How much do you pay for in-home care for an infant?

[Anonymous]

I have to say, having read all of these posts, that clearly none of our complaints apply to the parents who post here. Obviously none of you:

"Forget" your check book.

Show up late to pick up your child...or my personal favorite, work 20 hours a week while your child is in care 50?

Arrive after a meal and then expect your provider to "whip" something up for your child.

Stand back while your child hangs off door-knob, runs through landscaping, licks the front door, hits another child, hits you, jumps on the couch, wears shoes in the house, etc.

And, of course, you never brought your child sick. Never gave them a dose of cold medicine or Tylenol and sent them off to daycare so that you didn't have to miss work.

When your child was disruptive at daycare and your provider let you know, of course you always addressed the situation with the child. You never blew it off so that what little time you have with your child in the evening wasn't hampered by all that pesky discpline.

Those projects we worked so hard on aren't sitting in the back of your car all crumpled up, right? Because nothing encourages a child like not even bothering to hang it on fridge for a day.

Now, I know you don't do these things, but surely you can understand for those of us who have parents who do behave in this manner how difficult it can be. It can't be too big of a leap to see where some of the frustration and bitterness comes from? But if you do indeed see a bit of yourself in here, my message to you is this: Paying your daycare bill entitles you to nothing more than what is stated in your contract. If you signed, live it. If you don't like it, for God's sake, don't sign it. But trying to push the boundaries and see just how much you can get away with because after all you ARE paying is just poor parenting.

I have 6 famlies in care, 3 of them have been here for 5 years and the remainder have been here for 2+ years. I have an excellent program that includes a specialized spanish and piano instructor 2x per month, and early education specialist once per month, and a "travel-tot's instructor twice per month ...and none of that even begins to touch on what I do as far as field trips, lesson plans, and activities. Most of you wouldn't last the week in my program. But then again, I cater to families who are looking for the best possible care; not the cheapest.

[Anonymous]

I have absolutely no doubt that daycare provider must be a trying job. None. Which is why I'm not a daycare provider. The very idea of a roomful of screaming toddlers makes me shudder. Just my two can have me at wits end by evening. But when I read things like this, my sympathy - and let me be clear here - for someone like Judy, not daycare providers in general, fades.

http://www.justthebabysitter.com/2009_12_01_archive.html

Parents don't care in other regards either. Parents really don't care if my name is Judy or Sally or Jane. They simply want my warm body to open the door and take their snot ridden child for the day so that they might skip off to their kid-free, snot-free work environments where they will chat with co-workers over coffee about the sky-high price of daycare and their designer jeans.

Oh, I know what you are all thinking. Undoubtedly there will be someone who reads this blog who vehemently disagrees with my opinion. Well, let me say something to those people; actions speak louder than words. I've seen it all and I can say with complete unadulterated honesty that parents think of themselves. They don't think of their kids and they certainly don't think of their daycare provider. No, what's good for the parent is good for the parent.

She really, really ought to consider another line of work. It seems abundantly clear she's burned out on daycare.

[Anonymous]

I read thru this very interesting thread. Judy sounds like the type of provider that, if you treat her well, she will treat you well. My daughter is in daycare and I have witnessed some things parents do that surprise me. Sending their kids to school with green snot and a hacking cough, providing junk food for them to eat, not washing their child's hands before entering the classroom (despite a big sign on the door), and not dressing their kids appropriately. Most parents seem to be decent, but don't assume all parents are conscientous. While most of us don't blink an eye when our hairdresser leaves us waiting for 20 minutes before our $250+tip hair appt that took about 2 hours, we get offended when someone is upset because she doesn't get paid on time for watching a child. Put yourselves in a daycare providers shoes - you are caring for someone else's kids, so you are dealing with several kids that are being raised in several different ways. You have to accomodate several different personalities, not only the kids, but the parents, too. I have sat in my child's class, and I don't see how anyone can keep their sanity, esp. with the more difficult children. And funny enough, those with the annoying kids tend to have annoying parents. We expect a caretaker to be professional, but seriously, after day in and day out dealing with kids, esp. ones that aren't so easy going, and then dealing with demanding parents, I would just go crazy. I treat my provider like gold because she is watching my little one. I don't want to give her any reason to "take it out" on my daughter during those moments when things get tough. I do my best at work, but will HAPPILY go out of my way for those who treat me nicely. I am sure the same thought process holds true for anyone. My boss thanked me the other day for something I did...guess what? It made me feel good and gave me the extra juice I needed to stay late and finish up another project. So, before you all jump on the anti-Judy bandwagon, think about this:

- Your daycare provider might very well dislike you and your kid. She probably just isn't telling you. I know I wouldn't like some of the kids and parents in my daughters class. And...at one point, it may influence the level of care the child receives.
-Your daycare provider is not making a lot of money, and she probably has many days where she hates her job. Make her day brighter by telling her how much you appreciate her and don't send your kid to her if he has diarrhea or other illness. Other kids' poop is nasty enough already!
-How you treat your provider is how they will treat your kid. My co-worker sent her sick kid to daycare and complained that he was covered in snot when she went to pick him up. Serves her right.
-There are a lot of day care providers out there who don't belong in the job and will be horrible depsite anything you do - visit your child often and observe. It is your job to remove them from the situation. My SIL raved about her daycare. I was going to use that one and checked the compliance records and found too many citations. I brought this to my SILs attention. She took some time off from work and made a surprise visit (something she should have been doing consistently). She took her child out on the spot after witnessing her formerly sweet provider in action.
-Almost every provider out there feels the same way as Judy. They just aren't as outspoken about it.

[Anonymous]

PP: No, I have not done any of those things you list. Nor did we look for the cheapest possible care for my child; we looked long and hard for a program that we thought would best suit our child; a place where she could not just be "cared for," but thrive. I am a good and caring parent; I am a responsible and responsive parent where my daycare providers are concerned, AND YET I still take issue with what the in-home providers have posted on this thread and still stand by my earlier posts.

PP, you raise some valid points regarding the fact that some frustration is inevitable, but then you shoot it all to hell when you say things like, "Most of you wouldn't last a week in my program". WTF? Just because I object to the BS being slung at parents on this thread, you think you can tell what kind of parent I am or whether or not I would live up to your standards? Get a grip.

If you paint all parents with a broad brush and insult us, how else do you expect us to respond? If I were to write something ridiculous like, "all in-home providers are just too stupid to do anything else", how would you react? You would be fightin' mad! And you would have a right to be. By that same logic, the parents who read the venom and bile on this thread have every right to object.

[Anonymous]

I have to say, having read all of these posts, that clearly none of our complaints apply to the parents who post here. Obviously none of you:

"Forget" your check book.

Show up late to pick up your child...or my personal favorite, work 20 hours a week while your child is in care 50?
Arrive after a meal and then expect your provider to "whip" something up for your child.

Stand back while your child hangs off door-knob, runs through landscaping, licks the front door, hits another child, hits you, jumps on the couch, wears shoes in the house, etc.

And, of course, you never brought your child sick. Never gave them a dose of cold medicine or Tylenol and sent them off to daycare so that you didn't have to miss work.

When your child was disruptive at daycare and your provider let you know, of course you always addressed the situation with the child. You never blew it off so that what little time you have with your child in the evening wasn't hampered by all that pesky discpline.

Those projects we worked so hard on aren't sitting in the back of your car all crumpled up, right? Because nothing encourages a child like not even bothering to hang it on fridge for a day.

Now, I know you don't do these things, but surely you can understand for those of us who have parents who do behave in this manner how difficult it can be. It can't be too big of a leap to see where some of the frustration and bitterness comes from? But if you do indeed see a bit of yourself in here, my message to you is this: Paying your daycare bill entitles you to nothing more than what is stated in your contract. If you signed, live it. If you don't like it, for God's sake, don't sign it. But trying to push the boundaries and see just how much you can get away with because after all you ARE paying is just poor parenting.

I have 6 famlies in care, 3 of them have been here for 5 years and the remainder have been here for 2+ years. I have an excellent program that includes a specialized spanish and piano instructor 2x per month, and early education specialist once per month, and a "travel-tot's instructor twice per month ...and none of that even begins to touch on what I do as far as field trips, lesson plans, and activities. Most of you wouldn't last the week in my program. But then again, I cater to families who are looking for the best possible care; not the cheapest.

Excuse me? If you are getting paid for 50 hours what the hell do you care how many hours I am at work? Maybe I am trying to do other things, like clean my house, do wash, go grocery shopping or one of the other million things I have to do. You don't have the right to dictate how I use my time while I am paying you to watch my child. Oh, and you are right, I can honestly say I have NEVER done any of the things you outlined. You really need to get a better screening process, or learn to speak up. If it sucks so much to be you, then go out and get a job that you don't have to deal with anyone. Because trust me, in the working world you are ALWAYS going to encounter and asshole or two (or five). But do I start a blog so all the working moms of the world can share in my bitterness? Nope. I simply do my job and collect my paycheck and chalk it up to the fact that there are all different kinds of people out there - some are nice, some are not, such is life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP: No, I have not done any of those things you list. Nor did we look for the cheapest possible care for my child; we looked long and hard for a program that we thought would best suit our child; a place where she could not just be "cared for," but thrive. I am a good and caring parent; I am a responsible and responsive parent where my daycare providers are concerned, AND YET I still take issue with what the in-home providers have posted on this thread and still stand by my earlier posts.

PP, you raise some valid points regarding the fact that some frustration is inevitable, but then you shoot it all to hell when you say things like, "Most of you wouldn't last a week in my program". WTF? Just because I object to the BS being slung at parents on this thread, you think you can tell what kind of parent I am or whether or not I would live up to your standards? Get a grip.

If you paint all parents with a broad brush and insult us, how else do you expect us to respond? If I were to write something ridiculous like, "all in-home providers are just too stupid to do anything else", how would you react? You would be fightin' mad! And you would have a right to be. By that same logic, the parents who read the venom and bile on this thread have every right to object.

This was directed to PP 15:04.

[Anonymous]

PP, thank you for posting! You are probably very loved by your provider because you seem like you treat her with respect.

[Anonymous]

[quI read thru this very interesting thread. Judy sounds like the type of provider that, if you treat her well, she will treat you well. My daughter is in daycare and I have witnessed some things parents do that surprise me. Sending their kids to school with green snot and a hacking cough, providing junk food for them to eat, not washing their child's hands before entering the classroom (despite a big sign on the door), and not dressing their kids appropriately. Most parents seem to be decent, but don't assume all parents are conscientous. While most of us don't blink an eye when our hairdresser leaves us waiting for 20 minutes before our $250+tip hair appt that took about 2 hours, we get offended when someone is upset because she doesn't get paid on time for watching a child. Put yourselves in a daycare providers shoes - you are caring for someone else's kids, so you are dealing with several kids that are being raised in several different ways. You have to accomodate several different personalities, not only the kids, but the parents, too. I have sat in my child's class, and I don't see how anyone can keep their sanity, esp. with the more difficult children. And funny enough, those with the annoying kids tend to have annoying parents. We expect a caretaker to be professional, but seriously, after day in and day out dealing with kids, esp. ones that aren't so easy going, and then dealing with demanding parents, I would just go crazy. I treat my provider like gold because she is watching my little one. I don't want to give her any reason to "take it out" on my daughter during those moments when things get tough. I do my best at work, but will HAPPILY go out of my way for those who treat me nicely. I am sure the same thought process holds true for anyone. My boss thanked me the other day for something I did...guess what? It made me feel good and gave me the extra juice I needed to stay late and finish up another project. So, before you all jump on the anti-Judy bandwagon, think about this:

- Your daycare provider might very well dislike you and your kid. She probably just isn't telling you. I know I wouldn't like some of the kids and parents in my daughters class. And...at one point, it may influence the level of care the child receives.
-Your daycare provider is not making a lot of money, and she probably has many days where she hates her job. Make her day brighter by telling her how much you appreciate her and don't send your kid to her if he has diarrhea or other illness. Other kids' poop is nasty enough already!
-How you treat your provider is how they will treat your kid. My co-worker sent her sick kid to daycare and complained that he was covered in snot when she went to pick him up. Serves her right.
-There are a lot of day care providers out there who don't belong in the job and will be horrible depsite anything you do - visit your child often and observe. It is your job to remove them from the situation. My SIL raved about her daycare. I was going to use that one and checked the compliance records and found too many citations. I brought this to my SILs attention. She took some time off from work and made a surprise visit (something she should have been doing consistently). She took her child out on the spot after witnessing her formerly sweet provider in action.
-Almost every provider out there feels the same way as Judy. They just aren't as outspoken about it.





Now this is a parent I would love to have. THANK YOU for this fantastic post!
Trust me, I know a lot of other providers and centres, and I know for a fact they talk about you behind your back.
If you feel you can do a better job, stay home and raise your own children. Any job is going to stress you out regardless of how much you love it. And as for being the centre of the earth for condolences, it is only common courtesy to offer sympathy in a situation like a PP said. She is not asking for an a$$ kissing, just some acknowledgement of what she has just been through. Just shows you how heartless some people can be.

J&JMum792

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP: No, I have not done any of those things you list. Nor did we look for the cheapest possible care for my child; we looked long and hard for a program that we thought would best suit our child; a place where she could not just be "cared for," but thrive. I am a good and caring parent; I am a responsible and responsive parent where my daycare providers are concerned, AND YET I still take issue with what the in-home providers have posted on this thread and still stand by my earlier posts.

PP, you raise some valid points regarding the fact that some frustration is inevitable, but then you shoot it all to hell when you say things like, "Most of you wouldn't last a week in my program". WTF? Just because I object to the BS being slung at parents on this thread, you think you can tell what kind of parent I am or whether or not I would live up to your standards? Get a grip.

If you paint all parents with a broad brush and insult us, how else do you expect us to respond? If I were to write something ridiculous like, "all in-home providers are just too stupid to do anything else", how would you react? You would be fightin' mad! And you would have a right to be. By that same logic, the parents who read the venom and bile on this thread have every right to object.

I would have to say the difference here is that I said, "MOST of you wouldn't last week" as opposed to "ALL in-home providers..."

See, most versus all...

Although I do think it is interesting that you included yourself in the "most" category since you said that you don't do anything that I listed. If you dn't do those things, then you wouldn't have been included in that category, now would you?

[Anonymous]

My 15:34 post is meant with regards to post at 15:21.

[Anonymous]

I read thru this very interesting thread. Judy sounds like the type of provider that, if you treat her well, she will treat you well. My daughter is in daycare and I have witnessed some things parents do that surprise me. Sending their kids to school with green snot and a hacking cough, providing junk food for them to eat, not washing their child's hands before entering the classroom (despite a big sign on the door), and not dressing their kids appropriately. Most parents seem to be decent, but don't assume all parents are conscientous. While most of us don't blink an eye when our hairdresser leaves us waiting for 20 minutes before our $250+tip hair appt that took about 2 hours, we get offended when someone is upset because she doesn't get paid on time for watching a child. Put yourselves in a daycare providers shoes - you are caring for someone else's kids, so you are dealing with several kids that are being raised in several different ways. You have to accomodate several different personalities, not only the kids, but the parents, too. I have sat in my child's class, and I don't see how anyone can keep their sanity, esp. with the more difficult children. And funny enough, those with the annoying kids tend to have annoying parents. We expect a caretaker to be professional, but seriously, after day in and day out dealing with kids, esp. ones that aren't so easy going, and then dealing with demanding parents, I would just go crazy. I treat my provider like gold because she is watching my little one. I don't want to give her any reason to "take it out" on my daughter during those moments when things get tough. I do my best at work, but will HAPPILY go out of my way for those who treat me nicely. I am sure the same thought process holds true for anyone. My boss thanked me the other day for something I did...guess what? It made me feel good and gave me the extra juice I needed to stay late and finish up another project. So, before you all jump on the anti-Judy bandwagon, think about this:
- Your daycare provider might very well dislike you and your kid. She probably just isn't telling you. I know I wouldn't like some of the kids and parents in my daughters class. And...at one point, it may influence the level of care the child receives.
-Your daycare provider is not making a lot of money, and she probably has many days where she hates her job. Make her day brighter by telling her how much you appreciate her and don't send your kid to her if he has diarrhea or other illness. Other kids' poop is nasty enough already!
-How you treat your provider is how they will treat your kid. My co-worker sent her sick kid to daycare and complained that he was covered in snot when she went to pick him up. Serves her right.
-There are a lot of day care providers out there who don't belong in the job and will be horrible depsite anything you do - visit your child often and observe. It is your job to remove them from the situation. My SIL raved about her daycare. I was going to use that one and checked the compliance records and found too many citations. I brought this to my SILs attention. She took some time off from work and made a surprise visit (something she should have been doing consistently). She took her child out on the spot after witnessing her formerly sweet provider in action.
-Almost every provider out there feels the same way as Judy. They just aren't as outspoken about it.

Yes, poor Miss Judy. I guess it's OK for her to lump all of us parents as horrible people, shirking our parental responsibilities, and then go off on her blog about how horrendous we are as parents But God forbid we say anything bad about her. I think posters like this are missing the point. We all agree - it's a tough job, it's often a thankless job. But it doesn't give any of you the right to call me a bad parent, or to say that I pay late, pick up my kid late, expect special services, etc. That's just not true. I really don't know what hell hole you people live in, but I have never seen any of that behavior at my providers home. And if it were to happen, trust me, she would speak up and it wouldn't happen again. She certainly wouldn't be bitter and lump the rest of us into that category. I don't see how Miss Judy can blast all of us, and not expect to have us take offense to what she is saying.

[Anonymous]

For the record, I haven't called anyone here a bad parent and I can't recall anyone else doing so either, maybe I missed it. Perharps the reason that the PP hasn't seen any of the behaviors at her provider's home is because her provider, like myself and countless other providers I know, don't discuss financial or any other type of gripes with other families. I simply don't discuss other familie's business with the other daycare families. And also "you people"? What are you trying to say?

Janet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have to say the difference here is that I said, "MOST of you wouldn't last week" as opposed to "ALL in-home providers..."

See, most versus all...

Although I do think it is interesting that you included yourself in the "most" category since you said that you don't do anything that I listed. If you dn't do those things, then you wouldn't have been included in that category, now would you?

Duh...I was not lumping myself in the "most". I was saying that they way you and others have written your posts suggests that anyone who disagrees with you must be one of the horrible parents, one of the "most". And since I have not done the things you describe, but I still disagree with you, then your logic is flawed. Following me now? Do ya get it?

It does not matter that you said "most' and not "all". The tone of that remark was snarky and rude, clearly meant to be insulting, and it was a stupid remark that made no sense in the same way my "all" example makes no sense. Do you understand now?

[Anonymous]

For the record, I haven't called anyone here a bad parent and I can't recall anyone else doing so either, maybe I missed it. Perharps the reason that the PP hasn't seen any of the behaviors at her provider's home is because her provider, like myself and countless other providers I know, don't discuss financial or any other type of gripes with other families. I simply don't discuss other familie's business with the other daycare families. And also "you people"? What are you trying to say?

Janet

Seriously? You haven't been reading very closely, or you have no reading comprehension? Why do you think so many parents are outraged on this post? Did you see the blog post that Miss Judy has out there that someone copied and pasted??? That isn't insulting? And I don't understand the "you people" reference....are you super paranoid about something? I don't get why you take issue with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

.

Excuse me? If you are getting paid for 50 hours what the hell do you care how many hours I am at work? Maybe I am trying to do other things, like clean my house, do wash, go grocery shopping or one of the other million things I have to do. You don't have the right to dictate how I use my time while I am paying you to watch my child. Oh, and you are right, I can honestly say I have NEVER done any of the things you outlined. You really need to get a better screening process, or learn to speak up. If it sucks so much to be you, then go out and get a job that you don't have to deal with anyone. Because trust me, in the working world you are ALWAYS going to encounter and asshole or two (or five). But do I start a blog so all the working moms of the world can share in my bitterness? Nope. I simply do my job and collect my paycheck and chalk it up to the fact that there are all different kinds of people out there - some are nice, some are not, such is life!

Hmmm, perhaps you didn't read my entire very lenghtly post. I have only long term families, I learned to sort out the bad apples years ago. As for leaving your child in daycare for an additional 30 hours a week in order to run errands...well, you are right, it is certainly your right. It is simply my opinion that children need their parents and leaving them in daycare so as to make your grocery shopping less of a hassle is selfish.

I do want to clarify that I don't think and extra day, 8 - 10 hours of care, is a bad thing, it is only when we start taking about 20 to 30 hours per week that I have an issue with...