If your kids are older, when did you get rid of the "particpation trophies?"

[Anonymous]

I feel like we've picked activities well, because we've done lots of soccer, some baseball, climbing, music, and various camps and classes and have very few medals and just one trophy from completing a swim class. My son is almost 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guess what, life is 95% about showing up prepared, not winning.

Some of you are cruel to your kids and you think you’re doing them a favor.

I agree, except the kids get the trophies for just paying the Registration Fee. We have tons from baseball. The entire team gets them. Doesn’t matter how many games you have played. Doesn’t matter if you miss practice.

My 11 year old still keeps his but I gently remind him that they’re not really for anything special (versus when he won a medal for something he actually earned).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess what, life is 95% about showing up prepared, not winning.

Some of you are cruel to your kids and you think you’re doing them a favor.

I agree, except the kids get the trophies for just paying the Registration Fee. We have tons from baseball. The entire team gets them. Doesn’t matter how many games you have played. Doesn’t matter if you miss practice.

My 11 year old still keeps his but I gently remind him that they’re not really for anything special (versus when he won a medal for something he actually earned).

What a jerk. Why? Why would you say this? Why can't he come to his own conclusions about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

Mostly true for us as well. If the adults were insistent, she accepted it, but gave them away. She still resists the hoopla over just showing up.

So rude, do you encourage her to give back other gifts she doesn’t like?

+1 So rude. Honestly what happened to teaching graciousness?

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

My kids teams usually have a pizza party after the season is over. The coach praises some particular thing each kid did during the season. The "participation trophy" is a paper plate that the coach has drawn something on to illustrate what the kid did. I do not view this as "for the parents" - nor is it sending the message that "everyone is a winner". It is just a nice way to end the season and to acknowledge that everyone worked hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These stop? I mean, they give medals for every freaking adult who runs a race longer than 10K these days. It's absurd.

You do realize that those are completion medals for races that take a hell of a lot of training and effort? You don't get one if you just show up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess what, life is 95% about showing up prepared, not winning.

Some of you are cruel to your kids and you think you’re doing them a favor.

I agree, except the kids get the trophies for just paying the Registration Fee. We have tons from baseball. The entire team gets them. Doesn’t matter how many games you have played. Doesn’t matter if you miss practice.

My 11 year old still keeps his but I gently remind him that they’re not really for anything special (versus when he won a medal for something he actually earned).

If he went to practice, worked hard, learned how to improve, and played hard at the games, then he very definitely "actually earned" the trophy.

I feel sad that your child has such a dick for a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

Mostly true for us as well. If the adults were insistent, she accepted it, but gave them away. She still resists the hoopla over just showing up.

So rude, do you encourage her to give back other gifts she doesn’t like?

+1 So rude. Honestly what happened to teaching graciousness?

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

My kids teams usually have a pizza party after the season is over. The coach praises some particular thing each kid did during the season. The "participation trophy" is a paper plate that the coach has drawn something on to illustrate what the kid did. I do not view this as "for the parents" - nor is it sending the message that "everyone is a winner". It is just a nice way to end the season and to acknowledge that everyone worked hard.

The paper plate awards are different and DD treasures those because they recognize her for actually doing something other than simply showing up. Plastic trophies for participating? No, she’s good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No one is saying don’t offer them. But don’t force my child to accept them so that your kid feels good about them.

This is really funny. Plenty of people advocate not offering them and no one is forcing your child to accept them.

All the post saying it’s rude to not accept them.

[Anonymous]

I think they can have some value. My son got a participation medal from a chess tournament recently. He lost every game - the tournament was organized in a different style than usual and he was matched against players that were much higher-rated and experienced than him. He stuck in there and tried and kept a good attitude about things. He deserves the medal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

Mostly true for us as well. If the adults were insistent, she accepted it, but gave them away. She still resists the hoopla over just showing up.

So rude, do you encourage her to give back other gifts she doesn’t like?

+1 So rude. Honestly what happened to teaching graciousness?

whatever happened to teaching that life is not always fair and that not everyone is a "winner" These ceremonies are more for the parents anyway, the kids know they do not deserve anything, or at least they should.

My kids teams usually have a pizza party after the season is over. The coach praises some particular thing each kid did during the season. The "participation trophy" is a paper plate that the coach has drawn something on to illustrate what the kid did. I do not view this as "for the parents" - nor is it sending the message that "everyone is a winner". It is just a nice way to end the season and to acknowledge that everyone worked hard.

The paper plate awards are different and DD treasures those because they recognize her for actually doing something other than simply showing up. Plastic trophies for participating? No, she’s good.

So "participation" trophies are okay if you participate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No one is saying don’t offer them. But don’t force my child to accept them so that your kid feels good about them.

This is really funny. Plenty of people advocate not offering them and no one is forcing your child to accept them.

All the post saying it’s rude to not accept them.

It's also rude not to respond to a party invitation when the invitation says RSVP, but nobody is forcing you to respond to the invitation - right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No one is saying don’t offer them. But don’t force my child to accept them so that your kid feels good about them.

This is really funny. Plenty of people advocate not offering them and no one is forcing your child to accept them.

All the post saying it’s rude to not accept them.

Acknowledging that something is rude does not equal forcing you to do something. You can choose to be rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i didn't allow my kids to accept them.

Mostly true for us as well. If the adults were insistent, she accepted it, but gave them away. She still resists the hoopla over just showing up.

So rude, do you encourage her to give back other gifts she doesn’t like?

+1 So rude. Honestly what happened to teaching graciousness?

+2 Personally, I never saw the trophy as a kind of fake award, it's just a memento of the season. Accept it graciously, keep it if you want or don't.

This is how I viewed them too. Plus, if the kid showed up and worked on the team AND the coach gave the memento with a word or two about the player contribution (which they always did), I don't see the problem. That's precisely why they do give race medals, to commemorate and to give you a "well done" for putting in the effort to run the half marathon or whatever. It is an accomplishment (though I'd rather have the tshirt than the medal).

Having said that, we have not been on a team past maybe 2d grade where a medal or trophy was given out.

Honestly, some of you all go above and beyond to find something to bitch about.

[Anonymous]

Wow, some of you are awful people.

[Anonymous]

When I was I need second grade, I asked to sign up for soccer because I was jealous of the other kids with trophies. Soccer, and other youth sports were for the most part a total mess for me, but if it weren’t for my desire to get those silly trophies, that is one more afternoon and weekend morning I would have been sedentary. Shrug. I did toss the trophies by high school.