How are kids supposed to address professors? Dr., Professor, first name? Daughter got rude reaction

[Anonymous]

I am back in grad school and I am almost 40, older than some of the professors. I have never ever called them by anything than professor or put Dr in the e-mail. Teach your kids manners people.

[Anonymous]

^^50 almost 50

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is now in the world of academia. This is how academia works: You err on the side of respect until you are invited into a more informal relationship.

Don't like it? You don't have to stay in academia.

I have a master's degree and have worked as an administrative staff member at four universities and a law school. This is how academia is. Now you know, too.

Exactly. There are consequences to lazy parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach in academia and the number of unprofessional emails I get is ridiculous.

Usually the first email a student sends should be addressed to Professor Last name. If the professor responds signing off with their first name, then it is fine to respond to that with a first name as well.

I get a lot of:
very casual
Hey,
I missed class yesterday, could you send me the notes and anything I missed?

Hey Larla,
Great class. Loved the pics you showed. I have to head out early next week - just wanted to let you know I won't be in class. Family thing.

or no greeting and just a sentence
When did you say the paper was due?

or text speak
Hi,
Can u tell me who I talk 2 about the marking?

or just poor professionalism
Professor,
I couldn't come to class or office hours but I don't understand the assignment. Can you answer my questions here by email, I can't find the answers in the textbook. Lists questions that were all covered in the lecture
Thanks in advance

We now have an email policy that students are supposed to follow - few do. It tells them how to write a proper email.

Why does a so-called unprofessional email bother you? It sounds like you're conflating unprofessional with direct and brevity. I prefer my emails, both sent and received, get straight to the point. Who the heck has time for greetings and closing every email? Who wants to even read all of it? It's so extra, it's pointless, it actually annoys me and fatigues my eyes to have to scroll. It's very petty if this bothers you. Modern communication is short and to the point and often via iPhone. All of this formalness has gone the way of the dodo bird and execs wearing suits and ties. Everything is casual. We're all equals. Get with the times.

Signed Larlas mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your daughter is very rude and gauche. She needs to understand that she can't treat her college professors the way she treated her high school teachers because 1. her college profs do not care about her helicopter mommy's wrath, 2. your daughter is not, in fact, as special as (you insisted) everyone allowed her to believe in high school, and 3. she is making a fool of herself and will continue to do so into the workplace if she doesn't learn this now.

I was a TA in grad school. I asked students to call me by my first name because I was not a professor. However, professors were addressed as Dr. or Professor. Even as a grad student, the default method of addressing a prof was Dr. or Professor: presuming familiarity by defaulting to first name is breathtakingly rude.

A helicopter parent would make sure their child addressed people properly.

Unfortunately this isn't the case. I teach high school. Most of my students are lovely, but I have a handful who speak (and email) with a kind of condescending familiarity that comes from parents who teach them educators are to be commanded and scorned ("We're paying customers!"). I often wonder about how this works out for them when they go to college. Now, from this thread, I know.

I also get a lot of one sentence emails from high school seniors who really should know better. Advisors and teachers have tried to talk to them about this, but it changes nothing. Will they email their college professors like this?

"Hey I'm going to be skiing with my family next week so can you send me your lesson plans for what I miss?"

"My mom said she emailed u about my grade but u didn't change it and i work relly hard on my writting so i don't know why u gave me a C"

"I think its unfair to make us read a book when theres nothing on spark notes for it. Can I read something else instead?"

Last week a student told one of my colleagues that "My parents pay your salary." This was an 18 year old. I'm sure that attitude will follow him into college.

But I actually think college must have changed a lot in 10 years. I don't think the college experience our children are having is much like our own. I feel sorry for longtime professors; some of my favorites will still be teaching, and it makes me so sad to think of students speaking to them the way they speak to us.

Thank you for the reality check.
Parents should teach their children better.

[Anonymous]

Happy that my daughter was taught this in grade 6. Reinforced at home too of course.

[Anonymous]

Daughter is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach in academia and the number of unprofessional emails I get is ridiculous.

Usually the first email a student sends should be addressed to Professor Last name. If the professor responds signing off with their first name, then it is fine to respond to that with a first name as well.

I get a lot of:
very casual
Hey,
I missed class yesterday, could you send me the notes and anything I missed?

Hey Larla,
Great class. Loved the pics you showed. I have to head out early next week - just wanted to let you know I won't be in class. Family thing.

or no greeting and just a sentence
When did you say the paper was due?

Hi,
Can u tell me who I talk 2 about the marking?

or just poor professionalism
Professor,
I couldn't come to class or office hours but I don't understand the assignment. Can you answer my questions here by email, I can't find the answers in the textbook. Lists questions that were all covered in the lecture
Thanks in advance

We now have an email policy that students are supposed to follow - few do. It tells them how to write a proper email.

Why does a so-called unprofessional email bother you? It sounds like you're conflating unprofessional with direct and brevity. I prefer my emails, both sent and received, get straight to the point. Who the heck has time for greetings and closing every email? Who wants to even read all of it? It's so extra, it's pointless, it actually annoys me and fatigues my eyes to have to scroll. It's very petty if this bothers you. Modern communication is short and to the point and often via iPhone. All of this formalness has gone the way of the dodo bird and execs wearing suits and ties. Everything is casual. We're all equals. Get with the times.

NP. Because the emails are rude and it has nothing to do with directness and brevity. The PP does not ask for long introductions and protocol. It doesn’t take much longer to write “dear Prof. X” than “hey Larla” use “please” and to add “thank you” at the end.

Another professor here. I go over email etiquette the first day of class and it is in the syllabus. An initial email must include a greeting, proper grammar and formatting, and a professional sign-off. If we end up emailing "in real-time," the format can become more casual. If I don't get an initial email in the proper format, I respond back saying please use the proper format. Part of our job is preparing students for the professional world.

I also state that I will not answer any content questions that take more than a one-sentence response over email. Come to class, my office hours, or catch up with a classmate.
You wouldn't email your supervisor at work for a detailed recap of a meeting that you missed. You would find them in person or ask a co-worker.

In the US, the default is Professor. Dr. only if the student is sure the person is a PhD or MD. TAs are generally called by their first name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes they should be addressed as Professor, unless the prof says otherwise. Basic respect.

+1

Basic respect

Basic common sense

Taught from toddlerhood

+1

[Anonymous]

Always “Dr. xxx”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes they should be addressed as Professor, unless the prof says otherwise. Basic respect.

100% this. You always address them as professor or dr unless/until told otherwise. Your daughter was rude.

+1 I think she happened to get two prickly individuals, but that doesn’t change a thing.

Professor so and so, until told otherwise is the way to go.

[Anonymous]

Calling by first name is just so rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach in academia and the number of unprofessional emails I get is ridiculous.

Usually the first email a student sends should be addressed to Professor Last name. If the professor responds signing off with their first name, then it is fine to respond to that with a first name as well.

I get a lot of:
very casual
Hey,
I missed class yesterday, could you send me the notes and anything I missed?

Hey Larla,
Great class. Loved the pics you showed. I have to head out early next week - just wanted to let you know I won't be in class. Family thing.

or no greeting and just a sentence
When did you say the paper was due?

or text speak
Hi,
Can u tell me who I talk 2 about the marking?

or just poor professionalism
Professor,
I couldn't come to class or office hours but I don't understand the assignment. Can you answer my questions here by email, I can't find the answers in the textbook. Lists questions that were all covered in the lecture
Thanks in advance

We now have an email policy that students are supposed to follow - few do. It tells them how to write a proper email.

Why does a so-called unprofessional email bother you? It sounds like you're conflating unprofessional with direct and brevity. I prefer my emails, both sent and received, get straight to the point. Who the heck has time for greetings and closing every email? Who wants to even read all of it? It's so extra, it's pointless, it actually annoys me and fatigues my eyes to have to scroll. It's very petty if this bothers you. Modern communication is short and to the point and often via iPhone. All of this formalness has gone the way of the dodo bird and execs wearing suits and ties. Everything is casual. We're all equals. Get with the times.

Signed Larlas mom

I wa a professor and now am in another position in my field. I suspect this professor cares about formality for two reasons, and not because of his or her own ego. 1. because the relationship he or she has with the students is a formal one. 2. Formal emails written carefully and proofread are clearer to read and follow. They make more sense.

I don’t know what field you are in, but in mine, the first email is always formal and never so brief that it makes no sense a month or two later. Emails are not casual conversation. Formality in emails is very much alive among professionals. You actually sound naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Another professor here. I go over email etiquette the first day of class and it is in the syllabus. An initial email must include a greeting, proper grammar and formatting, and a professional sign-off. If we end up emailing "in real-time," the format can become more casual. If I don't get an initial email in the proper format, I respond back saying please use the proper format. Part of our job is preparing students for the professional world.

I also state that I will not answer any content questions that take more than a one-sentence response over email. Come to class, my office hours, or catch up with a classmate.
You wouldn't email your supervisor at work for a detailed recap of a meeting that you missed. You would find them in person or ask a co-worker.

In the US, the default is Professor. Dr. only if the student is sure the person is a PhD or MD. TAs are generally called by their first name.

Thanks for pissing away families' tuition money getting your email demands out of the way. My Lord, you sound like an egotistical hack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always “Dr. xxx”

+1. Like a good little Ivory Tower bootlicker. Nevermind that OP's daughter's "professors" are likely part-time adjunct, grad students or soft science or liberal arts PhD pissants.