If your kids are older, when did you get rid of the "particpation trophies?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why parents gets spun up about this. At least three posters on here have said that it was really easy to get rid of the participation trophies, because as their kids got older they were easily able to distinguish the difference between a participation and an achievement.


These are just nice things for young kids to have and as someone else point out, showing up is a huge part of it. Showing up, practicing teamwork, being part of a team, working together. I don't see what is so wrong with rewarding that in young children.

There a certain set of hard ass parents who think that they're like the most awesome non coddling parents in the world who will have the most resilient best children ever. But your attitude is not great and you're probably not going to get the results you want

Well and the thing is that they are raising spoiled kids by this and they don't see it. Their kids will be nightmares in the work force eventually.

Participation trophies are by no means a new phenomenon. I am almost 50 years old and I received participation trophies for soccer and swimming and any number of "certificates of participation" for things ranging from spelling bees to field day at school. I also lettered in a high school sport without being particularly talented. The idea that the recognition of participation will make children grow up to be "entitled nightmares" is just the latest in pop psychology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No, you misread. The nightmares will be the kids of the parents who teach them accepting a trophy with grace is less important than sharing their feelings about participation trophies with the world.

Graciousness is a key workplace value.

I agree with this 100 percent. I'm not the biggest fan of participation trophies, but don't feel a need to make a public statement about my feelings about a relatively trivial issue. We accept them politely, and move on.

I just don't think either of these extremes will lead to nightmares.

[Anonymous]

wait a minute. there are seriously adults telling their children, upon receipt of a trophy from a coach who is likely a volunteer who's spent time working with that kid, that they should refuse the trophy? are you for real?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

You actually don't have to teach this. Life shows you this is the case in a myriad of ways. It doesn't have to be exhibited at every stage. My kids work hard all season in their sport. I'm fine with recognition of that effort.

+1. I don't get the participation trophy hate. Or people thinking they're a recent invention -- I'm in my 50's and got one every year when I was on swim team back in the 70's. It was the *only* trophy I got, I wasn't a very good competitive swimmer, and damn did I cherish that thing.

I'm all for recognizing the bench warmers, the kids who were at very practice giving it their best. The stars get plenty of kudos and know who they are, I don't think giving a little trophy to everyone on the team diminishes them at all.

No one is saying don’t offer them. But don’t force my child to accept them so that your kid feels good about them.

Wow, that's a really sh*tty attitude to instill in your kids. I bet when your kids are in the workforce and some benefit is handed out to all -- a group bonus, a day off, etc. -- they'll happily take it, even if someone else did the heavy lifting.

+1 I suspect PPs kids won't make it too far in the workforce because they'll be entitled prima donnas. All these parents who are teaching their kids they're too good to say "thank you" are appalling.

My kid says thank you. As in “No, thank you.”

Its still rude. Someone went out of their way to get them. For older kids, its a waste of money but it really depends on the sport and situation. For swim, a kid who shows up every day, tries hard at the meet but doesn't win, I think its a great thing. For something like soccer or basketball for 3 year olds, I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why parents gets spun up about this. At least three posters on here have said that it was really easy to get rid of the participation trophies, because as their kids got older they were easily able to distinguish the difference between a participation and an achievement.


These are just nice things for young kids to have and as someone else point out, showing up is a huge part of it. Showing up, practicing teamwork, being part of a team, working together. I don't see what is so wrong with rewarding that in young children.

There a certain set of hard ass parents who think that they're like the most awesome non coddling parents in the world who will have the most resilient best children ever. But your attitude is not great and you're probably not going to get the results you want

Well and the thing is that they are raising spoiled kids by this and they don't see it. Their kids will be nightmares in the work force eventually.

Participation trophies are by no means a new phenomenon. I am almost 50 years old and I received participation trophies for soccer and swimming and any number of "certificates of participation" for things ranging from spelling bees to field day at school. I also lettered in a high school sport without being particularly talented. The idea that the recognition of participation will make children grow up to be "entitled nightmares" is just the latest in pop psychology.

You misread. The ones who can't learn how to graciously say thank you and move on are the entitled nightmares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

You actually don't have to teach this. Life shows you this is the case in a myriad of ways. It doesn't have to be exhibited at every stage. My kids work hard all season in their sport. I'm fine with recognition of that effort.

+1. I don't get the participation trophy hate. Or people thinking they're a recent invention -- I'm in my 50's and got one every year when I was on swim team back in the 70's. It was the *only* trophy I got, I wasn't a very good competitive swimmer, and damn did I cherish that thing.

I'm all for recognizing the bench warmers, the kids who were at very practice giving it their best. The stars get plenty of kudos and know who they are, I don't think giving a little trophy to everyone on the team diminishes them at all.

No one is saying don’t offer them. But don’t force my child to accept them so that your kid feels good about them.

Wow, that's a really sh*tty attitude to instill in your kids. I bet when your kids are in the workforce and some benefit is handed out to all -- a group bonus, a day off, etc. -- they'll happily take it, even if someone else did the heavy lifting.

+1 I suspect PPs kids won't make it too far in the workforce because they'll be entitled prima donnas. All these parents who are teaching their kids they're too good to say "thank you" are appalling.

My kid says thank you. As in “No, thank you.”

Its still rude. Someone went out of their way to get them. For older kids, its a waste of money but it really depends on the sport and situation. For swim, a kid who shows up every day, tries hard at the meet but doesn't win, I think its a great thing. For something like soccer or basketball for 3 year olds, I don't get it.

+1 It's incredibly rude behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wait a minute. there are seriously adults telling their children, upon receipt of a trophy from a coach who is likely a volunteer who's spent time working with that kid, that they should refuse the trophy? are you for real?

Yes. Hard to believe, but yes. And yes it's horrible behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why parents gets spun up about this. At least three posters on here have said that it was really easy to get rid of the participation trophies, because as their kids got older they were easily able to distinguish the difference between a participation and an achievement.


These are just nice things for young kids to have and as someone else point out, showing up is a huge part of it. Showing up, practicing teamwork, being part of a team, working together. I don't see what is so wrong with rewarding that in young children.

There a certain set of hard ass parents who think that they're like the most awesome non coddling parents in the world who will have the most resilient best children ever. But your attitude is not great and you're probably not going to get the results you want

Well and the thing is that they are raising spoiled kids by this and they don't see it. Their kids will be nightmares in the work force eventually.

My older one is already in the workforce as a degreed professional, has had two promotions in the last 13 mos, and is supervising people in their thirties. You don’t get that from raising a kid to crave kudos for just participating.

I am skeptical, but even if true, I suspect a kid who doesn't know how to be a team player will hit a wall quickly. I have seen it plenty of times in my career. True leadership requires the ability to lead, not make life all about your own feelings.

[Anonymous]

The only trophy my son got was when he was 5 and he played soccer and lacrosse for one year. After that, he had to win to get an award. He has a lot of medals from fencing but he had to work hard to get them. They only give them to the top 3 (or top 8 in regional and national events).

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm 47 and recently spent 3 weekends cleaning out my parents' attic. Among the tons of random crap, there were boxes and boxes and more boxes of my old trophies, tournament t-shirts, etc., etc. Ugh.

Consequently, last weekend I had my 16 year olds do a major culling of their stuff - only a few trophies survived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess what, life is 95% about showing up prepared, not winning.

Some of you are cruel to your kids and you think you’re doing them a favor.

I agree, except the kids get the trophies for just paying the Registration Fee. We have tons from baseball. The entire team gets them. Doesn’t matter how many games you have played. Doesn’t matter if you miss practice.

My 11 year old still keeps his but I gently remind him that they’re not really for anything special (versus when he won a medal for something he actually earned).

What a jerk. Why? Why would you say this? Why can't he come to his own conclusions about it?

Yeah. The kid who doesn't get the medal could be working three times as hard as yours because he doesn't have whatever it is you child was genetically gifted with. It's not as if they all start on a level playing field; some kids are taller, stronger, have better vision, don't have asthma, whatever.

That said, I want them to be medals or ribbons that can be kept in a memento box.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

Mostly true for us as well. If the adults were insistent, she accepted it, but gave them away. She still resists the hoopla over just showing up.

what - my child loves these?! Se cheers on firends who *really* won, but she still loves his ribbons and trophies. She did work hard for them. As a partent, I value hard work more than winning. Would rather have a hard working participant than a kid who wins without hard work because she has talent

To the OP, it's your hcild's poession. They get rid of when/if they want to. When I was growing up, these were much more rare, but I still have all of mine and all my "certificates of particpation" along with legitimate awards. They are in a box somewhere in the attic.