I feel like I settled

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. My husband is a kind and decent man. But he is very ordinary. He has a boring middle manager job and lives a very ordinary life with middle/ lower middle class people. He’s just an average Joe.

I notice my social circle pairing up and it’s obvious that I have “married down.” None of my friends have anything in common with my husband. We’re all globalists and enjoy the finer things in life and he is very simple. We all have interesting careers at World Bank, NASA and USAID etc... my husband is at a small company and has no greater ambitions.

I was attracted to him because he is so nice and kind. But I’m sick of everyone looking down at him and his “redneck” ways and feel embarrassed.

I feel awful. I love him dearly but can’t help but feel annoyed that no one seems to appreciate him or be impressed by him.

[Anonymous]

Why do you have the expectation that your social circle adore, admire and respect your husband so much? That's for you to do. You need to stop caring what others think. As long as you love him and he's treating you well, that's all that matters. Sounds like you have a great guy, but you are taking him for granted. Stop that.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you need new friends. You might just enjoy life more if you make friends with his friends wife’s. You know slow down. Laugh. Enjoy life.

Or... if you don’t have kids... leave. And marry equal or up next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. My husband is a kind and decent man. But he is very ordinary. He has a boring middle manager job and lives a very ordinary life with middle/ lower middle class people. He’s just an average Joe. What, exactly, is so extraordinary about you?

I notice my social circle pairing up and it’s obvious that I have “married down.” None of my friends have anything in common with my husband. We’re all globalists and enjoy the finer things in life and he is very simple. We all have interesting careers at World Bank, NASA and USAID etc... my husband is at a small company and has no greater ambitions. Why can’t you enjoy the “finer things in life” with your husband? Can you not provide yourself that lifestyle?

I was attracted to him because he is so nice and kind. But I’m sick of everyone looking down at him and his “redneck” ways and feel embarrassed. Does anyone besides you consider his lifestyle to be “redneck”?

I feel awful. I love him dearly but can’t help but feel annoyed that no one seems to appreciate him or be impressed by him. Your post sounds like YOU are ashamed of him for not aspiring to the greatness of the rest of your social circle. Don’t put that on anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Being a "globalist" is all well and good, but if your friends make your spouse feel unwelcome then your friends aren't very good people. Instead of starting to view your husband through their critical eyes, expand your circle. Being ambitious or smart is no excuse for being rude and unkind.

[Anonymous]

Comparison is the thief of joy, OP.

It sounds like your husband deserves better.

[Anonymous]

Op here.

Myself and my friends are very ambitious. Top of the class, ambitious careers, eager and interested in the greater world and trends. I was the first to settle down and married my now husband when we met at a prestigious grad program. He was the first person in his family to go to college and he was so smart in academics. When we married I was so happy and felt I had picked my perfect match. But then I noticed he took a small job at a small company in the middle of nowhere and I didn’t care much as my career was impressive and occupied me. Meanwhile a few years later my friends are settling down and it’s obvious they are also interested in and seeking ambitious accomplished men, when we get together it’s all about “ wow your man is so smart” or “ wow your husband just made millions” and then they turn to me and are like, “ oh John is so adorable!”

I don’t like that condescending tone. Some have actually told me they are so surprised I ended up with him.

It gets to me.

I also feel like there must be something wrong with me that I wasn’t able to marry a “catch”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Myself and my friends are very ambitious. Top of the class, ambitious careers, eager and interested in the greater world and trends. I was the first to settle down and married my now husband when we met at a prestigious grad program. He was the first person in his family to go to college and he was so smart in academics. When we married I was so happy and felt I had picked my perfect match. But then I noticed he took a small job at a small company in the middle of nowhere and I didn’t care much as my career was impressive and occupied me. Meanwhile a few years later my friends are settling down and it’s obvious they are also interested in and seeking ambitious accomplished men, when we get together it’s all about “ wow your man is so smart” or “ wow your husband just made millions” and then they turn to me and are like, “ oh John is so adorable!”

I don’t like that condescending tone. Some have actually told me they are so surprised I ended up with him.

It gets to me.

I also feel like there must be something wrong with me that I wasn’t able to marry a “catch”

This is a friend problem, not a husband problem.

More specifically, it is a wife problem.

[Anonymous]

You definitely need a new set of friends.

[Anonymous]

Poor DH...

[Anonymous]

The problem isn’t other people looking down on him; it’s you looking down on him.

[Anonymous]

We can’t all marry Harry.

[Anonymous]

is this a troll or what? Who is like this?

half the posts on DCUM are from women who married rich guys/doctors/hot shot DC lawyers etc. who turned out to be assholes and mistreat them.

Read all those posts and feel better.

[Anonymous]

The loser here is not DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:is this a troll or what? Who is like this?

half the posts on DCUM are from women who married rich guys/doctors/hot shot DC lawyers etc. who turned out to be assholes and mistreat them.

Read all those posts and feel better.

OP sounds like a guy writing a post to put down other men to improve his odds in the dating pool. Probably insecure that some of these “average” guys are much better in bed.