Not redshirting our May birthday boy?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have a November kid who missed the cutoff last year and did a year of private K. I am still sending her to public K this fall and not 1st specifically because of people who hold back May birthdays, meaning my kid would be in classes with kids 18 months older than her.

August/September birthdays: consider it. Any other month and your kid is neurotypical: get your sh*t together and go to school.


Where do you live that a November kid would ever even have the option to go to k at age 4? Most places have a sept cut off so your November birthday kid would always be one of the oldest in their class but wouldn’t have the option to start k til age 5/turning 6 in November. November birthday (and October, December, January through May kids) shouldn’t even have to think about redshirting at all. It should only come up if a kid has a June-sept birthday.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are these crazy 7 month redshirting parents only redshirting boys? Are all the girls in the grade then younger than the boys? That seems messed up.


I’m in Texas and yes this is absolutely the case.

It is so so weird, I agree.


It's big in the South because of football/other sports. People want their boys to be as big as possible.


Aren’t youth sports based on DOB though? You can’t play U11 if you turn 11 before 9/1 (or 1/1 depending on if your league uses school year or calendar year). So you can send your 6.5 year old to K, but you’d have to put him on a 1st grade soccer team. At least here in DC area.


Not in high school. High school sports, especially basketball and football, are partially determined by size and weight. A kid a year older who is bigger and stronger is going to have an advantage at the high school level. Travel team and AAU and the like are based on birth year.

Most of the kids I know who are held back a year have been done so for legit reasons, one had asthma and was missing a good amount of preschool because of health issues. One had a speech issue and was receiving services. One was just not ready and was on the cusp (born a day or so before the cut off). I have not known anyone who actually held a kid back because of sports. It does seem to be more regional, my friends in the Mid West are more likely to hold a kid out of kindergarten until they are 6. My Friends who are teachers actually think that it is not a bad idea because Kindergarten has become more academic then it used to be.

We sent our DS on time, he is a late June birthday, because he was starting to read (Bob books, nothing too exciting) and writing at his preschool. We thought he was ready for school and would have been bored with another year in Preschool. Virginia does allow for kids to start kindergarten at 6 because some kids are not ready at 5. There are some kids in his class who started at 6 but most started at 5.

I fully understand holding your kid back if the vast majority of kids are being held back. I would not want my kid to be the youngest by more then a year. But I think that there are more kids who are ready to go at five then are sent. I think that most parents are trying to do the best by their kids. There are some who want their kids to simply enjoy being able to run around and not have a ton of structure for another year. There are some whose kids are not ready, regular melt downs and not able to sit in in the circle at pre school. There are some who want to try and game the athletic system but I think they really are the minority.

Kids react differently to it. My younger brother started kindergarten at 5 and was removed half way into the year. He restarted at 6 and then was held back a year (serious learning disabilities). He could care less that he was the oldest in his class. He never discussed it that I can remember and has never complained about it. I was the youngest in my class and I could have cared less. My son has a kid who was held back a year for legit reasons and he clearly cares. He actively discusses being on the older sports team then the other kids in his grade and being in the same Den as the kids a grade year up. Without saying it, he makes it clear that he knows that he is older then his classmates.

Overall people should make the decision that is best for their kid. Most kids are not going to care where they end up in the long run. If the trend in your area is to send kids when they are 6, there is nothing wrong with waiting. If you decide to send your kid earlier, then go for it and don't be worried about it. Someone is going to be the youngest. Just make the best decision for your kid.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a November kid who missed the cutoff last year and did a year of private K. I am still sending her to public K this fall and not 1st specifically because of people who hold back May birthdays, meaning my kid would be in classes with kids 18 months older than her.

August/September birthdays: consider it. Any other month and your kid is neurotypical: get your sh*t together and go to school.


Where do you live that a November kid would ever even have the option to go to k at age 4? Most places have a sept cut off so your November birthday kid would always be one of the oldest in their class but wouldn’t have the option to start k til age 5/turning 6 in November. November birthday (and October, December, January through May kids) shouldn’t even have to think about redshirting at all. It should only come up if a kid has a June-sept birthday.



Yes and? I never said she could go to K at 4. But this year, when she could theoretically go to 1st grade because she did a year of private K, there could be kids born in May 2012 in there whose parents didn’t think they were ready for K at 5.5. When kids who miss the cutoff by 1 month and have to go the next year are in classes with kids who made the cutoff by 6 months but whose parents held them back, there’s now an 18 month age span in a class. I’m not sending her to a 1st grade class at 5.5 with 7+ year olds. So I will send her to K entering public, where she will be toward the older end of the class, not the youngest by 18 months because of some May kid whose mom sent him a year late.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a November kid who missed the cutoff last year and did a year of private K. I am still sending her to public K this fall and not 1st specifically because of people who hold back May birthdays, meaning my kid would be in classes with kids 18 months older than her.

August/September birthdays: consider it. Any other month and your kid is neurotypical: get your sh*t together and go to school.


Where do you live that a November kid would ever even have the option to go to k at age 4? Most places have a sept cut off so your November birthday kid would always be one of the oldest in their class but wouldn’t have the option to start k til age 5/turning 6 in November. November birthday (and October, December, January through May kids) shouldn’t even have to think about redshirting at all. It should only come up if a kid has a June-sept birthday.


I had two friends who sent their kid who turned five in October to private kindergarten. They could not have attended public kindergarten because they were past the cut off. They did well in private kindergarten and the schools recommended that they continue on to first grade. One went to public school, which had to take the child as a first grader since they had completed kindergarten even though she was past the normal cut off. The other stayed in private because they liked the school. Both kids did just fine in first grade and are on to second grade.

I have a friend who sent their October birthday to private kindergarten at 5 and decided to send the kid to public kindergarten at 6 because the private kindergarten had not gone all that well. They did not think their kid was ready for first grade.

(shrugs)
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a November kid who missed the cutoff last year and did a year of private K. I am still sending her to public K this fall and not 1st specifically because of people who hold back May birthdays, meaning my kid would be in classes with kids 18 months older than her.

August/September birthdays: consider it. Any other month and your kid is neurotypical: get your sh*t together and go to school.


Where do you live that a November kid would ever even have the option to go to k at age 4? Most places have a sept cut off so your November birthday kid would always be one of the oldest in their class but wouldn’t have the option to start k til age 5/turning 6 in November. November birthday (and October, December, January through May kids) shouldn’t even have to think about redshirting at all. It should only come up if a kid has a June-sept birthday.



Yes and? I never said she could go to K at 4. But this year, when she could theoretically go to 1st grade because she did a year of private K, there could be kids born in May 2012 in there whose parents didn’t think they were ready for K at 5.5. When kids who miss the cutoff by 1 month and have to go the next year are in classes with kids who made the cutoff by 6 months but whose parents held them back, there’s now an 18 month age span in a class. I’m not sending her to a 1st grade class at 5.5 with 7+ year olds. So I will send her to K entering public, where she will be toward the older end of the class, not the youngest by 18 months because of some May kid whose mom sent him a year late.


Oh I see so you just don’t understand basic math. The May redshirted kids would be turning 6 in May before starting k whereas your daughter would be turning 6 in November so they would be 6 months apart in age. No kid is starting k at age 7. Maybe turning 7 during the school year but not starting k after having turned 7 in May.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a November kid who missed the cutoff last year and did a year of private K. I am still sending her to public K this fall and not 1st specifically because of people who hold back May birthdays, meaning my kid would be in classes with kids 18 months older than her.

August/September birthdays: consider it. Any other month and your kid is neurotypical: get your sh*t together and go to school.


Where do you live that a November kid would ever even have the option to go to k at age 4? Most places have a sept cut off so your November birthday kid would always be one of the oldest in their class but wouldn’t have the option to start k til age 5/turning 6 in November. November birthday (and October, December, January through May kids) shouldn’t even have to think about redshirting at all. It should only come up if a kid has a June-sept birthday.


I think NY state still has a Dec 31 cut off. But PP said Nov kid missed the cutoff so I think she’s in a Sept cutoff state. Some states will take a kid into 1st if they’ve done private K even if they’re a little young.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a November kid who missed the cutoff last year and did a year of private K. I am still sending her to public K this fall and not 1st specifically because of people who hold back May birthdays, meaning my kid would be in classes with kids 18 months older than her.

August/September birthdays: consider it. Any other month and your kid is neurotypical: get your sh*t together and go to school.


Where do you live that a November kid would ever even have the option to go to k at age 4? Most places have a sept cut off so your November birthday kid would always be one of the oldest in their class but wouldn’t have the option to start k til age 5/turning 6 in November. November birthday (and October, December, January through May kids) shouldn’t even have to think about redshirting at all. It should only come up if a kid has a June-sept birthday.



Yes and? I never said she could go to K at 4. But this year, when she could theoretically go to 1st grade because she did a year of private K, there could be kids born in May 2012 in there whose parents didn’t think they were ready for K at 5.5. When kids who miss the cutoff by 1 month and have to go the next year are in classes with kids who made the cutoff by 6 months but whose parents held them back, there’s now an 18 month age span in a class. I’m not sending her to a 1st grade class at 5.5 with 7+ year olds. So I will send her to K entering public, where she will be toward the older end of the class, not the youngest by 18 months because of some May kid whose mom sent him a year late.


Oh I see so you just don’t understand basic math. The May redshirted kids would be turning 6 in May before starting k whereas your daughter would be turning 6 in November so they would be 6 months apart in age. No kid is starting k at age 7. Maybe turning 7 during the school year but not starting k after having turned 7 in May.


I’m not TALKING about K, I’m talking about FIRST. She did a year of private K. She COULD go to first. But there will be kids in first grade who, if they’re like OP, were born in May 2012 and whose mom didn’t send them to K on time. They would be in first grade this year at 7.5. My kid, who couldn’t go to public K this year because she didn’t turn 5 until November, would be going into first grade with kids who are up to 7.5 when she herself won’t be 6 until November. As a result, I am having her do PUBLIC K this year instead of PUBLIC FIRST so she’s not 18 months younger than kids whose parents chose not to send them to K on time.

This isn’t hard.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a November kid who missed the cutoff last year and did a year of private K. I am still sending her to public K this fall and not 1st specifically because of people who hold back May birthdays, meaning my kid would be in classes with kids 18 months older than her.

August/September birthdays: consider it. Any other month and your kid is neurotypical: get your sh*t together and go to school.


Where do you live that a November kid would ever even have the option to go to k at age 4? Most places have a sept cut off so your November birthday kid would always be one of the oldest in their class but wouldn’t have the option to start k til age 5/turning 6 in November. November birthday (and October, December, January through May kids) shouldn’t even have to think about redshirting at all. It should only come up if a kid has a June-sept birthday.



Yes and? I never said she could go to K at 4. But this year, when she could theoretically go to 1st grade because she did a year of private K, there could be kids born in May 2012 in there whose parents didn’t think they were ready for K at 5.5. When kids who miss the cutoff by 1 month and have to go the next year are in classes with kids who made the cutoff by 6 months but whose parents held them back, there’s now an 18 month age span in a class. I’m not sending her to a 1st grade class at 5.5 with 7+ year olds. So I will send her to K entering public, where she will be toward the older end of the class, not the youngest by 18 months because of some May kid whose mom sent him a year late.


No. Kids who miss the cut off by a month would be starting k at 5 and turning 6 shortly after starting, whereas a May kid held back would be starting k at age 6 so there would only ever be a 6 month age difference between a November kid who goes on time and a May redshirted kid in the same grade. If kids are honestly starting k after having turned 7 in May then they were held back/redshirted twice not once.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a November kid who missed the cutoff last year and did a year of private K. I am still sending her to public K this fall and not 1st specifically because of people who hold back May birthdays, meaning my kid would be in classes with kids 18 months older than her.

August/September birthdays: consider it. Any other month and your kid is neurotypical: get your sh*t together and go to school.


Where do you live that a November kid would ever even have the option to go to k at age 4? Most places have a sept cut off so your November birthday kid would always be one of the oldest in their class but wouldn’t have the option to start k til age 5/turning 6 in November. November birthday (and October, December, January through May kids) shouldn’t even have to think about redshirting at all. It should only come up if a kid has a June-sept birthday.



Yes and? I never said she could go to K at 4. But this year, when she could theoretically go to 1st grade because she did a year of private K, there could be kids born in May 2012 in there whose parents didn’t think they were ready for K at 5.5. When kids who miss the cutoff by 1 month and have to go the next year are in classes with kids who made the cutoff by 6 months but whose parents held them back, there’s now an 18 month age span in a class. I’m not sending her to a 1st grade class at 5.5 with 7+ year olds. So I will send her to K entering public, where she will be toward the older end of the class, not the youngest by 18 months because of some May kid whose mom sent him a year late.


Oh I see so you just don’t understand basic math. The May redshirted kids would be turning 6 in May before starting k whereas your daughter would be turning 6 in November so they would be 6 months apart in age. No kid is starting k at age 7. Maybe turning 7 during the school year but not starting k after having turned 7 in May.


I’m not TALKING about K, I’m talking about FIRST. She did a year of private K. She COULD go to first. But there will be kids in first grade who, if they’re like OP, were born in May 2012 and whose mom didn’t send them to K on time. They would be in first grade this year at 7.5. My kid, who couldn’t go to public K this year because she didn’t turn 5 until November, would be going into first grade with kids who are up to 7.5 when she herself won’t be 6 until November. As a result, I am having her do PUBLIC K this year instead of PUBLIC FIRST so she’s not 18 months younger than kids whose parents chose not to send them to K on time.

This isn’t hard.
it’s normal for a November kid to be the oldest in their class/your kid turning 6 this November should definitely be in k not first. This shouldn’t even be a discussion. She did a year of private k so could start first but why would she when no other kids who have October-December bdays are?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a November kid who missed the cutoff last year and did a year of private K. I am still sending her to public K this fall and not 1st specifically because of people who hold back May birthdays, meaning my kid would be in classes with kids 18 months older than her.

August/September birthdays: consider it. Any other month and your kid is neurotypical: get your sh*t together and go to school.


Where do you live that a November kid would ever even have the option to go to k at age 4? Most places have a sept cut off so your November birthday kid would always be one of the oldest in their class but wouldn’t have the option to start k til age 5/turning 6 in November. November birthday (and October, December, January through May kids) shouldn’t even have to think about redshirting at all. It should only come up if a kid has a June-sept birthday.



Yes and? I never said she could go to K at 4. But this year, when she could theoretically go to 1st grade because she did a year of private K, there could be kids born in May 2012 in there whose parents didn’t think they were ready for K at 5.5. When kids who miss the cutoff by 1 month and have to go the next year are in classes with kids who made the cutoff by 6 months but whose parents held them back, there’s now an 18 month age span in a class. I’m not sending her to a 1st grade class at 5.5 with 7+ year olds. So I will send her to K entering public, where she will be toward the older end of the class, not the youngest by 18 months because of some May kid whose mom sent him a year late.


Oh I see so you just don’t understand basic math. The May redshirted kids would be turning 6 in May before starting k whereas your daughter would be turning 6 in November so they would be 6 months apart in age. No kid is starting k at age 7. Maybe turning 7 during the school year but not starting k after having turned 7 in May.


I’m not TALKING about K, I’m talking about FIRST. She did a year of private K. She COULD go to first. But there will be kids in first grade who, if they’re like OP, were born in May 2012 and whose mom didn’t send them to K on time. They would be in first grade this year at 7.5. My kid, who couldn’t go to public K this year because she didn’t turn 5 until November, would be going into first grade with kids who are up to 7.5 when she herself won’t be 6 until November. As a result, I am having her do PUBLIC K this year instead of PUBLIC FIRST so she’s not 18 months younger than kids whose parents chose not to send them to K on time.

This isn’t hard.


It is your call, you are the parent. My friends who sent their kids to private K have not regretted sending their kids to first grade right away. Their kids were academically and socially ready for it. If your daughter did well in private K and is ready for first grade, don't worry about the kids who started late. Most of the kids I know who were held back in our FCPS community were kids with August and September birthdays who had a medical/development issue. I don't know of any kids who were held back who had May birthdays. The OP is not in Virginia.

I did have a friend who tried to repeat K in public school and the teachers pulled them aside real fast and said it was a waste of a year for their kid because they were ready for first.
Anonymous
I think a typical kid would be bored out of his mind in kindergarten at 6 years and a few months of age. I'd worry about the child becoming disinterested in school because the materials is so far below where he should be.
Anonymous
Agree that people in the DC area are not doing this. DC area redshirting stretches back to June at the absolute earliest. I have never even heard of Feb-May except for the weird Baltimore private school pre-first thing. So posters in the DC area need not worry about kids being 6.5 when starting K.

Also “be the youngest by x amount” suggests that the NEXT YOUNGEST kid will be x amount older than your kid, not that the absolute oldest kid will be x amount older than your kid. No kid is going to be “the youngest by 18 mos” even if the total spread is 18 mos because the next youngest kid will be nowhere near 18 mos older than your kid.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Agree that people in the DC area are not doing this. DC area redshirting stretches back to June at the absolute earliest. I have never even heard of Feb-May except for the weird Baltimore private school pre-first thing. So posters in the DC area need not worry about kids being 6.5 when starting K.

Also “be the youngest by x amount” suggests that the NEXT YOUNGEST kid will be x amount older than your kid, not that the absolute oldest kid will be x amount older than your kid. No kid is going to be “the youngest by 18 mos” even if the total spread is 18 mos because the next youngest kid will be nowhere near 18 mos older than your kid.


IOW, a May boy who goes “on time” will be the youngest by 4-5 mos even if everyone else with a Feb-Aug birthday redshirts because there will be kids with Dec/Jan birthdays who are only 4-5 mos older than the May boy.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here..

If we send him on time as planned, what are some specific skills we can work with him on this year so he can succeed? We are already in a competitive district. He's in a part time play based preschool and has been since age 1.



Know all his numbers, letters, shapes and colors. Start reading (sight or phonics) and hopefully reading before K. Also, start with basic writing skills and basic math. Tons of workbooks and online apps. Endless reader is a fun app for starting to read.


These are all things that kids will learn in kindergarten if they don't know it going in. There's no reason to push all this stuff seriously, but just incorporating it into play will prepare your son enough and he'll be ready to learn it in kindergarten. Reading and writing are developmental skills so just expose your child to lots of books and drawing and go from there. Plenty of kids who aren't reading before kindergarten develop into amazing readers when they're ready.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a November kid who missed the cutoff last year and did a year of private K. I am still sending her to public K this fall and not 1st specifically because of people who hold back May birthdays, meaning my kid would be in classes with kids 18 months older than her.

August/September birthdays: consider it. Any other month and your kid is neurotypical: get your sh*t together and go to school.


Where do you live that a November kid would ever even have the option to go to k at age 4? Most places have a sept cut off so your November birthday kid would always be one of the oldest in their class but wouldn’t have the option to start k til age 5/turning 6 in November. November birthday (and October, December, January through May kids) shouldn’t even have to think about redshirting at all. It should only come up if a kid has a June-sept birthday.



Yes and? I never said she could go to K at 4. But this year, when she could theoretically go to 1st grade because she did a year of private K, there could be kids born in May 2012 in there whose parents didn’t think they were ready for K at 5.5. When kids who miss the cutoff by 1 month and have to go the next year are in classes with kids who made the cutoff by 6 months but whose parents held them back, there’s now an 18 month age span in a class. I’m not sending her to a 1st grade class at 5.5 with 7+ year olds. So I will send her to K entering public, where she will be toward the older end of the class, not the youngest by 18 months because of some May kid whose mom sent him a year late.


Oh I see so you just don’t understand basic math. The May redshirted kids would be turning 6 in May before starting k whereas your daughter would be turning 6 in November so they would be 6 months apart in age. No kid is starting k at age 7. Maybe turning 7 during the school year but not starting k after having turned 7 in May.


I’m not TALKING about K, I’m talking about FIRST. She did a year of private K. She COULD go to first. But there will be kids in first grade who, if they’re like OP, were born in May 2012 and whose mom didn’t send them to K on time. They would be in first grade this year at 7.5. My kid, who couldn’t go to public K this year because she didn’t turn 5 until November, would be going into first grade with kids who are up to 7.5 when she herself won’t be 6 until November. As a result, I am having her do PUBLIC K this year instead of PUBLIC FIRST so she’s not 18 months younger than kids whose parents chose not to send them to K on time.

This isn’t hard.


You seem pretty pissy about the situation. Your turning-5-in-November child should have been in a preschool class for 4 and 5 year olds. Then start K on time in public school, when she is 5 turning-6-in-November. You chose to put her in private K "ahead" of the normal school calendar. That was your choice (not one I would have made but hey, free country). Now you are irritated that other people also chose to ignore the school calendar and redshirt their spring & summer birthday kids? Its the same thing in reverse!
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