Wife Is Going Overboard..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It’s hard to reply back to each post individually, so I’m going to do it all here.

We both work and our HHI is low 300’s. We have a good amount of savings.

We definitely aren’t being cheap about big ticket items - Green Guard crib, carseat, stroller, etc. The rocker/glider is also expensive, but I’ve read not to cheap out in that.

I think the basinet is crazy, but If she really wants it, we can try to get it on sale.

We definitely will not be co-sleeping. It’s highly dangerous, and crazy anyone would even attempt to do it.

I never thought I would co-sleep. Our second kid would not sleep unless being held. At some point I had to give in after being up ALL NIGHT for 4 months when she would not sleep like my first. She also did not sleep through the night until 2.5 years old. You just never know what is going to happen. For what it is worth, our first kid slept in a $150 bassinet for 4 months. After that, we spent a lot on nice furniture--crib, dresser, nightstand, Dutalier glider that was $600. Our changing table was cheap from Babies R Us. I did not buy any of this stuff until right after the first kid was born (except bassinet and car seat). We used all of it for the second kid and it was worth the money. Our HHI was the same as yours when the first kid was born. I kept a spreadsheet of everything I spent the first year of life and it totaled $7,000. We used it all for the second kid and barely spent any on that kid (same gender second kid).

OP here. I am sorry about your situation, but we are confident in never co-sleeping. We will sleep train at appropriate age, take shifts, hire a night nurse, etc., but are both adamant co-sleeping will never happen. We will already be taking shifts for feeding, and I plan to be just as apart of the night sleep isssue as she is. She won’t be doing it alone.

Way to go, OP. It’s nice to see a dad that will be involved in night wakeups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are expecting our first child. We are designing the nursery and getting everything needed for the baby. She is going overboard with wanting a huge theme, fancy furniture, and a bunch of stuff. I know she is super excited, but I don’t see the point of spending a ton of money on items are child will grow out of quickly. I understand we will need to spend money on some staple items like a crib, rocking chair, dresser, car seat, stroller, etc., but I don’t think we need a $1200 bassinet, two different swings, a bunch of brand new clothes, etc. I don’t mean to come across as a jerk, because I’m just as excited, but I know there is more important items to put money towards. How can I make her see this?

It is what she can control right now. She can’t do much more than eat and sleep and wait otherwise. She feels lousy and is gaining weight at a rapid pace. She needs a diversion.

OP here. She’s beautiful and pregnant. She is doing plenty - workouts almost everyday, goes to work, goes out with friends, helps clean the house, cooks dinner, etc. She’s also not gaining much weight either.

Aww....you thought the pp meant doing more for YOU. It isn’t about you anymore, man. Her money, her time, her nurturing...it’s all for someone else now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are expecting our first child. We are designing the nursery and getting everything needed for the baby. She is going overboard with wanting a huge theme, fancy furniture, and a bunch of stuff. I know she is super excited, but I don’t see the point of spending a ton of money on items are child will grow out of quickly. I understand we will need to spend money on some staple items like a crib, rocking chair, dresser, car seat, stroller, etc., but I don’t think we need a $1200 bassinet, two different swings, a bunch of brand new clothes, etc. I don’t mean to come across as a jerk, because I’m just as excited, but I know there is more important items to put money towards. How can I make her see this?

It is what she can control right now. She can’t do much more than eat and sleep and wait otherwise. She feels lousy and is gaining weight at a rapid pace. She needs a diversion.

OP here. She’s beautiful and pregnant. She is doing plenty - workouts almost everyday, goes to work, goes out with friends, helps clean the house, cooks dinner, etc. She’s also not gaining much weight either.

Aww....you thought the pp meant doing more for YOU. It isn’t about you anymore, man. Her money, her time, her nurturing...it’s all for someone else now.

What? OP didn’t say anything about his wife doing it for him. The pp basically said she is lazy and can’t do anything but gain weight. OP said she is beautiful and dorsxplenty. I thought that was sweet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It’s hard to reply back to each post individually, so I’m going to do it all here.

We both work and our HHI is low 300’s. We have a good amount of savings.

We definitely aren’t being cheap about big ticket items - Green Guard crib, carseat, stroller, etc. The rocker/glider is also expensive, but I’ve read not to cheap out in that.

I think the basinet is crazy, but If she really wants it, we can try to get it on sale.

We definitely will not be co-sleeping. It’s highly dangerous, and crazy anyone would even attempt to do it.

I never thought I would co-sleep. Our second kid would not sleep unless being held. At some point I had to give in after being up ALL NIGHT for 4 months when she would not sleep like my first. She also did not sleep through the night until 2.5 years old. You just never know what is going to happen. For what it is worth, our first kid slept in a $150 bassinet for 4 months. After that, we spent a lot on nice furniture--crib, dresser, nightstand, Dutalier glider that was $600. Our changing table was cheap from Babies R Us. I did not buy any of this stuff until right after the first kid was born (except bassinet and car seat). We used all of it for the second kid and it was worth the money. Our HHI was the same as yours when the first kid was born. I kept a spreadsheet of everything I spent the first year of life and it totaled $7,000. We used it all for the second kid and barely spent any on that kid (same gender second kid).

OP here. I am sorry about your situation, but we are confident in never co-sleeping. We will sleep train at appropriate age, take shifts, hire a night nurse, etc., but are both adamant co-sleeping will never happen. We will already be taking shifts for feeding, and I plan to be just as apart of the night sleep isssue as she is. She won’t be doing it alone.

+1 good for you OP. Plenty of alternatives to co sleeping, including involvement of dad. Co sleeping is dangerous period.Now watch the breastfeeding purists come out of the woodwork to squawk that only your wife should do the feedings at night and how the mother child bond will be harmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are expecting our first child. We are designing the nursery and getting everything needed for the baby. She is going overboard with wanting a huge theme, fancy furniture, and a bunch of stuff. I know she is super excited, but I don’t see the point of spending a ton of money on items are child will grow out of quickly. I understand we will need to spend money on some staple items like a crib, rocking chair, dresser, car seat, stroller, etc., but I don’t think we need a $1200 bassinet, two different swings, a bunch of brand new clothes, etc. I don’t mean to come across as a jerk, because I’m just as excited, but I know there is more important items to put money towards. How can I make her see this?

It is what she can control right now. She can’t do much more than eat and sleep and wait otherwise. She feels lousy and is gaining weight at a rapid pace. She needs a diversion.

OP here. She’s beautiful and pregnant. She is doing plenty - workouts almost everyday, goes to work, goes out with friends, helps clean the house, cooks dinner, etc. [i]She’s also not gaining much weight either.

[b]

This is not something to brag about. It can be cause for alarm.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else think OP sounds like a bot? Black and white thinking, stilted, mechanical responses. I pity this child for his or her inflexible father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else think OP sounds like a bot? Black and white thinking, stilted, mechanical responses. I pity this child for his or her inflexible father.

Yes. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what I found annoying about him but you did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are expecting our first child. We are designing the nursery and getting everything needed for the baby. She is going overboard with wanting a huge theme, fancy furniture, and a bunch of stuff. I know she is super excited, but I don’t see the point of spending a ton of money on items are child will grow out of quickly. I understand we will need to spend money on some staple items like a crib, rocking chair, dresser, car seat, stroller, etc., but I don’t think we need a $1200 bassinet, two different swings, a bunch of brand new clothes, etc. I don’t mean to come across as a jerk, because I’m just as excited, but I know there is more important items to put money towards. How can I make her see this?

It is what she can control right now. She can’t do much more than eat and sleep and wait otherwise. She feels lousy and is gaining weight at a rapid pace. She needs a diversion.

OP here. She’s beautiful and pregnant. She is doing plenty - workouts almost everyday, goes to work, goes out with friends, helps clean the house, cooks dinner, etc. [i]She’s also not gaining much weight either.

[b]

This is not something to brag about. It can be cause for alarm.

OP here. How is it alarming? I was not bragging - simply putting it that not all pregnant women just sit around and gain weight. My wife and I are both very active. She sought out prenatal workouts when the doctor told her to limit certain activities. I don’t know why people think pregnant women are not capable of doing the things above. Plenty of pregnant women work, care for young children, tend to housework, etc.. She defineijt scaled back on things, and I’ve takwn over a lot more stuff, but she still enjoys being active. Like she says - just because she’s pregnant, doesn’t mean she’s incapable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else think OP sounds like a bot? Black and white thinking, stilted, mechanical responses. I pity this child for his or her inflexible father.

Sounds like you are sore about the co sleeping issue. OP is just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else think OP sounds like a bot? Black and white thinking, stilted, mechanical responses. I pity this child for his or her inflexible father.

Sounds like you are sore about the co sleeping issue. OP is just fine.

+1. All these crunchy moms are getting so mad someone else wouldn’t risk their child’s safety and life by co-sleeping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are expecting our first child. We are designing the nursery and getting everything needed for the baby. She is going overboard with wanting a huge theme, fancy furniture, and a bunch of stuff. I know she is super excited, but I don’t see the point of spending a ton of money on items are child will grow out of quickly. I understand we will need to spend money on some staple items like a crib, rocking chair, dresser, car seat, stroller, etc., but I don’t think we need a $1200 bassinet, two different swings, a bunch of brand new clothes, etc. I don’t mean to come across as a jerk, because I’m just as excited, but I know there is more important items to put money towards. How can I make her see this?

It is what she can control right now. She can’t do much more than eat and sleep and wait otherwise. She feels lousy and is gaining weight at a rapid pace. She needs a diversion.

OP here. She’s beautiful and pregnant. She is doing plenty - workouts almost everyday, goes to work, goes out with friends, helps clean the house, cooks dinner, etc. She’s also not gaining much weight either.

Aww....you thought the pp meant doing more for YOU. It isn’t about you anymore, man. Her money, her time, her nurturing...it’s all for someone else now.

What? OP didn’t say anything about his wife doing it for him. The pp basically said she is lazy and can’t do anything but gain weight. OP said she is beautiful and dorsxplenty. I thought that was sweet.

I read that as she can’t do anything for the baby but sleep and eat right. Of course pregnant women can still go to work and go out with their friends.