When siblings differ on elderly care

[Anonymous]

Your parent will likely live a much happier life and have a more natural, comfortable death at home. Nursing homes and assisted living will call 911 at every dizzy spell and hospitals will ignore DNRs and living wills, especially if your parent has good health insurance. Hospice is pretty much the only way to get the excess medical treatment to stop, and even that doesn't always work. There's a lot of profit in keeping well heeled elderly alive, even when they wish to be allowed to die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sibling E should forfeit their share of inheritance to pay for 1/3 of cleaning and extra care duties since the other siblings are putting in the actual time and care. Set an hourly rate, multiplied by the time needed to clean windows, prepare meals or whatever. The on-site siblings can do it themselves or hire extra help. Sibling E is off the hook and has contributed his share, (I suspect E is a male and the on site siblings are female).

Op here of this old thread. Funny. E is female and A is male. B and C are male and D is female. The males are actually more hands on. Mom is harder on females.

I don’t think inheritance can even be changed at this point since the mom isn’t of sound mind

[Anonymous]

Is your mom in the area? If she is, please look at Silverado of Alexandria. It is a dedicated memory care facility, and the quality of care is far above anything your mother could receive in home.

[Anonymous]

E should just leave them to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is sibling E in this scenario except we live 500 miles away. Hire cleaning and lawn services. And get a night nurse. Let mom stay at home as long as she can and wants. Visit with your mom instead of dusting and vacuuming. What good is the $5M doing the 90 yr old mom? Make peace with your siblings.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parent will likely live a much happier life and have a more natural, comfortable death at home. Nursing homes and assisted living will call 911 at every dizzy spell and hospitals will ignore DNRs and living wills, especially if your parent has good health insurance. Hospice is pretty much the only way to get the excess medical treatment to stop, and even that doesn't always work. There's a lot of profit in keeping well heeled elderly alive, even when they wish to be allowed to die.

A DNR cannot be ignored.