S/O: What do DW’s fantasize about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fantasize about various forms of exhibitionism (breasts against the glass; public places) but generally not willing to act on it. Have been been quasi public before (our backyard for instance) but I fantasize about more.

I can help you with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A full night of sleep, a fully stocked refrigerator, a sparkling clean house.

That is so boring. You ain’t dead yet you know...

[Anonymous]

So many things that would absolutely shock people who know me and will never happen in real life, along the lines of what some posters have already mentioned. I’m your basic petite blonde suburban minivan driving mom, and you would never guess that I am a very sexual person and crave more and varied experiences in that area. I’m actually relieved to read that some women have similar fantasies because I honestly feared something was wrong with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it about the rough sex fantasy? Being overcome physically? Uncontrollable desire for you?
Do you envision a larger, more muscular man?
It’s a hot fantasy and it’s been mentioned a few times. Confess your secrets, sexy anonymous women.

NP, I didn't post the original. But for me, it is part of the giving up of control. Yes, I want my SO to have an uncontrollable desire for me (who doesn't want that???), having a man TAKE what he WANTS from me (rather than asking and tiptoeing around). It's about passion! I want my man to take control, take me, want me, and demand from me, and leave me at his mercy. It's the exact opposite of driving the kids to swim practice, of making dinner every night, of making sure all the forms for school are signed and bills are paid. It's the ZING that keeps things from being routine. It counteracts the responsiblity you have on the job, as a mother, as a neighbor and member of a community.

I've had the importance of consent drilled into me too much to make that happen for my wife. Consent must be enthusiastic and continuous. Absence of "no" doesn't equal consent, and it can be withdrawn at any time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many things that would absolutely shock people who know me and will never happen in real life, along the lines of what some posters have already mentioned. I’m your basic petite blonde suburban minivan driving mom, and you would never guess that I am a very sexual person and crave more and varied experiences in that area. I’m actually relieved to read that some women have similar fantasies because I honestly feared something was wrong with me.

+1 I’m pretty clueless what goes on behind my friends bedroom doors or what they fantasize about but if they knew what went on behind mine I think they’d be shocked. I’m a typical suburban mom driving an SUV and wearing a pony tail and usually leggings and carrying a baby on my hip. Most of my fantasies can be experienced with my husband which is great for both of us. I don’t have any interest in a threesome as others have mentioned but just about whatever two people can do I’m willing to try.

[Anonymous]

For DW, firefighters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it about the rough sex fantasy? Being overcome physically? Uncontrollable desire for you?
Do you envision a larger, more muscular man?
It’s a hot fantasy and it’s been mentioned a few times. Confess your secrets, sexy anonymous women.

NP, I didn't post the original. But for me, it is part of the giving up of control. Yes, I want my SO to have an uncontrollable desire for me (who doesn't want that???), having a man TAKE what he WANTS from me (rather than asking and tiptoeing around). It's about passion! I want my man to take control, take me, want me, and demand from me, and leave me at his mercy. It's the exact opposite of driving the kids to swim practice, of making dinner every night, of making sure all the forms for school are signed and bills are paid. It's the ZING that keeps things from being routine. It counteracts the responsiblity you have on the job, as a mother, as a neighbor and member of a community.

I've had the importance of consent drilled into me too much to make that happen for my wife. Consent must be enthusiastic and continuous. Absence of "no" doesn't equal consent, and it can be withdrawn at any time.

No one should ever, ever, try to "make that happen" for their wife without A LOT of discussions before hand. With fantasies, a woman can imagine "giving up control" (and with it responsibility) while still actually being 100% in control (because you are 100% in control of the things you imagine happening in your fantasy). Once you involve a partner, you are actually giving up some control, and that can go really poorly. Things that are super hot in fantasy can be not at all pleasant if actually acted out. When I am fantasizing, I can change direction in an instant if it's not working for me, go deeper into something that is, etc. Getting to a place where a partner can accurately read that and respond is a long-term project. Which is to say, don't think that even women who fantasize about such things necessarily want them to actually happen. If you want to try to move in that direction, take baby steps, talk about what you liked and what you didn't, discuss details of what you do and don't want to have happen, and go slowly. And if for any reason you are going into an encounter where "no" might not really mean "stop immediately whatever you are doing" then you need to have a safe word or other safety system in place. No exceptions, no excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it about the rough sex fantasy? Being overcome physically? Uncontrollable desire for you?
Do you envision a larger, more muscular man?
It’s a hot fantasy and it’s been mentioned a few times. Confess your secrets, sexy anonymous women.

NP, I didn't post the original. But for me, it is part of the giving up of control. Yes, I want my SO to have an uncontrollable desire for me (who doesn't want that???), having a man TAKE what he WANTS from me (rather than asking and tiptoeing around). It's about passion! I want my man to take control, take me, want me, and demand from me, and leave me at his mercy. It's the exact opposite of driving the kids to swim practice, of making dinner every night, of making sure all the forms for school are signed and bills are paid. It's the ZING that keeps things from being routine. It counteracts the responsiblity you have on the job, as a mother, as a neighbor and member of a community.

I've had the importance of consent drilled into me too much to make that happen for my wife. Consent must be enthusiastic and continuous. Absence of "no" doesn't equal consent, and it can be withdrawn at any time.

I get that. But you can talk about it ahead of time. And she's your wife. So talk about the fantasy, see if she's game. And if she says no, then stop.

[Anonymous]

This chick I have known for years and have always really admired but also feel a lot of commonality with. And, because I’m moral, an alternative universe where it’s all happening and where the rules are different and where it’s ok. To other suburban moms’ points, I think people who know me would be surprised by this.

For the record, DH is my best friend but he works a lot and I have an active imagination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it about the rough sex fantasy? Being overcome physically? Uncontrollable desire for you?
Do you envision a larger, more muscular man?
It’s a hot fantasy and it’s been mentioned a few times. Confess your secrets, sexy anonymous women.

NP, I didn't post the original. But for me, it is part of the giving up of control. Yes, I want my SO to have an uncontrollable desire for me (who doesn't want that???), having a man TAKE what he WANTS from me (rather than asking and tiptoeing around). It's about passion! I want my man to take control, take me, want me, and demand from me, and leave me at his mercy. It's the exact opposite of driving the kids to swim practice, of making dinner every night, of making sure all the forms for school are signed and bills are paid. It's the ZING that keeps things from being routine. It counteracts the responsiblity you have on the job, as a mother, as a neighbor and member of a community.

I've had the importance of consent drilled into me too much to make that happen for my wife. Consent must be enthusiastic and continuous. Absence of "no" doesn't equal consent, and it can be withdrawn at any time.

I love when my DH pushes me firmly onto the bed, grips my wrists firmly during sex, or nips me a little. But if I said stop he would immediately. And if we explored further (I don’t we’re likely to) I assume we’d have a safe word. You can be animalistic AND have consent.

[Anonymous]

What makes a rough sex fantasy fun is that you are in total control of it even when the fantasy is about someone else controlling you. It’s like watching a horror movie - you’re not at risk of being murdered. That doesn’t mean actually being murdered would be fun. To go from fantasy to a role play situation requires a lot of trust and communication, and even then there are things I find hot to think about/watch, like restrictive bondage, that aren’t fun for me to actually do under any circumstances.

[Anonymous]

life without husband

[Anonymous]

Throwing my husband a nice wake.

Moving to the golf coast with a ocean view condo, early bird specials, getting on the condo board and having all new friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it about the rough sex fantasy? Being overcome physically? Uncontrollable desire for you?
Do you envision a larger, more muscular man?
It’s a hot fantasy and it’s been mentioned a few times. Confess your secrets, sexy anonymous women.

NP, I didn't post the original. But for me, it is part of the giving up of control. Yes, I want my SO to have an uncontrollable desire for me (who doesn't want that???), having a man TAKE what he WANTS from me (rather than asking and tiptoeing around). It's about passion! I want my man to take control, take me, want me, and demand from me, and leave me at his mercy. It's the exact opposite of driving the kids to swim practice, of making dinner every night, of making sure all the forms for school are signed and bills are paid. It's the ZING that keeps things from being routine. It counteracts the responsiblity you have on the job, as a mother, as a neighbor and member of a community.

My wife isn’t always forthcoming with her sexual desires. They have to be drawn out from her... and at the right time for her. When we act out a.fantasy, she’s into it.I wonder if the rough-sex, take-control fantasy is attractive because it absolves her in some way of deciding she has naughty desires. Not to confuse this with consent. We discuss what we’re going to do before we act out our roles. Still, if it was forced on her, she feels less shame about enjoying it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it about the rough sex fantasy? Being overcome physically? Uncontrollable desire for you?
Do you envision a larger, more muscular man?
It’s a hot fantasy and it’s been mentioned a few times. Confess your secrets, sexy anonymous women.

NP, I didn't post the original. But for me, it is part of the giving up of control. Yes, I want my SO to have an uncontrollable desire for me (who doesn't want that???), having a man TAKE what he WANTS from me (rather than asking and tiptoeing around). It's about passion! I want my man to take control, take me, want me, and demand from me, and leave me at his mercy. It's the exact opposite of driving the kids to swim practice, of making dinner every night, of making sure all the forms for school are signed and bills are paid. It's the ZING that keeps things from being routine. It counteracts the responsiblity you have on the job, as a mother, as a neighbor and member of a community.

I've had the importance of consent drilled into me too much to make that happen for my wife. Consent must be enthusiastic and continuous. Absence of "no" doesn't equal consent, and it can be withdrawn at any time.

I love when my DH pushes me firmly onto the bed, grips my wrists firmly during sex, or nips me a little. But if I said stop he would immediately. And if we explored further (I don’t we’re likely to) I assume we’d have a safe word. You can be animalistic AND have consent.

We can get very physical but when one of us says anything about it being too much the other immediately stops. Most of the time there is a more comfortable way of doing the same thing rather than just a cease and desist. A light spanking can be very pleasurable but a real spanking is not allowed.