Wife Is Going Overboard..

[Anonymous]

I really hope this doesn't happen to me when I get pregnant. I like a beautiful, decorated house but I currently feel no urge to go crazy on a nursery - something guests will not see and that will be repurposed into a child's bedroom in a very short amount of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really hope this doesn't happen to me when I get pregnant. I like a beautiful, decorated house but I currently feel no urge to go crazy on a nursery - something guests will not see and that will be repurposed into a child's bedroom in a very short amount of time.

It’s not that short of a period of time. I mean, the bassinet, sleeping in parents room is only a few months, but most kids don’t grow out of a crib until they are three. And while you will likely get a new bed and bedding, I don’t think many people completely overhaul the room until the child is in first or second grade.
We still have the rocker in my 11 year olds room. He sits on it to read, or I sit in it and read to him while he lays in bed and my nine year old lays on the futon we put in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had some advice for you but now I’m not going to give it because you were so mean to th co-sleepers! Don’t call people idiots—it’s iuncool. (FWIW, I didn’t cosleep, except with one of my many kids where I had a major medical issue during childbirth and couldn’t move for weeks after birth, so coslept so I could nurse. I did cosleep but couldn’t roll over so definitely no smother risk!).

Also, take it from someone with a passel of kids—first rule of parenting is “Never say never.”

No one wants advance from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had some advice for you but now I’m not going to give it because you were so mean to th co-sleepers! Don’t call people idiots—it’s iuncool. (FWIW, I didn’t cosleep, except with one of my many kids where I had a major medical issue during childbirth and couldn’t move for weeks after birth, so coslept so I could nurse. I did cosleep but couldn’t roll over so definitely no smother risk!).

Also, take it from someone with a passel of kids—first rule of parenting is “Never say never.”

No one wants advance from you.

* advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't be cheap with the rocking chair. I've spent hours in ours and it is not the trendiest but it is the most comfortable chair ever (gigantic best chair swivel recliner style).

Agreement that this is the thing to spend money on (or make sure it is comfortable).

OP here. We didn’t cheap out on those areas. We bought a $900 crib ( convertible), $800 glider chair, and out a Halo Basinnet on our registry. I am not saying she can’t have fun, because this might be our only child, but she has bought about 30 newborn outfits. She can buy whatever she wants - it’s her money too, but I told her she should buy bigger sizes. I still don’t think 2 swings, 2 rock and plays, 2 different playmate, etc., is necessary either, but she wants one for every floor.

We talked and set a budget. We will do the nursery design ( not very extravagant) in a nice gray ( her favorite color), and limit the purchases until we see what we get from the baby registry. Our child also might have a preference for diapers, wipes, what they sleep in, etc., so no need to go crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't be cheap with the rocking chair. I've spent hours in ours and it is not the trendiest but it is the most comfortable chair ever (gigantic best chair swivel recliner style).

In this vein, I give you permission, OP, to spend whatever you want on a big comfy recliner for your man cave. You’ll spend hours in it. Actually I assume all of the proponents of letting Wife spend whatever she wants on this sh*t would be completely fine with you blowing the budget and hiring a designer for a really awesome man cave—which you’ll get more use out of anyway and won’t need to redecorate and replace all of the furniture in nearly as quickly. Go for it. (I am a woman, FWIW)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We had a new crib and bassinet. Neither was ever used. Baby would not sleep unless cuddled next to me. I would wait until baby arrives and you see what you actually need.

Cosleeping with a newborn is dangerous. Do not do this.

Just get a cheap crib or bassinet

Co-sleeping is safe if done right.

OP here. As healthcare professionals, we know the science, and co-sleeping is not safe. Our child will only sleep in a crib or bassinet. We aren’t against many things, but feel very strongly about the risk of co-sleeping.

Ha! experts with no real experience. Let's see what happens when the baby arrives and won't sleep by themselves!

No baby wants to sleep in a bassinet or crib. You have to train them to do so. And I am speaking from experience. If OP hi is co sleeping is dangerous, they will train baby to sleep in crib. It’s not easy and yes I have two kids.

OP here. We will train him to sleep in the crib. Idiotic people will say it’s safe, but it’s not. I’ve heard many bad stories of parents smothering their children during co-sleeping.

People who have successfully co-slept are not idiots. I don't care what you do with your child but, you have no idea what you will do until the baby gets here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't be cheap with the rocking chair. I've spent hours in ours and it is not the trendiest but it is the most comfortable chair ever (gigantic best chair swivel recliner style).

In this vein, I give you permission, OP, to spend whatever you want on a big comfy recliner for your man cave. You’ll spend hours in it. Actually I assume all of the proponents of letting Wife spend whatever she wants on this sh*t would be completely fine with you blowing the budget and hiring a designer for a really awesome man cave—which you’ll get more use out of anyway and won’t need to redecorate and replace all of the furniture in nearly as quickly. Go for it. (I am a woman, FWIW)

OP here. I don’t have a man cave.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We had a new crib and bassinet. Neither was ever used. Baby would not sleep unless cuddled next to me. I would wait until baby arrives and you see what you actually need.

Cosleeping with a newborn is dangerous. Do not do this.

Just get a cheap crib or bassinet

Co-sleeping is safe if done right.

OP here. As healthcare professionals, we know the science, and co-sleeping is not safe. Our child will only sleep in a crib or bassinet. We aren’t against many things, but feel very strongly about the risk of co-sleeping.

Ha! experts with no real experience. Let's see what happens when the baby arrives and won't sleep by themselves!

No baby wants to sleep in a bassinet or crib. You have to train them to do so. And I am speaking from experience. If OP hi is co sleeping is dangerous, they will train baby to sleep in crib. It’s not easy and yes I have two kids.

OP here. We will train him to sleep in the crib. Idiotic people will say it’s safe, but it’s not. I’ve heard many bad stories of parents smothering their children during co-sleeping.

People who have successfully co-slept are not idiots. I don't care what you do with your child but, you have no idea what you will do until the baby gets here.

Op here. Sorry for the use of the word, but I will never co-sleep. We find it completely dangerous, and it’s not something we will ever do. I’m glad it thankfully worked for you, but please don’t act as if co-sleeping isn’t dangerous. It very much is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't be cheap with the rocking chair. I've spent hours in ours and it is not the trendiest but it is the most comfortable chair ever (gigantic best chair swivel recliner style).

Agreement that this is the thing to spend money on (or make sure it is comfortable).

OP here. We didn’t cheap out on those areas. We bought a $900 crib ( convertible), $800 glider chair, and out a Halo Basinnet on our registry. I am not saying she can’t have fun, because this might be our only child, but she has bought about 30 newborn outfits. She can buy whatever she wants - it’s her money too, but I told her she should buy bigger sizes. I still don’t think 2 swings, 2 rock and plays, 2 different playmate, etc., is necessary either, but she wants one for every floor.

We talked and set a budget. We will do the nursery design ( not very extravagant) in a nice gray ( her favorite color), and limit the purchases until we see what we get from the baby registry. Our child also might have a preference for diapers, wipes, what they sleep in, etc., so no need to go crazy.

This is good!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are expecting our first child. We are designing the nursery and getting everything needed for the baby. She is going overboard with wanting a huge theme, fancy furniture, and a bunch of stuff. I know she is super excited, but I don’t see the point of spending a ton of money on items are child will grow out of quickly. I understand we will need to spend money on some staple items like a crib, rocking chair, dresser, car seat, stroller, etc., but I don’t think we need a $1200 bassinet, two different swings, a bunch of brand new clothes, etc. I don’t mean to come across as a jerk, because I’m just as excited, but I know there is more important items to put money towards. How can I make her see this?

It is what she can control right now. She can’t do much more than eat and sleep and wait otherwise. She feels lousy and is gaining weight at a rapid pace. She needs a diversion.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We had a new crib and bassinet. Neither was ever used. Baby would not sleep unless cuddled next to me. I would wait until baby arrives and you see what you actually need.

Cosleeping with a newborn is dangerous. Do not do this.

Just get a cheap crib or bassinet

Co-sleeping is safe if done right.

OP here. As healthcare professionals, we know the science, and co-sleeping is not safe. Our child will only sleep in a crib or bassinet. We aren’t against many things, but feel very strongly about the risk of co-sleeping.

We did at around 18 months when the nightmares came. It lasted for 6-12 months.

Ha! experts with no real experience. Let's see what happens when the baby arrives and won't sleep by themselves!

No baby wants to sleep in a bassinet or crib. You have to train them to do so. And I am speaking from experience. If OP hi is co sleeping is dangerous, they will train baby to sleep in crib. It’s not easy and yes I have two kids.

OP here. We will train him to sleep in the crib. Idiotic people will say it’s safe, but it’s not. I’ve heard many bad stories of parents smothering their children during co-sleeping.

People who have successfully co-slept are not idiots. I don't care what you do with your child but, you have no idea what you will do until the baby gets here.

Op here. Sorry for the use of the word, but I will never co-sleep. We find it completely dangerous, and it’s not something we will ever do. I’m glad it thankfully worked for you, but please don’t act as if co-sleeping isn’t dangerous. It very much is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It’s hard to reply back to each post individually, so I’m going to do it all here.

We both work and our HHI is low 300’s. We have a good amount of savings.

We definitely aren’t being cheap about big ticket items - Green Guard crib, carseat, stroller, etc. The rocker/glider is also expensive, but I’ve read not to cheap out in that.

I think the basinet is crazy, but If she really wants it, we can try to get it on sale.

We definitely will not be co-sleeping. It’s highly dangerous, and crazy anyone would even attempt to do it.

I never thought I would co-sleep. Our second kid would not sleep unless being held. At some point I had to give in after being up ALL NIGHT for 4 months when she would not sleep like my first. She also did not sleep through the night until 2.5 years old. You just never know what is going to happen. For what it is worth, our first kid slept in a $150 bassinet for 4 months. After that, we spent a lot on nice furniture--crib, dresser, nightstand, Dutalier glider that was $600. Our changing table was cheap from Babies R Us. I did not buy any of this stuff until right after the first kid was born (except bassinet and car seat). We used all of it for the second kid and it was worth the money. Our HHI was the same as yours when the first kid was born. I kept a spreadsheet of everything I spent the first year of life and it totaled $7,000. We used it all for the second kid and barely spent any on that kid (same gender second kid).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are expecting our first child. We are designing the nursery and getting everything needed for the baby. She is going overboard with wanting a huge theme, fancy furniture, and a bunch of stuff. I know she is super excited, but I don’t see the point of spending a ton of money on items are child will grow out of quickly. I understand we will need to spend money on some staple items like a crib, rocking chair, dresser, car seat, stroller, etc., but I don’t think we need a $1200 bassinet, two different swings, a bunch of brand new clothes, etc. I don’t mean to come across as a jerk, because I’m just as excited, but I know there is more important items to put money towards. How can I make her see this?

It is what she can control right now. She can’t do much more than eat and sleep and wait otherwise. She feels lousy and is gaining weight at a rapid pace. She needs a diversion.

OP here. She’s beautiful and pregnant. She is doing plenty - workouts almost everyday, goes to work, goes out with friends, helps clean the house, cooks dinner, etc. She’s also not gaining much weight either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It’s hard to reply back to each post individually, so I’m going to do it all here.

We both work and our HHI is low 300’s. We have a good amount of savings.

We definitely aren’t being cheap about big ticket items - Green Guard crib, carseat, stroller, etc. The rocker/glider is also expensive, but I’ve read not to cheap out in that.

I think the basinet is crazy, but If she really wants it, we can try to get it on sale.

We definitely will not be co-sleeping. It’s highly dangerous, and crazy anyone would even attempt to do it.

I never thought I would co-sleep. Our second kid would not sleep unless being held. At some point I had to give in after being up ALL NIGHT for 4 months when she would not sleep like my first. She also did not sleep through the night until 2.5 years old. You just never know what is going to happen. For what it is worth, our first kid slept in a $150 bassinet for 4 months. After that, we spent a lot on nice furniture--crib, dresser, nightstand, Dutalier glider that was $600. Our changing table was cheap from Babies R Us. I did not buy any of this stuff until right after the first kid was born (except bassinet and car seat). We used all of it for the second kid and it was worth the money. Our HHI was the same as yours when the first kid was born. I kept a spreadsheet of everything I spent the first year of life and it totaled $7,000. We used it all for the second kid and barely spent any on that kid (same gender second kid).

OP here. I am sorry about your situation, but we are confident in never co-sleeping. We will sleep train at appropriate age, take shifts, hire a night nurse, etc., but are both adamant co-sleeping will never happen. We will already be taking shifts for feeding, and I plan to be just as apart of the night sleep isssue as she is. She won’t be doing it alone.