I feel like I settled

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. My husband is a kind and decent man. But he is very ordinary. He has a boring middle manager job and lives a very ordinary life with middle/ lower middle class people. He’s just an average Joe.

I notice my social circle pairing up and it’s obvious that I have “married down.” None of my friends have anything in common with my husband. We’re all globalists and enjoy the finer things in life and he is very simple. We all have interesting careers at World Bank, NASA and USAID etc... my husband is at a small company and has no greater ambitions.

I was attracted to him because he is so nice and kind. But I’m sick of everyone looking down at him and his “redneck” ways and feel embarrassed.

I feel awful. I love him dearly but can’t help but feel annoyed that no one seems to appreciate him or be impressed by him.

Marriage sounds awesome. Where do I sign up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two sides to everyone coin OP - don't be this woman:


Laughing and dancing with my fiance at our engagement party, I thought I might actually burst with happiness.

Surrounded by our family and friends, I looked at Matthew and felt certain I had met the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

Quite simply, he was my soulmate.

We were desperately in love and had our future life together mapped out.

First we would save to buy our own home, then would come a romantic wedding ceremony and children would follow.

It all seemed so simple to my naïve, 19-year-old self. I was, I smugly told myself, the girl who had it all.

So why, 20 years later, do I find myself single, childless and tormented by the fact that I have thrown away the only true chance of happiness I ever had?
Eight years after that wonderful engagement party in 1989, I walked away from dear, devoted, loyal Matthew, convinced that somewhere out there, a better, more exciting, more fulfilling life awaited me.
Only there wasn't.

Now I am 42 and have all the trappings of success - a high-flying career, financial security and a home in the heart of London's trendy Notting Hill. But I don't have the one thing I crave more than anything: a loving husband and family.
You see, I never did find another man who offered everything Matthew did, who understood me and loved me like he did. Someone who was my best friend as well as my lover.

Today, seeing friends with their children around them tortures me, as I know I am unlikely ever to have a family of my own. I think about the times Matthew and I talked about having children, even discussing the names we would choose. I cannot believe I turned my back on so much happiness.Instead, here I am back on the singles market, looking for the very thing I discarded with barely a backward glance all those years ago.

I know I can't have Matthew back, and it hurts when I hear snippets of information about his life and how content he is. Fifteen years after I ended our relationship, he is happily married.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2263518/I-left-love-life-I-thought-I-better-Now-Im-childless-42.html

She's getting exactly what she deserves.

[Anonymous]

Can we storm bashing WB/IMF/USAID people? Yes, op’s friends are idiots, but all of the antagonizing international development workers seems to come from a place of racism or jealousy. Why is DCUM so harsh? Both DH and I work for dev organizations, went to top graduate programs, are not rich (but doing fine) and would NEVER say what OP (and her friends) said. I am sure that OP is a foreigner (as I am) because of her grammar. I am also quite sure that she does not come from an educated family or from a top graduate program (at least not a competitive one). A family that values education, would NEVER be so superficial and honestly small minded (how did she call herself? Global something) to say that she married down. And her friends sound more like rich (but not very educated) people to me who compare bank accounts and prestigious positions instead of REAL happiness

[taketothebank]

Why do people keep dis'ing bald men? I like them.

<heart> please PM me. now <heart>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being a "globalist" is all well and good, but if your friends make your spouse feel unwelcome then your friends aren't very good people. Instead of starting to view your husband through their critical eyes, expand your circle. Being ambitious or smart is no excuse for being rude and unkind.

Hilarious to me that "globalism" is equated with ambitious or smart. It's simply "globalism". Plenty of ambitious/smart people are no longer globalists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two sides to everyone coin OP - don't be this woman:


Laughing and dancing with my fiance at our engagement party, I thought I might actually burst with happiness.

Surrounded by our family and friends, I looked at Matthew and felt certain I had met the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

Quite simply, he was my soulmate.

We were desperately in love and had our future life together mapped out.

First we would save to buy our own home, then would come a romantic wedding ceremony and children would follow.

It all seemed so simple to my naïve, 19-year-old self. I was, I smugly told myself, the girl who had it all.

So why, 20 years later, do I find myself single, childless and tormented by the fact that I have thrown away the only true chance of happiness I ever had?
Eight years after that wonderful engagement party in 1989, I walked away from dear, devoted, loyal Matthew, convinced that somewhere out there, a better, more exciting, more fulfilling life awaited me.
Only there wasn't.

Now I am 42 and have all the trappings of success - a high-flying career, financial security and a home in the heart of London's trendy Notting Hill. But I don't have the one thing I crave more than anything: a loving husband and family.
You see, I never did find another man who offered everything Matthew did, who understood me and loved me like he did. Someone who was my best friend as well as my lover.

Today, seeing friends with their children around them tortures me, as I know I am unlikely ever to have a family of my own. I think about the times Matthew and I talked about having children, even discussing the names we would choose. I cannot believe I turned my back on so much happiness.Instead, here I am back on the singles market, looking for the very thing I discarded with barely a backward glance all those years ago.

I know I can't have Matthew back, and it hurts when I hear snippets of information about his life and how content he is. Fifteen years after I ended our relationship, he is happily married.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2263518/I-left-love-life-I-thought-I-better-Now-Im-childless-42.html

She's getting exactly what she deserves.

She still looks good. She'll find someone.

[Anonymous]

She still looks good. She'll find someone.

She’s high maintenance. Even if a guy meets her exacting standards, he has to listen to her whine about the one who got away.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like the kind of person who grew up in a small town and who now desperately wants to believe that’s big time because she and her friends work at some stodgy agencies in DC. Get a grip already.

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids or want kids? Trust me most families can't survive having two big careers and kids. You're lucky to be married to someone who has a good job and is happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like the kind of person who grew up in a small town and who now desperately wants to believe that’s big time because she and her friends work at some stodgy agencies in DC. Get a grip already.

Yes, OP, I feel really bad for you. You should really take a hard look at yourself... most of the people in those fancy agencies you talk about would not want to be your friend. I know those people well...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two sides to everyone coin OP - don't be this woman:


Laughing and dancing with my fiance at our engagement party, I thought I might actually burst with happiness.

Surrounded by our family and friends, I looked at Matthew and felt certain I had met the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

Quite simply, he was my soulmate.

We were desperately in love and had our future life together mapped out.

First we would save to buy our own home, then would come a romantic wedding ceremony and children would follow.

It all seemed so simple to my naïve, 19-year-old self. I was, I smugly told myself, the girl who had it all.

So why, 20 years later, do I find myself single, childless and tormented by the fact that I have thrown away the only true chance of happiness I ever had?
Eight years after that wonderful engagement party in 1989, I walked away from dear, devoted, loyal Matthew, convinced that somewhere out there, a better, more exciting, more fulfilling life awaited me.
Only there wasn't.

Now I am 42 and have all the trappings of success - a high-flying career, financial security and a home in the heart of London's trendy Notting Hill. But I don't have the one thing I crave more than anything: a loving husband and family.
You see, I never did find another man who offered everything Matthew did, who understood me and loved me like he did. Someone who was my best friend as well as my lover.

Today, seeing friends with their children around them tortures me, as I know I am unlikely ever to have a family of my own. I think about the times Matthew and I talked about having children, even discussing the names we would choose. I cannot believe I turned my back on so much happiness.Instead, here I am back on the singles market, looking for the very thing I discarded with barely a backward glance all those years ago.

I know I can't have Matthew back, and it hurts when I hear snippets of information about his life and how content he is. Fifteen years after I ended our relationship, he is happily married.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2263518/I-left-love-life-I-thought-I-better-Now-Im-childless-42.html

She's getting exactly what she deserves.

She still looks good. She'll find someone.

First she will have to let go of her delusion and false idealism of the past. 11 years is a long time for someone to have this much power over your mind. She is in the critical stage, she needs to salvage these last few years of dating prime to get her head on straight or be an English cat lady forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. My husband is a kind and decent man. But he is very ordinary. He has a boring middle manager job and lives a very ordinary life with middle/ lower middle class people. He’s just an average Joe.

I notice my social circle pairing up and it’s obvious that I have “married down.” None of my friends have anything in common with my husband. We’re all globalists and enjoy the finer things in life and he is very simple. We all have interesting careers at World Bank, NASA and USAID etc... my husband is at a small company and has no greater ambitions.

I was attracted to him because he is so nice and kind. But I’m sick of everyone looking down at him and his “redneck” ways and feel embarrassed.

I feel awful. I love him dearly but can’t help but feel annoyed that no one seems to appreciate him or be impressed by him.

You ‘love him dearly’? You berate and humiliate him publicly, and you ‘love’ him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we storm bashing WB/IMF/USAID people? Yes, op’s friends are idiots, but all of the antagonizing international development workers seems to come from a place of racism or jealousy. Why is DCUM so harsh? Both DH and I work for dev organizations, went to top graduate programs, are not rich (but doing fine) and would NEVER say what OP (and her friends) said. I am sure that OP is a foreigner (as I am) because of her grammar. I am also quite sure that she does not come from an educated family or from a top graduate program (at least not a competitive one). A family that values education, would NEVER be so superficial and honestly small minded (how did she call herself? Global something) to say that she married down. And her friends sound more like rich (but not very educated) people to me who compare bank accounts and prestigious positions instead of REAL happiness

LOL you underestimate the stupidity and superficially of the educated. Try working at a university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. My husband is a kind and decent man. But he is very ordinary. He has a boring middle manager job and lives a very ordinary life with middle/ lower middle class people. He’s just an average Joe.

I notice my social circle pairing up and it’s obvious that I have “married down.” None of my friends have anything in common with my husband. We’re all globalists and enjoy the finer things in life and he is very simple. We all have interesting careers at World Bank, NASA and USAID etc... my husband is at a small company and has no greater ambitions.

I was attracted to him because he is so nice and kind. But I’m sick of everyone looking down at him and his “redneck” ways and feel embarrassed.

I feel awful. I love him dearly but can’t help but feel annoyed that no one seems to appreciate him or be impressed by him.

Just imagine how annoyed he'll feel when he finds out you're on social media complaining about how you married down.

[Anonymous]

DCUM is not social media. It’s an anonymous discussion forum. It’s not like op created a self-identifying username.