If your kids are older, when did you get rid of the "particpation trophies?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

Mostly true for us as well. If the adults were insistent, she accepted it, but gave them away. She still resists the hoopla over just showing up.

So rude, do you encourage her to give back other gifts she doesn’t like?

NP. It's not rude at all; after all, it's not meant to be a gift. It's a "reward" for just showing up.

My kids don't accept these either, and they are happy to tell the coach or teacher why.

What entitled little brats you are raising!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

Mostly true for us as well. If the adults were insistent, she accepted it, but gave them away. She still resists the hoopla over just showing up.

So rude, do you encourage her to give back other gifts she doesn’t like?

NP. It's not rude at all; after all, it's not meant to be a gift. It's a "reward" for just showing up.

My kids don't accept these either, and they are happy to tell the coach or teacher why.

What entitled little brats you are raising!

DP. I don't quite understand what's entitled about it. But yes, I'm imagining the dialogue:

Coach: And here's your trophy, Larla.
Larla: No, I don't accept participation trophies. My mother says they're a reward for just showing up and that people shouldn't be rewarded for just showing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These stop? I mean, they give medals for every freaking adult who runs a race longer than 10K these days. It's absurd.

You do realize that those are completion medals for races that take a hell of a lot of training and effort? You don't get one if you just show up

Come on. These race medals are nothing more than participation trophies. Don't delude yourselves.

I suspect there is an overlap between the parents who are jerks to their kids about participation trophies but who throw a fit if they don't get a medal for running a Saturday morning community 5K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

You actually don't have to teach this. Life shows you this is the case in a myriad of ways. It doesn't have to be exhibited at every stage. My kids work hard all season in their sport. I'm fine with recognition of that effort.

+1. I don't get the participation trophy hate. Or people thinking they're a recent invention -- I'm in my 50's and got one every year when I was on swim team back in the 70's. It was the *only* trophy I got, I wasn't a very good competitive swimmer, and damn did I cherish that thing.

I'm all for recognizing the bench warmers, the kids who were at very practice giving it their best. The stars get plenty of kudos and know who they are, I don't think giving a little trophy to everyone on the team diminishes them at all.

No one is saying don’t offer them. But don’t force my child to accept them so that your kid feels good about them.

Wow, that's a really sh*tty attitude to instill in your kids. I bet when your kids are in the workforce and some benefit is handed out to all -- a group bonus, a day off, etc. -- they'll happily take it, even if someone else did the heavy lifting.

+1 I suspect PPs kids won't make it too far in the workforce because they'll be entitled prima donnas. All these parents who are teaching their kids they're too good to say "thank you" are appalling.

[Anonymous]

I do not understand why parents gets spun up about this. At least three posters on here have said that it was really easy to get rid of the participation trophies, because as their kids got older they were easily able to distinguish the difference between a participation and an achievement.


These are just nice things for young kids to have and as someone else point out, showing up is a huge part of it. Showing up, practicing teamwork, being part of a team, working together. I don't see what is so wrong with rewarding that in young children.

There a certain set of hard ass parents who think that they're like the most awesome non coddling parents in the world who will have the most resilient best children ever. But your attitude is not great and you're probably not going to get the results you want

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

Mostly true for us as well. If the adults were insistent, she accepted it, but gave them away. She still resists the hoopla over just showing up.

So rude, do you encourage her to give back other gifts she doesn’t like?

NP. It's not rude at all; after all, it's not meant to be a gift. It's a "reward" for just showing up.

My kids don't accept these either, and they are happy to tell the coach or teacher why.

What entitled little brats you are raising!

DP. I don't quite understand what's entitled about it. But yes, I'm imagining the dialogue:

Coach: And here's your trophy, Larla.
Larla: No, I don't accept participation trophies. My mother says they're a reward for just showing up and that people shouldn't be rewarded for just showing up.

Entitled because Larla is putting her desire to make a useless statement over showing graciousness. Larla's family is teaching her that Larla's feelings and emotions are so important that she gets to express them whenever and however she likes, even if the time and place are wrong.

I have no problem with Larla deciding she doesn't want the trophy and quietly disposing of it later, but Larla making a big scene about how she won't accept it, yeah, that's classic entitlement. Larla is a terribly spoiled brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why parents gets spun up about this. At least three posters on here have said that it was really easy to get rid of the participation trophies, because as their kids got older they were easily able to distinguish the difference between a participation and an achievement.


These are just nice things for young kids to have and as someone else point out, showing up is a huge part of it. Showing up, practicing teamwork, being part of a team, working together. I don't see what is so wrong with rewarding that in young children.

There a certain set of hard ass parents who think that they're like the most awesome non coddling parents in the world who will have the most resilient best children ever. But your attitude is not great and you're probably not going to get the results you want

Well and the thing is that they are raising spoiled kids by this and they don't see it. Their kids will be nightmares in the work force eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

You actually don't have to teach this. Life shows you this is the case in a myriad of ways. It doesn't have to be exhibited at every stage. My kids work hard all season in their sport. I'm fine with recognition of that effort.

+1. I don't get the participation trophy hate. Or people thinking they're a recent invention -- I'm in my 50's and got one every year when I was on swim team back in the 70's. It was the *only* trophy I got, I wasn't a very good competitive swimmer, and damn did I cherish that thing.

I'm all for recognizing the bench warmers, the kids who were at very practice giving it their best. The stars get plenty of kudos and know who they are, I don't think giving a little trophy to everyone on the team diminishes them at all.

No one is saying don’t offer them. But don’t force my child to accept them so that your kid feels good about them.

Wow, that's a really sh*tty attitude to instill in your kids. I bet when your kids are in the workforce and some benefit is handed out to all -- a group bonus, a day off, etc. -- they'll happily take it, even if someone else did the heavy lifting.

+1 I suspect PPs kids won't make it too far in the workforce because they'll be entitled prima donnas. All these parents who are teaching their kids they're too good to say "thank you" are appalling.

My kid says thank you. As in “No, thank you.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know, when kids have anxiety, when they are trying something new, when they put themselves out there-- that should be encouraged. We called them the "showing up" medal. "You're here- and that makes you a winner compared to everyone who stayed home. If you want to place, and get a different color of ribbon, let's talk strategy." That's how we handle it.

The reward is getting to do the class/sport/program they signed up for and that their parents paid money for. You can't go swimming at home, can you? If my kids asked me to sign them up for something, and then refused to go, they wouldn't get the reward of learning whatever they signed up for or making friends with other kids interested in that. And if they did it a second time, I'd make them pay me back however much it cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My kid says thank you. As in “No, thank you.”

And if that's your Hill Of Principle, well, ok, I guess. It's not mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why parents gets spun up about this. At least three posters on here have said that it was really easy to get rid of the participation trophies, because as their kids got older they were easily able to distinguish the difference between a participation and an achievement.


These are just nice things for young kids to have and as someone else point out, showing up is a huge part of it. Showing up, practicing teamwork, being part of a team, working together. I don't see what is so wrong with rewarding that in young children.

There a certain set of hard ass parents who think that they're like the most awesome non coddling parents in the world who will have the most resilient best children ever. But your attitude is not great and you're probably not going to get the results you want

Well and the thing is that they are raising spoiled kids by this and they don't see it. Their kids will be nightmares in the work force eventually.

My older one is already in the workforce as a degreed professional, has had two promotions in the last 13 mos, and is supervising people in their thirties. You don’t get that from raising a kid to crave kudos for just participating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why parents gets spun up about this. At least three posters on here have said that it was really easy to get rid of the participation trophies, because as their kids got older they were easily able to distinguish the difference between a participation and an achievement.


These are just nice things for young kids to have and as someone else point out, showing up is a huge part of it. Showing up, practicing teamwork, being part of a team, working together. I don't see what is so wrong with rewarding that in young children.

There a certain set of hard ass parents who think that they're like the most awesome non coddling parents in the world who will have the most resilient best children ever. But your attitude is not great and you're probably not going to get the results you want

Well and the thing is that they are raising spoiled kids by this and they don't see it. Their kids will be nightmares in the work force eventually.

Their kids are nightmares who can't properly function in the workforce as an adult? Because they got a participation medal in 3d grade? Mkay, pumpkin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why parents gets spun up about this. At least three posters on here have said that it was really easy to get rid of the participation trophies, because as their kids got older they were easily able to distinguish the difference between a participation and an achievement.


These are just nice things for young kids to have and as someone else point out, showing up is a huge part of it. Showing up, practicing teamwork, being part of a team, working together. I don't see what is so wrong with rewarding that in young children.

There a certain set of hard ass parents who think that they're like the most awesome non coddling parents in the world who will have the most resilient best children ever. But your attitude is not great and you're probably not going to get the results you want

Well and the thing is that they are raising spoiled kids by this and they don't see it. Their kids will be nightmares in the work force eventually.

Their kids are nightmares who can't properly function in the workforce as an adult? Because they got a participation medal in 3d grade? Mkay, pumpkin.

No, you misread. The nightmares will be the kids of the parents who teach them accepting a trophy with grace is less important than sharing their feelings about participation trophies with the world.

Graciousness is a key workplace value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My older one is already in the workforce as a degreed professional, has had two promotions in the last 13 mos, and is supervising people in their thirties. You don’t get that from raising a kid to crave kudos for just participating.

If I offered you a trophy for raising your child to functional adulthood, would you turn it down on grounds that this is the minimum standard?

[Anonymous]

No, you misread. The nightmares will be the kids of the parents who teach them accepting a trophy with grace is less important than sharing their feelings about participation trophies with the world.

Graciousness is a key workplace value.

I agree with this 100 percent. I'm not the biggest fan of participation trophies, but don't feel a need to make a public statement about my feelings about a relatively trivial issue. We accept them politely, and move on.