using them without headphones?

I feel a lot of people are saying their kids are too little to use headphones or whatever, but when does it end, in your experience? Or is this all such relatively new technology that this generation will simply continue not to use headphones into adulthood?

My feeling is that it's weirder to have headphones on at a table. You're disconnected from the environment around you. As a parent, I can still talk to my child while they're on their ipad. So, I only see headphones worsening the problem. If the iPad is less loud than the next table then I don't see how it's contributing to a negative sound environment in any way.

That's... an interesting perspective, and I mean that sincerely. I may just be coming at this from the POV that bringing your TV into a public place (public TVs notwithstanding!) is already "weird" and arguably impolite to your fellow diners. Talking to your child while they're on an iPad in a restaurant... IDK. I'm not being judgy here, it's just... I don't find that less weird or less rude than headphones. Kind of like... you are already intending to occupy their attention with an electronic device so it seems a bit artificial to avoid the visual confirmation of that fact. I mean, even if you don't think the sound is distracting, you're saying you'd rather other people be subjected to the sound than have to see your kid wearing headphones (and you have to get your child's attention in a non-verbal way, I guess).

In order to... what? Like, why is it "weird" for a kid to have headphones on in a restaurant? Because it calls attention to the fact that you are giving them a device? Which you are? I feel like that ship has sailed, though I'm willing to hear your perspective, if that's not why it seems "weird" to you.

+1000

I like you, immediate PP.

Thank you!

I manage to have plenty of friends IRL, but I don't get that a lot on DCUM.

Maybe it's just me, but when I envision the other PP's scenario, I can't help but think it's not unusual for their family to eat while using devices, or at least have conversations and do other things while using devices, and I just can't relate. I have ADHD myself, so it's a struggle in some ways to keep me off my phone, but on the other hand (perhaps also d/t ADHD), I find it really frustrating/isolating/distracting/sad? to try and interact with someone whose attention is so divided. I already perceive that person to be pretty "disconnected." It's hard for me to see how adding headphones to the mix doesn't do more good, on the whole, than harm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, how about adults who put their cell phones on speaker and you have to listen not only to them, but to the other party?! So irritating. My kids refuse to use my iphone headset, so if I don't have the other bigger headset with me, I have to struggle for them to turn the volume down.

Adults who do that are super rude. Full stop.

But if your kids refuse to use your iphone headset, you refuse to let them use your iphone. Is that really so hard to understand? Why are you struggling with your kids to turn the volume on your phone down? Really, read what you just wrote. Are you not the parent? And yes, I have kids.

Because I am a single mom of twin boys, and this might not be on the top of my "survival" list, that's why. And just to clarify, this only happens when we fly for a trip, or when kids are sick and I bring them to my office, so rarely. We do not go out to restaurants much, so it is not a constant issue for me. And even with these challenges, I struggle until they turn the volume down. So you can stop judging in the typical DCUM way.

They don’t wear the headphones, they don’t get the device. Period. Time to start parenting your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On a cruise we were once seated with another family with a toddler. Great! we thought — until they immediately turned out a tablet with volume on an incredibly high value. My spouse and I were mortified at how rude it was for the other diners.

We don’t show a tablet to our toddler during dinner (we had it with us for the airplane), but I went back to our cabin to get the device because our toddler was screaming that we couldn’t watch a tablet too.

We were going to be seated with them for the week, so we weren’t exactly in the position to ask them to turn it down and they didn’t use headphones. We set our child’s tablet on mute, but the other family never picked up on our cues.

You find a manager who tells them to put on mute as it is bothering many other guests.

I tried this at Mike’s American in Springfield last year. Kid watching movie on an iPad loudly during Easter dinner. Was told they couldn’t ask the family to put it away, so we no longer dine there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to pile on but this happened to me last night at a relatively upscale restaurant (Et Voila). Family of 4 sat down and kids were promptly handed their parent’s iPhones. One watched video with the volume up. These were not toddlers, but early elementary. They even propped up the phones while they ate. Sorry, but I never give my kids (9 and 5) my phone to play with (even when they were toddlers!), let alone at a restaurant. They color/draw or read.

My parents took us to restaurants and it was expected that we sit and behave ourselves. There were no electronic or coloring books, etc. I did the same with my children and until such time as they could fobtjud, they stayed home with a sitter. Restaurants, particularly upscale restaurants, need a 'no child under 12 policy."

I'd be happy with a "no audible electronics' policy.

Restaurants are free to ban children under 12 but they certainly won't be getting the $20k per year I spend eating out. This is why you will never see this happen at 80% of restaurants fail by their 5th year anyway. And yes, I let my kids use ipad at low volume (where I can barely hear it at the table is the rule).

This is embarrassing. You should feel embarrassed. [/quot

+ 1,000