Reply to S/O: What do DW’s fantasize about?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What is it about the rough sex fantasy?  Being overcome physically? Uncontrollable desire for you? 
Do you envision a larger, more muscular man?
It’s a hot fantasy and it’s been mentioned a few times. Confess your secrets, sexy anonymous women.[/quote]

NP, I didn't post the original. But for me, it is part of the giving up of control. Yes, I want my SO to have an uncontrollable desire for me (who doesn't want that???), having a man TAKE what he WANTS from me (rather than asking and tiptoeing around). It's about passion! I want my man to take control, take me, want me, and demand from me, and leave me at his mercy. It's the exact opposite of driving the kids to swim practice, of making dinner every night, of making sure all the forms for school are signed and bills are paid. It's the ZING that keeps things from being routine. It counteracts the responsiblity you have on the job, as a mother, as a neighbor and member of a community.

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I've had the importance of consent drilled into me too much to make that happen for my wife. Consent must be enthusiastic and continuous. Absence of "no" doesn't equal consent, and it can be withdrawn at any time. [/quote]

No one should ever, ever, try to "make that happen" for their wife without A LOT of discussions before hand.  With fantasies, a woman can imagine "giving up control" (and with it responsibility) while still actually being 100% in control (because you are 100% in control of the things you imagine happening in your fantasy).  Once you involve a partner, you are actually giving up some control, and that can go really poorly.  Things that are super hot in fantasy can be not at all pleasant if actually acted out.  When I am fantasizing, I can change direction in an instant if it's not working for me, go deeper into something that is, etc.  Getting to a place where a partner can accurately read that and respond is a long-term project.  Which is to say, don't think that even women who fantasize about such things necessarily want them to actually happen.  If you want to try to move in that direction, take baby steps, talk about what you liked and what you didn't, discuss details of what you do and don't want to have happen, and go slowly.  And if for any reason you are going into an encounter where "no" might not really mean "stop immediately whatever you are doing" then you need to have a safe word or other safety system in place.  No exceptions, no excuses.[/quote]

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