How much do you pay for in-home care for an infant?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you got me, I'm "shirking" my parental responsibilities by putting food on the table, providing health insurance, a roof over my kids' heads...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me let all of you parents who think that we are bitter in on a few things. We all have days where we are bitter and that is just part of the human condition. Nobody is all sunshine and lollipops all of the time. But more to the point, we all have reasons to feel bitter. I want to share something with all of you. My sister gave birth on September 10th to a little boy named Anthony and he passed away on Sept. 11th. We live about 500 miles apart so I had to close daycare. In my contract, I require that the parents have a back up provider but I have 2 families that don't have a back up, even though they know that they need one. They signed the contract. I went out of my way to help them because they were bitching about not being able to miss work and how this was an inconvenience. My nephew had just died! Then they had the nerve to bitch aboiut who I had to watch their kids. They didn't like her, but had no reason why. They just said that she was "rude". The day that I got back, their first comments to me were complaints. That's not the first time that I have been treated like a servant by selfish parents so am I bitter, you bet!

I am so sorry they were so awful to you. And so sorry about your nephew. But sadly this is commonplace. When my FIL died a year ago I too had to take some time off. Not only did the parents bitch about it NOT ONE of them sent a condolence card, offered their sympathies. NOTHING! Or when I ended up in the hospital with appendicitis and had to take three days off after surgery. NO card, no phone call. Not even a "hey, how are you feeling" when they returned. So, yeah, I get it. How is one NOT supposed to be bitter about stuff like that. It's not about business or daycare it's called BASIC HUMAN DECENCY. Meanwhile I have cared for children of dying brain tumour parents for FREE, gone to funerals of dcparents relatives and cared for children on many occassions far too sick to be at daycare while THEIR PARENTS TOOK THE DAY OFF WORK TO SHOP. But yeah, I'M the bad guy.

Judy

[Anonymous]

You're right. We are doing open heart surgery - we are doing something FAR more important - helping to raise children! And if you think you can do it so much better (you and every parent who places their child in daycare and shares your sentiment) then why not stay home with them yourself? Why shirk your parental responsibilities off to someone like me who is (your words) angry and bitter and resentful??? Hmm....I'm thinking that as a parent THAT is far more cruel than anything you can accuse me of.

I never said I was doing a better job - those were your words. You said that you were doing it better, that the kids had more fun with you, behaved better with you, etc., etc. I use an in-home daycare provider, and I tell her all the time that I don't know how she does it. And yes, she gets paid 52 weeks a year - regardless if she is sick, on vacation, or if my child is sick or we are on vacation. We have a wonderful relationship - on several occassions she has asked me if I could use my lunch hour to help her out by taking her child to school, an appointment, etc. There goes my break! But I happily do it - I don't get on my bitter horse and bitch about her behind her back - I am happy to help her whenever I can! So when you complain about not getting breaks, keep that in mind. I really don't appreciate being accused of "shirking my parental responsibilities". There is a tremendous amount of guilt that goes with working full time and leaving your child in the care of someone else. The nice part is that I know my child is being loved and well cared for. And that I have respect for my provider and she HAS RESPECT FOR ME. Which is a hell of a lot more than you have for your parents. I agree with PP's - you really seem to be bitter about your job. The way you describe it sounds like you work in the ghetto - I know all of the parents that my provider has, and I can honestly say, none of them are anywhere close to the parents you apparently have. I guess they are all no-good, late paying, selfish SOBs. How sad for you - maybe you should screen your clients better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Let me let all of you parents who think that we are bitter in on a few things. We all have days where we are bitter and that is just part of the human condition. Nobody is all sunshine and lollipops all of the time. But more to the point, we all have reasons to feel bitter. I want to share something with all of you. My sister gave birth on September 10th to a little boy named Anthony and he passed away on Sept. 11th. We live about 500 miles apart so I had to close daycare. In my contract, I require that the parents have a back up provider but I have 2 families that don't have a back up, even though they know that they need one. They signed the contract. I went out of my way to help them because they were bitching about not being able to miss work and how this was an inconvenience. My nephew had just died! Then they had the nerve to bitch aboiut who I had to watch their kids. They didn't like her, but had no reason why. They just said that she was "rude". The day that I got back, their first comments to me were complaints. That's not the first time that I have been treated like a servant by selfish parents so am I bitter, you bet!


I am so sorry they were so awful to you. And so sorry about your nephew. But sadly this is commonplace. When my FIL died a year ago I too had to take some time off. Not only did the parents bitch about it NOT ONE of them sent a condolence card, offered their sympathies. NOTHING! Or when I ended up in the hospital with appendicitis and had to take three days off after surgery. NO card, no phone call. Not even a "hey, how are you feeling" when they returned. So, yeah, I get it. How is one NOT supposed to be bitter about stuff like that. It's not about business or daycare it's called BASIC HUMAN DECENCY. Meanwhile I have cared for children of dying brain tumour parents for FREE, gone to funerals of dcparents relatives and cared for children on many occassions far too sick to be at daycare while THEIR PARENTS TOOK THE DAY OFF WORK TO SHOP. But yeah, I'M the bad guy.

Judy

My FIL died 2 years ago and my employer didn't send me a condolence card, so I'm not sure why this is a bone of contention. In fact, they don't even offer berevement leave, so I used my vacation days to go to Florida to attend the funeral. What exactly do you feel entitled to that none of us get from our employers? Just because you provide daycare services doesn't mean we should be all falling at your feet. My boss certainly doesn't do that for me. I am expected to show up and do my job. He isn't kissing my ass and thanking me every day. What is so wrong for expecting you to do the same thing?

[Anonymous]

Which is a hell of a lot more than you have for your parents. I agree with PP's - you really seem to be bitter about your job. The way you describe it sounds like you work in the ghetto - I know all of the parents that my provider has, and I can honestly say, none of them are anywhere close to the parents you apparently have. I guess they are all no-good, late paying, selfish SOBs. How sad for you - maybe you should screen your clients better.

I think it interesting how someone takes ONE statement and generalizes on it.

One must remember that this whole arguement started with this post:

Ignore this rant. I suspect it is the same person who ranted on this same subject in the daycare forum, who does not understand that most service providers do not receive pay when they are not actually providing a service and so it is perfectly normal to question this practice. Nobody is questioning the right of a care provider to take a vacation. Given her attitude, I would be very concerned if she cared for my child.

And it was THIS poster whom everything was spun from. And it is attitudes like THAT poster that we, as daycare providers were speaking of. Not ONCE did anyone say that ALL daycare parents were like this. In fact I will cite myself:

Now YOU are a dream come true for any daycare provider. Your provider is lucky to have you as a partner in rearing wonderful, beautiful children!

Judy Trickett

And then Mr/Mrs anonymus started up with comments like this one:

"Is paying the weekly charge all it takes to be a great partner for an in-home provider? "

It is parents like the one above who we are speaking about. But somehow you have this assumption that it is YOU we speak of. Well, are you one of THEM? If not then why the defensiveness? I think it a little egocentrie to assume this is about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


My FIL died 2 years ago and my employer didn't send me a condolence card, so I'm not sure why this is a bone of contention. In fact, they don't even offer berevement leave, so I used my vacation days to go to Florida to attend the funeral. What exactly do you feel entitled to that none of us get from our employers? Just because you provide daycare services doesn't mean we should be all falling at your feet. My boss certainly doesn't do that for me. I am expected to show up and do my job. He isn't kissing my ass and thanking me every day. What is so wrong for expecting you to do the same thing?

BINGO! Thanks for making my point for me. Parents here go on and on about how we are supposed to be held to some higher standard of not being JUST about business. Well, you can't have it both ways. We are either business or we aren't. You tell us we don't deserve to make the rules or charge for vacation (the original arguement here) so by that example we are NOT business women. So then we are deserving of the condolence as friends or babysitters I guess. But when you compare me to YOU and the fact that your employer gave you nothing then you are making a statement that as business women we deserve nothing more or less than you. Great point! So as a BUSINESS WOMAN pay me ON TIME. Follow the CONTRACT. If you don't like the BUSINESS I provide then find another service provider.

Touchee!

I'm done now! Off to my bitter blog. I'll leave you all in the sugary sweet candy cane land you all live in. I pray for your daycare providers. In fact a little secret.....how do you think I found this site? I sure as hell don't live in DC. Yep, YOUR providers let me know about it. Yes, gasp...they are among you. But oh no, they couldn't possibly be those rosey-cheeked cheery people who smile at you every day. Nope, that only exists in a land to which you have not travelled. It's called REALITY!

Peace out and all that other fluffy stuff.

Judy

[Anonymous]

Just in case OP is still reading this thread...I pay $1026/month for in home care in Fairfax, 41-50 hours per week. There's a 10% surcharge for babies under 16 mo.

The provider gets Federal holidays off, 2 days off at Thanksgiving, and the week between Christmas and New Year's. Also, sometimes stuff happens -- e.g. she has a doctor's appointment -- so she tells me in advance, my husband or I take off work, and the provider offers me free babysitting on the weekends to make it up. It is not a big deal when this happens. I find the benefits of in home care to outweigh the stability of a day care center.

[Anonymous]

My name is Janet and I posted about my little nephew. I also want to add that I have a child of my own and when she was in daycare when she was littler, I always showed respect and compassion for her providers. I was in awe of the way that they cared for her and loved her. I always thanked them for taking care of her and loving her. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you ladies don't appreciate your provider. What I'm saying is that we work much harder than you know and when we get bitter about things, it's almost always with for a damn good reason. Another example, back in September, my daughter got seriously sick (H1N1, plus she has asthma) and I closed for 3 days to take care of her. What mother wouldn't. Those same 2 families gave me so much grief and just said "Can't you just make her stay in the basement?". This is my daughter;s home, and I will not banish her too the basement! Also, I had to disinfect all toys and surfaces and everything else and more importantly, my girl needed her mom. I have bent over backwards to care for my day care kids and I love being with them. I have an amazing child retention rate. They don't leave my care until kindergarten and even then, I get them back on school vacations and over the summer. I don't charge for vacations, holidays or sick days. I wish I would have from the beginning, but I haven't yet. I have had parents decide to not go into work for the day and since I don't charge for day that I don't provide care, I take the loss. I have stayed open through my own illnesses unless I was totally contagious. I went back to work the Monday after I buried my mother, becuase of my responsibility to my day care families. I always remember birthdays and I always celebrate the holidays with the kids. I give my all to my chosen career and I love what I do. It hurts to have parents think of me as just a babysitter when I dedicate myself the way that I do. By the way, when I post, it's either naptime or iy's when I don't have any kidsw. For the most part, my families are awesome and I let them know it, Even the ones that tend to treat me as though I should just care for their children because I know how it feels to have to put trust in someone else to care for your child. Please don't make the assumption that we don't provide good care because we get angry sometimes. I have never taken it out on my day care kids or their families and up until recently, I just internalized all of the frustration and sucked it up because I felt like no one else could understand what I was feeling. And then I found Judy and I didn't feel alne anymore. Also, when I have an issue with a parent, I respectfully address it becaus that's how I expect to be treated. I really don't have issues with any families save the 2 that I have written about and even though we have had our issues, they know that their kids are loved, and the kids love me too. They tell me that they love me everyday. The children in my care learn, have fun and thrive. If I am in a bad mood, I make it a point to not make them responsible for it. If I am in a foul mood, that is my problem and I own those feelings. I am just glad that I have good friends like Judy that I can vent to when I need to. This can be a very lonely job sometimes and we all need people that we can relate to. I'm not trying tp piss anyone off, I'm just asking for a bit of understanding.

Janet

[Anonymous]

It mystifies that this "Judy" thinks anyone who's not bitter and speaking cruelly of others lives in "la la land." The truth is, most of are nowhere near "Pollyannas" OR as hateful as you.

[Anonymous]

I totally fail to see how complaining makes you automatically angry and bitter?
I gripe. Yep. I do. I get frustrated with the kids in my care on occasion. Does that make me unfit? no does it mean I don't care about them? nope.
i get frustrated with my own kids, who I love more than life itself. my 21 year old is home from college and has a constant nagging cough. when he wakes me at 2 am coughing, Im annoyed, but that doesn't mean I don't love him and doesn't mean I'm not glad to have him home!
Some people need to vent .Yes, sometimes it's about little Johnny who just wiped his runny nose in my face, or Sally who just pulled her poopy diaper off and smeared it on my wall to wall carpet. But more often it's been about a total lack of respect or consideration shown by a parent whose child I adore.
Honestly the families whose children I am caring for NOW are by and large wonderful. I'm licensed for 10 kids, though most days I don't have that many (and I have an assistant). I have 9 families total, and the only complaint I can think of about any of them is that 2 of them have brought me kids on Monday who had fevers all day Sunday, and passed it on to everyone else. They all pay on time. They all pick up on time unless it's something beyond their control (like a car accident closing my exit off the highway) They all respect me. They all encourage their children to be polite little people. And they honor the contracts they've signed.
That hasn't always been the case- I've had some doozies enrolled in my childcare. Children who are allowed to swear like a sailor. parents who pay late, or who think the rules are for everyone but them. Who ignore my sick policy and give my entire family and every other daycare child rotavirus. parents who think nothing of being 45-50 minutes late at pick up EVERY DAY. Those are the ones who I've terminated in the past couple years.
I'm not ignorant. I know that if push came to shove, each and every wonderful family currently in my childcare would look out for themselves first, and do what's best for their family. as I have to do for mine.
As I type this the 4 kids I have in care today are all asleep, and will be for at least another hour. I sit here and read blogs and boards after eating my lunch after they fall asleep. Yes, i could eat while the kids are up, but I give them my attention while they're up. It gets hectic with up to 10 kids, and some days lunch doesnt happen until 2 pm.
but I love doing daycare
Susan J

[Anonymous]

I totally fail to see how complaining makes you automatically angry and bitter?
I gripe. Yep. I do. I get frustrated with the kids in my care on occasion. Does that make me unfit? no does it mean I don't care about them? nope.
i get frustrated with my own kids, who I love more than life itself. my 21 year old is home from college and has a constant nagging cough. when he wakes me at 2 am coughing, Im annoyed, but that doesn't mean I don't love him and doesn't mean I'm not glad to have him home!
Some people need to vent .Yes, sometimes it's about little Johnny who just wiped his runny nose in my face, or Sally who just pulled her poopy diaper off and smeared it on my wall to wall carpet. But more often it's been about a total lack of respect or consideration shown by a parent whose child I adore.
Honestly the families whose children I am caring for NOW are by and large wonderful. I'm licensed for 10 kids, though most days I don't have that many (and I have an assistant). I have 9 families total, and the only complaint I can think of about any of them is that 2 of them have brought me kids on Monday who had fevers all day Sunday, and passed it on to everyone else. They all pay on time. They all pick up on time unless it's something beyond their control (like a car accident closing my exit off the highway) They all respect me. They all encourage their children to be polite little people. And they honor the contracts they've signed.
That hasn't always been the case- I've had some doozies enrolled in my childcare. Children who are allowed to swear like a sailor. parents who pay late, or who think the rules are for everyone but them. Who ignore my sick policy and give my entire family and every other daycare child rotavirus. parents who think nothing of being 45-50 minutes late at pick up EVERY DAY. Those are the ones who I've terminated in the past couple years.
I'm not ignorant. I know that if push came to shove, each and every wonderful family currently in my childcare would look out for themselves first, and do what's best for their family. as I have to do for mine.
As I type this the 4 kids I have in care today are all asleep, and will be for at least another hour. I sit here and read blogs and boards after eating my lunch after they fall asleep. Yes, i could eat while the kids are up, but I give them my attention while they're up. It gets hectic with up to 10 kids, and some days lunch doesnt happen until 2 pm.
but I love doing daycare
Susan J"

No one faulted Judy for complaining - we all get that. If you read her posts and the posts of other providers, they were attacking people - parents were "shirking their parental responsibilities" and that she cared for them better, loved them more, and the kids behaved better for her. I don't think that's necessary - complain all you want - attack and attack and attack the parents of the children you "love"? Crosses the line and enters the bitter arena.

[Anonymous]

As I read all of these posts I just think about what a close-minded group of parents appear to be on this board (with the exception of a few). Yes home daycare is a business, but it cannot really be compared to other service based businesses. It is quite an intimate relationship that is formed between caregivers and families. I know that with my families we joke and chat, and that my families do respect what I do - they often say that they could never do what I do. Yes, there are some perks to working from home - sure I can go on the computer from time to time throughout my day, I don't have to go outside when it's minus gazillion - but believe me these perks don't make my job any easier - I still have an extremely long work day, along with being a mom and wife. Honestly during the week I do spend more time with the daycare children than their parents do.
What I find from the majority of these posts is that most of the parents on this board seem to think that home daycare providers are just doing this for some easy money, and should bend over backwards for their families.
Believe me, yes I do this for money - but it ain't easy money........and for god's sake I"VE NEVER EVER SAT ON A BABY! so don't refer to me as a babysitter.
There are alot of you that need to sit down and take a hard look at yourselves, and really think about how YOU would expect to be treated if you were in our line of business.
Everybody needs places to vent - just because we are home daycare providers doesn't mean we're angels - even angels need to vent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the 12:50 and 13:06 pp

Everyone has some dissatisfaction with their jobs. Its completely normal and can be healthy for people to express this dissatisfaction but you really take it too far. Perhaps bc there is no blanace and you have yet to really say anything nice. In fact, M2b, in 13:07 says "Of course this doesn't apply to all parents, we do have some who at least on the outside appear to have a lot of respect for us and what we do, and freely admit they couldn't do it themselves." and even that statement contains contempt for parents to 1) doubt their sincerity and 2) imply that the parents are only being respectful when they admit they cant care for their own children.

Oh for God's sake! Are you serious?? Parents aren't admitting they can't care for their kids.. they are saying they couldn't or wouldn't want to care for OTHER people's kids all day. Stop adding things that aren't there.

There is no contempt. Do I doubt the sincerity sometimes? Damn straight. Read some of the posts here again and you will know why. We deal with people like THAT after giving their kids the best care we possibly can.

[Anonymous]

Just for the record.. the above post is M2B being pissed at someone adding things that ARE NOT THERE.

[Anonymous]

I think it is the in-home daycare providers on this thread who want to have it both ways. We are supposed to treat you as business people when you want us to, but treat you as *more* than business people when you want us to, because, hell....you are the most important people in the damn world! More important than parents! Better than any parent you have ever met!

Delusional much? How do you get through the door of your house with a head that enormous??

Parents are just people. People sometimes suck. There are lots of people who are selfish (hey, Judy, go look in the mirror), BUT there are many people (Parents!) who are not. I don't know any parents like the ones you describe. I know lots and lots of parents who love their children more than anything and who do the best they can for them. And like their daycare providers and respect them. I'm sorry that you live in a strange land where everybody but you sucks. Or could it be that you are not as representative of *all* daycare providers as you think you are (again with those raving egos) and that you would be miserable bitches who moaned about how awful everyone was to you no matter what you did for a living?

Besides, if you think you are the only ones who deal with unfairness at your jobs, WAKE UP! GROW UP! ALL working people have things we don't like, sometimes worse than any of you have talked about. We all deal with jerky people and unfairness. Welcome to adulthood, ladies.

You say, if you don't like the contract, don't sign it. Of course! And to you I would say, if you hate parents so much, don't be a daycare provider!