Not redshirting our May birthday boy?

[Anonymous]

OP here! As I said, we ARE planning to send out May son on time. I was asking for advice in case we were really missing something here, since it is the norm to hold back a spring or summer boy. Parents are not necessarily doing it for any reasons with their particular child. The choice is usually made when they are babies. Reading the responses, I am more confident that we are making the right decision by sending him on time. If he truly has an issue keeping up, he can be held back by his teachers and repeat a grade and still be the same age as many of his peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here! As I said, we ARE planning to send out May son on time. I was asking for advice in case we were really missing something here, since it is the norm to hold back a spring or summer boy. Parents are not necessarily doing it for any reasons with their particular child. The choice is usually made when they are babies. Reading the responses, I am more confident that we are making the right decision by sending him on time. If he truly has an issue keeping up, he can be held back by his teachers and repeat a grade and still be the same age as many of his peers.

Its absolutely not the norm. Its for lazy parents who don't prepare their kids, what them in sports and forcing them to get a scholarship as they are too cheap to pay for college or want the attention from kids playing sports or parents who don't have confidence in their kids or don't want to work with them doing homework and supporting them so its easier to start them a year older when they need less help.

Most kids are fine, including short kids and kids with special needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There should be a rule that you can't turn 7 in kindergarten. That is just crazy old. There are plenty of second graders who are 7!

We held our son back. There should be rule that Kindergarten should be designed to accommodate boy behaviors.

Instead, Kindergarten is designed for kids who will sit still - and my son wasn't ready to do that yet.

Don't blame parents for Red-shirting a boy, blame the school system for not adjusting to young boy behavior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFpYj0E-yb4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There should be a rule that you can't turn 7 in kindergarten. That is just crazy old. There are plenty of second graders who are 7!

We held our son back. There should be rule that Kindergarten should be designed to accommodate boy behaviors.

Instead, Kindergarten is designed for kids who will sit still - and my son wasn't ready to do that yet.

Don't blame parents for Red-shirting a boy, blame the school system for not adjusting to young boy behavior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFpYj0E-yb4

giggles

OK.

I am fine with kids being wiggly in the class room and not being perfectly behaved. There is no reason to change expectations because parents want to try and write off not taking the time to help their kid adjust and call it "boy behavior".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would NOT hold a May birthday child back unless there are significant cognitive issues at play. I have a June child who I did not hold back. She is one of the youngest in her class. She has always been in the top reading/math groups though. Plus, socially, there were plenty of other kids with late spring/summer birthdays. I child with a May birthday will turn 7 in K. There will be an almost 2 year age difference between your child and a child with a late summer birthday who goes on time. That's just to big a spread IMHO.

I’m against redshirting a May birthday kid too but your math is wrong. There will not be an “almost 2 year age difference” between ops potentially redshirted kid and a late summer bday kid who goes on time. In this scenario OP’s kid would turn 6 in May 2020 so born 2014, the youngest kid in the class would turn 5 in August 2020 so would have been born 2015, or at most 15 months younger than OP’s kid.

Anyway, it’s ridiculous to redshirt a May bday. My siblings and I all have late summer and early fall birthdays and all went on time. We grew up in Tennessee too coincidentally.

If we go on time our May 30 son will be younger by 16 months Feb boys who redshirt. It is a significant gap at that age. It's more than 20% his age. For kids in August who go on time, it's a 19 month gap....

No one w a feb bday kid should be redshirting. That’s crazy.

Completely. Where I live, the cutoff is end of the calendar year. Feb kids are among the oldest. My DC has a fall birthday. A February redshirted kid would turn 7 in K. That kid would be in K older than my child was when she started 2ND GRADE.

Seriously. My 7yo will start 3rd grade this fall before turning 8. It's like these people don't believe in their kids and need to engineer everything so that their kid is the best/biggest/smartest/fastest/strongest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would NOT hold a May birthday child back unless there are significant cognitive issues at play. I have a June child who I did not hold back. She is one of the youngest in her class. She has always been in the top reading/math groups though. Plus, socially, there were plenty of other kids with late spring/summer birthdays. I child with a May birthday will turn 7 in K. There will be an almost 2 year age difference between your child and a child with a late summer birthday who goes on time. That's just to big a spread IMHO.

I’m against redshirting a May birthday kid too but your math is wrong. There will not be an “almost 2 year age difference” between ops potentially redshirted kid and a late summer bday kid who goes on time. In this scenario OP’s kid would turn 6 in May 2020 so born 2014, the youngest kid in the class would turn 5 in August 2020 so would have been born 2015, or at most 15 months younger than OP’s kid.

Anyway, it’s ridiculous to redshirt a May bday. My siblings and I all have late summer and early fall birthdays and all went on time. We grew up in Tennessee too coincidentally.

If we go on time our May 30 son will be younger by 16 months Feb boys who redshirt. It is a significant gap at that age. It's more than 20% his age. For kids in August who go on time, it's a 19 month gap....

No one w a feb bday kid should be redshirting. That’s crazy.

Completely. Where I live, the cutoff is end of the calendar year. Feb kids are among the oldest. My DC has a fall birthday. A February redshirted kid would turn 7 in K. That kid would be in K older than my child was when she started 2ND GRADE.

Seriously. My 7yo will start 3rd grade this fall before turning 8. It's like these people don't believe in their kids and need to engineer everything so that their kid is the best/biggest/smartest/fastest/strongest.

Kids can still thrive and be the youngest. They just learn they have to work a bit harder. But, holding you kid back doesn't make them smarter, it makes them older so in the early years it makes it look like they are smarter and things come easier when i may not. If there are other issues, you are failing your kid by holding them back and not getting them in school/help. Mine is the youngest. He's fine. Socially its hard either way.

The calendar year rule makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There should be a rule that you can't turn 7 in kindergarten. That is just crazy old. There are plenty of second graders who are 7!

We held our son back. There should be rule that Kindergarten should be designed to accommodate boy behaviors.

Instead, Kindergarten is designed for kids who will sit still - and my son wasn't ready to do that yet.

Don't blame parents for Red-shirting a boy, blame the school system for not adjusting to young boy behavior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFpYj0E-yb4

giggles

OK.

I am fine with kids being wiggly in the class room and not being perfectly behaved. There is no reason to change expectations because parents want to try and write off not taking the time to help their kid adjust and call it "boy behavior".

At 4-5-6-7-8, they should be wiggly and teachers need to give wiggle breaks and understand how to teach vs. just want older kids who are easier and they don't have to do much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There should be a rule that you can't turn 7 in kindergarten. That is just crazy old. There are plenty of second graders who are 7!

We held our son back. There should be rule that Kindergarten should be designed to accommodate boy behaviors.

Instead, Kindergarten is designed for kids who will sit still - and my son wasn't ready to do that yet.

Don't blame parents for Red-shirting a boy, blame the school system for not adjusting to young boy behavior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFpYj0E-yb4

K. is the first year of school where if they didn't go to preschool or the preschool and parents failed to teach them prior to K, is where they will learn. Holding them back in a play based preschool or no school isn't helping as much as you think. Its sad you didn't have faith that your child could succeed.

[Anonymous]

Ridiculous. We are in a "wealthy public school district" and my kid's class is all October/November and then May/June with some February.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There should be a rule that you can't turn 7 in kindergarten. That is just crazy old. There are plenty of second graders who are 7!

We held our son back. There should be rule that Kindergarten should be designed to accommodate boy behaviors.

Instead, Kindergarten is designed for kids who will sit still - and my son wasn't ready to do that yet.

Don't blame parents for Red-shirting a boy, blame the school system for not adjusting to young boy behavior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFpYj0E-yb4

Please don’t be so sexist. Neither I nor my boys appreciate it. I am sure some “wiggly” girls and their parents equally don’t appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There should be a rule that you can't turn 7 in kindergarten. That is just crazy old. There are plenty of second graders who are 7!

We held our son back. There should be rule that Kindergarten should be designed to accommodate boy behaviors.

Instead, Kindergarten is designed for kids who will sit still - and my son wasn't ready to do that yet.

Don't blame parents for Red-shirting a boy, blame the school system for not adjusting to young boy behavior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFpYj0E-yb4

giggles

OK.

I am fine with kids being wiggly in the class room and not being perfectly behaved. There is no reason to change expectations because parents want to try and write off not taking the time to help their kid adjust and call it "boy behavior".

At 4-5-6-7-8, they should be wiggly and teachers need to give wiggle breaks and understand how to teach vs. just want older kids who are easier and they don't have to do much.

DS was a wiggle worm when he was younger. Butt never made contact with the chair. I asked the teacher about it, and she said it was normal. DS is a June bday, went on time, and now is in a magnet program in HS. It's normal, and I think most teachers realize this. Sure, DS got a few pink slips for talking too much, but that was mostly because DS was bored.

I asked DS if in hindsight we should've held him back because he is short and hasn't even hit puberty yet, to which he responded, "No way.. I would've been even more bored than I was!".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ridiculous. We are in a "wealthy public school district" and my kid's class is all October/November and then May/June with some February.

What does this mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There should be a rule that you can't turn 7 in kindergarten. That is just crazy old. There are plenty of second graders who are 7!

We held our son back. There should be rule that Kindergarten should be designed to accommodate boy behaviors.

Instead, Kindergarten is designed for kids who will sit still - and my son wasn't ready to do that yet.

Don't blame parents for Red-shirting a boy, blame the school system for not adjusting to young boy behavior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFpYj0E-yb4

This. And also, if you are hoping for accommodation in the K then you certainly are not alone that hope but when you realize the titanic job a K teacher has with almost 30 kids, each with different developmental issues to level through the year, anything from helping them to use bathroom in the classroom booth.. washing hands.. helping the ones that pee their pants in the classroom.. yes happens.. mothering those who break in tears for reason no other then being tired and needing calming and reassurance, and of course. getting them in line for recess.. etc... teacher has that little thing too.. teaching, and filling tons of paperwork and file everything, and sort art supplies, and organize all the mess, and give instruction and all that..

so yes, you are hoping that your teacher who is spread so thinly that you can see her exhaustion clearly on her face after the day when you pick up your little one, you hope that this teacher can provide equal help and assistance and focused and individualized attention to your child because this is her job to make sure your child will be able to manage the insanely long day at his desk sitting still AND learn along with everybody else.. yes, absolutely, no problem.

You should post another post though titled somewhat.. "Parents of kids who were held back by the system in K, how this affected your child" I am sure this would complete the decision making puzzle you are working on. Just as redshirting does not help every kid and is not necessary for each kid who is subjected to it, just so not every kid who is held back end up being damaged emotionally but many do and so you might want to ask to have bigger picture.

Each kid is different and I am sure you are making the right decision for yours. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

This is getting out of hand. My daughter started K having just turned 5. A boy in her Kindergarten class turned 7 before Christmas. My daughter won't be 7 until 2nd grade!! He'll be 9 - have you ever heard of a 9 year old second grader?? He'll have his learner's permit to drive in middle school!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There should be a rule that you can't turn 7 in kindergarten. That is just crazy old. There are plenty of second graders who are 7!

We held our son back. There should be rule that Kindergarten should be designed to accommodate boy behaviors.

Instead, Kindergarten is designed for kids who will sit still - and my son wasn't ready to do that yet.

Don't blame parents for Red-shirting a boy, blame the school system for not adjusting to young boy behavior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFpYj0E-yb4

Yes, let's adjust everything for your little special snowflake.