If your kids are older, when did you get rid of the "particpation trophies?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

us too, they have since all gone to win plenty of them. They earned them though.

[Anonymous]

You know, when kids have anxiety, when they are trying something new, when they put themselves out there-- that should be encouraged. We called them the "showing up" medal. "You're here- and that makes you a winner compared to everyone who stayed home. If you want to place, and get a different color of ribbon, let's talk strategy." That's how we handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

Mostly true for us as well. If the adults were insistent, she accepted it, but gave them away. She still resists the hoopla over just showing up.

So rude, do you encourage her to give back other gifts she doesn’t like?

+1 So rude. Honestly what happened to teaching graciousness?

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

You actually don't have to teach this. Life shows you this is the case in a myriad of ways. It doesn't have to be exhibited at every stage. My kids work hard all season in their sport. I'm fine with recognition of that effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

Mostly true for us as well. If the adults were insistent, she accepted it, but gave them away. She still resists the hoopla over just showing up.

So rude, do you encourage her to give back other gifts she doesn’t like?

+1 So rude. Honestly what happened to teaching graciousness?

+2 Personally, I never saw the trophy as a kind of fake award, it's just a memento of the season. Accept it graciously, keep it if you want or don't.

When kids are little, it's a memento. But when/if they earn trophies and medals, at least for my kids, they see the old participation trophies as meaningless. Probably because they have other mementos that are more meaningful. Like tshirts. So many freaking tshirts. At least the tshirts store easily.

they are just as bad. I try to donate them but most of the time they go into the trash. My boys do not want to wear a t-shirt from some tournament

[Anonymous]

My kids decided themselves to dump them at around age 9-10. They only keep the ones they "earned," which seems to include 1st-3rd place ribbons from A meets, plaques from Divisionals, soccer tournament medals, and swim and tennis banquet awards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

Mostly true for us as well. If the adults were insistent, she accepted it, but gave them away. She still resists the hoopla over just showing up.

So rude, do you encourage her to give back other gifts she doesn’t like?

NP. It's not rude at all; after all, it's not meant to be a gift. It's a "reward" for just showing up.

My kids don't accept these either, and they are happy to tell the coach or teacher why.

Showing up is 80 percent of life. No "just" about it.

Right. But you don’t get- or shouldn’t expect- a trophy for it. It’s the minimum standard.

I'm the PP you're responding to. I don't expect a trophy for anything. But I don't have a problem with participation trophies, as a concept. If showing up is its own reward, then so is winning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

You actually don't have to teach this. Life shows you this is the case in a myriad of ways. It doesn't have to be exhibited at every stage. My kids work hard all season in their sport. I'm fine with recognition of that effort.

+1. I don't get the participation trophy hate. Or people thinking they're a recent invention -- I'm in my 50's and got one every year when I was on swim team back in the 70's. It was the *only* trophy I got, I wasn't a very good competitive swimmer, and damn did I cherish that thing.

I'm all for recognizing the bench warmers, the kids who were at very practice giving it their best. The stars get plenty of kudos and know who they are, I don't think giving a little trophy to everyone on the team diminishes them at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

You actually don't have to teach this. Life shows you this is the case in a myriad of ways. It doesn't have to be exhibited at every stage. My kids work hard all season in their sport. I'm fine with recognition of that effort.

+1. I don't get the participation trophy hate. Or people thinking they're a recent invention -- I'm in my 50's and got one every year when I was on swim team back in the 70's. It was the *only* trophy I got, I wasn't a very good competitive swimmer, and damn did I cherish that thing.

I'm all for recognizing the bench warmers, the kids who were at very practice giving it their best. The stars get plenty of kudos and know who they are, I don't think giving a little trophy to everyone on the team diminishes them at all.

Because participating is more important than winning ask your cardiologist and orthopedic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

You actually don't have to teach this. Life shows you this is the case in a myriad of ways. It doesn't have to be exhibited at every stage. My kids work hard all season in their sport. I'm fine with recognition of that effort.

+1. I don't get the participation trophy hate. Or people thinking they're a recent invention -- I'm in my 50's and got one every year when I was on swim team back in the 70's. It was the *only* trophy I got, I wasn't a very good competitive swimmer, and damn did I cherish that thing.

I'm all for recognizing the bench warmers, the kids who were at very practice giving it their best. The stars get plenty of kudos and know who they are, I don't think giving a little trophy to everyone on the team diminishes them at all.

No one is saying don’t offer them. But don’t force my child to accept them so that your kid feels good about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

You actually don't have to teach this. Life shows you this is the case in a myriad of ways. It doesn't have to be exhibited at every stage. My kids work hard all season in their sport. I'm fine with recognition of that effort.

+1. I don't get the participation trophy hate. Or people thinking they're a recent invention -- I'm in my 50's and got one every year when I was on swim team back in the 70's. It was the *only* trophy I got, I wasn't a very good competitive swimmer, and damn did I cherish that thing.

I'm all for recognizing the bench warmers, the kids who were at very practice giving it their best. The stars get plenty of kudos and know who they are, I don't think giving a little trophy to everyone on the team diminishes them at all.

No one is saying don’t offer them. But don’t force my child to accept them so that your kid feels good about them.

Wow, that's a really sh*tty attitude to instill in your kids. I bet when your kids are in the workforce and some benefit is handed out to all -- a group bonus, a day off, etc. -- they'll happily take it, even if someone else did the heavy lifting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No one is saying don’t offer them. But don’t force my child to accept them so that your kid feels good about them.

What do you mean by "force"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No one is saying don’t offer them. But don’t force my child to accept them so that your kid feels good about them.

This is really funny. Plenty of people advocate not offering them and no one is forcing your child to accept them.

[Anonymous]

No one is saying don’t offer them. But don’t force my child to accept them so that your kid feels good about them

No one is forcing your kid to accept them. You'll look like an entitled fool if you make some big deal about not taking them, but that's your right - go ahead.